agent lisbon

ind. priv. && selective teresa lisbon from the mentalist

[agcntlisbon-blog]

just a heads up that i moved teresa to my multimuse blog

[agcntlisbon-blog]

surviivorx ;;

▒ @agcntlisbon​ || MOTHER’S DAY

❝ WHO   is the best daughter in the world?   Here to give the best   MOTHER   in the world a mother’s day what any other mother would be so…   so jealous of? ❞   She came rolling up to Lisbon’s desk in the spare swivel chair.   Curled in her bunny onesie.   With a broad impish smile adhered to lips, excitement too much to contain.   Like a   FIRECRACKER   with its secrets of sparks.

Charlotte and Patrick had been scheming this for a few weeks now, the day was neither too much nor too little.   Abbott had eagerly agreed to the   IDEA   and allowed for Charlotte to steal her mother away for the day.   ❝ It’s mommy’s day,   and officially, you are my mother.   C’mon, Abbott gave the green light.   Not that we needed it anyway. ❞

She outstretched her hands, beckoning for Lisbon to abandon the desk and   GRAB   them.   ❝ I promise you’ll have fun! ❞

Teresa could hear Charlotte before she could see her, the rolling of the swivel chair’s wheels against the floor was enough to have her smirking, but the sight of the young woman in her bunny onesie made her laugh. “Best daughter in the world, yes. Best mother in the world? To borrow a word from you and your father-- eeeh.” She was mostly teasing, of course. Recently, she’d felt more confident in her mothering abilities, though she still had her moments.

Arching a brow, she considered Charlotte’s words and figured she did have a point, she had legally adopted Charlotte which made her a mother in a way.

Pushing away from her desk, she took Charlotte’s hands and pursed her lips as she stood, letting out a sigh as Emily (they’d finally chosen a name for the baby just days before) decided to do a little tap-dance on her bladder. “Alright, okay, just... be gentle with me.” Teresa chuckled quietly, squeezing the blonde’s hand. “I want to ask what exactly you have in mind, but I know you won’t tell me. Just as long as it’s not a lot of walking and promise there will be plenty of time for potty breaks just in case your sister decides to make this harder on me.”

[agcntlisbon-blog]

‘ i only tell the truth when it makes me sound like i’m lying. ’

@surviivorx​ ;; parks and rec

“It’s amazing,” Teresa started, dropping her purse and the case file on her desk before looking over at Charlotte, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. “You do this trick where you open your mouth and your dad’s words come out. What’s so wrong with telling the truth when it makes you look honest?” 

[agcntlisbon-blog]

“i woke up, & you were gone.”

@surviivorx ;; hurt meme

The tone coming from the small child on the couch in her office was enough to make her feel guilty for leaving her alone-- even if just for a moment. “I’m sorry-- I’m right here, Charlotte, it’s alright.” Her dad was out doing... whatever it was Jane did sometimes, Teresa didn’t really ask because she wasn’t always sure she wanted to know. “I was getting myself coffee, and I brought you what was left of Rigsby’s french fries-- but don’t tell him it was me, we’ll blame Cho.” Teresa murmured, winking at her with the hopes of lightening the mood.

[agcntlisbon-blog]

‘ i can’t go because i don’t want to. ’

@surviivorx​ ;; parks and rec

“That’s nice-- you’re going.” Teresa said, sitting down on the stoop beside Charlotte, handing her a cup of tea and smiling. “Why don’t you want to go, it’ll be fun! A chance to get away, we’ll all turn off our phones, it’ll be great.” She insisted, brows knitting together as she wondered why Charlotte wouldn’t want to go-- unless she wasn’t being serious, but it was difficult for her to tell at times when that was happening.

[dailylittleliars]

[psychicsass-archive-deactivated]

@agcntlisbon

[agcntlisbon-blog]

‘ i’m just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross. ’

@surviivorx ;; parks and rec

At first, Teresa opened her mouth as if to respond, but then she thought better of it, sipping from her coffee cup instead to give herself a moment to turn Charlotte’s comment over in her mind. “I don’t know that bridge troll is the most lucrative business right now.” She started before setting her cup down on the counter and looking over at Charlotte with a small smile. “But hey, if being a bridge troll is your dream, kid, then go for it. I won’t stop you from living out your dreams.” Teresa teased, tapping her fingers against the counter with a small smile.

[sandcvstles]

hurt meme.

“ i got you. it’s gonna be okay, you’re going to be okay.”

