Exceptional-- Penemily
Request: āiām proud of youā with penemily @eviegreene for emily prentiss birthday bingo!!
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: mentions of food. mentions of low self worth. tooth-rotting fluff and reassurance.
AO3
Emily Prentiss was many things but exceptional had never been one of them. To her mother she was incredibly boorish with her dyed-dark hair and thick eyeliner, choosing police work instead of policy just to spite the diplomacy she had been born into. Her friends all thought she was notably entertaining as she did everything asked of her in a desperate attempt to maybe, just this once, be worthy of a friend that lasted longer than her motherās tenure. The church made it abundantly clear that Emily was extraordinarily immoral as she walked to the very first row in the chapel that fateful Sunday as she wore a maxi pad reminiscent in shape of a diaper as the remnant of her desperation for acceptance leaked into her DuckTales briefs.
In college, Emily passed her classes with ease but couldnāt be bothered to put in the effort to be the straight-A student that she knew she was capable of being. What does it even matter if you know that no one is watching? Cās get degrees and getting straight Bās was more than enough for her own personal pat on the back. Recruited straight into the FBI after college, Emily bounced around assignments until she was considered for a transfer to the CIA. Her heart soared at the prospect that maybe this once she was being recognized for all of her hard work. Once she finished her undercover operatives training and was presented with a case file filled with ex-lovers of her target that looked exactly like her, Emily couldnāt help the distaste that filled her mouth as she realized that her good merit had nothing to do with her new position.
After Doyle, Emily floundered for two years, choosing to go back to school and get a graduate degree in general psychology as part of her mandatory recovery from such an intensive mission. The program itself was impressive, one of the only of its kind that adequately prepared for further study in any derivative of psychology. Emily actually enjoyed her coursework and found herself easily dedicating the time to getting top grades but with all of her colleagues viciously vying for a spot in the universityās competitive doctoral programs in psychology, she got lost among the masses of students doing award-winning research, securing national grants, and spending hours pestering the faculty to make sure that their name would be recognized next admissions season.
Emily Prentiss was many things but exceptional still wasnāt one of them.
To say her welcome to the BAU was warm would be nothing but completely deceitful. She had, once again, been chosen not through her own merit but in the interest of being used as a pawn in a political game she never consented to play. Erin Strauss wanted dirt on Aaron Hotchner to make sure he couldnāt threaten her throne and it seemed like everyone knew it except Emily until it was too late. Hotch made it known under no uncertain terms that she was not welcome on his team and that she was not to be trusted. Gideon was crass and Reid extraordinarily rude as she feebly attempted to make nice with the people who had the most pull in securing her position on the team she had so desperately wanted membership upon for as long as her credentials said Supervisory Special Agent.
She was exhausted.
What Emily didnāt notice, however, was the way that a certain blonde smirked at her in delight as she quickly and accurately translated a document from Arabic to English without a second thought. Penelopeās lip curled and eyebrow raised as she watched in awe of the magnificent woman. When she tells this story, she makes it exceedingly obvious that she had been taken by Emily Prentiss from the moment they were introduced and that Emily was then and had continued to be the most impressively enchanting woman she had ever had the pleasure of meeting.
As the days turned into months, Emilyās shell started to crack. She admitted to Derek that she had once again flubbed on a date, though her protective casing kept a secret the fact that her date had been a woman. JJ had convinced her to girlsā night at the bar and she brought them the best entertainment the local dive bar could offer: the public embarrassment of an arrogant man. Penelope didnāt say it then but she had been utterly shocked that when Emily came back with a man on her arm it was not intending to impress him but to showcase some of that spunk simmering under her surface that had been screaming to be set free for decades. If Emily accidentally let it slip that night that Brad had absolutely no redeeming qualities, punctuated with a scrunch of her nose when JJ mentioned the possibility of him maybe being good in bed, the youngest woman was none the wiser.
But Penelope noticed, like she always had, that this was yet again just another quality that made one Emily Prentiss so incredibly easy to love.
