Favorite Coping Mechanism

Try not to be parasocial, that's mean.

[aged-envy]

Why do I do the things I do

Me when I wrote a 30,000 word fanfiction but then decided to make a main character trans. so now I have to change every time I gender. So I don't miss-gender them. While desperately hoping I don't forget one and accidentally make a character Transphobic. or come off as if i'm transphobic

but I have to keep reminding myself that it'll be worth it because I can't have the majority of my ships be straight. I crave the Yuri and it gives HER more dimension. Along with all the story lines I can add with this being a thing.

[aged-envy]

<p> </p>

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the AO3 codes line things make perfect eyes. they really just stare into your soul don't they

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{====} <------ I gave this one a hat

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<p> </p>

O

[aged-envy]

Writing tips

the biggest misconception when writing is the idea that you have to write it from the beginning to the end in order. it makes sense that we assume that because that's how we read but that's now how you have to write. you can, plenty of good books are made that way but you don't have to.

obviously you start with the concept and plot points. stuff like what's the point of your story? what type of message are you trying to convey. along with what you character motivations and bonds are.

then write a time/plot line for your story like this

just write small sentences for each plot point to remind you of what you want to happen. then fully write out the interaction whenever you want. I notice when i'm writing that I know what I want to write but my brain is s full of ideas I don't know where to start. this helps me stay organized and get my thoughts down. So they aren't just a swirling mess in your brain. it also helps let you see if you have plot holes. Or if you are writing yourself in a corner before your too far in to fix it without hours of work. this also helps you know what you're working towards. so you can foreshadow.

i like using good docs so I can use their title/heading system to have my chapters nice and organized. now you can just just go wherever you want in your story and write that interaction.

if you have an especially complicated scene. you can also use the timeline method to make it easier.

if you want to write a scene but you don't know where it belongs yet. just create another heading at the end. it might be cut or added in later.

btw can you tell I went to college and this is how I wrote my notes for school. I might not have gotten the degree but I learned how to organize stuff on Google docs.

[aged-envy]

sasha has BPD

I'm not saying it excuses her behavior but every thing she did can be explained with this diagnosis. if not this one than one close to it.

the symptoms for this include intense mood swings, blinding anger, unstable relationships, fear of abandonment, impulsive behaviors, distorted self image, chronic feelings of emptiness, and self harming tendencies.

She is also at least being emotionally abused. having a past of child abuse is a requirement for this diagnosis because you aren't born with BPD. You're given it by growing up in an unsafe environment. her being told that she's not good enough and that everyone hates her. If they don't now, eventually everyone will. that people just don't know sasha enough to hate her yet. her parents saying stuff like this fucked her up in a way that never allowed her to learn how to properly process emotions.

she doesn't know how to have stable relationships either. Believing it's inevitable for people to hate you can cause bpd people to self sabotage, hurt and push others away. especially when un-diagnosed because they don't understand why they feel like this. they don't know how to practice mindfulness. Which is basically learning how to pause and dissect emotions logically instead of through emotions(I hope this makes sense). it takes a lot to break away from the default though setting. having to constantly stop and ask "wait am I over reacting right now because of a strong emotion? does this person deserve to be treated like this for what they did?"

Theirs also something called switching, that's when someone goes from being your favorite person to your lease favorite. it can happen for small reasons that shouldn't be that big of a deal. Like finding out your friends have a group chat call "not Sarah".

they go from "they can do no wrong" to "they can do no right". if unnoticed/untreated this could cause you to think they dissevers to be punished. then in an impulsive move blinded by anger you flip a switch and get them hurt. she mentioned this during the season 3 finale.

"when i saw that not Sasha group chat, when I realized you were all purposefully leaving me out. it sort of flipped some switch in my brain. because it had proved something that I always thought. that there was just something fundamentally repellent about me."

Someone without BPD, it would still hurt but not nearly as much. nor do they know how to process these emotions. it's also even harder to heal from it when you're still in that environment. they live in an environment where being emotionally vulnerable is used against you. that makes people feel like they have to manipulate things/people to get what they want. Even when in situations where they don't need to. Sasha does this all the time.