“i feel like everyone’s miles away from me.”

“my mind is a dark place. you don’t want to be there.”

“i know this hurts, but you have to stay awake.”

“don’t close your eyes, please don’t close your eyes!”

“i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”

“please don’t do this, don’t act like you care.”

“you don’t care, nobody cares, just leave.”

“you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.”

“i can’t give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself.”

“i love you so much, i forgot what hating myself felt like.”

“i fucked up, why do you not care?”

“i can’t walk, just go on without me.”

“you have broken ribs, take it easy.”

“i have no idea how to do cpr.”

“whose blood is that?”

“apply pressure to the wound, don’t let go.”

“don’t you dare fucking let go!” 

“what the hell happened to you?” 

“are they dead? did you kill them?” 

“do you know what you’ve done?” 

“you’re either with me or against me.” 

“who the hell did this to you?” 

“are you alright? you hit your head pretty hard…” 

“i can’t see!! what’s happening to me?” 

“when was the last time you ate?” 

“what do you mean you’re fine? you are not fine!” 

 “i’m fine, it’s just a flesh wound, i’ll be okay.” 

“for how long? how long were you bottling this up?“ 

“there’s so much blood, you won’t last.” 

“are you… throwing up in there?” 

“why aren’t you eating?” 

“just breathe… you’re okay, i promise, just breathe.” 

“i can’t breathe, i can’t –” 

“i woke up, & you were gone.” 

“just tell me something, was it really worth it?” 

“it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

[littlelovelymemes]

