Truths that go unsaid

From one beaten up soul to another, here's some advice that could be useful. [He/Him]

[advicesuggestions]

Roll back your shoulders and breathe, I don't think you realize how stiff they've become over the years. You're in a safer space now, even if it's just you now

[advicesuggestions]

Roll back your shoulders and breathe, I don't think you realize how stiff they've become over the years. You're in a safer space now, even if it's just you now

[advicesuggestions]

Good morning/evening everyone! I've decided to open up submissions! I figured that it's been a long time coming, so please if you have any type of advice you'd like to share upon the world, feel free to send my way!!

(If you'd like to have a little neat sign off, also lmk in your submission! it'll be used as a way to track your past advices. All submissions will be anonymous by default)

[advicesuggestions]

hello friend, im in need of ur help. this is love advice tho so if u dont do that pls js let me know that u dont in response to this.

-----

here goes, SO i go to a sports club. its mixed boys and girls in it. i wont specify which sport i play, reason being that some of the players MIGHT be on tumblr.

but pls know that i am a 15 years-old girl, confused and in need of advice. anyways, i met a guy. we are simply 'friends' but lately ive been catching feelings for him. i mean its easy to do so - wouldnt be surprised if there were ten other girls inlove with him.

describing him: in my point of view TOUCHY (as my friend has said once when she got paired up w him for something) POSITIVE (youll never see him not smiling) COMFORTING (if u make mistakes on a game - he'll do everything to comfort u) DREAMY (he's out of a book.)

I like him a WHOLE LOT. and my friends all say that he likes me too for obvious reasons but do u think he does like me? and what should i do next?

heres how it started:

In a match where I was js SOO close to panicking during a time out, he held my hands and shaked them to loosen me up then ruffled my hair. it WAS seen on camera that was behind us. ive caught him looking at me a few times. when i talk to him and im sitting and hes standing, he leans down to me and im basically looking at him upwards while hes leaning down. he NEVER ever misses the chance to say hi, hello or talk to me. he texted me and reassured me of how well i played one time when i got home, one thing that struck by me was him going "its ok bubs" (i COULD NOT sleep that night)

most recent one that kept me up all night 2 nights in a row: he asked me for a hug?! i said no as a joke but he still hugged me anyway.. while teasing me .

reading this ik that it sounds like im sure he likes me but i really am not. my friend said that when they were posing tgt for a pageant he pulled her closer so im not sure if hes js touchy w everyone or if he likes me or if im going delusional.

thoughts? what should i do next?

thank you SOOOOOOO much

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at your story. It's honestly so wholesome to read through. I don't mind answering love advice questions, I'm here to answer any question to the best of my abilities.

There's key points in your story that leads me to believe that he might be a little bit more interested in you than you think. Sure, he may just be an affectionate person and just generally nice to everyone, but have you seen him do the same things to you to anyone else?

If not, chances are your suspensions are correct in that he likes you.

I've watched people try and explain the "mind of a teenage boy/boys in general" and there's always been the consistency of; keeping their emotions covered from others, giving undivided attention (teasing) to those worthy of so, finding someone to confine themselves with so that they to be more honest, things like that.

In terms of what to do next? Decide whether or not that potential relationship is something you want to pursue. Sometimes relationships are just better left as friends, Sometimes they're waiting for you to make the move. Hopefully this could help you and your situation!

-K

[advicesuggestions]

I see you there.

You're doom scrolling again, right?

Things will get better, I know it will. It comes in waves, it's only a matter of time before the tide crashes on the sea floor and to a standstill again.

Take a break, please.

[advicesuggestions]

Hi!! You can ignore this if you want, it's OK.:) I was just looking for blogs on tumblr that help / advise LGBT people. (don't you know any please?) and I noticed your profile. Can i tell you something? I am desperate :(i'm a girl. I thought I was straight. I've always liked boys. But .. sometimes I ... like actresses. I've always said myself that this doesn't mean I'm bi, that's normal. I just think they're pretty. But .. it has happened to me a few times that .. well, for example, I have one classmate (she is 100% straight) and .. I don't know if I like her, probably yes? I could imagine kissing her, maybe others things, but sex itself probably not? I'm confused. I also tried to do orientation tests and it turned out that I was straight. But it is written somewhere that when somebody takes tests for orientation, he/she is probably not straight. I know I should know this by myself, whether I'm straight or not, .. I'm really confused. please would you help me ?? thank you very much. have a nice day and i hope i don't bother you!

desperate anon :(

Well first and foremost, My apologies for not answering this question when you asked. I didn't forget this, I never had tbh, I just didn't know how to tackle it since I wasn't fully sure of my own sexuality and gender identity at the time. I didn't feel fully qualified to answer this question, But I think I have an answer:

It's a struggle to realize a lot of things all at once. Experiencing and thinking things that tie along with the queer community is a lot to handle, especially if this is the first instance of questioning. Being lgbt or coming to the conclusion of being apart of the lgbt community isn't easy nor going to be easy for you. But, the first battle you'll have to face is questioning your sexuality, what thoughts and feelings are considered to be lgbt? do you actually find the same sex attractive? do you find both attractive? maybe the feelings you feel are platonic and maybe you've never actually felt romantic attraction?