[aged-envy]

would I though, I might chicken out

if I got chosen to be a player in the hunger games. I would do one of two things. have the most intense crash out of my life. no one would be able to enjoy any of their content without hearing me throwing a tantrum in the background. Then jump off the podium before the games even starts.

or I would create an extremely interesting, elegant underdog story. get everyone in the capital to like and sponsor me. tell them the start of the juiciest capital and district gossip ever. Never elaborate or reveal who it is but that I plan on revealing the rest during and after the games. for my last act(Literally) i'd 'accidentally' trip and get blown up before the game even starts. so they have to feel the disappointment of not getting the show or gossip they wanted.

my main goal would be to not have a satisfying story. no matter how they try to spin it. popular underdog gossip queen trips and dies before the games start would crush so many people. it might even ruin the entire game.

they'll never know which current contestant is secretly in a Polly relationship involving someone high up in the capital. they met in the woods, they both went there to get some fresh air and to be alone. instead they ended up finding each other. they hated the other but kept going back to the same spot to see them again. Over time they discovered something weird. The other guy was the only one who could calm them down.

One worked high up in the capital so they were scared to admit their feelings. The other one was already in a relationship with someone else. guilt of feeling shame for lying to the other so they started fighting over stupid things. Thankfully they eventually came to their senses and came clean to each other. the weight that lifted of their shoulders when they realized the other didn't care. they just wanted them for them. eventually talking to the district's partner to find they were imminently one board.

[aged-envy]

harry: "can I see the mark"

draco sighs annoyed and roles up his sleeve revealing a fazed light grey not so dark mark

harry takes a sigh of relief "thanks"

Ron: "what was that"

harry: "sometimes I need a reminder that he's gone. it's grey, he's gone"

Ron: "Oi, MALfoy can I see your mark"

Draco: sighs dramatically: "should I just start wearing short sleeves. PPOtTTAAH you prat, stop telling everyone, you've started a trend."

[aged-envy]

hp sorting hat question

so how often do you think a wizard's favorite color comes into play when deciding on their house. I know my favorite color being green definitely came into play with me picking Slytherin.

I was struggling to decide between raven claw and Slythrine. so I took the official hp quiz and got Hufflepuff. that just confused me more so I took more online tests and it showed that I'm really close to all of them. cool, that was no help. so I spent hours researching and compiled my work to a 10 page Google doc. trying to truly understand how each house worked. then realized that's the most ravenclaw and slythrin thing I've ever done. so it's probably one of those still.

out of curiosity I retook the official hp quiz and got Gryffindor. thanks for nothing jkr, your absolutely not help when it comes to clearly defined cannon and lore. this fandom would be no where without the fanon cannon. these houses are so boring without it. Plus fuck that bigot. most of my 'research' was me looking up random characters and finding out what fans think their house is. did you know people fight over weither Nightwing is a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Sythrine. They're such really cool character anayist on the whole bat family. cannon house vs cannon house debates. Nightwing is still the one that's debated the most.

then I thought why not just pick based on my favorite color. that's green so slythrene it is, but I can't help but think that's such a Hufflepuff thing to do. But I hate yellow, no offense to yellow but it's not my color. makes me look weird. so the most huffle puff thing I could do is not be put in Huffle puff. you know like Harry convincing the hat to put him in Gryffindor because he's the boy who lived is the most slythrine thing he could do.

Also Hogwarts houses aren't decided by what you are. they are decided based on what you want to be and I want to be wearing green. I als0 like the sythrin characteristics. damn I just realized me trying to manipulate my way into the house I want with the but it's my favorite color argument. is so slyhrine.

i also feel like me misspelling sythrine wrong 10 different ways gets me disqualified from the raven claw house. (yes i'm only bringing this up so I don't have to fix it)

do you think favorite pets get involved because I could defend why the snake is the best Hogwarts animal for hours. the Hufflepuff comes a close second though. those things are awesome but snakes are better. if I had to vote on who would win in a fight it would be the hufflepuff though, those things are crazy.

