mdni. this is a secondary blog. my main is @cyberescapism
english isn't my first language so i apologize for any mistakes! i decided not to use my real name bc my friends might find this so you can call me sabbat or whatever you want lol i'm also kinda shy so i'm sorry if i don't interact a lot ><
sorry if i don't make bots/fics too often. i used to write before, but college is messing up my life so i'm trying to get good at it again. i'm also a very slow writer + editing takes me ages so yea
obsessed with yellowjackets, fleetwood mac, vampires & werewolves, horror and numetal. veteran orbit n insomnia. shauna and cate dunlap apologist!!!
my main interests are yellowjackets, gen v, marvel (mostly wanda), fallout, vampire: the masquerade bloodlines, skyrim, dragon age: origins, silent hill, re, cyberpunk 2077
gorgeous hues of blue and orange stretched across the sky, painting it like a vast canvas. Natalie watched the beautiful sight unfold, yet she couldn't help but feel suffocated. she was hoping everything would go smoothly in her new job, but she knew better than to rely on the will of God and her fading faith. at least He had been kind enough to send a truck driver her way—one who had offered her a ride and hadn't acted like a creep, unlike most men she'd met in her twenty years.
not many people were fond of the idea of women working, but she needed to get by somehow.
i was born in the right generation i love natalie scatorccio and dolly parton!!!
i'm sorry it took me this long anon.. it's honestly embarrassing. also this was my first time watching this movie and i understand the hype now
so ive been gone for some time. life's been weird lately anddd ive had terrible writer's block. all i do is play cyberpunk and kingdom come deliverance and maybe watch abbott elementary
don't get me wrong, ive been trying to write something good while i was gone but my perfectionist ahh ends up hating everything i come up with💔 i had like six different ideas that i discarded because i was so frustrated that i couldn't put my thoughts and ideas into words (vampire!nat i swear ill keep trying until i'm satisfied with the result)
i don't really use cai anymore so i hope the responses are good enough. im sorry if they aren't...( ･ั﹏･ั)
ANYWAY, thank you guys for still liking and reblogging my stuff. thank you anon for requesting this, too. i sincerely hope you like it. i'll be lurking around<3!!
to the anon who sent that nat brokeback mountain req, yes i saw it!!! thing is i'll be busy with midterms for the next couple weeks so it'll take me some time to get it done im sorryyy T___T
summary. after years of being trapped under the spotlight of a traveling freak show, shauna finally tastes freedom—except it comes at a devastating cost
pairing. shauna shipman x fem!reader
word count. 10.8k
warnings. smut, shauna being a menace to society are we surprised, unresolved trauma stuff maybe, werewolf!shauna kinda, not really a happy ending but it's not terrible either i think, emotional distress, mentions of violence, smoking, drinking, idk what else to put here i forgor
fic note. hey.. hey.... how yall doin :p so i'm going to be honest, this took me so long to finish bc i recently bought death stranding and i've been playing it nonstop like it's crazy. also kinda struggled with the smut part bc how does one write smut correctly??
so yeah. sorry for taking so long to post this eheh:] hopefully it's good enough to make up for it anddd without spoiling too much i wanted to go with something bittersweet (although i'm still not sure of how i feel about this one.. there are some parts that i know i could've written better and i should have given how long it took me to post this but ehh idkkk maybe im just insecure about my writing) i had many many ideas about how i wanted this story to go which is also one of the reasons why it took me SO long to finish this. i should probably say that they're both hurt and sad sooo please don't think that i ruined their character development ☝️🤓 the ending feels kinda rushed I KNOW but i still have one more chapter from nat's pov left in mind sooo
anyway if you haven't read the original silent circus i'd REALLY recommend checking it out to understand the backstory a bit better and also bc their stories are like,, highly intertwined that's the whole point. this was a nightmare to proofread and edit bc it's so long so please enjoy ^^
+18. minors do not interact
They always said the devil walked with the carnival when it rolled into town.
Maybe it was the way the air changed—too still, too warm even for early September. Maybe it was the way the lights flickered even when the wiring was fine.
Or maybe it was just her.
The girl with the sharp smile, the one who didn’t flinch when people stared—who dared to stare right back.
Shauna.
Smoke curled from her cigarette as she leaned against the rusted railing near the town's general goods store, one boot heel propped on a crate full of broken bottles. She looked like she belonged to something older than the carnival—older than god, maybe. Something ancient and brazen.