✰  —  —  *  PARKS & RECREATION SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  i tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and i broke everything.  ’ ‘  i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.  ’ ‘  there’s only one thing i hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.  ’ ‘  don’t be such a baby. i cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.  ’ ‘  i really only listen to german death reggae and halloween sound effects records from the 1950s.  ’ ‘  whenever she asks me for the latin names of any of our plants, i just give her the names of rappers.  ’ ‘  i once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.  ’ ‘  i didn’t actually sell my last car, i just forgot where i parked it.  ’ ‘  i don’t know who al gore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask.  ’ ‘  when they say 2% milk, i don’t know what they other 98% is.  ’ ‘  i’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so i’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  ’ ‘  upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me.  ’ ‘  since i am not a rabbit, no, i do not want a salad.  ’ ‘  you’re like an angel with no wings.  ’ ‘  oh my god you have to stop using the word ‘nipple.’  ’ ‘  you’re right, i know. i have to be a grown up… but it’s so hard!  ’ ‘  i was reading an encyclopedia and i tripped or ‘fell over’ and hit my head. or ‘brain helmet.’  ’ ‘  oh my god, your boobs are dead.  ’ ‘  i have a medical condition, alright! it’s called caring too much and it’s incurable!  ’ ‘  he put all my records into this rectangle! the songs just play one right after the other! this is an excellent rectangle!  ’ ‘  if i keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, i will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.  ’ ‘  guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.  ’ ‘  jogging is the worst. i mean, i know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost?  ’ ‘  i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.  ’ ‘  i know this and i love you.  ’ ‘  that’s too much responsibility. i gotta find a way out of this.  ’ ‘  you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful.  ’ ‘  i was kind of getting sick of listening to them talk about their relationship, but then i remembered that alcohol existed.  ’ ‘  i got stung once and i’m immune. go ahead and sting me, bees! it does nothing!  ’ ‘  i’m not afraid of cops! i have no reason to be. i never break any laws, ever… because i’m deathly afraid of cops.  ’ ‘  i’m fine. it’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and i’m always tired.  ’ ‘  there will be alcohol there, so i will go as well.  ’ ‘  i can’t go because i don’t want to.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna stay angry, i find that relaxes me!  ’ ‘  i don’t want to seem overdramatic, but i don’t really care what happens here.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna leave early and go home.  ’ ‘  if any of you need anything at all, too bad.  ’ ‘  you have never been neutral on anything in your life. you have an opinion on pockets.  ’ ‘  dance up on me!  ’ ‘  i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.  ’ ‘  one time my refrigerator stopped working. i didn’t know what to do. i just moved.  ’ ‘  you’re stupid and you’re drunk and you’re stupid.  ’ ‘  you don’t even know one thing. i didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and i didn’t even do it once.  ’ ‘  i’m like an elephant, okay? if i walk into a room, it’s like, ‘oh he’s in there.’  ’ ‘  bababooey.  ’ ‘  mac and cheese pizza?! you’re making that?!  ’ ‘  i was dying earlier today. and then i died. now i’m dead.  ’ ‘  the only thing i will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!  ’ ‘  i don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.  ’ ‘  i have been kind of tense lately. just thinking about the new star wars sequel.  ’ ‘  it does look sad. kind of. sorry for stepping on you, floor.  ’ ‘  if you rearrange the letters of peru, you can spell europe.  ’ ‘  you’re as guilty as you are sexy.  ’ ‘  this maze is like a maze.  ’ ‘  sometimes when i blow my nose, i get a boner. i don’t know why. it just happens.  ’ ‘  so i feel like you were mad at me yesterday and i don’t know why so i made a list of everything i did and i’m gonna try not to do any of them again.  ’ ‘  no, i’m not crying, okay? i’m allergic to jerks!  ’ ‘  i don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are… actually, it’s going to bug me if i don’t.  ’ ‘  with all due respect, you’re a major dick.  ’ ‘  the calzones… betrayed me?  ’ ‘  who hasn’t had gay thoughts?  ’ ‘  do you think a depressed person could make this? no!  ’ ‘  i like your energy. what do you say you and i ride go-karts later?  ’ ‘  three words: treat. yo. self.  ’ ‘  treat yo self. it’s the best day of the year!  ’ ‘  i’ll tell you what. here’s the deal. if you get fired, i’ll quit, and we’ll leave together. i’m serious! move to a new city, change our names… burn our fingertips off with acid… swap faces… if we have to.  ’ ‘  monsters don’t have souls? uh, have you seen monsters inc?  ’ ‘  i make my money the old fashioned way: i got run over by a lexus.  ’ ‘  i took this thing called ‘zapvigil’ which apparently is what israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake so… right now it looks like i’m talking to a giant crab. stay away from me crab!  ’ ‘  well, you suck at being polite, sir.  ’ ‘  at one point, for no reason, i just took off my shoes and held them in my hand.  ’ ‘  three, two, one, and my shift’s over… what the fuck is your problem?!  ’ ‘  math is worthless in real life. i mean, there’s an app for calculating tips. that’s all you need.  ’ ‘  your house isn’t haunted, you’re lonely.  ’ ‘  just because i can’t go out with him, someone else can? wow.  ’ ‘  oh, this is bad. i should not have done this.  ’ ‘  she’s the worst person i’ve ever met. i want to travel the world with her.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no. i’m not lonely. i have me.  ’ ‘  i love watching russian traffic accidents on youtube while i play children’s music at the wrong rpm.  ’ ‘  god, i am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that.  ’ ‘  you beautiful, rule-breaking moth.  ’ ‘  you beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby.  ’ ‘  you beautiful tropical fish.  ’ ‘  hope no one minds if i livetweet this bitch!  ’ ‘  i just want to hear the doctor say that he had a fart attack. is that too much to ask?  ’ ‘  the only things i like are dogs and sleeping late.  ’ ‘  it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t.  ’ ‘  i don’t want anything. i just want to hang out with you.  ’ ‘  you’ve killed my spirit. my spirit’s blood is on your hands.  ’ ‘  i hate people.  ’ ‘  you can see the stars, which i hate. they’re creepy.  ’ ‘  i will kill you slowly with a giant syringe.  ’ ‘  what? i love garbage.  ’ ‘  i only tell the truth when it makes me sound like i’m lying.  ’ ‘  i want to be burned at the stake.  ’ ‘  i’m going to murder you a thousand times.  ’ ‘  people who buy things are suckers.  ’ ‘  this is 100% certified for realskis.  ’ ‘  well, if there’s anyone who can bring my parents together, it’s no one. no one can ever bring them together.  ’ ‘  getting married is the bravest, most wonderful thing you can do because every day you come home and you’re just like, ‘what? it’s you! i love you! you’re my sexy roommate. we love each other.’  ’ ‘  i am 100% certain that i am 0% sure of what i’m going to do.  ’ ‘  my anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.  ’ ‘  maybe we should find the person who stole your positive attitude.  ’ ‘  scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. i believe i am that human being.  ’ ‘  messy is fun, okay? my whole life is a giant mess and i love it.  ’ ‘  friendship is better because friends help you move. they drive you to the airport. boyfriends just… love you and marry you.  ’ ‘  i hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears.  ’ ‘  everything hurts and i’m dying.  ’ ‘  i need you to text me every 30 seconds saying everything’s gonna be okay.  ’ ‘  let me just say, from the bottom of my heart: my bad.  ’ ‘  there are no consequences to my actions anymore. i’m like a white, male u.s. senator.  ’ ‘  hey, are you busy? and writing star trek fan fiction does not count.  ’ ‘  what do we…? like, what do we do? like, what do we do? um, how- how do we- how…? how… how… how? what do we do?!  ’ ‘  oh, also, i have a little secret… i’m drunk.  ’ ‘  i do say the cutest stuff.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to cause a panic… news flash: we’re screwed!  ’ ‘  velvet slippies, cashmere socks, velvet pants, cashmere turtle. i’m a cashmere-velvet candy cane.  ’ ‘  you shut your mouth! you have all the strengths!  ’ ‘  never half-ass two things. whole-ass one thing.  ’ ‘  i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.  ’ ‘  i guess i kind of hate most things, but i never really seem to hate you.  ’ ‘  time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. let’s go!  ’ ‘  i have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i’m doing it really, really well.  ’ ‘  ovaries before brovaries.  ’ ‘  sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.  ’ ‘  i have never taken the high road, but i tell people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.  ’ ‘  just remember, every time you look up at the moon, i, too, will be looking at a moon. not the same moon, obviously. that’s impossible.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.  ’ ‘  i love games that turn people against each other.  ’ ‘  i don’t care about that prize, but i’m gonna win because i want his happiness to go away.  ’ ‘  that is the coolest sentence i have ever heard somebody talk.  ’ ‘  i wanted to make fun of stupid people while i get drunk. my two true passions.  ’ ‘  i am big enough to admit that i am often inspired by myself.  ’ ‘  if i could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, i would.  ’