[aged-envy]

here me out Draco x Dudley Dursley

these two are basically the same character archetype but they also contradict each other in a really interesting way. One hates wizards while the other hates muggles. some of the hp community has decided that these characters deserve the Zuko treatment. They're never paired together when they do it and that seems like such a missed opportunity.

I think these two interacting would be amazing. it doesn't even have to be shipping. haters to friends would also work. I can practically hear them screaming slurs and propaganda at each other. Until one assumption is so outrageously stupid they start insulting each others believes instead. slowly convincing the other that muggles and wizards arn't what they thought.

they then go on a journey a lot like in My Name Is Earl. Making a list of all the people they have wronged. Then doing their best to make it up to them, falling in love on the way. out of every character pairing I think these two would be the only ones who truly understand the other. To understand why they did terrible things in the past. how they could be so wrong in thier believes while pushing the other to be better.

they also bond over how much they hate Harry Pottah. then over how panicked they are when they realize they have to apologize to him.

if you want drarry or draminie, you can make Dudley and Draco each other's wing man.

[aged-envy]

draco redemption dark mark idea

this series is so old there's no way someone hasn't thought of this. it deffintly breaks cannon though but what if their was one mark that could cover up the dark mark. created by Voldemort himself as part of the killing ritutal for people who betrayed him. he would put the mark over their dark mark. cut off their arm and hang it up for all of his followers to see. before torture and killing said person. to keep everyone in line

it was the thing that kept Draco in line for years. he closes his eyes and can see the arms dangling down with the mark. the sounds of their screams. sometimes it was people who Draco knew were loyal but just pissed off Voldemort that day. he feared the day that mark would be on his arm.

when Draco breaks away from the cult he wants the dark mark gone or at least something to show he's not a death eater anymore. so he brands that mark over his dark mark, he's dead to the death eaters anyway. To solidify his choice and make it so he can never go back. As a constant reminder of why he left. now his greatest fear is becoming the coward he once was.

it should be a dagger because it symbolizes betrayal and looks similar to the sword that kills the snake. this is the ruff ruff draft.

[aged-envy]

steddie conflict

as much as I love the bi panic conflict i've thought of one even better. as we've established in this fandom Steve has abandonment issues. eddie's part of a rock band and wants to tour the world. at least that's what Steve thinks.

that would terrify him enough to not want to start dating him because Eddie's band is good. so he's stuck in the position of hoping they doesn't get big and go on tour. that's not fair to Eddie though but him leaving for months on end wouldn't work for Steve. nor would Steve want to just follow them. he has people in Hawkins and would never leave robin. mostly he doesn't want to travel to the world constantly. vacations sure but constantly. no

now how would they work this out. it's a miscommunication, mostly on Steve's side. he heard Eddie talking about going on tours once and assumed it would be constant. that's what he's used to but Eddie doesn't want to go on tours constantly. maybe one every few years.

Eddie might like performing and be a loud mouth but he's an introvert at heart. he doesn't want to be around his band mates and large crowds for more than a few months. He would also do a way better job at keeping in contact with Steve if he did go on tour. Truly proving how truly shitty his parents were. There are a lot of ways to become a rock star. it's not mandatory to go on tour.

[aged-envy]

The LGBTQ+(Gay) Agenda

to do list

--be gay(not a requirement)

--a lot of caffeine

--be an ally (mandatory)

--take a moment to remember your favorite cannon LBGTQ+ ship/couple

--take the time to appreciate your favorite LBGTQ+ character/person

--create/organize all fandom ships, genders, sexuality, non attractions, romantic attractions, flags and more categories.

AVOID AT ALL COST

--homophones

--republicans (stay away from me, ew)

--magots

--facist

--another synonym

DEMANDS

--Have cannon gay characters in tv shows. Make them gay or keep them straight. Authors with commitment issues bother me.

--Cannon gay ships with out one of them dying or getting a lobotomy (commitment issues, am I right)

--more rainbows

--new LGBTQ+ flags, no flag is safe, we will make every flag gay. I just made the American flag gay. ha GAY, the United States of gay.