She liked haunting public places, just to terrorize the men who liked creeping on women and children. All it ever took was a glare, a low growl, and they'd scatter away like cockroaches. It was almost ridiculous, how quick they always ran.
Most folks didn't like to look at her for too long. But they couldn't help themselves, either. Curiosity was a hell of a thing.
“Filthy creature.” Someone muttered behind her back.
Shauna heard it. She always did.
But she didn't flinch. Didn't lower her gaze or apologize for her existence the way Natalie might have. She grinned instead—lips parting to reveal the glint of sharp fangs, just enough to make the woman clutch her rosary and scurry off like a mouse in a chapel.
Let them look. Let them whisper.
She wanted them to see.
In a world they kept its monsters hidden in the shadows, Shauna had but herself a spotlight. She enjoyed being feared, and wore her rage like a second skin.
Behind her, in the distance, the carnival was waking up. Lights cracked to life, casting warped and colorful halos on the dusk. Distant music floated through the thick air—distorted and dreamlike. The scent of industrial pollution, rusted iron, and sugar clung to the town like rot and cheap perfume.
It became some sort of guilty pleasure for the people who bought tickets for the show. A way to turn their dull, excruciatingly boring lives into something brighter and more exciting—at least for a couple hours.
They watched from behind their hands, eyes wide and ready to bolt. They'd mutter prayers under their breath and clutched their coats a little tighter to give themselves a sense of security. “Those things shouldn't be allowed to walk free.” They'd whisper to each other.
They came to gawk at the freaks, to clap for the fire-breathers and the acrobats. But they stayed for the feral girls—Shauna and Natalie. Raised by wolves, or so the rumors said.
And, god, Shauna hated that damn cage.
It wasn't the bars or the confined space—it was the performance. The act. The way they expected her to snarl and pace like an animal. It was dehumanizing, even for someone like her—half-beast, half-human.
She knew about the rumors. Everyone did. Word around town was that she could snap a man's neck with only her teeth and laugh while doing it. It's why they kept her restrained during every show.
They thought the cage was to keep her in. But it was never about her. The bars were for them—to feel safe. To pretend their pathetic world made sense and actually meant something.
Shauna could probably bend those bars with her bare hands, if she cared enough to try.
But still—she gave them what they wanted. Most nights, when she felt like it, anyway.
A whistle shrieked somewhere in the distance—thin but loud, like the last cry of an animal before dying. That was the call. Time to head back.
Shauna took one last drag from her cigarette, the end flaring bright in the dull afternoon light. She flicked it to the ground and crushed it with the heel of her boot. Then, she pushed off the railing and stretched—back arching and joints cracking with a heavy sigh.
Someone across the street froze mid-step. A boy—thirteen, maybe fourteen. Mouth slack and eyes wide, like he'd just seen a ghost or a god. His mother yanked him away, whispering something Shauna couldn't hear.
Being feared was fine but being worshipped—that was a different kind of hunger that curled up in the back of her skull and waited for the right moment to sink in.
The road back to the carnival wound along the town's edges, past rusted train tracks, dry grass, and a dead orchard where even the crows didn't bother anymore. Shauna liked that stretch. There were no whispers, no hushed insults, nothing.
Just the comforting crunch of gravel beneath her boots, and the slow rise of carny music bleeding through the trees.
By the time she reached the canvas gates, the sky was burning with different shades of orange and pink. The kind of sunset that made the world look like it was lit aflame.
Inside, the crew was already busy and moving around. The strongman grunted as he hauled chairs into place. One of the clowns cursed about the busted light above the fortune teller’s booth. And Natalie—Shauna could sense her before she saw her.
They'd spent too many years together that Shauna could recognize the rhythm of her breathing anywhere.
She didn’t go to her. Instead, she turned toward the cages.
Her cage.
Someone had cleaned it since the last show. The floor still stank of blood and sweat, but the door hung open like an invitation. Shauna stepped inside, dragging her fingers along the cold iron bars.
She wondered, just for a moment, what it would take to tear the whole damn thing down. Not just the cage—but the carnival. The town. This whole absurd pantomime they called a world.
“Fifteen minutes!” Someone called behind her.
Shauna didn’t answer. She was already crouched in the dark, waiting for the lights to rise.
Her good—or rather, neutral—mood from earlier had vanished entirely the second she remembered what they'd rehearsed for that Friday's act.