It wasnāt long after that that Penelope convinced Emily to go on a date. For weeks the two women had been spending time together alone, without the company or Reid or JJ. The blonde was fastidious with cataloging everything she learned with each adventure, especially those designed by the enigma herself. Following the carefully curated list of instructions Penelope had made for herself, she went out of her way to make sure Emily felt comfortable and wouldnāt for one second equate the experience to a tiger trapped in a cage. Chocolate and lasagna, two of Emilyās favorites, were dutifully packed in a wicker picnic basket along with a red gingham blanket and a citronella candle to keep the waterside mosquitoes at bay as the two women lounged near the Potomac, under a walnut tree.
āI canāt believe I have lived here for a year already,ā Emily said as she forked some pasta and gracelessly shoved it in her mouth. That may just have been Penelopeās favorite part of the entire experience, seeing Emilyās walls come down so far that she had forgotten all of the etiquette drilled into her brain from a young age.
āWhere did you live before?ā Penelope asked as she started to uncork a second miniature bottle of wine for the two women to split. The question was genuine, the answer unknown to the technical analyst who vowed from that very first day in the conference room that every single piece of information she learned about Emily Prentiss would come from her own lips.
āUh, well, I split my time between New York and Virginia for about two years,ā Emily responded as she frustratedly tried to use her plastic fork to cut through a particularly crunchy noodle that may have been a tiny bit burnt from the edge of a baking dish well past due for retirement.
āOh, New York! I love New York, Iāve always wanted to go. What were you doing up there?ā
āI was getting my Masterās in Psychology in hopes of bettering my application for entrance to the BAU,ā Emily said, setting the now-made-enemy lasagna on the blanket and reaching for the second piece of garlic bread. āNot that it mattered much anyway.ā
Emily's last sentence was muttered under her breath like a secret Penelope shouldnāt have been told. But as with every single shred that Emily had shared with her, Penelope caught it and had to decide what to do with the information.
āWhat do you mean it didnāt matter?ā Penelope asked as she reached her manicured fingers to touch the exposed skin of Emilyās forearm.
Emily scoffed and leaned back on her hands, tilting her head uncomfortably to the sky, her long, dark hair cascading down her back as she showcased her neck for Penelope. Her eyes darted from cloud to cloud and she licked her lips as she thought about how to respond.
āYou know as well as I do, and the rest of the team for that matter, that I was only brought into the BAU so that Strauss could exploit me for information on Hotch. Nothing I did or accomplished had any bearing on getting onto the team. All that mattered was that I am a Prentiss, I was interested, and I was raised to be politically passive and to not ask questions.ā
Emily tilted her head back into a natural position and tried to blink away the dark spots burnt into her vision from looking a little too closely at the sun. She eyed the garlic bread in her lap as if she wasnāt the one to put it there in her show of theatrics and was about to bring it to her mouth when Penelope did something no one had ever done before.
āIām proud of you, you know?ā Penelope said simply before bringing her wine to her lips.
Emily froze on the spot, teeth not quite clenching the food as she felt a strange stirring in her chest. Slowly and carefully, Emily pulled her hand back to her lap, forgetting its previous job of keeping her nourished as it began to twiddle anxiously with the fingers of its pair.
āHow?ā
The response was broken and small after nearly two minutes of silence between the women. Penelope frowned and quirked her head. Of all the responses she had anticipated, this had not been one of them. As she flicked through the Rolodex in her mind of Emily Prentiss fact-cards, almost none of them included keywords: doesnāt receive praise.
āEmily, youāre absolutely incredible, how could I not be?ā Penelope said as she inched closer and placed a hand on Emilyās back, starting to rub circles into the fabric of her sweater that had been rolled up to her elbows.
āThere is no reason to be proud of me, Pen,ā Emily said, fighting against tears threatening to glisten in her eyes. āI still canāt believe Hotch didnāt just let me resign and move onto the next mediocre way to pass my time.ā
āEmily Prentiss!ā Penelope gasped, using a finger to tilt Emilyās head in her direction. āThere are only about a million and one reasons to be proud of you!ā
Though her face was still aimed towards Penelope, Emily looked down to the ground, her eyelashes nearly touching her cheeks.
