Adventures in Trauma-Land

My first year of nursing was in a step down trauma unit at a Level 1 Trauma Center. I now work in Labor and Delivery, but I'm still writing lots about nursing in general. Disclaimer: HIPAA is a big deal! All patient stories have been changed to protect patient privacy. I can/will change any or all identifiers, including age,...

[adventuresintraumaland]

Me to myself while charting patients: Which one was the crier yesterday…? So many of them cried.

My sister: *snickers*

Me: Let me introduce you to my lord and savior “SSRIs”

[adventuresintraumaland]

Is she.... slapping my uterus??

C-section patient while she’s lying on the OR table with her abdomen open.

[adventuresintraumaland]

Pt quote I just relayed to my non-medical sister with her commentary

Doctor educates patient on a fat free diet for gallstones.

Patient's family member: So can she have a milkshake??

My sister: I mean, if you use fat free milk, fat free ice cream.... fat free... butter??

Me: Do you really think you put butter in a milkshake??

Her: I DON'T KNOW.

Me: So I guess you just proved my point.

[copingnurse-deactivated20240217]

Getting through a hard nursing day...

[adventuresintraumaland]

Woof.

[whatsyouremergency]

Visitor: Someone help! I need a nurse right now! Nurse: (rushes over) What’s going on? Visitor: My mother needs a pillow and a blanket! Nurse:

[the-memedaddy]

Meirl

[redlightsgreen]

Some poor nurse somehow accidentally paged every. single. resident. in our program,  all ninety something of us, this afternoon to ask about her patient’s diet order. 

At first I didn’t realize why she sounded so flustered when I returned the page. Then, as I listened to 8 of my colleagues call the page back over the course of the afternoon, I realized that poor woman has probably had to field 50+ phonecalls about this.

[meanwhileonwednesday]

I once paged EVERY SINGLE PAGER IN THE HOSPITAL by mistake, at like 11 night, instead of the doc I wanted. The Doc is super cool and we are bros and this page said something along the lines of

“Whats the dealio with our bro with sepsis”

I eventually just quit picking up the phone

[redlightsgreen]

Bless it. that is pretty good.

[cranquis]

[cdnnurse]

[adventuresintraumaland]

So much of this... And I'm gonna start using, “Thank you for being patient.” more often. 

[copingnurse-deactivated20240217]

When I’m looking around for a grown up nurse, but then I realize I am the grown up nurse there...

[adventuresintraumaland]

This is happening with increasing regularity... 

[adventuresintraumaland]

[adventuresintraumaland]

[scrubsmag-blog]

[adventuresintraumaland]

Dear God, why in the year of our Lord, 2019, are we still using glass ampules to store medications???

Me minutes after slicing my finger open on an ampule.

[adventuresintraumaland]

OH MY GOD, IT'S A BABY!

A patient recently, just after she birthed her baby. Her next comment was, “Oh my God, my vagina hurts.” 

[adventuresintraumaland]

I’m sorry, but I was crying with laughter while reading this. 

[adventuresintraumaland]

When you walk out of the hospital at 1900 and there are nine ambulances in the ambulance bay.