Growl, snarl, and claw at the bars. That part was easy.
It was the humiliation that left the worst taste in her mouth—the part where people threw popcorn and scraps at the bars, yelling insults and laughing like hyenas. At her. At Natalie.
She hated how easily she slipped into the role they'd written for her. Like it had been sewn into her skin now. Even when she told herself it was just for show—just noise and spectacle—something in her snarled every time they laughed. Every time they cheered.
They didn't understand what they were looking at. Not really. How could they not realize that she was meant for something bigger than a mediocre circus sideshow?
Shauna could already picture the first face she'd see after the show—some man, reeking of sweat and cigars, leaning in close to say something foul and disgusting like “How much for a private show?” Always the same grin, always the same eyes that looked at her like she was just an object for their entertainment, to be used.
That’s what made it easy to hate everyone.
Her stomach growled—low and hollow. She wasn't sure if it was hunger, or just that familiar, old emptiness, curling in her gut. Maybe both. Maybe it was just the ache of having to pretend she was less again.
“Ten minutes!”
The overwhelming scent of too many bodies hit her. A mix of both expensive and cheap perfumes, sweat, sugar, and the tang of skin made her lips curl in disgust.
Indistinct chatter buzzed beyond the curtain, along with the sound of the ringmaster's boots squeaking across the floorboards as he hurried to catch a glimpse of his reflection one last time.
From the cage beside hers, Natalie let out a low growl. Not for the crowd. For her. A warning, maybe. Or just a little comfort.
Shauna felt it pass between them—something wild and wordless, but still tender in a way most wouldn't understand. A language only they spoke.
“Five minutes!”
She rolled her shoulders, muscles shifting under the thin scarps that were supposed to be a costume. Torn clothes, designed to make them look like strays dragged in from some forest, like they were some feral, rabid animals.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” The ringmaster began, struggling to mask his fading German accent. “I present to you two creatures—born of women, raised by wild wolves—or so the whispers say!”
Her hands gripped the bars angrily, claws scraping the metal. She could feel the shift rise up in her. Dead eyes, a snarl curling on her lips, spine arched just enough to make them flinch.
But something else clawed at her ribs tonight. Something that wanted to stop pretending. Something that was thirsty for blood.
This isn't where I'm meant to be.
“The very spirit of the wilderness—made flesh!”
The velvet curtains flew open, and Shauna hissed as the bright spotlight hit her, burning into her eyes mercilessly.
Surprised gasps rippled through the audience, but Shauna was already too far gone into her anger. She rattled the bars and snarled at all of them.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Natalie’s shocked expression—wide-eyed, caught somewhere between shock or anger at Shauna for not playing her part.
For a second, Shauna really felt it—that ancient, wild thing in her blood. The so-called spirit of the wilderness, pushing through her bones, whispering: Take. Destroy. Be more.
They'll get the monster they came to see. It'd be so easy to just get rid of everyone. They'd see how strong you are. How you don't submit to anyone—
That little voice in the back of Shauna's head was interrupted by something wet slapping against the iron bars—a piece of raw meat.
She snarled and picked it up, only to hurl it back at the ringmaster. He stepped back just in time to dodge it, not without shooting her a sharp, silent glare.
She knew what it meant. Last time she'd seen that look, he'd docked her payment for a month.
But even then, she didn't care. All Shauna wanted was to prove—to herself and to everyone in that ridiculous place—that she wasn't a showpiece or something to be tamed. She was whatever she damn well wished to be.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
After the show, Shauna and Natalie returned to their tent and sat down on the floor, a first-aid kit slotted between them.
Natalie would wait until Shauna's rage cooled, then clean her bruised knuckles—raw, sometimes still bleeding—and bandage them up. Then they'd drink to shut off their brains, until the memories and thoughts became blurry.
Shauna winced as Natalie dabbed her skin with a wet cloth.
“You said you'd stop doing that.” Natalie muttered. Shauna's back tensed immediately, like a pulled wire, taut and ready to snap.
Am I wrong for demanding at least an ounce of respect?
“We're not here by choice, Shauna. Remember that. What will you do if Mr. Mars decides to kick you out? What will we do?”
She doesn't get it.
Indignation flared in Shauna's chest instantly like gasoline catching fire.
“You still don't get it.” She scoffed. “We don't need them. We could easily live off the land if we have to. But you—you’re always letting them humiliate you like some obedient house pet!”
