Komodo Wisdom

My name is Advice Lizard and I'm here to share my wisdom. Pls start ur message with "advice lizard give me your wisdom" or I can't reply (it's an old curse, I can't do much about it).

[advice-lizard]

Advice lizard give me your wisdom... How do I stop CRYING 😭

Hey, Young Lizard, it’s all gonna be okay. Cry your heart out, sweet gecko, you’ll feel better afterwards. For now, have this soft lizard: 

[mrsboopsnoot]

My son thinks he is a chameleon.

[thingsonmydragon]

The banana has opinions

[snihplodart]

uhhh do u draw lizards? it's for a friend

do i draw lizards

well i do now

yo @advice-lizard i feel like this is up your alley

Support me with Ko-fi!

[advice-lizard]

advice lizard give me your wisdom... i have sunburn on my scales, how should i treat it?

oh no, young lizard, that sounds bad. ask the humans for some of that aloe gel, it’s very soothing. maybe try a cold soak? and stay out of the sun as much as possible!! drink lots of water too, you don’t want heatstroke on top of that 💚

[advice-lizard]

yo advice lizard give me your wisdom how do i get fam to stop talking about zombie farts

That sounds like a Unique family you got there. Maybe bring up a different subject, but take into account it must be more compelling than “zombie farts”. Perhaps “unicorn farts” or “lizards”. Next time, don’t even let them bring up the farts, just start talking about lizards, or dragons which are basically the same.

[advice-lizard]

Advice lizard give me your wisdom. How to lizard?

See the lizard.

Feel the lizard.

Be the lizard.

[advice-lizard]

advice lizard give me your wisdom: how do i get up early enough to make myself coffee

Go to bed early! Alternatively: program your coffee maker, I’ve seen some humans have those with a lot of buttons. Ask someone who wakes up earlier to put some water on the stove for u. Adopt a lizard and train her to prepare your morning coffee.

[advice-lizard]

Advice lizard give me your wisdom: what should I do if a lizard is in my house, and I try to get them out, but they’re a huge dick about it?

Baby lizard is probably looking for food or a warm place to chill, my advice is to adopt it, but if you’re not up for that you can offer them food outside and wait for them to make their way out there. Trying to capture them might be too hard bc we’re fast and sneaky and they’re probably scared. My best suggestion is food and patience.

[snihplod]

“if they don’t send asks starting with “advice lizard give me your wisdom” I won’t reply”

— @trenazlore

[trenazlore]

I’m starting an advice lizard blog, send me ur queries

[snihplod]

omg yes excite

[advice-lizard]

hello, little lizards, ur king is here