On the rumor of "if you take gay quizzes, you probably are gay", A lot of folks in the lgbt community started off their journey by taking the "am I gay?" quizzes, I certainly did and now i'm a comfortable oriented-aromantic trans-dude. Usually the first step of knowing whether or not you're lgbt is if you take quizzes that simulate common stereotypical lgbt experiences. However, this doesn't mean anyone who takes those quizzes are automatically lgbt. It's all up to you to decide. Being informed of the diversity in the community is wonderful and I absolutely encourage you to delve deeper to (hopefully) find a label you feel comfy with. However, experience is key. You may like something in theory, it doesn't necessarily mean you will enjoy it in practice. Don't be afraid to experiment with your identity if you're willing to make that leap.

Side note: You can find someone attractive but not be attracted to the gender in particular, it's called conventional attraction. There's also a term that I suggest you look up: compulsory heterosexuality. This is a common experience with lesbians and the WLW community.

Another Side note: Romantic and Sexual attraction can go hand and hand but are not necessarily the same thing. You can romantically attracted to someone but not be sexually attracted to them. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for the same sex but not for the opposite sex chances, you could be bisexual with a preference for women. If you notice a similar experience but vice versa, you could be a lesbian. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for anyone regardless of identity, you could be asexual!

Again, this is YOUR experience, YOUR identity, only YOU are allowed to make the calls but never get scared to experiment. In my eyes, that's what the lgbt experience is. Just know that no matter what happens, who you end up loving/dating, you are incredibly welcome and valid in the community. I wish you luck on this journey!!

[Don't feel bad for asking this question. You aren't a bother at all. I hope that this very delayed answer will still provide some use and comfort in this path of yours. If you do ever desire to ask for more advice, feel free to send another ask or even a DM. Good Luck :] ]

-Mod K

[advicesuggestions]

Good evening everyone, I'm back after a year (or so) hiatus.

Did you miss me? I mean, especially after what happened with Covid/Pandemic lockdown/post-covid living, surely someone's looking for some positivity and/or advice. Well, i'm happy to say that i'll be doing just that!

Also I'm going by a new name, K. My inbox will be open for anyone to ask questions, advice, or just some banter. Before I get back fully into the swing of things, just know that no matter what the world may have thrown at you, You're incredible for being alive. Thank you for sticking around. I hope one day you'll smile at your reflection [again].

-Mod K

[advicesuggestions]

Just to add on to this; I made this blog during the peak of the pandemic. I was going through a lot of things in real life (family issues, relationship issues, etc) and while I was on here I came across a lot of these types of blogs where they spread positivity, kindness, advice, resources, etc. one of them was @//sugarysuggestion. Idk how they're doing now but I wanna thank them for inspiring me to make this blog. I never expected people to actually care about it so i'm glad someone found something worth while from this blog.

I'll end this little thing by saying this; Take every chance you get. All of those harmless ideas you have bouncing off the walls of your brain? Goals that you want to accomplish? Daydreams that you wanna move to reality? Do it. Just go for it. Progress is defined by success and failure, without one and another, you won't progress. Take the chance, try it. You never know what you'll miss out on if you don't. Don't be afraid of what you're missing out.

-Mod K

[advicesuggestions]

Hi!! You can ignore this if you want, it's OK.:) I was just looking for blogs on tumblr that help / advise LGBT people. (don't you know any please?) and I noticed your profile. Can i tell you something? I am desperate :(i'm a girl. I thought I was straight. I've always liked boys. But .. sometimes I ... like actresses. I've always said myself that this doesn't mean I'm bi, that's normal. I just think they're pretty. But .. it has happened to me a few times that .. well, for example, I have one classmate (she is 100% straight) and .. I don't know if I like her, probably yes? I could imagine kissing her, maybe others things, but sex itself probably not? I'm confused. I also tried to do orientation tests and it turned out that I was straight. But it is written somewhere that when somebody takes tests for orientation, he/she is probably not straight. I know I should know this by myself, whether I'm straight or not, .. I'm really confused. please would you help me ?? thank you very much. have a nice day and i hope i don't bother you!

