Notes Of Agerasia

Reasons I’m alive: spite, chocolate and fiction (pfp by pocapoee) ao3: agerasia Ask me Stuff!

[agerasiaa]

:)

welcome to my messy page

…current hyperfixations: hazbin hotel (radiostatic), tadc (jax), tmf (drew)

Hey, I’m Ash! You know that person you meet once, have a few minutes of awkward conversation with, and then never talk to again? Yeah, that’s probably me.

I love diving into fandoms and spending way too much time in front of glowing screens. Writing is my passion, and one day, I’m going to write a book—if the universe doesn’t take me out first. Until then, I’ll keep writing fanfic because fanfic deserves just as much cultural credit as literature. Obviously. I also dabble in poetry now and then.

I absolutely love psychoanalyzing my favorite characters and analyzing media. I often use my fanfics to explore those ideas further.

English isn’t my first language, so if my grammar gives you a headache, just know it’s not intentional.

Take care, and I hope you find a reason to smile today, tomorrow, and beyond <3

Agerasia - Listen on Spotify - Linktree

View agerasia’s Linktree. Listen to their music on Spotify here.

[agerasiaa]

Chapter 2 of my peachplum/drake future au fic is finally out!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59213437/chapters/222521381#workskin

[mephistopheles]

strange levels of multi-track drifting with this radiostatic business. alastor refuses to show up on camera or film but allows himself to proudly be photographed for and beside vox. refuses to drink w anyone but vincent and then is seen drinking alone next to the mic vincent gave him that he kept in his bedroom for seventy years. is perfectly content to play piano Completely Suited Up but strips a lil for vincent. stares at him (only him) with dilated pupils. flops his ears around. giggles. sings a passionate duet with him and leans up close enough to kiss him to pant into his open mouth. hosts his first broadcast after seven entire years of dead air and it’s a song with and about vox, set to the melody they enjoyed together in their past that he remembered and kept for seventy years. stakes his entire soul on knowing and needing vox for an entire season. the production company released an image of the two of them laughing together beneath a poster describing love, on valentines day. and everyone with any iota of creative control over this property keeps fucking insisting that there’s nothing to see here

[agerasiaa]

New fic drop!!

Vox sick fic, radiostatic, just posted the first chapter :)

Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/79274076/chapters/208008676

[agerasiaa]

Also another thing I notice about Vox is the subtle ways we can see how high he places Alastor’s opinion of things. Like when Alastor says “then you went and ruined it” VOX BELIEVES IT. He doesn’t say “well if you hadn’t been such a mean asshole about it and just said no like a normal person things might be different.” Vox believes their falling out was his fault, just because Alastor says so.

Like he believes he was begging, just because Alastor says so, and immediately has to prove he doesn’t need to beg or even ask for anything. Like he believes his dependence on others is a weakness, just because Alastor implies it, and does his best to prove he doesn’t need ANYONE.

[agerasiaa]

Okay, so because I’m still not over this and I need to rant about past radiostatic.

Vincent Whittman—a man who at his core is so insecure with himself he gets jealous enough to kill people and then replace them, dress like them, creates this version of himself that’s all lies and manipulation—feeling comfortable enough with someone to be vulnerable (the very first time in his life or at least in decades) and to make them an offer to be officially equals. Narcissistic man seeing someone as their EQUAL (and Alastor did too, he even says it!!)

DO YOU TRULY COMPREHEND WHAT THAT IMPLIES ABOUT PAST RADIOSTATIC DYNAMIC?

There’s no way Alastor was ever even slightly harsh to him before this moment. Even one slight toward Vox from Alastor, where his ego would have felt threatened, would have made it so that he’d never make the offer in the first place.

Alastor, who loves to be condescending and above others to stroke his own ego, NEVER did that to past Vox. Maybe not even as a joke (because I doubt an insecure man like Vox could take a joke in good spirit lmao).

Past radiostatic was soft the whole time they knew each other (or grew to be so fast). COUPLE OF YEARS, they were close.

Vox made the offer in a PUBLIC place. If there was even a chance he thought he might be rejected, he would have made the event at least private.

When Alastor reacts the way he does to it, Vox is baffled af. Alastor was never mean to him and now he is nothing but mean.

They make me sick. Goodbye.

[agerasiaa]

Hazbin Hotel × Criminal Minds crossover where it’s a human Radiostatic AU and the FBI is trying to track a serial killer targeting powerful white men in the media industry.

