big shlumpo

🩸𝖺𝗅𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗒 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘥

[ady-slim]

neon flower

they say neon shines forever

but what if it outlasts me

what if you learn more from the colors than my intentions with them

if so, do I lean into the danger?

like leaning over the balcony to get a better view

or leaning the chair back to feel the rush

need I recall that this is my finest endeavor

how bitter sweet the last could be

I wouldn’t know when it ever was, I would only know to express what’s within

the abandon

if I can also express salvation to whom would I grant it

how many chances until I’m past my two thousand

you don’t have to trust my lovely words, you must test to see if I am consistent

to love is to lose, and to lose is to live

those heightened colors want to glow definitively

unmistakably a shift in fate

unabashedly you flaunt your pretty smile

unbelievable as it is tangible

like a native flower

like a light I can’t hide from

whimsy that brings an inevitable smile

and eyes that don’t lie to me

if I pluck you, you die with me

and if I wait and leave you be, I can enjoy you a little longer

I will wait, to get to bask in both

a moment for us

this time I choose not to announce my final act

I will simply let them come across it

[ady-slim]

sometimes you lose

how drastic an introduction

the delicate skeleton of my illusive ambitions

flavored by my undoing

a dramatic taunting

the truth I believed, raptured from me

but only truth when it echoed back

not explicitly

yet reassuring, and beautiful nonetheless

your tears of epiphany

the same ones I cried days before

what a dilemma to be tangled up in

but timing was my unraveling

and then it would become my dread

my recusing

my chosen exile

my heart warming up to you, and then imploding

the inevitable supernova

a concerto of bitter failures

a manifesto of crashing and burning

the taste of blood and defeat in my mouth

the natural progression of my feelings, interrupted by fate

and naturally, as I sobered up

our bittersweet farewell

that I remember clear as day

and the moments I do, it still burns going down

but I'll live

I suppose I'll survive

but it won't be the same

and I won't be the same

am I okay with that?

I get that my source is no respecter of persons

but I wish I could've been spared this time

I would've put away all of my reservations against love, and cherished my chance with you, unabashedly

don't you see, its supposed to happen this way

and my living on is my penance

because sometimes, you lose

and this time, I lost you

[ady-slim]

drink from this cup

I can't hold on to this

you and I are almost the same, were it not for gender and some decades

in my eyes, there was no mercy for you

in my heart, there is nothing but hurt with you

yet

yet?

yet I can't abandon you

I can't hold on to this, it burns

I didn't want you to go alone, so I butchered my arrogance in order to see you smile

the evidence of healing scoffed at

scoffed at by an unrelenting bitter heart

an unbelieving soul

as for me, I believe, well, at least now I do

and pity

pity a soul unwilling to start the healing

because time has passed since the bloom of sincerity

the earth has shifted since the last time

since the last time I hated you

and in fact

I cant hold on to this, it burns in my chest

to see the other side of this

your side

the name and nobility you crown me with

the irony of our quarrel

because aren't I made of you

it doesn't hold me to anything

you know, I was already planning

I was preparing myself for you to love me conditionally

but if there's hope I'll take it

if there's yet another day after this, I would anticipate that gracious sunrise

because I

I can't

I can't hold on to this, it burns in my chest

what burns in your chest?

the truth about us

[ady-slim]

It's been a good while

you know what, it has been a while

since we've shared a drink, beheld a smile

what brings you here so suddenly?

we don't talk

we don't even frequent each other

after all the times I lied to you

but the truth I wouldn't admit kept you from offense

I'm used to us being at odds

to us not getting along

to us avoiding any appearance, and any suggesting song

so quite the nerve, for you and I to even consider

see I thought I knew sobriety

convinced I was past this primitive pulse

but warmth barges in, affection assaults my door, enamor undoes the locks and tosses the bar across the entrance to my heart

and suddenly, I'm helplessly in love

[ady-slim]

Rain

the elegant talent of the rain

to grace a place that it may never exist again

and if it returns, things are never the same

the unique method of the rain

it comes and goes, and leaves nothing the same

it interferes with life, and causes pain

the great havoc of the rain

the balance of power

to be subtle at first, but vengeful within the hour

a wild mystery of the rain

its first purpose was to a bring slow death

but now it renews life, again and again

the undeniable purpose of the rain

[ady-slim]

Disgusted

how disgusting

a betrayal when I was trusting

I give you compassion, and yet you lusted

the knife you thrusted

a voluntary blindfold

before a Deity that never sleeps

bid grace, seven-even ten fold

or did you think of God as vengeful?

should not the judge of all the earth do right?

so you'd be justified in destroying my life

but who knows you well enough

why trust with such benevolent intentions

sin adorns my hands and eyes

evil glazed my heart

and I drown in mercy each morning

at dawn, I feel disgusting

I cannot bare it

save me, oh source of mercy

[ady-slim]

the future is mine

when the future is mine

who could take it

all could covet

but each would forsake it

to unhand with my fate would be horrendous

it needs someone to cling to, its dependent

a horrible thing to fall into the hands of a man blind to his own narcissism

but a petty thing, to abandon my post, for some empty criticism

I stand alone

not once before, was I ever this lonely

but there there has been time when I was accompanied by complacency

a bitter end, one can find themselves beholding

and for what?

a single moment of enjoyment for what's truly blissful yet scalding

my heart wells with pity, it overflows with sorrow, it melts in grief, and I see myself in each of you

like a sole voice, wails of repentance echo in the dark

I stand forsaken

none would covet

who could take it

don't you see, the future is mine

[ady-slim]

END OF THE WORLD

(July 14th, 2022)

mixed media (sticker), posca pens, sharpie & acrylic on canvas (16”)

[part of the END IS NIGH Series]

#EndOfTheWorld #AdySlim #Ady #FakeLabyrinth #Posca #Acrylic #POD #Art #Abstract

[ady-slim]

IX

(August 12th, 2022)

Azure markers and acrylics on canvas

(8”x10”)

[part of the END IS NIGH Series]

#IX #AdySlim #Ady #FakeLabyrinth #Azure #Acrylic #Irae #Art #Abstract

[ady-slim]

FEARLESS

(November 12th, 2022)

Acrylic, Posca, mixed media (sticker) & Hand Made Modern metallic paint marker on canvas (8”x10”)

[part of the END IS NIGH Series]

#Fearless #AdySlim #Ady #FakeLabyrinth #Posca #HandMadeModern #ForToday #Art #Abstract

[ady-slim]

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