Gaymer’s Galaxy

get it like gamer, but it’s gay bc I’m gay He/They||Artist||Autistic||Poet

[agaymerfry-writing]

An introduction to your host 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

>My name is Riggs, He/They, 22

>Gay/Pan, and Trans (6/1/23 T)

>Autistic, with a handful of other disabilities (most notably dyslexia)

>Artist, and I am in school for graphic design

>>This is my main blog for poetry and such work

(Tagged with #gaymerfrypoems)

>>>My other blogs include:

>>>>My art blog, for personal and school art (school-wise, it’ll be busy during next fall semester) (for those confused, its more digital/traditional picture art, not word art (poetry)

Riggs’ fandom stuff

>>>>My fandom blog, mainly for reblogging fandom content (Mainly: Zelda, Hermitcraft, Persona 5, RWBY, and Splatoon)

Riggs’ fandom stuff

>>>>My personal blog, mostly just what I did that day, probably plugging/reblogging my other blogs, and to encourage me to remember what I did that day (ootd and journaling filled probably)

Riggs’ blog

Thank you for reading this far, feel free to check out my other blogs, and have a lovely [insert time of day here]

˚　 　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

Also maybe this is too many blogs but, I like to sort things and this is that so yay!

[agaymerfry-writing]

Dream boy

Sun up

I rise,

The birds hummed a tune

A sweet melody in the crisp air

Leaves glide off the trees

Squirrels store for the chilly winter

Cranberries are collected

Pecans are picked

Blessed we are by a bountiful harvest

Apples, spice, and everything nice

Jack-o’-lanterns fill the streets

Warm apple cider fills our mugs

Dressed up, playing pretend

Candy given out

Skeletons dance and spirits haunt me

Teeth are rotting,

Monsters turn real, lies transcend

Apples bitter, laced with

Rotten pumpkins litter the street

Apples spiced, and everything’s iced

Pecans Perished

Cranberries Curdled

Cursed are we, a meager harvest

Crows and vultures feast

Branches snapping under my feet

Crickets chirping a harsh melody

A sour tune in the stabbing winds

I fall,

Sun down

I’m just a nightmare in your eyes

[agaymerfry-writing]

Small author update, I have a poem I’m work shopping, it’ll be out on Halloween

Been busy with college so things have been tiring n what not

[agaymerfry-writing]

Bloodletting

In my veins flows heavenly nectar

Ichor, I pray not, but honey

It may be worse

For I attract flies,

And all their pretty lies

Slice me with your tongue,

And out it comes

Sticky and golden

Cup this, honey, into your hands

Drink from it, all of you;

For you pray it’s sweetness

Can forgive your sins

Enjoy the sickeningly sweet flavor

That is the last of me you’ll ever have

No one else may taste my honey

For I am done being endlessly sweet

I will no longer make myself sick

In my veins flows blood.

Rich and red, it is not shed for you

But for me

[agaymerfry-writing]

New poem dropping later today as soon as I can name it

[agaymerfry-writing]

Been a minute since I posted so here, a lil snipit of something I’m workshopping. The flow is a sorta mix between a poem and song lyrics?

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Makin’ sweet tea,

Whatta way to say

That your missin’ me

Its sweetness you desire

No, it’s superficial, my taste

Thats whatcha wish for

Singin songs

And you’ve got my voice

It’s comin through your throat

Leavin off g’s and shortin your words

Your actin just like me,

Bless your heart sugar

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Yeah ima workshop this more but enjoy :3

(Also I hate when northerners use southern language and then in the same breath get upset when a southern..is southern 🙄)

Anyway ur local punk southern poet out

[agaymerfry-writing]

More poetry will come soon. Exams are almost over, and I have words I must release from my pen.

[agaymerfry-writing]

I fell in love with a shapeshifter,

And oh, how ethereal it is.

She can go from a handsome young man, dressed in a dark denim jacket with handmade patches, and laced combat boots,

To a gorgeous young woman, with his short leather skirt and fishnet tights, that suit his body oh so well,

With such ease that they make authors jealous of their transition.

My lover is a shapeshifter,

They are an ever-changing human,

constantly shifting in style,

but never changing in their love for me.

My love for her will never change

My love for him will never change

My love for them will never change

I shall love you no matter the form you take

1/23/24 <3

[agaymerfry-writing]

Cozy Cabin-A Short Story

"I wish you would leave my life completely," you mutter, driving us to the graveyard. A fitting place for our last meeting, though why chose a grim place I was yet to understand. And why a graveyard so close to your school? Convivence? It didn't matter now. I blankly assumed it was because it was dark, and the sky had not a cloud in it.