At first, the case looks straightforward: multiple stab wounds, bodies hidden with care, classic organized offender. Then suddenly the signature changes: throats slashed, victims hung and left in public like grisly billboards.

The team thinks the killer has devolved… until the latest murders show both patterns at once: stab wounds and slashed throats, hidden bodies and staged bodies.

That’s when they realize it’s not one killer experimenting—it’s two with the same victim profile who crossed paths, recognized each other, and started collaborating.

A twisted love story, but told entirely from the investigators’ perspective as they try to unravel the partnership.

[agerasiaa]

I’m actually VIOLENTLY ill over the fact that Alastor was stressing about how to get out of his deal with Rosie and his brain went: “Okay…I need someone who could be recognized as the strongest sinner.”

AND HIS MIND WENT TO VOX.

Like??? No matter how much smack he talks to Vox’s face, it’s really telling that Alastor STILL acknowledged that Vox was capable of reaching that level.

And the fact that his entire plan hinged on how well he knows Vox??

He knew Vox is touchy, reactive, emotional—and he built the whole scheme around exactly how he knew Vox would respond. He relied on Vox being down bad enough for him to be easy to manipulate.

The emotional intimacy of that…the mutual hatred…the tension…

Alastor’s biggest problem was that deal… and Vox’s unrequited violent obsessive love is the thing that breaks it for him. I’m unwell.

[agerasiaa]

Vox’s manipulative skills are impressive. No wonder he used to be a cult leader—the man knows how to talk. He can twist Charlie’s and Carmilla’s words to fit his own narrative, pull reactions out of people who outrank him (Lucifer, Sera), and keep the entire city eating out of his hand.

But the one person he cannot get a grip on? Alastor.

Like… Alastor has this man wrapped around his pinkie. The moment they’re in the same room, it’s not Vox manipulating—it’s Alastor. He’s the one subtly driving a wedge between the Vs while Vox is just standing there, desperate for his attention and approval.

It’s deliciously pathetic.

[agerasiaa]

a fic where alastor goes back in time to the moment vox first asked him to be partners. this time, knowing how much rosie will tighten her control over him in the future, he accepts—not out of want, but strategy. he plans to use vox as a pawn in his game against her, manipulating his feelings and giving him exactly what he wants, just not genuinely.

he hates that he has to do it (because he doesn’t like relying on others), but he does enjoy toying with him—and the longer it goes on, the more the line between manipulation and sincerity starts to blur.

alastor could’ve had that man wrapped around his pinkie so easily. younger vox was such a pleaser when it came to him smh.

(and maybe alastor forgot how vox used to be like with him and finds out he missed something about their friendsh— not that there’s friends in hell!! about his old pal)

this is the flavor of toxic old man yaoi i need to see please and thank you.

[eridiandreams]

This is the scene from @agerasiaa's second chapter! I've been thinking I should draw this interaction since I first read it, and I've finally gotten around to it lately! These lovely designs are by @tadc-in-dnd (version w/out background below) :D

[agerasiaa]

Jax & his 4th-wall breaks

actually make so much sense when I think about it.

He’s insecure. Jax’s constant fear of being perceived pushes him to overthink the very nature of the digital circus. Like maybe people in the real world are watching through VR or something. There has to be a reason it was created after all, it would almost be more unlikely there wasn’t someone watching.

So in his mind:

If someone is watching, he’s letting them know he’s onto them. He wants to be clever, untouchable, in control.

If no one’s watching, then at least he’s still playing the “funny one” role to those there with him.

It’s a perfect way to explain why he leans into 4th-wall breaks when no one else does. They’re not just jokes—they’re an insurance policy against being powerless in a world where he has no say in his own body or circumstances.

[agerasiaa]

What was your reasoning behind titling the fic "Glass Love Eclipse"? :o

Love this question! The phrase “Glass Love Eclipse” actually existed in my head months before I even knew about TMF. I originally used it as the title for a playlist of love songs—it was just a phrase I came up with on a whim, though I don’t fully remember how. What I do remember is what it meant to me:

Glass love → fragile and tender, something new or easily broken.

Eclipse → something overshadowed, hidden, or consumed by an overwhelming surge of complicated emotions.

Together, it became a way of describing love that is at once delicate and breakable, yet also fierce, chaotic, and overwhelming in its intensity.

When I later came up with GLE, I realized how perfectly the name fit the story. It even took on an extra layer of (more literal) meaning through the connection between glass = star tear disease.