Nothing about the circus life was fair.
But fairness had nothing to do with it.
It's not about what's fair. It's about making things right for yourself.
Shauna tried to shove that voice inside her head down. But how could she, when it sounded just like the truth?
Natalie's fingers stilled and she stared at Shauna, then let out a long, tired sigh like she was already fed up.
“And where would we go?” She asked. “You think anyone out there wants freaks like us—”
“We're not freaks.” Shauna snapped.
You’re angry for a reason. You’re the only one who still remembers what dignity feels like. Let her forget. You don’t have to.
The frustrated crease between Shauna's brows deepened. “You patch me up like it matters,” She said, her voice low. “But we both know I'll heal by morning. We're stronger than any of them. We're better.”
The wounded look on Natalie's face almost made Shauna take back everything she said, but it was the undeniable truth that they'd have to face someday. And the truth didn't care about anyone's feelings.
“You ever heard of a god begging for scraps? No. They take what they want.” Shauna tore the bandages off and stood up. “You would see it that way too, if you didn't give up so easily.”
She’ll thank you one day—for not letting her rot in a cage and call it mercy.
Shauna grabbed her jacket, feeling Natalie's eyes following her.
“Where are you going?” Natalie asked quietly.
“The bar in town.” She shrugged, slipping the jacket on.
“At least wear gloves and a hat. They'll kick you out once they see what you are.”
Shauna paused at the door to look at Natalie over her shoulder. She scoffed and left without another word.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
The bar was small, hot and humid—but at least it did its job to keep Shauna's thoughts distracting enough to stop her from spiraling into that familiar, bottomless anger.
She sat alone, drinking a lukewarm beer while staring off into space.
At least it was a women-only hole in the wall. No leering grins from men or disgusting invitations. Just her and the drink, which was more than enough.
A chair scraped against the floor beside her, but Shauna was far too busy thinking about too many things at once to even notice.
“You look troubled.”
A smooth, low voice. Almost alluring.
Shauna kept her eyes on the bowl filled with almonds set on the bar, assuming whoever spoke was talking to someone else.
“Are you alright?”
Her brows furrowed in confusion and suspicion at the question. The stranger was definitely talking to her.
She lifted her gaze and found your eyes already on her. There was an undeniable warmth in them. No mockery or pity. Just… honesty.
Huh.
Shauna's instincts kicked in—she had the sudden urge to growl, to bare her teeth and drive you off.
But she didn't.
You kept glancing up at her pointy ears and then at her claws resting on the sticky counter—not with judgement or disgust as others did. It was something close to fascination.
“I'm fine.” Her voice came out raspy and quiet. “Do we know each other?”
You chuckled, the sound quiet and unbothered, before you brought your drink up to your lips. Her ears perked up slightly at the sound. If you noticed, you didn't say anything.
Weird.
Even Natalie made fun of her responsive ears sometimes
“No, I don't think we do.” You finally answered. “But I've seen you here before. You've never looked this wrecked, though.”
Shauna shifted, suddenly hyperaware of the way her claws were tapping the neck of her bottle and how her leg bounced up and down in an anxious rhythm.
“You don't know me," She said, now with a sharper tone. “So why do you care how I'm feeling?”
You didn't flinch. If anything, you just looked amused. “So let's get to know each other.”
That made her pause. A scoff quickly rose in her throat, but got stuck halfway. Most people she'd met before were too scared of her to offer anything but distance.
Her eyes narrowed after a few seconds. “You mocking me?” She asked, her voice a low, dangerous rasp.
“If I were,” You smirked, leaning just a little closer. “You’d know.”
Shauna didn't answer, because no—there was no edge in your voice. And that was what threw her off the most.
“Anyway,” You continued, fingers casually skimming the rim of your glass. “I've got an extra cigarette, and no one else here is worth sharing it with.”
You reached into your coat pocket and pulled out a silver cigarette case, holding it between your fingers like an offering.
Shauna stared at you. The way you spoke, like this was normal, like you weren't talking to something that was half-wolf—she couldn't understand it.
You lit your own cigarette first, the flame flickering as you leaned back to give her some space without really pulling away.
You could tear her apart. She's not afraid.
After a moment, Shauna gave in. She plucked the remaining cigarette from the case, her claws fumbling slightly against the lighter.
You didn't comment on it. Instead, you just took a long drag, smoke curling from your lips while you kept your gaze on her.
