Aerynn's world ♥

Hi! I'm Aerynn, nice to meet you. You'll find a lot of thing like Ensemble Stars, K Project, Hand Shakers, W'z, etc. I also take resquest for graphism creation. ♥ || RP: Ask since I've too many...

[aerynn-roza]

♠ I just keep feeling like I did something wrong to someone when I don't remember saying or doing something... Maybe everyone was right, I'm really the worst friend... I should've stay forgotten in a dark corner and stop talking since I'm annoying...

♦ I deal with a lots of things making everything spiking up so bad. I may sound rude or interested and all but I'm only getting time for myself like now after three months of running everywhere and be exhauted as fuck.

For now.. I'll disappear from everywhere and only hope everything would be only a nightmare or me overthinking again...

[aerynn-roza]

♠ Since some peoples find me annoying and all, here's what I think: Get the hell lost. I'm not gonna change for anyone.

And now, I'm gonna make myself a new creations for here and only me. No more gifts.

[aerynn-roza]

♠ I know that I'm the worst kind friend.. The one who keep everything to herself instead of talking but cheering everyone else up. Everyone gets frustrated with me all time when I'm never been good at being social..

I've many worries related to my work, of course, it pisses me off not having more hours than that stupid girl who always ask everyone for help. They help her but when it was me, I had no one to back me up.

Yet I'm trying to change, trying to get out of my confort zone and get better to express myself correctly. Despite all my efforts, I'm only seen as a burden to everyone.

Everyone is far more talented than me, I can only do graphism as well wanted to try earning things with it but I only keep failling as usual. I'm really no good.. Might as well stay hidden, it'll be the best to act as if I never existed in the first place.

[project-sekai-archives]

In the Kohane6 2dmv the members are based off of Each season this also applies to the Aoyagi Family

Kohane - Spring

An - Summer

Akito - Autumn

Toya - Winter

[aerynn-roza]

♠ Give me a damn break.. I got an idiot who never understood that we don't do postal case as much the expedition label I put on it disappeared this morning.. I swear, everything goes against me these days..

[aerynn-roza]

... I really thought I posted them but no. So here the lastest creations. ♥ Some has blogs name on it but pay no mind to the writting. :3

All under the cut :D

[aerynn-roza]

♠ I'm seriously gonna smack some damn senses into their head. Instead of telling me that the headphone aren't valid for refund, I only did what they told me. Yet, my boss asked me about it as I told her, not aware, none told me, only did how they showed me. Instead of talking where are the freaking phone, TELL ME. I asked but they NEVER TOLD ME.

At least, my boss understood and should tell them to explain correctly so I can take notes so I could know.

I'm no vendor, I'm at the freaking registrer. When I ask, thank you to lemme know correctly and not having my boss asking about it. At least, she said okay for this time but to write it so it won't happen again.

Still.. I've the rights to be mad since I only did what I learned, not the one to blame.

Watch me having my notebook and write about this. Not gonna let them using the 'We told her' when it's not. Fucking idiots.

[aerynn-roza]

♠ Maybe they were right about me, I'm really no good as much I realized it these days. My previous work left me with even more anxiety than before, obligated to be perfect, never ask for help, etc.

My boss is always blaming me for something I've no idea she's talking about, gonna be yelled at for giving things easily when I just do what I've been told by my other boss.

I'm the only one at the fucking registrer with a damn huge waiting line for school materials. You ask for help: None is helping but your boss keeps bitching about you should be more fast and all. I'M ALREADY DOING WHATEVER I CAN WITH HOW SMALL IS MY WORKPLACE.

I get yelled for asking about something I don't understand when I rarely ask for something. We need more peoples to work; refuses everyone that wants to. One of my boss had a burnout because of her, so is everyone with her bullshit.

I never met the previous one but even if she had flaws, at least, she respected her peoples and making sure that none was overworking like we are right now. I've no more free time unless it's sunday when I'm supposed to work one weekend on two. My current boss makes us work like slaves, no off on weekend even if you worked all week.

The results are: I'm overworking myself again, I'm so anxious about going back there that I don't sleep at all, wanna cry and wishing that the damn store would close for good or at least, putting me away from customers.