--new colors (when are we going to get that color update)

--same sex love (LOVE, we want the right to love you as-holes. it's love, why do people genuinely think they get to decide what gender you date. why are you attacking this right, go away)

--body autonomy(again why is this anyone's business, body altering surgeries are a serious decision. that only involve the consenting patient and doctor opinions/decision. no one else.

--For people to fuck off

--fuck off, leave us alone

TO BE PROTECTED

--Daniel Radcliff,

--Pedro Pascal,

--Any other person who speaks about LGBTQ topics the way they do.

--LGBTQ+

--Minorities

[aged-envy]

bartender mike x epoloige will

the napkin will give mike at the end of this fanfic

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[aged-envy]

The ancient phandom text

can we mutually agree to talk about this list as if it's ancient phandom literature. laws that rule over phandom culture. then follow it up with saying like this.

"Rights empowered by The Creator" 

"Dignity and Worth of All fandoms ships".

"No fandom Above the Another, No ship Above Criticism" 

"You are a consumer, not a confidant."

"They are selling a persona, not their personality."

"Being 'fandom' doesn't entitle you to their private life."

"They are not your best friend; they are a character in your daily routine."

[aged-envy]

Bi Bartender Mike x Epilogue Will

may I propose a new Byler varient

will's date with carlton doesn't go well, hours after the date he sits at the bar trying to get the guts to ask someone else out. Or at least try to make friends but social anxiety is winning again. Especially with how dull and embarrassing that date was. so he just keeps drinking sprites.

will doesn't drink alcohol in my head cannon but gay bars are the easiest and safest way to meet other gay people. he 100% has ear plugs in to block out most of the club noise.

eventually it's shift change at the bar and it's mike who shows up. turns out not only is he bi but he also works at this gay bar. To help pay for his English literature degree/life but mostly to meet people in the publishing industry. it did not take long for him to learn that a lot of writers are alcoholics.

will and mike end the night boyfriends. I think this is the perfect way to work around the epilogue boyfriend ending.

this is my first ruff draft comic. it needs a lot of work but I like it so far.

this is the fanfic ruff draft and AO3 link

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

“Mike, omg you work here” will asks

"Unfortunately, dammit he always does it, he just leaves cups” mike says motioning to will’s empty sprite cups. He moves the dirty cups to the sink area and starts wiping down the counter with disinfectant"

“In his defence you were 15 minutes late for your shift, I heard him complaining about you always being late. I see that hasn’t changed”

“Ha, ha, no, it never will, I make up for it by being great at this job though. this place is already cleaner and I just got here. that better be enough I need this job, it’s one of the best spots to meet people in the writing industry. turns out a lot of them are alcoholics” 

“really good to know, i'm happy to hear you're still writing. what are you working on now"

“Right now I'm working on an enemies to lovers romance between a soldier and prince. They are forced to work together to defeat the dragon that has been terrorizing the kingdom. it starts as an enemy of my enemy is my friend. they slowly learn that they have way more in common than they ever thought and become ride or die lovers. They swear to live for each other so they can go crazy together”

“Sounds interesting, why romance”

“Idk, I just like writing gay romances. I guess it’s nice creating a world where we aren't discriminated against. Where being gay is treated as if it’s normal. Like it’s on the same level of choosing what your favorite color is, because that’s how it should be treated.”

“Wait, your gay”

“Oh yeah, I never told you, I forgot we stopped talking before I had my gay crisis. Well not gay, i’m not gay, i mean i am but i’m not only gay. I like both, I definitely like guys more though. I didn’t even know that was an option until I started college.”

