@bladebroken: night terrors / from armin @ eren!!!
The world distorts itself even in dreams, flowers the decay among his grasp && the permanent smell of iron. It taints each nostril refusing to budge, but there are no flames or rivers of red, there is nothing - desolation that magnifies. Is that the end? Nothing but absolution, to be forgotten in this life. Everyone is asleep, it’s peaceful in this darkness almost reminiscent to the days of a young trainee. Where they would huddle together speaking of dreams far too great for the likes of them or naively believing, they could really be the course of change.
Tears that start to spill, this lonesomeness that lingers within the heart is heavy, it nearly crushes the spirit. When was the last time Eren felt this way? Every time another familiar face was lost, the memories of each ghost that manifested, refusing slumber. There is no point in tears, they stain each bit of clothing but he can feel the weight of another against the hardness of his back. Familiar, close but so far as bright eyes flicker an expression that cannot be read contorting onto soft features.
His bottom lip tries to become stiff, nose wrinkling - that’s always how he has been, trying so valiantly to not cry but it fails each time. There is nothing to be said, desperate fingers that reach out clawing at Armin’s clothing. How does he know? Each emotion that sprawls across his face, Armin can decipher within an instant. Even since they were children, there was no use keeping a secret, he would always figure it out. At times, it makes Eren laugh while others he cannot help but scowl, it is an infuriating skill but one that is needed nonetheless.
There’s hesitance to lean in, as if taking such comfort could shatter the fragility of this small world of theirs. He does not fight instead simply leans in, another nightmare where it feels like the endless sea akin to drowning unable to escape. They’ve become more rampant, memories that are not of his own, the endless sorrow that paints itself so vividly - it is more vibrant with each passing day. All this weight, it's unbearable for a restless soul such as his own, how could he ever speak of the upcoming days? He couldn’t.
Tears that stream from anger, melancholy, embarrassment - all of it pours out refusing to end. It’s so lonely this life, when all he wishes is to hold onto what is left. All of them with their smiling faces, even when they come to aggravate his nerves or cause a sigh to escape, he lingers on the nostalgia of yesterdays. Fingers that weave into messy locks, trying to calm his shaking form - Armin always looks like the sun. Shining brightly with brilliant blue eyes, they were the anchor when he felt disappeared or confused. What was capable of calming the fire in his heart && reminding him to gain clarity, but most importantly, to preserve what he held dear.
“You always know…” words that are aimlessly whispered into the air, the half smile that takes form as tired eyes start to itch. He cannot see him nor make out his shape, but the same heat has been there since childhood. Where he felt little fear when they ran home together, bruised && bloodied from another fight - as long as we’re together. That’s what he always believed, so long as they remained by each other’s side everything would be fine. Despair that had once gripped so tightly now starts to melt away, gentle weeping that becomes silent, a grasp so strong but kind. Sunshine, that's what Armin is to Eren - hope incarnated.
𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 & 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 // accepting!
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