[aenovi]

ang sakit ko ay panay indrive ngayong maulan. HUHU ayoko naaaa. tama na to. tipid na

[aenovi]

there is something strangely tiring about watching someone insist they don’t want to be chosen while quietly enjoying being wanted.

[aenovi]

“it takes so much bravery to keep your heart soft when culture tells you to stay cold.”

[shakchunni]

do i deserve back pain at this age

[aenovi]

literally went to therapy because of this lol but i do encourage everyone to use and maximize your hmo!

[aenovi]

literal na ang dami kong ganap this month from pilates, lagree, wall climbing to physical therapy for my back????

[aenovi]

i kept telling myself, “it’ll be okay.”

i wore those words like a promise, something to keep me warm while i waited. i waited through the silence, through the almosts, through every excuse that made me believe tomorrow would be kinder than today. i convinced myself that patience was another way of surviving, that if i stayed long enough, something would eventually change.

but one day, without even realizing it, i stopped counting the days. i stopped looking for signs. i stopped asking when. i stopped waiting for the life i kept imagining. not because i found peace but because grief has a quiet way of teaching you that some things never arrive.

there is a sorrow no one talks about, the kind that comes from mourning the version of your life you were certain would happen.

some losses don’t leave all at once. they settle into the spaces where hope used to live, until they begin to feel like another part of you.

and sometimes, the hardest thing to bury is the future you once believed in.

[aenovi]

how do i explain to the pet sitters at the pet hotel that my dog won’t eat unless you watch her and say “wow, good job” “grabe nag eat yan si bunini ko” multiple times??????

[shoelace4-48]

do you ever get mad at yourself because you are you

[aenovi]

alam ko na ang way para pumayat eh, mabroken hahahaha 🤧

[aenovi]

pilates class: done. 🤍

honestly, it was a lot but i had so much fun, especially as a first-timer. the funniest part was when our coach asked if i lift because of my control. i told her i do running, and then in the latter part, i realized my upper body is definitely my weak point. looks like i have something new to work on.

10/10. definitely doing it again.

[aenovi]

i’m getting braces at the end of the month. hahaha. the expenses never seem to end, but for once, they’re for me. after everything last year took out of me, i deserve to pour a little more into myself this year. i’m trying out pilates and lagree too!

[aenovi]

[aenovi]

i used to hate being alone.

the silence was too loud, the empty chair across the table felt like something i had to explain. i thought loneliness was a room i would never learn how to leave.

but lately, i’ve been taking myself out on solo dates. i’ve been sitting with my own thoughts until they stopped feeling unfamiliar. i’ve watched afternoons soften into evenings without needing anyone to witness them. somewhere between coffee cups, bookstores, and aimless walks, i stopped looking for someone to fill the space beside me.

perhaps solitude has always been another word for meeting yourself.

[aenovi]

sa ganitong panahon, gusto ko na lang magpasakal ems

[aidashakur]

[aenovi]

Your poem reminds me of the song Ain't As Pretty A Blue! You write really well :)

it was inspired by that song! so glad you recognized it. thank you ♡

[aenovi]

here comes trouble.

it never knocks, it just slips through the cracks and makes itself at home. and tonight, it wears your name again.

i know this path like muscle memory. it's the slow pull of gravity toward something i should've outgrown by now. i'm staring at the barrel of a heartbreak, wide-eyed and still. not flinching, not running. not anymore. maybe that's the scary part-how calm i've become in the face of destruction. like i've made peace with the fallout before the first blow even lands.

the truth?

i've got time for one last mistake. one more night of pretending we're not already falling apart in quiet ways. one more moment of letting you halfway in, even knowing you were only ever passing through.

i could blame you, but i won't. i walked into this willingly. i always have. there's a comfort in the ache-familiar, like a song you hate loving. and i think part of me still believes that if i let it hurt just right, maybe it'll mean something in the end.

but maybe the saddest part is knowing this doesn't end in fire or fury. just silence. just me, sitting with the weight of what i already knew.

still, if this is the last time, let it be loud. let it be messy. let me feel it all before the numbness comes back. because i've made peace with the fact that this love was never going to save me.

but tonight, i'll let it ruin me one last time.