desperate anon :(

Well first and foremost, My apologies for not answering this question when you asked. I didn't forget this, I never had tbh, I just didn't know how to tackle it since I wasn't fully sure of my own sexuality and gender identity at the time. I didn't feel fully qualified to answer this question, But I think I have an answer:

It's a struggle to realize a lot of things all at once. Experiencing and thinking things that tie along with the queer community is a lot to handle, especially if this is the first instance of questioning. Being lgbt or coming to the conclusion of being apart of the lgbt community isn't easy nor going to be easy for you. But, the first battle you'll have to face is questioning your sexuality, what thoughts and feelings are considered to be lgbt? do you actually find the same sex attractive? do you find both attractive? maybe the feelings you feel are platonic and maybe you've never actually felt romantic attraction?

On the rumor of "if you take gay quizzes, you probably are gay", A lot of folks in the lgbt community started off their journey by taking the "am I gay?" quizzes, I certainly did and now i'm a comfortable oriented-aromantic trans-dude. Usually the first step of knowing whether or not you're lgbt is if you take quizzes that simulate common stereotypical lgbt experiences. However, this doesn't mean anyone who takes those quizzes are automatically lgbt. It's all up to you to decide. Being informed of the diversity in the community is wonderful and I absolutely encourage you to delve deeper to (hopefully) find a label you feel comfy with. However, experience is key. You may like something in theory, it doesn't necessarily mean you will enjoy it in practice. Don't be afraid to experiment with your identity if you're willing to make that leap.

Side note: You can find someone attractive but not be attracted to the gender in particular, it's called conventional attraction. There's also a term that I suggest you look up: compulsory heterosexuality. This is a common experience with lesbians and the WLW community.

Another Side note: Romantic and Sexual attraction can go hand and hand but are not necessarily the same thing. You can romantically attracted to someone but not be sexually attracted to them. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for the same sex but not for the opposite sex chances, you could be bisexual with a preference for women. If you notice a similar experience but vice versa, you could be a lesbian. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for anyone regardless of identity, you could be asexual!

Again, this is YOUR experience, YOUR identity, only YOU are allowed to make the calls but never get scared to experiment. In my eyes, that's what the lgbt experience is. Just know that no matter what happens, who you end up loving/dating, you are incredibly welcome and valid in the community. I wish you luck on this journey!!

[Don't feel bad for asking this question. You aren't a bother at all. I hope that this very delayed answer will still provide some use and comfort in this path of yours. If you do ever desire to ask for more advice, feel free to send another ask or even a DM. Good Luck :] ]

-Mod K

[advicesuggestions]

I see you there.

You're doom scrolling again, right?

Things will get better, I know it will. It comes in waves, it's only a matter of time before the tide crashes on the sea floor and to a standstill again.

Take a break, please.

[advicesuggestions]

i feel ugly. i feel disgusting and filthy and unwantable. i shouldnt be jealous of my bestfriend - shes my bestfriend for a reason. but all the guys seem to want her and watch me stand beside her without paying any mind to me.

woah hey now, no need to talk down on yourself like this. what you feel is incredibly valid, maybe there's qualities about yourself that you deem less than ideal, but I'm sure that you have something special about you!! everyone does, all beings do.

Physical appearance isn't the end all be all for attraction, it's simply a section of it. I think it's normal that you'd feel this way, especially if your best friend is very conventionally attractive in the eyes of society. But this doesn't mean you aren't beautiful or attractive. She's your best friend for a reason; she saw something in you worth sticking around for, she found you and became your best friend for a reason.

I may not know you, but speaking so lowly of yourself just isn't fair to you and your self-worth. Seriously, go out and reflect on who you are. Understand yourself and your outward appearance (mannerisms, physical appearance, tone, personality, etc) and try and find one thing you deem attractive or worthy of attention.

and if all else fails, like the saying goes; fake it to you make it!

[advicesuggestions]

hello friend, im in need of ur help. this is love advice tho so if u dont do that pls js let me know that u dont in response to this.

-----

here goes, SO i go to a sports club. its mixed boys and girls in it. i wont specify which sport i play, reason being that some of the players MIGHT be on tumblr.

but pls know that i am a 15 years-old girl, confused and in need of advice. anyways, i met a guy. we are simply 'friends' but lately ive been catching feelings for him. i mean its easy to do so - wouldnt be surprised if there were ten other girls inlove with him.

describing him: in my point of view TOUCHY (as my friend has said once when she got paired up w him for something) POSITIVE (youll never see him not smiling) COMFORTING (if u make mistakes on a game - he'll do everything to comfort u) DREAMY (he's out of a book.)