Out of all my works, it’s the only fic where I didn’t have to struggle with the title—the name just fit from the very start.

[agerasiaa]

hi agerasia/ash!! what got you to write for drake? ^_^

I binge-watched TMF in a single day after the season 1 finale came out, and I immediately fell in love with Drew’s character. There’s just so much potential within the ship drake—it feels like Drew having feelings for him would fit so naturally with how he acts in canon.

I know for sure they don’t have any romantic feelings in canon, but there’s so much complicated emotion and longing. At the very least, canonically, Jake is incredibly important to Drew, and Drew was Jake’s first real school friend—and also a shield against bullying. There’s mutual affection there, but it’s always shadowed by Drew’s nasty bully behavior. It’s never going to be canon, but goddamn, do we have to explore the hell out of it in fanon.

Those were my thoughts, and during the following two weeks, I proceeded to obsessively write GLE.

Now, two years after the end of season 1 and finally with news about season 2, my attachment to Drew and drake hasn’t faded. I’m planning on finishing “Apartment Above” and maybe writing even more for the ship, depending on how (and if) season 2 inspires me.

But regardless, this ship has a special place in my heart. Part of that comes from the strange love and understanding I feel for Drew’s character (though I can’t quite pinpoint where that feeling stems from), and part of it comes from the significance GLE ended up having in the small fandom. I’ve never received so much love for something I wrote—fanart, responses, and even the fact that I created the Drew/Jake ship tag on AO3. It feels like I managed to create something that truly mattered to people. I never set out to do that, but it resonated—and for that, I’m deeply grateful.

(Hi! Omg, crazy fact: for the past 1–2 years, my inbox has been showing 2 unread questions. But every time I clicked on it, it said 0 unread. I just assumed it was a glitch and that the 2 questions didn’t actually exist. Well… until TODAY, when I clicked and actually saw the 2 questions! I have no idea why this happened, but hey @kerotozero—sorry for taking so long to respond. You probably don’t even remember asking, but better late than never ;-;)

[tadc-in-dnd]

Here's a visualization of a few moments from the fanfic "To Peel Apart the Bitter Heart"

and by the way at the end there will be a small spoiler for the fanfic

I am not the author of this fanfic and this is my visualization of these moments, @agerasiaa if something is not right here, write to me calmly and I will redraw it

and here's the spoiler

[agerasiaa]

You made the NPC so adorable ;-; I love him being a chess pawn. The platform illustration is STUNNING <3

I’d never have anything I’d wanna change, put your artistic vision to use however you want. You have a lot of talent!

[agerasiaa]

SOMEONE DREW DESIGNS FOR MY FANTASY AU (not a real au caine just made them cosplay) FIC

Art by @BBsjsns26804 (on Twitter)

@tadc-in-dnd (now also on Tumbrl!)

Shortened summary: Caine’s newest ‘teamwork improvement adventure’ is designed to succeed. But as long as Jax is there, it won't. And so it begins—for him, from the start. Again. And again.

These are so intricate and well-drawn—way better than what I imagined when I was writing!

JAX!! His dagger!! The cloak is perfect. The color, the rugged, practical feel… I’m obsessed <3

And the muted, earthy tones of the palette? So spot-on, they fit the vibe exactly.

THE HAT AND THE STAFF— I can’t get over how beautiful they are. The glowing butterflies…

Ragatha’s outfit honestly impressed me the most. The robe design, that pristine white-and-blue with gold details—she looks so elegant, absolutely every part the healer.

And Pomni looking at that ukulele XD, the expression is killing me.

The Renaissance fair flair is so strong here. The colors, the feathered hat… it’s all so good and way beyond what I pictured.

The top ribbon is beautiful!! She looks like a princess, her dress and green cape are so pretty too ;-;

I just know this was a nightmare to design/draw. But it’s so GOOD, the mitch-matched parts fit Zooble’s character design. The matching star motif with Gangle in the armor is PERFECT since I kind of gave them their roles as a duo too!

So yes, I feel super honored to receive art like this for my new fic. These outfits are absolutely full of personality and creativity. Each one conveys the character's role perfectly!

Link to the original post:

[agerasiaa]

Since Jax likes to dehumanize both himself and everyone around him—treating them as if they’re just characters—the fact that there are headcanons and theories about him actually being an NPC really shows how convincing he is at playing that role. He’s so good at it that even the fandom doubts whether he’s truly “real.”