[agcntlisbon-blog]

surviivorx ;;

CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR.   LIZZIE BORDEN AND HER GIRLFRIEND DID IT.   AND JACK THE RIPPER IS TOTALLY SOLVABLE.   WE’RE JUST NOT DONE YET.

PLEASE JUST CLEAN UP MY LIVING ROOM???? 

[agcntlisbon-blog]

surviivorx ;;

@agcntlisbon replied to your post:

TERESA COMES HOME TO POST-ITS AND A WHITEBOARD AND IS LIKE ’….. GDI I CAN’T LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR TEN MINUTES’

LISTEN.   MOM.   THESE CASES NEED TO BE SOLVED.

LIZZIE BORDEN DID IT, AND JACK THE RIPPER IS UNSOLVABLE. NOW CLEAN UP MY LIVING ROOM. PLEASE.

[agcntlisbon-blog]

surviivorx ;;

[ msg  ::  the mom ]   hey it’s never too late to start the “sharing is caring” lectures

[ msg  ::  the mom ]   even way before birth

[ msg  ::  the mom ]   I’ll just get 3 boxes!!! one for each us, problem solved

[ msg  ::  the mom ]   wow I am such a genius sometimes I blow myself away, I’m so amazing

[ msg: Charlotte ] I don’t know that ‘sharing is caring’ extends to a fetus... [ msg: Charlotte ] See, good idea ;) [ msg: Charlotte ] Unless, of course, we just wind up splitting the third box between us before your dad even gets home...

[agcntlisbon-blog]

“I’d be more excited to get shot in the neck… from close range.”

@surviivorx ;; vine meme ( accepting! )

Teresa rolled her eyes before looking over at Charlotte, arms crossed over her chest. “Don’t be so dramatic. Listen, you want to start up this project, there’s flaming hoops that you have to jump through first.” She said, nudging the blonde gently as a smile tugged at her lips. “It’s a good idea, Charlotte, it really is. We need some kind of center for kids, and I have all the confidence in the world that this will get cleared by everyone who needs to sign off on it. Trust me.” 

And no matter what, she’d be there with her every step of the way-- letting Charlotte take the reins, of course, but one step behind just in case help was needed.

[rpmemes-galore]

Vines that make me laugh  {Sentence Starters}

“I can’t swim.”

“That’s why you’re my bud.”

“No, ‘cause I’m not a quitter.”

“The gates of Hell await you.”

“‘Pretty cute’? I’m a GODDESS.”

“You try’na fight? Hold my breadsticks!”

“Stop, I could’ve dropped my croissant!”

“Who opened that? Devil car! DEVIL CAR!”

“I burnt my entire house to the ground, so…”

“I didn’t do the diet, I just got better friends.”

“I look good in black and I’m willing to suffer.”

