How to read peopleâs minds.
Watch Those Pupils
A persons pupils get bigger when they are aroused, interested and/or receptive. If you look into his or her eyes and see those pupils growing large - itâs looking good for you. Basically big pupils (unless itâs just dark) mean a person likes what they see.
Try this experiment, and youâll understand how immediate this effect can be. Go right now and look in the mirror at your own eyes. As you look at them, imagine a sexy man or woman you are attracted to - in whatever way would turn you on. Youâll see that your pupils get bigger in just seconds. Actually, if you love to fish, they may get big just thinking about a lake you love. Anything you like to look at can make your pupils bigger.
Now, there are two ways to use this.
1. Mind Reading
For the mind reading part, you can now watch for changing of pupil size to know if someone is interested in you or what you have to say. And yes, shrinking pupils generally do mean the person is not interested. Just be careful to note if light in the persons eyes is causing the shrinking pupils.
In addition to judging the general level of interest and/or receptivity to you, you can use pupil size to go a little
deeper into a personâs mind. For example, during the course of a conversation, you can describe various scenes or delve into different topics, while watching the persons pupils. If their pupils shrank at the mention of skiing, and got huge when you described a beach you like, you can be fairly certain they would like the Bahamas over a ski resort.
The great thing about this little trick is that you can easily test it and refine your technique. Start with a friend whose interests you know already, and watch their pupils as you describe various places or even ideas. See if getting them to visualize, by saying something âRemember how that car of yours looked,â gets a bigger pupil response.
2. Influencing
If you havenât yet experimented with your own pupils, by watching them in the mirror, go try it now. Youâll find that you can quickly train yourself to change your pupil size at will. Just find a mental image or two that gets them really big, and use these as necessary. Look at a light briefly when you want to shrink your pupils back down. Now, how do you use this?
We all use little clues like pupil size as we interact with people. We are affected by peopleâs expressions and body language even when we havenât yet learned to identify it. In other words - the person in front of you will unconsciously pick upon your enlarging pupils. They will unconsciously take this to mean that you like them,
and for many people, this will make them like you more.
Listen. This is the easiest and most effective way to read minds. Just pay attention, ask a few questions and listen to what they say about themselves.
Watch the Posture. Leaning towards indicates that the person is interested and receptive.
Watch For Hair Play. When women play with their hair while talking to you, it is almost always a sign of receptivity.
Watch the Mouth. A slightly open mouth is a sign of curiosity and interest.
Watch the Head. A tilting head, especially if it comes with a smile and eye contact, is a sign that the person likes you.
Watch the EyesÂ
Here is what peopleâs minds are doing when they are thinking or asked to remember something. This is true for most right handed people (reverse all this for left-handed people): As you face them, and their eyes go:
Up and to the right - they are remembering a visual image.
Up and to the left - They are constructing a visual image.
To the right - They are remembering sounds or conversation.
To the left - The are constructing sounds or conversations.
Down and to the right - They are in an internal dialog.
Down and to the left - They are accessing kinesthetic feelings, tastes and smells.
How to influence the opposite sex:
Use Mirroring and Matching. Match the speed of your speech to that of the person youâre talking to. Sit like he or she is sitting. Use the words they use. This is a fast way to build rapport. Once there is a âbondâ built, you can start to lead the conversation and actions where you want them to go.
Compliment Her or Him. Discover what the person is proud of first, then find a genuine way to compliment them in that area.
Listen. Always show a genuine interest in what the person is saying. Ask appropriate questions, so the person knows youâre paying attention. Use their interests to lead into a direction you want to go.
Make Good First Impressions. Men usually form a quick visual impression in less than 20 seconds, and then make another judgment based on appearance and personality within a couple minutes. Women usually place less immediate emphasis on appearance, and form an âintuitiveâ first impression in a couple minutes. The lesson? Work fast.
By Steve Gillman. Excerpt from âA Book of Secretsâ
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