“Do you always come here alone?” You asked, casually. Like this was a normal conversation between two normal strangers. Like her ears weren't twitching to the thrumming bass of the music playing faintly in the background.
Like you hadn't already figured out she doesn't really belong anywhere.
She exhaled, smoke trailing from her nose. “Yeah. That a problem?”
“No. Of course not. I'm just interested in you.”
There it was again—that flicker of confusion across her face. The way you talked to her felt… strange, even almost invasive. Not because it was unwelcome, but because it was unfamiliar. It was as if you had reached inside and pulled something out that she didn't realize was visible to anyone.
“Are you seriously trying to flirt with me right now?” She muttered, her tone still sharp and defensive—except there was something else behind it. Curiosity, perhaps. Or maybe hunger.
You didn't flinch, only smiled. “Is it working?”
Shauna's lips twitched, almost curling into a smirk. “Careful. I bite.” She warned, blowing smoke out of her nose.
“Maybe I'm looking to get bitten.”
A long pause.
You could feel Shauna's eyes, studying you, trying to figure out what you wanted from her—whether you were a threat or not, or if you were just incredibly stupid and insane.
You could break her ribs like they're twigs. You could kiss her until her lungs forget how to breathe. She'll like it.
Shauna didn't ignore the voice in her head this time.
“Subtle, aren't you?”
“I could be subtle, if that's what you want.” You shrugged. “Or I could just say exactly what I'm thinking.”
The cigarette dangled from her lips. Her eyes gleamed with wary interest. “And what are you thinking?”
You leaned in again—slowly, not as a threat, but with purpose. “That you're burning up from the inside out, and no one has ever bothered to try to figure out why.”
That made something inside Shauna shift. Her throat, her chest—whatever muscle was supposed to hold all her rage and exhaustion together—felt like it was being constricted, as if her body had suddenly forgotten how to function normally.
Like her body couldn't remember how to process tenderness.
She sees you.
Shauna didn't answer right away. She just stared at you, waiting for the catch or the punchline. The trick. The trap. Anything.
But none of them came.
She'd been baited with kindness before, and she knew a lot better than to take it at face value.
“Is that some kind of pick up line you use on all the lonely freaks you stumble across?” She asked, trying so hard to look and sound unfazed.
She wasn't very convincing.
You met her eyes without hesitation and shook your head with a small chuckle. “No. Not really.”
The cigarette fell into the ashtray with a quiet hiss. Her gaze never left yours.
She's not afraid of you. Not even a little.
“You don't know me.” She said again, but her voice was different—stripped of its defensive nature.
“Not yet.” You took your drink and swirled it, just to give Shauna some space and a moment to breathe. You'd already gotten further than anyone else, clearly, and didn't want to press her too hard.
Her boot tapped against the wooden floor, the rubber sole squeaking with every bounce.
“What's your deal, anyway?” She asked, almost cautiously, as though she was walking on glass. “Most people run the other way when they see me.”
You hummed. “I've never been good at running from interesting things.”
“So you think I'm interesting?”
You removed the cigarette from your lips and dropped it into the ashtray, the ember flaring one last time. “You've seen yourself in a mirror, right?”
That lazy smirk you wore made something buzz in Shauna's chest—excitement, that she was fighting so hard to conceal.
Shauna glanced away, suddenly aware of the heat blooming in her cheeks. She tapped the beer bottle with her claws in a restless rhythm.
“So, what's your name?” She finally asked.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
You didn't quite remember how you ended up outside—pressed between Shauna and a brick wall in a darkened alley, quiet sighs and moans passed between your meeting lips. Your thoughts became blurry like a fever dream—her mouth on yours, desperate and hungry, as if she was trying to become one with you.
Her hands were everywhere—your jaw, your waist, your hips—touching you like she didn't know how to be gentle. She kissed you like she'd been starving for centuries.
Shauna's thigh slotted between your legs, and you pulled back with a soft gasp. Her eyes cracked open slowly, and the way she stared at you made you feel like you were her prey and she was ready to devour you.
“Do you like that?” She whispered, her warm breath hitting your face—a mix of beer and tobacco.
Her claws dug into your sides, and you bit your lip hard to suppress a groan that threatened to draw attention from anyone walking past the alley.