“Oh, good for you, Thanks for trusting me with this. Honestly i should have known when i came out you would also.They do claim that it’s contagious. I should've known you wouldn’t be able to resist my charm” 

"yeah I should have known, there was always this friend of mine. we were best friends and I would look at them like they were my everything. as if they were perfection because they were and still are. ever since elementary school but I let them get way"

"yeah I guess I did the same, I gave them this painting and lied about who commissioned it. that was so stupid I should have told them the love confession was from me but I chicken out"

"oh, well do you think it's to late for them" mike ask leaning in closer to will looking at his lips

"no I don't think so, do you" will replies leaning in staring back at Mike's lips

"it's never too late" mike says before they kiss

[aged-envy]

make it a yuri ship

okay here me out. I really want to ship stobin but they are platonic soulmates in cannon. so in a alternative universe Steve is a girl and they are lesbian lovers. imagine the princess Stephanie falling in love with the peasant robin when forced to get a job by her dad. so she can learn responsibility.

Her name is Stephanie but she goes by Steph. she would also looks like Fiona gallagher

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[aged-envy]

Gallavich

i wanna take the time to appreciate how fast these two where confirmed as gay. It caught me off guard how fast they went from fighting to fucking. it's within 5 minutes of their story. it was such a breath of fresh air. they also start off as the gay stereotypes but quickly subvert them. Having them moving on from these stereotypes as their character growth without it becoming their only arch. it helps keep them fully rounded characters.

so many writers tip toe around it (cough byler cough) but they wasted no time. then continued to treat their relationship with as much seriousness as their straight couples. If anything they take it more seriously. even with their problems they continue to be one of the best couples in the show. the jail arch, marriage plot, omg these two are adorable.

using them to show the struggles gay people deal with in such a respectful way. while not diluting their characters to do it. even with how messy their story is, they still have this deep connection with each other. most stories are messy in this show and the writers aren't afraid to show a morally grey queer relationship. Along with morally grey lgbt characters is such a breath of fresh air. theirs so much pressure for gay couples to be perfect all the time. it leads to queer representation feeling bland if it even happens at all.

consistency these two stay the healthiest dynamic in this show. we watch as most of the other couples are having domestic issues. even at these two's worst they always have each other's back. These two are gay icons. the way these two bicker like an old married couple even before they get married. The way they're not afraid to call each other out on their bullshit.

Also Mickey starting as the tough, toxic masculine gay stereotype but not suddenly becoming an overly flamboyant gay guy when he comes out is nice to see. He stays tough but gains a soft side. Staying masculine but being less toxic about it. it's a slow and messy process.

It shows what internalized homophobia and social pressure really looks like. Along with how it impacts queer and non queer people. I think the bathtub scene where he says "I don't think i'm this gay" describes his character and gallavich perfectly

ian could have easily been written off as the overly sensitive gay guy stereotype. especially during his bipolar arch but they make it clear that that's not what it is. him being gay is never the reason he's emotional. him being bipolar is at the focus.

even when he is leading a lgbt protest. He does it because he believes in the cause. This is the same character who joined the military. He likes fighting for things but he goes about it in a way that breaks the law because he's also manic.

So even when his archs revolve around LGBT topics he stays a fully rounded character. His motivations make sense. it's not only because he's gay, so he needs to fit the narrative role of teaching people about being gay. he's a character who just so happens to be gay.

this is a really good way to subvert these stereotypes. Are there problematic aspects to their story, probably. This show is called shameless for a reason. the whole point is to show messy characters and they did a really good job doing that with these two. this is the type of queer representation I want.

[aged-envy]

he knows cars, trust me

In my head cannons Steve knows how to take care of cars. Like he does all the work on his car. because he treats that thing well and wouldn't trust anyone else to touch his baby.

he eventually teaches all of his nuggets how to take care of cars also. teaches them to drive with this car. telling them to drive it like a grandma.

if they end up messing something up in the car. he just orders the parts and makes them fix it. with his help and supervision of course. he does this with max and mike the most. the rule exists because of max but mike was the first one to have to do this 'punishment'

it gets to the point where the other kids show up to watch. so they can learn and taunt the person fixing the car. as long as they don't get too mean with the insults Steve doesn't care. of course t's max and mike who are the ones being the meanest. They were also the first ones to start showing up to 'learn' (taunt the other). don't worry they hype each other up when needed. mechanic work can be mentally tiring. but most of the time the taunting is motivation enough