When will gods let you rest
trying on a metaphor
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@aeneasmuses
When will gods let you rest
god-king.
poisoned mind, bound with malice
So Ganon huh *shakes like a caffeinated chihuahua*
Throughout Heaven and Earth,
only Darkness shall remain 🩸
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So... why would Ganondorf write the names of his moms in Hylian and not in Gerudo?
I fixed it for you, Nintendo. You're welcome
I did colour the whole thing but it kinda looked weird
How terrible, that someone like you should exist in such a wretched story.
👄, 🛏️, 🏬
Gonna make the bold assumption that this is for Ganondorf. Shocking, I know.
👄do they prefer oral or penetrative sex more?
Surprisingly, he prefers oral more. Both giving and receiving. It's a dominance thing.
🛏️what’s their favorite position?
Mating press, babyyyyy
🏬would they have sex in public? if so, how public is too public?
Are you kidding, they would fuck on their throne in them middle of holding court.
𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
🧑🤝🧑🧑🤝🧑how do they feel about having multiple partners at once? have they ever done it? 🪢do they have a kink? if so, what is it? 💸have they ever or would they ever accept money or gifts in exchange for sex? 🍆how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners? 🌙do they need an emotional connection or are one-night-stands an option? 🫂how do they feel about friends with benefits? 🍒how old were they when they lost their virginity? to whom? was it significant? 🏳️🌈what’s their sexual orientation? have they ever experimented outside of that [for more binary orientations such as heterosexual/homosexual]? 👄do they prefer oral or penetrative sex more? ↕️are they a sub, dom, or switch? top, bottom, or switch? 🛏️what’s their favorite position? 🔢what’s their body count? 🕒what’s the longest time they went without engaging in sexual activity with a partner? [masturbation doesn’t count] 👀how do they feel about voyeurism? exhibitionism? 🏬would they have sex in public? if so, how public is too public? 🤪what’s the wildest place they’ve ever done something sexual? ❤️🔥what’s their most erogenous zone? 💋do they like to kiss while having sex? do they cuddle afterward? 💦what’s their immediate post-orgasm reaction? 🫶what does after care look like for them?
YOU CAN TAKE PICTURES OF GAN AND THEN HAVE STATUES MADE OF HIM?!
Though for the record, yes, I do headcanon the Gerudo’s absence in games for more than a decade to be in-universe some kind of Great Diaspora.
Hyrule really took exception to their existence after, y’know, Ganondorf pulled his shit.
It likely didn’t happen in the immediate aftermath of OOT. I can’t see that Zelda being cruel like that.
But in the generation or two afterwards? Oh, how quickly people fall back on old grudges.
“I give myself to my people. Over and over again, I give.
“As a young man, in my first life, I plotted and coveted power. All to give my people a better life than wallowing and dying in the desert. And what is the thanks I get? Betrayal. Stabbed in my back by my right hand. My defeat by the Hero of Time made possible by such treason. And then what happens? The Gerudo vanish from the historical records, forced to flee to the corners of the world.
“Never expect the Hylians to be grateful. They see the actions of the one and paint an entire race with that brush. The retribution was swift and unjust. The resulting diaspora lasted thousands of years... One of many reasons I do not forgive Hyrule.
“Now, my most recent life, I still gave. I brought myself to the heels of divinity in order to bring the Gerudo to prosperity. I did not even have to wait for a trusted confidant to betray me this time. The entire tribe did, as soon as they saw my charcoal skin. As soon as they saw my horns. As soon as they saw the power I then wielded, flowing through me like lava.
“A monster they called me! Demon! Monster... they knew not even the meaning of the word. In that life, this life, I am indeed monster-spawn... and I am not referencing my supposed status as Demise-kin.
“Despite all of this, the constant indignities that the Gerudo have thrust upon me... I suspect that I will continue to give my all for them. For though they loathe me, I am still their king. To drag their people kicking and screaming into a better tomorrow, one where they rule... that is what a king must do.”
Send 😶 + a really uncomfortable question and my muse has to answer it
For my beloved King Ganondorf, I am curious if you have ever considered being married. Whoever the bride is would be so lucky to have someone as attractive as you.
"You would think so, wouldn't you?"
"I very much agree. They would be lucky. They should really dwell on what they have and what they wouldn't want to lose. The relationship that could be damaged if they stepped out of line and devised something as ridiculous as, oh I don't know, treason."
What would you do in this situation? ;3
Here’s a link to the interview. Thank you Nintendo staffer for your service.