You nodded while caressing the soft hairs on the back of her neck. Her pupils were blown wide—any hint of the dark brown you noticed earlier was completely gone, replaced by a pitch black. Her cheeks were flushed, lips bruised from all the kissing, and her fuzzy ears perked up and twitching every now and then.
The way you looked at her—like she wasn't something to be feared but something worth wanting—made her dizzy with the urge to tear the whole damn world apart just to keep that look for herself forever.
Shauna lowered her face again, and the edges of her sharp canines grazed your jaw. Her breath audibly hitched against your skin, like she was considering—just for a moment—what it would be like to sink her teeth into your skin
Her nose pressed into the crook of your neck. “You smell so good…” She murmured, a low growl rising in her throat.
The noise should've been terrifying. It wasn't. If anything, it only made you feel even more excited.
Such a sweet little thing.
“Let's go to my place,” You whispered, while Shauna began littering kisses all the way down to your collarbones. “It's not too far from here.”
She stopped, and sighed. “I… can't.” Her thumb brushed the corner of your lips. “I fought with my sister before I came here. If I don't go back soon, she'll start worrying.”
The words came out almost heavy, like she was forcing herself to ignore her own hunger
It took a moment for it to sink in, the part of you that had started dreaming about Shauna in your bed already protesting the interruption. But when you looked at her, you saw it—the way her hands trembled slightly, as though she was fighting the urge to stay with you.
“It's okay,” You whispered, but your hands still clung to her shoulders. You weren't ready to let her go, either. “I understand.”
Shauna leaned in once more, and her lips pressed her lips to your cheek—the feeling so soft and gentle that your heart skipped a beat and your skin burned with anticipation and want.
“Next time.” She muttered, like a vow. “I promise.”
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
When Shauna returned to their tent, she expected Natalie to be fast asleep. But, much to her surprise, Natalie was still awake, sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at an odd-looking flower resting on the nightstand.
“What's that?” She asked, peeling off her jacket. “It looks like a cactus.”
“Nothing.” Natalie answered vaguely, and way too quickly.
Shauna raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She was about to lie down on her own bed when Natalie spoke again.
“What happened to your lip?”
The question made Shauna blink in confusion. She raised a hand and touched her lips, hissing at the sting.
You must've bitten her while you were kissing. She hadn't even noticed until Natalie pointed it out.
And just like that, she could feel it all again—the ghost of your breath, the way your eyes stared at her fangs and claws like they were part of the seven ancient wonders Shauna had read about in one of those geography magazines Natalie liked.
Like she was something worth worshipping, something you wanted and weren't scared of.
“I think I nicked myself.” Shauna mumbled, not trying very hard to think of an explanation. “With my teeth.”
Luckily, Natalie didn't push.
It's too soon to even consider telling Nat about her, anyway.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
Later that night, Shauna lay awake long after the candles died down and Natalie fell asleep.
Everything still felt like it was too good to be true. She was still drunk on you, on the taste you left on her tongue. You had managed to sneak under her flesh. Shauna could feel you in her veins—consuming her, haunting her thoughts.
And every time she closed her eyes, she saw you. Every time she breathed, her heart ached for you, longing to have you next to her.
She rolled to her side and sighed, fingers twitching against the thin sheets. She tried to ignore the restless heat beneath her skin, but it remained there.
Your gaze, your voice, the promise of possibly going further next time.
You could have her.
You could have everything you want.
The voice was back, except this time, it didn't sound separate from her thoughts.
It was right then when Shauna realized that the voice sounded too much like her own and maybe it had just been herself all this time.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
The days after your meeting blurred into something restless and electric.
Shauna tried to pretend nothing had changed. That she could easily go back to prowling around inside her cage, growling on command, picking fights in her head like she used to. But every time she closed her eyes, there you were—your lips parted, lipstick smudged at the corners, and your half-lidded eyes, filled with desire.
You should go look for her.
Why are you still here?
By Tuesday, she'd nearly lunged at the woman from the ticket booth just for breathing too loud. On Wednesday, she almost strangled the strongman to death for telling her to “smile more”.
It felt like an entire decade had passed since that night—even if it had only been a few days.
Rehearsal after rehearsal. Over and over, she crawled back into her cage and let the crown gawk and laugh at her. Each time, she swore her skin felt tighter, like she might tear herself out of it and never look back.
Natalie noticed. She always did.
“You're distracted.” She said while cleaning Shauna's hands after rehearsal.
Shauna didn't answer.
She wouldn't understand.