We always talked about watching the stars together. I want them to shine without competition, so here we are, wearing all black, though I’m not sure whose clothing is who's. As we cross into the graveyard's garden you ask me the same question that must be on your mind all the time. "Who's gonna be your savior of the week?", handing me a shovel. "Weak?", I shoot back instantly, my mind confused, but my body starts to dig. And dig I did, just to please you.

It was all just to please you.

But the hole was never deep enough, was it dandelion? I was always too close to you, and that's why you neglected me, right? I wasn’t worth the energy? Did you just not have the space to grow?

These thoughts flood my mind as the dirt grew higher, and my arms grew tired of digging, I begin to stargaze, idolizing you in the constellations, for all that you've done for me. Which wasn't much expect my name, Orion. I called for you to look at the pit I dug for two hours. The pit guided by your hand, in my sad, desperate attempt for your genuine care.

But when I realized dirt was falling on me, getting in my throat and weighing me down, I panicked. Clawed at the unstable walls, scared, looking for any way out. I took the first way fate gave me out, but you know this.

I should’ve yelled for a ladder, or just for help, but why should I have believed you bring me something? I saw you moments ago, kicking the dirt onto me, trying to bury me, and my head goes fuzzy.

No, I think to myself, I did yell. I did ask for help. I was brought rope. I stood there confused, but managed to scramble out of that grave through a twisted, rotting, tree root. My hands were damaged from the digging, and the thorns twisting around the roots did not help.

And there you were. And you were there waiting.

Able to help, I’ll never know. Willing too? Not at all.

I stared at you, a flurry of emotions consuming me; confused, anguish, selfishly wanting you to hurt but not baring to do so, though I know the ways in which I climbed out of that hole hurt you. And for hurting you I am sorry, but I needed out of the pit. I still loved you, even after you kicked dirt on me, I know you didn't mean too...

As I grapple with my thoughts and what you had just done, you pull something out from behind your back, have you had it this entire time? A flood of questions came over me, consuming my thoughts-

You handed me a gun.

Loaded with one, singular round.

“Stars die out, do everyone a favor and take yourself out with a bang.”

And just like that, I was shattered. I was chipping, cracks running all along my body, but this? All respect, love, care, compassion, everything I had ever felt for you was gone in a matter of seconds.

Just like that, you were gone. You left me in that graveyard.

As I sat against the tombstone, i held the gun in my hands, staring at it. Wondering why someone I loved would do this to me, tell me to do such a horrible thing, especially when they know I've thought about this before...

Yet suddenly, in the distance, I hear a dog whining. As I slowly scramble to my feet, I make way towards the noise, finding a dog with fur as dark as my thoughts, but eyes, scarred eyes that shine like the stars, no, eyes that shine like mine.

I approach him slowly, not wanting to startle him. Holding out my hand for him to sniff, he turns to run, but can only get a few feet before letting out a whine, and under the moonlight I notice he’s limping. I call out to it, saying I can help it, though I don’t know what I’m doing. But I managed to gain his trust, and under the moon’s light I was able to remove thorns and tangled vines from the dog’s three legs. I called him Karma.

Together, we made our way out of that cursed grave. He lead me to a cabin, something small and out of the way from those who’d hurt us. Together we stayed, and cared for each other, and the world around us, keeping weeds out of our garden.

Until you sent me a letter. How did you get my address? Why are you still trying to contact me? I’ll tell you though, the letters made me laugh, the way your obsessed with me is funny.

“Theres a thousand things i wish i could say to clear the air. but ive told a thousand lies to muddy the water” and “id tell you everything given the chance” are the funniest.

Tell me what? That you didn’t mean to give me a gun? That you liked when I made my hands bleed digging for you? That you’ll change and not abuse me?

Your desperate attempts at getting me back made for great kindling, which is the most I’ve gotten from you, so I suppose a thanks is in order.

But I’ll indulge you and answer your question from that fateful night.

“Who's gonna be your savior of the week?”

No one.

I don’t need a savior, and I don’t need saving.

I just needed help leaving you, realizing digging holes and bleeding wasn’t normal. Only someone sick, twisted, only an abuser who lost their power would think i need saving, that i cant live for myself.

It’s clear to me though, I was the one to bring them light, but they got mad when I burned bright. It matters no more, I live for myself now.

Something did die that night.

Any care I had for you as a person.

And myself. The old version of me who would take your neglect, your abuse.

He is dead and gone. But Riggs?

Riggs shall live on in his place, shining as bright as the stars he once was, but free.

Free from you.

Free to live his life, Karma at his side.

[agaymerfry-writing]

Supernova-

Hotter than the sun,

I am a star.

Brightly we burn,

sometimes too quickly, we go out.

You might burn if you get too close but

that’s not my fault darling~

I am a star, a constellation of the cosmos.