“This is the dollar store, how good could it be?”

“I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger.”

“I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets.”

“My resting heart rate registers as a panic attack.”

“I’m an adult. I do grownup things. Independence.”

“I thought you were bae… turns out you’re just fam.”

“How can I remember that, but not a math formula?”

“I ate half a stick of butter… for breakfast. So, it’s pretty bad.”

“I’d be more excited to get shot in the neck… from close range.”

“Can you not? I don’t need to be thinking about that, thank you.”

“My liver says ‘Thank God’, but my heart says ‘please… not yet’.”

“All these ghosts, ALL these ghosts… and I still can’t find a boo. “

“Time to break out my Christmas tree that rotates like a rotisserie chicken.”

“Ask me what kind of tree I have. Just ask me what kind of tr—- It’s a Chris Pine.”

“I’m not a cake face. I’m an ice cream cake face. Under this thick cosmetic frosting, is my cold interior.”

[theofficeedit]

Not enough for me? You are everything.

[purplelephantsarewrong]

You made me whole again.

[agcntlisbon-blog]

cbipsychic ;;

‘  ARGUING  isn’t  going  to  help  you  lisbon . ’  he  told  her  brightly  as  he  steered  her  up  towards  the  attic  .  she  didn’t  like  to  show  much  weakness  ,  &&  in  fact  she  tried  keeping  it  squashed  down  &&  hidden  from  everyone  .  he  saw  right  through  it .  after  all  ,  she  wasn’t  GOOD  at  it  .  she  liked  to  think  she  was  .  she  wasn’t  .  he  smirked  slightly  as  she  boasted  about  how  proud  she  was  about  handling  him  &&  he  shook  his  head  .  he  supposed  that  was  something  to  be  proud  of  .  he  knew  very  few  people  who  could  control  his  eccentricities  .  ‘  you  are  too  SHORT  .  but  that’s  not  the  reason  i  respect  you  .  ’  he  told  her  as  her  movements  became  slow  &&  deliberate  .  as  hopefully  not  to  fall  sick  from  just  moving  .

he  did  what  she  asked  .  moving  slowly  up  the  stairs  ,  guiding  her  towards  his  attic  ,  where  he  WONDERED  how  quickly  he  could  tidy  the  scattered  documents  on  his  mattress  .  her  quick  grab  of  his  suit  jacket  caused  him  to  raise  his  eyebrows  in  alarm  ,  but  she  seemed  not  to  be  overtaken  by  dizziness  too  much  .  

‘  well  cho  has  had  EXCELLENT  practice  in  dealing  with  double  homicides  .  ’  jane  said  lightly  .  ‘  so  don’t  worry  about  that  .  &&  if  they  can’t  handle  one  case  without  you  for  several  hours  then  i  worry  greatly  for  their  careers  .  ’  he  rolled  his  shoulders  slightly  as  they  reached  his  attic  door  then  leaned  forward  ,  lisbon  still  keeping  a  tight  grip  of  his  jacket  as  he  slid  the  door  open  .  guiding  her  inside  the  room  &&  towards  his  mattress  where  he  shuffled  all  his  files  &&  books  to  one  side  .

“When has arguing ever helped when it comes to you?” She asked, her own voice quiet and a little miserable, a mirror opposite of Jane’s own rather cheery voice. Arguing with him often felt like talking to a brick wall, and she wasn’t in the mood for that right now-- not with the way her head was already aching. Still, a quiet laugh escaped and she leaned against him a bit more as he guided her up the stairs to the attic room. “Funny, for how much you go against me, I didn’t realize respect was so high up on your list.”

It was supposed to be a tease, and she hoped it sounded like one, but there was some part of her that meant it. It felt like she told Jane no more than she did anything else, spet more than half of her time trying to wrangle him away from doing stupid things and chasing leads without backup or evidence. Despite all that, though, she couldn’t deny that he did a good job of being right. At least, most of the time he was, and she was glad that he was on thier team, working to close cases. He claimed not to care quite as much as the rest of them did, but deep down, she knew he did. How could he not?

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes once they reached the top of the stairs, she fought off another wave of dizziness, her hand still clutching at his jacket. “So you’re saying that you think they don’t need me? I’m hurt.” She teased, swallowing thickly and knowing that wasn’t at all what he meant. Once the files and books had been moved, she made to sit at the edge, but gave in to the need to lie down a minute. “I would have been fine on the couch, you know.You didn’t have to bring me up here.”