I like him a WHOLE LOT. and my friends all say that he likes me too for obvious reasons but do u think he does like me? and what should i do next?

heres how it started:

In a match where I was js SOO close to panicking during a time out, he held my hands and shaked them to loosen me up then ruffled my hair. it WAS seen on camera that was behind us. ive caught him looking at me a few times. when i talk to him and im sitting and hes standing, he leans down to me and im basically looking at him upwards while hes leaning down. he NEVER ever misses the chance to say hi, hello or talk to me. he texted me and reassured me of how well i played one time when i got home, one thing that struck by me was him going "its ok bubs" (i COULD NOT sleep that night)

most recent one that kept me up all night 2 nights in a row: he asked me for a hug?! i said no as a joke but he still hugged me anyway.. while teasing me .

reading this ik that it sounds like im sure he likes me but i really am not. my friend said that when they were posing tgt for a pageant he pulled her closer so im not sure if hes js touchy w everyone or if he likes me or if im going delusional.

thoughts? what should i do next?

thank you SOOOOOOO much

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at your story. It's honestly so wholesome to read through. I don't mind answering love advice questions, I'm here to answer any question to the best of my abilities.

There's key points in your story that leads me to believe that he might be a little bit more interested in you than you think. Sure, he may just be an affectionate person and just generally nice to everyone, but have you seen him do the same things to you to anyone else?

If not, chances are your suspensions are correct in that he likes you.

I've watched people try and explain the "mind of a teenage boy/boys in general" and there's always been the consistency of; keeping their emotions covered from others, giving undivided attention (teasing) to those worthy of so, finding someone to confine themselves with so that they to be more honest, things like that.

In terms of what to do next? Decide whether or not that potential relationship is something you want to pursue. Sometimes relationships are just better left as friends, Sometimes they're waiting for you to make the move. Hopefully this could help you and your situation!

-K

[advicesuggestions]

i feel ugly. i feel disgusting and filthy and unwantable. i shouldnt be jealous of my bestfriend - shes my bestfriend for a reason. but all the guys seem to want her and watch me stand beside her without paying any mind to me.

woah hey now, no need to talk down on yourself like this. what you feel is incredibly valid, maybe there's qualities about yourself that you deem less than ideal, but I'm sure that you have something special about you!! everyone does, all beings do.

Physical appearance isn't the end all be all for attraction, it's simply a section of it. I think it's normal that you'd feel this way, especially if your best friend is very conventionally attractive in the eyes of society. But this doesn't mean you aren't beautiful or attractive. She's your best friend for a reason; she saw something in you worth sticking around for, she found you and became your best friend for a reason.

I may not know you, but speaking so lowly of yourself just isn't fair to you and your self-worth. Seriously, go out and reflect on who you are. Understand yourself and your outward appearance (mannerisms, physical appearance, tone, personality, etc) and try and find one thing you deem attractive or worthy of attention.

and if all else fails, like the saying goes; fake it to you make it!

[advicesuggestions]

I see you there.

You're doom scrolling again, right?

Things will get better, I know it will. It comes in waves, it's only a matter of time before the tide crashes on the sea floor and to a standstill again.

Take a break, please.

[advicesuggestions]

Hi!! You can ignore this if you want, it's OK.:) I was just looking for blogs on tumblr that help / advise LGBT people. (don't you know any please?) and I noticed your profile. Can i tell you something? I am desperate :(i'm a girl. I thought I was straight. I've always liked boys. But .. sometimes I ... like actresses. I've always said myself that this doesn't mean I'm bi, that's normal. I just think they're pretty. But .. it has happened to me a few times that .. well, for example, I have one classmate (she is 100% straight) and .. I don't know if I like her, probably yes? I could imagine kissing her, maybe others things, but sex itself probably not? I'm confused. I also tried to do orientation tests and it turned out that I was straight. But it is written somewhere that when somebody takes tests for orientation, he/she is probably not straight. I know I should know this by myself, whether I'm straight or not, .. I'm really confused. please would you help me ?? thank you very much. have a nice day and i hope i don't bother you!

desperate anon :(

Well first and foremost, My apologies for not answering this question when you asked. I didn't forget this, I never had tbh, I just didn't know how to tackle it since I wasn't fully sure of my own sexuality and gender identity at the time. I didn't feel fully qualified to answer this question, But I think I have an answer:

It's a struggle to realize a lot of things all at once. Experiencing and thinking things that tie along with the queer community is a lot to handle, especially if this is the first instance of questioning. Being lgbt or coming to the conclusion of being apart of the lgbt community isn't easy nor going to be easy for you. But, the first battle you'll have to face is questioning your sexuality, what thoughts and feelings are considered to be lgbt? do you actually find the same sex attractive? do you find both attractive? maybe the feelings you feel are platonic and maybe you've never actually felt romantic attraction?