I deserve to shine brightly in the sky,

Not covered by your shadow,

Or feel bad for “being the reason Icarus fell”

He chose to fly too close, to not listen

The stars have felt bad about shining

But not anymore.

I am a star.

Hotter than the sun,

And hotter than you.

I am getting my spark back, learning again I have power. This was also sparked by one of my Spotify playlist lol. Rare author pic too, just so y’all know I’m not bluffin lol

[agaymerfry-writing]

Wish Granter

If I saw the sun I'd cry

If I saw a dandelion I'd make a wish

If I saw a sunflower.

I think I'd be frozen;

In hurt, In discomfort,

in these stomach pains I am cursed with

All the while

Wanting to punch him,

Wishing apon a shooting star,

While he was falling from the

Heavens, a mess, losing all he ever

Knew

But you made a wish on that shooting star

Knowing no better he granted it.

Make a wish on a shooting star

Disregard why he is falling

What happened to him to make him

Plummet

To

The

Earth

Go ahead, make your wish

The star, in all his

Hurt, and anger, might

Be foolish enough to grant it.

Original caption:

"Go on. Make your wish. Take that star for granted."

Originally written on 04/21/23.

This is about the guy from the last poem, the one who was shitty to me, which is why it got a rewrite. Pro tip, don't become friends with someone if the purpose of the friendship to them is to hook up with you. Any future poem referencing a sunflower is him btw unless other noted. (Hes well outta my life so thats good!)

[agaymerfry-writing]

I'm sorry

That you feel in love with me

That I'm a bad person

That you have to deal with me

That I'm numb or sad most of the time

That I don't know what it's like to experience joy

That all I feel is emptiness

Numbness

I can't feel anything else

How am I supposed to love

When I can not feel it, or anything

I thought I was a good person

Someone capable of loving

Someone who could love others

little more little less than two years pass

I fall out of love

It's happened twice, maybe three times the third shortened

Because of neglect?

Is it because I push people away?

Do I make myself so unlovable that they pull away?

Do my partners hate me, but can't bring themselves to

break up with me, so they shove me to the side?

They seem to care when I break it off.

Have they always cared?

Was this, losing our connection in that

special way what it took for them to care?

Or is it me?

is it that I can't love like how I should?

Do I fake it? How would I know?

What is it like to fall in love?

Have I experienced that?

Is it real?

Why, how can humans love so deeply

And care for another soul so much?

And call it love?

Does it require you to love yourself first?

To be comfortable with your body and mind

Before you can love another?

Will I be forever in this cycle of not knowing how to love?

If I even do so at all?

I thought I used to be able to love.

I thought I was able to have a genuine connection with people.

But as time passes.

I feel I am the problem

I jump from person to person

Looking for love

Not allowing myself to heal,

Or so I've been told.

What did I do

What actions did I take

To get to the point of becoming neglected

Because after the neglect

I start to spiral

And everything falls apart

Maybe it was already falling apart from the start.

Who knows

I just want to love

I want to experience love

I want to be able to love

I want to love without being punished for it

I think I'm broken

I feel numb

How do I love?

How do I love?

How do I stop being neglected?

How do I stop being unlovable? No

I don't think I am

Unlovable that is

I am capable of love, I show that all the time

I am a lover of things, friends and family, art and creations.

I love people, maybe too much sometimes, but I am capable of it

I am loveable. I can be loved.

Caption on the original video: "My brain thinks to much. My heart holds to much. So I write to cope. I want to believe I am capable of feeling love. I just dont think I know what it is."

Written and posted to tiktok on 03/05/23 (March 5th)

This poem probably has the most drastic cut, as the last section of is has been removed based on current information (meaning that the person it was written about was actually really shitty to me). The section in blue (not the title) is new, to reflect my new self love journey that slowly but surly I am taking. Know dear reader, you are loved and you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. Don't let others define your value.

[agaymerfry-writing]

Dear Icarus

Among many things, you are a poet.

I know your pen moved for me seasons ago

It was always a treat to hear your words

Even now, you write still, with words for me

I suppose i do as well.

My dear Icarus

Thee loved me to the extent that

Thy became an Icarus

And for that I am sorry.

I burned too brightly

And went out with a bang into heaven

Leaving behind stars,

Make a wish, 11:11

And at my funeral,

I heard your promise.

But my dear Icarus,

Don't give up your wings, dear Icarus

Repair, and fly once more

"Just be more cautious," urges the sun.

Learn the sun's signs

Where you must be to not get burned

But to still feel my warmth

And the sun cried out

"Thank you" For he knew Icarus would fly once more

For he knew he could one day love them again-

Not like how he had before;

But in the way

the sun loves the moon

the hunter loves the stars;

In the way a poet loves their poems

In the way an artist loves his work

In the way friends love.