[aerynn-roza]

♠ I’ve all the fucking rights to be that furious! 

i’m supposed to work in the garden section outside for summer and having 40hrs a week. That fucker complained about my hours and guess who next week would have to deal with bullshit and had to work evening shift with someone that keep complaining about everything I do. 

It was made without letting me know and can’t switch with anyone which making me even more angrier than before. Driving in the night is stressing me like hell since unlike everyone at work, I’ve 35 minutes of driving and I hate it. I’m tired, pissed off and can’t even relax since I’ve to be up early and finish late without breaks. 

We have two girls who can work evening shifts more but I’m the one who had to sacrifice everything only to get bullshit when I need off time and all! 

[walrustrain]

Do you ever feel like you’re just convenient?

You’re the convenient friend, convenient time pass, convenient relationship, convenient option for everyone.

You’re the person people hang out with because you’re easy, and always eager because you’re always just so desperate to feel wanted and not alone, but really you’re just convenient.

You know you’re not special, and that your spot in their life will be easily replaced and that they’d much rather someone else in their company- but again you’re just convenient. You’re the convenient option. The always available option.

I’m the friend who has best friends but isn’t the best friend. I’m the convenient friend. I’m the lover who falls in love but never the one being loved. I’m just the convenient route.

Im the ‘never says no’ friend. The ‘easy to take advantage of’ friend. The ‘can you do me a favour?’ friend. I’m the ‘useful until no longer of use’ friend. I’m the ‘I want to do something but everyone else is busy’ friend.

I’m the butt of the joke friend. I’m the punching bag friend. The forgotten friend. The one who’s feelings aren’t considered because I’m the ‘she’ll get over it’ friend.

I’m just the easy and convenient friend.

And that’s my own fault, thinking always being available, always being easy and giving more of myself will finally one day deem me worthy in someone’s eyes. Spoiler alert - it doesn’t. I’m still never enough.

I’m the ‘smile through the pain’ friend because being this friend hurts.

[aerynn-roza]

♠ Enough is enough and I’m seriously pissed off by that damn attitude. The next fucking one who keep saying I don’t reply to this or that reason and I don’t take the time for them, I’m gonna lose it for real.

I’m working my ass off to repair my car, I’m dealing with a fucking girl who keep harassing me and making my life a fucking living hell, I was looking for another work since the more I stay there the more my mood is worst; I can’t sleep, I’ve anxiety attack, I’m scared, I lose patience fast and more. I do fucking try to be there and do what I like but it’s hard. 

I can’t have help. Why? It’s pretty simple, for them I’m making it instead of telling the fucking damn truth. How many time I came back home, crying and wanting to disappear? Way too many time. 

Do you think I’ve an easy life? Wants me to be honest? Then, I’ll be direct. I’ve been bullied all my damn fucking life, I’m hated by life itself, I can’t have my stage for graduating from my graphism class, neither work in it. 

I try to keep my head up and be positive but maybe I’ve enough and tired of this bullshit. That’s why, once my new job is secure, my aunt would find someone else than would do the work. 

If I can see my friends next week, I’ll talk about it and enjoy some time off from the bullshit. 

[anxietyproblem]

[aerynn-roza]

♠ The damn stalker got a nickname, my friends has one while I’m always left out without one and never had one from the start. Guess, I’ll stay in my corner and keep working on things. 

[aerynn-roza]

♠ I was mostly messing around and yet.. It turned out really good! <3 

[aerynn-roza]

[aerynn-roza]

@asexual-demon​ You’re in the scans I’m reading XD

[aerynn-roza]

♦ Everyone again decided for me about my birthday this weekend.. I keep telling that I want to have my friends this year and be at a restaurant I love. But the reality is I’ve no one who wants me around, busy or too far away for that.. 

They decided for the place instead of asking me and also they hate where I want to go.. I don’t hate that place but it’s noisy, I hate sports neither like loud sounds. My ears would ring all time and giving me headache.

I just wanted somewhere calm, that won’t trigger my anxiety and won’t have to feel observed all time and judged. I hate this.. Maybe I should just disappear from everyone and keep being alone and never ask for anything..