āEmily, baby, look at me,ā Penelope said with a gentle tone. Emily sniffled though no tears were anywhere close to falling from her eyes. She lifted her gaze and Penelope could see the pink irritation at the corners that was threatening to completely shatter the brave face that had been sewn into Emilyās skin for as long as she could remember.
āYou, my love, are absolutely extraordinary. I know you canāt see it and I understand why, but you are such an asset to our team. On your very first day on the job, you were able to provide us with something no one else in the room was capable of. Youāve tracked down unsubs and even put yourself in danger while looking Strauss in the eye just to save a woman, not because it was your job. Hell, at the time it wasnāt your job, you were a civilian!ā
Emily blushed and looked down, snorting a little at the comment about Strauss.
āAnd thatās just barely the icing on the cake, sweet girl,ā Penelope continued.
Emily looked up, shock written all over her face.
āYou slink around in the shadows, keeping to yourself and staying mostly quiet but I see you. And I always have. I notice when you beat Reid at chess or poker. I notice when you can make Derek admit that heās wrong. I notice when you hold JJās hair back as she pukes in a bar bathroom or hug her until she stops crying over the latest boy who has broken her heart. You speak several languages, youāve lived all over the globe, and youāve managed to become one of the most beloved people in not only my life but in all of our lives.
āYou, Emily Prentiss, are kind. You are spunky and so incredibly intelligent. And not to mention talented. I hear you when you sing in the shower and I have seen the art hanging in the foyer with a tiny little EP etched into the corner. You take absolutely no shit but you spend every waking moment making sure that everyone in your life feels seen and heard even though you wonāt afford that luxury to yourself.
āThere is a little kitty collar sitting in your closet that has been well worn and the name Ferguson etched into a golden heart and an address written in Italian. Every time we get home from a case, there has been a message on your machine from a sweet little boy and you always give him a call back but only when you think JJ and I arenāt listening. The diplomas framed in your office are from some of the nationās top colleges. I donāt know your whole story, Emily, but I donāt need to. I already know that youāre ten times the woman anyone could ever dream of being.
āHow can I be proud of you, Emily Prentiss? You really want to know how? I can be proud of you, my darling, sweet, beautiful girl because you are exceptional. And you always have been.ā
As Penelope spoke, Emilyās face morphed from shock to disbelief to utter adoration. A lone tear tracked down her cheeks as she flung herself into Penelopeās arms so that she could feel on her skin the warmth that was blossoming in her chest at the words she had so desperately wanted to hear for her entire life. The embrace was long, longer than any hug Emily had ever given in her life.
When she pulled back, all Emily could do was smile down at Penelope who had at some point shifted Emilyās hips so that she could comfortably collapse into the blondeās lap.
āNo one has ever seen me before,ā Emily said, an uncharacteristic display of vulnerability shocking both herself and Penelope.
āI have. And I always will, so long as youāll let me. Even if I need to break out my flashlight and go crawling deep into a tunnel youāve never let someone down before. I will always see everything you show to me and I promise I will always love every second of it.ā
Emily, without hesitation, pressed her lips to Penelopeās in their very first kiss. It was fruity like wine but tinged with Italian spices from their dinner and the faint remnants of the vanilla beeswax lip balm that Emily carried with her everywhere she went. The women had conveyed their love before, back when they were just friends. And though it would be many months before either dared say the words out loud, in this first kiss alone they told each other everything they needed to know.
Youāre worthy. Youāre enough. I will never tire of you. I see you. I hear you. I want you. I love you.
taglist: @morcias // @demisicle // @prentisspoppet // @ssajemilyprentiss tiss // @alexbllake // @agcntemily // @sapphicalexblake // @imjustreallyanxious // @illbeyourgg // @5raysofsunshine // @sapphic-stress // @iminluvwithpenemily // @simmonsmilf // @captainchilly // @storiesofsvu