Caption from the original video: "Thank you" cried the sun. I will continue to watch over you, may the stars do so when I can't. When you see the stars, know you are loved.

Originally written and published on my tiktok on 2/18/23

Small changes like word tense and spelling were made to better reflect the intended message. Pronouns for Icarus were also updated for at the time this was written they were using any pronouns, but have since gone to only they/them.

[agaymerfry-writing]

hey small authors note/update, next three poems are from my backlog, original posted on tiktok

They’ll be the same, and with the original published date for sake of preservation

I hope you all enjoy these next three, I quite like them myself Edit: They are now scheduled to post on 1/15, 1/17, and 1/19.

Edit 2: All backlogs from TikTok are now up

[agaymerfry-writing]

A Simple Storm

I want to come home

But the roads are too slick, it’s unsafe

The winds are too strong,

we are advised to stay indoors.

But I want to come home, so I will do what I must.

Walking to you in furious winds,

mad I dare defy them.

Thunderous rains, splattering loudly on the concrete, surrounding the ground I walk on,

water traveling faster than I can,

but I’ll try to out run it.

I’ll outmaneuver the water coming from above,

I’ll stay strong against the storm, not letting it take me.

Trying to reach your arms before the thunder may rumble,

before lighting may strike me down

So I may hold you during this storm

And let it pass

For all terrible things are not forever

Even if they feel that way

But It hurts,

Each explosion in the sky,

each boom of the unpredictable,

it gets to a point where the thunder may stop

but the sound won’t

The thumping inside your chest is still there

And I wish I was there to help

But it is too unsafe

This weather must past first

But I will help repair any damages when it passes

[agaymerfry-writing]

Fallen Star

When I am alone

I get in this state of mind

Where I believe nothing can harm me

Where I am adored, beloved,

Above all else

A God

A god who is terrified of his actions,

done while he has no regard for them

I am ruler of everything I see

Yet the world is foggy, covered in shame and guilt

I am no god, i did not create this world

The only thing I have created are these words,

These carefully crafted words

Designed to distract

You realize it too, don’t you dear reader?

What, surprised I know you’re there?

I am a god after all,

Yet that is just another lie

I can not know if you are there

I can only hope that another voiceless soul doesn’t see these words and feels recognized,

for being a false god

Is the worst thing I can imagine

And now, dear reader, is my fall

The fall from the heavens

Unlike the graceful and beautiful fall of Icarus,

who just was just a child,

too ambitious, too courageous,

No, this fall is that of a star, Lucifer,

Someone who was forcefully cast out,

Abandon from all he knew,

All for being ambitious

All for trying what he thought to be good

Am I Lucifer?

We are both falling stars, cast out from heaven

Will it stay that way?

Will I forever be shackled to be my own Hell?

That, dear reader, I do not know

But every first morning light, I am hopeful

Not that I may get back into heaven,

But that I may not be condemned to hell.

[agaymerfry-writing]

Peach

I’ve always been tied to that fruit

It was, still is really, one of my favorites

It’s simple, it has a nice flavor, not too sweet

It’s reliant, not changing based on what’s picked, unlike an apple

It’s soft though, it bruises easy

But that softness makes it all the more enjoyable to eat

I still enjoy peaches

Back in grade school,

I’d always get a fruit cup at lunch,

the ones with cubes of peach and pears

and if you were lucky, half a cherry

I always picked around the pear,

but I loved the peach.

It was always sweet, and was so effortless to eat

I still enjoy peaches

In high school, I moved to jarred peaches.

A bit healthier,

still with a sugary fruit juice syrup though.

These peaches were sliced,

and tasted wrong if too many were ate in one sitting.

I still enjoy peaches

Summer of 2020, COVID,

spring semester of sophomore year

Something happened.

No longer were peaches just a fruit,

but I was now held in regards to one,

Not the fruit by itself, but as a scone

Something meant to be savored more than the fruit, sweeter than it even, but harder to chew, if made wrong, dry even.

I still enjoy peaches

College. Fall semester, I stopped eating fruit.

I just didn’t have the time, constantly working, constantly under pressure to preform.

I still had the flavor of peach though,

in Sunkist, in Red Bull, in candy

I still enjoy peaches

Spring semester, it happened again

Peaches no longer were just a fruit

I was yet again being someone’s peach scone

The kicker though,

was this time it was by a fellow peach

I don’t know if kind or sweet are the words I would use now but it’s what I used then.

So it is what I will use now.

The peach was sweet, and kind, and bruised easy. A bit too ripe, but it was flavorful.

But it rotted quickly.

The fuzzy skin turned grey, it was extremely fragile.

I still enjoyed peaches