On the rumor of "if you take gay quizzes, you probably are gay", A lot of folks in the lgbt community started off their journey by taking the "am I gay?" quizzes, I certainly did and now i'm a comfortable oriented-aromantic trans-dude. Usually the first step of knowing whether or not you're lgbt is if you take quizzes that simulate common stereotypical lgbt experiences. However, this doesn't mean anyone who takes those quizzes are automatically lgbt. It's all up to you to decide. Being informed of the diversity in the community is wonderful and I absolutely encourage you to delve deeper to (hopefully) find a label you feel comfy with. However, experience is key. You may like something in theory, it doesn't necessarily mean you will enjoy it in practice. Don't be afraid to experiment with your identity if you're willing to make that leap.

Side note: You can find someone attractive but not be attracted to the gender in particular, it's called conventional attraction. There's also a term that I suggest you look up: compulsory heterosexuality. This is a common experience with lesbians and the WLW community.

Another Side note: Romantic and Sexual attraction can go hand and hand but are not necessarily the same thing. You can romantically attracted to someone but not be sexually attracted to them. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for the same sex but not for the opposite sex chances, you could be bisexual with a preference for women. If you notice a similar experience but vice versa, you could be a lesbian. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for anyone regardless of identity, you could be asexual!

Again, this is YOUR experience, YOUR identity, only YOU are allowed to make the calls but never get scared to experiment. In my eyes, that's what the lgbt experience is. Just know that no matter what happens, who you end up loving/dating, you are incredibly welcome and valid in the community. I wish you luck on this journey!!

[Don't feel bad for asking this question. You aren't a bother at all. I hope that this very delayed answer will still provide some use and comfort in this path of yours. If you do ever desire to ask for more advice, feel free to send another ask or even a DM. Good Luck :] ]

-Mod K

[advicesuggestions]

Good evening everyone, I'm back after a year (or so) hiatus.

Did you miss me? I mean, especially after what happened with Covid/Pandemic lockdown/post-covid living, surely someone's looking for some positivity and/or advice. Well, i'm happy to say that i'll be doing just that!

Also I'm going by a new name, K. My inbox will be open for anyone to ask questions, advice, or just some banter. Before I get back fully into the swing of things, just know that no matter what the world may have thrown at you, You're incredible for being alive. Thank you for sticking around. I hope one day you'll smile at your reflection [again].

-Mod K

[advicesuggestions]

Just to add on to this; I made this blog during the peak of the pandemic. I was going through a lot of things in real life (family issues, relationship issues, etc) and while I was on here I came across a lot of these types of blogs where they spread positivity, kindness, advice, resources, etc. one of them was @//sugarysuggestion. Idk how they're doing now but I wanna thank them for inspiring me to make this blog. I never expected people to actually care about it so i'm glad someone found something worth while from this blog.

I'll end this little thing by saying this; Take every chance you get. All of those harmless ideas you have bouncing off the walls of your brain? Goals that you want to accomplish? Daydreams that you wanna move to reality? Do it. Just go for it. Progress is defined by success and failure, without one and another, you won't progress. Take the chance, try it. You never know what you'll miss out on if you don't. Don't be afraid of what you're missing out.

-Mod K

[sugarysuggestion]

hey everyone! i know its been a while, but my band PhlipFone just released our new single ‘Big Bad Wolf’ ! its off of our upcoming album Formless Figures, pls follow phlipfoneofficial on insta for updates! (art by me!)

[advicesuggestions]

Good evening everyone, I'm back after a year (or so) hiatus.

Did you miss me? I mean, especially after what happened with Covid/Pandemic lockdown/post-covid living, surely someone's looking for some positivity and/or advice. Well, i'm happy to say that i'll be doing just that!

Also I'm going by a new name, K. My inbox will be open for anyone to ask questions, advice, or just some banter. Before I get back fully into the swing of things, just know that no matter what the world may have thrown at you, You're incredible for being alive. Thank you for sticking around. I hope one day you'll smile at your reflection [again].

-Mod K