By Friday morning, she was wound so tight that she could barely form any words. All she thought about was whether you'd be there at the bar again—if you'd look at her the same way, or if you had decided that she wasn't worth the trouble, after all.
When news came that the new magician who joined the circus would close the Friday show instead of her and Natalie, she didn't even bother saying goodbye. Just freshened up quickly and slipped out while the sky was still pink and the sun hovered low.
Before she even knew it, she was already there—standing before the door of the bar.
Of course the bar hadn't changed. Same dim lights, same smell of old wood, beer and sweat. But to Shauna, everything was different, as if the whole place was charged with energy.
Her boots squeaked across the floorboards a lot louder than she intended, but it didn't matter. All she could think about was you.
She didn't scan the place right away. Didn't want to look too desperate. But her ears twitched before her eyes moved, catching the hum of your voice, the soft tapping of your nails against glass, and that laugh she'd memorized and even dreamed about.
And there you were.
You hadn't seen her yet. You were talking to someone else, but not in the way you talked to her. There was no special glimmer in your eye or teasing smirks. Just… a casual exchange.
Her breath caught in her throat.
She came back.
Shauna didn't hesitate, just moved. She made her way through the fair amount of bodies and the scent of stale beer, like she was tethered to you by some invisible force.
You glanced up just as she reached the counter. Something flickered in your expression—surprise, recognition, and then that warmth again. That stupid, devastating warmth that made Shauna want to rip the stars out of the sky and give them to you, one by one.
She was willing to light every single person in the universe on fire just to have you all to herself.
“Miss me?” Shauna asked, trying to sound cocky. But her voice cracked right on the last syllable.
Traitor.
You didn't tease her for it. You just smiled as if you already knew how hard she was trying to look cool.
“You look like hell.” You said, but not unkindly. “It's been a while. Rough week?”
She sank into the seat next to you, and you realized that she looked a bit too much like a tired puppy. “I've been ready to crawl outta my skin since Monday.”
You sipped your drink, watching her over the rim of the glass with a curious glance. “i thought you wouldn't come back. But you didn't really strike me as someone who leaves things unfinished. So… I kept coming every night, hoping to catch you.”
Shauna felt something in her stomach twist—tight, raw. It was as though you were looking into the ugliest, deepest parts of her and deciding to stay anyway, for some reason.
Every night?
She swallowed hard. “What makes you sure I didn't forget about you?”
You answered with a soft laugh, and stared at her. “Did you?”
There was no answer from her. Not yet, at least.
Instead, she leaned forward and brushed her arm against yours purposefully.
“I thought about you,” She admitted, “More than I should have.”
A moment of silence passed between you, until you smiled. “Good.”
You ordered her a drink—some amber liquid that looked like the kind of thing that would burn down her throat. Just the way she liked it.
Shauna raised a brow as the bartender slid the glass toward her. “Are you tryin’ to get me drunk?”
“I've seen how you drink. A single glass won't do a damn thing to you.”
She huffed a quiet laugh and took a sip, her eyes never leaving yours. From the jukebox in the corner, a record played low—something by Skeeter Davis, her voice creating a dreamlike atmosphere. The quiet hum of distant chartering and glass clinking seemed to turn into a lullaby.
Shauna felt like it was just you and her.
Her fingers tapped on the counter in time with the beat. You watched her from the corner of your eye.
“I would've pegged you as more of a rock ‘n’ roll girl.” You said
Shauna looked at you, a tiny smile growing on her lips. “What gave it away? The fangs, or the chronic case of glaring and scowling at everyone?”
You laughed—not out of politeness, but because the joke had actually caught you off guard.
The sound made her heart soar.
She finally took a sip of her Rob Roy, and you watched the way her throat moved when she swallowed the liquid. She noticed, but didn't say anything.
“I like this place.” Shauna said, setting her glass down. “Nobody here looks at me like they wanna fix me. At least not for too long.”
You tilted your head and your expression softened. “Nobody needs to fix you. I think you're already pretty charming in your own way, even when you're not trying to be.”
Her gaze lingered on you for a moment. Then she looked down, folding a napkin between her claws in an attempt to distract herself from the way you were making her feel.
The bartender slid over a bowl of peanuts on the counter. She did a double take, but moved on without a comment. Shauna didn't look fazed. Just reached out and tossed a few into her mouth, still staring at you.
“So what's your story, then?” You asked, resting your chin on your hand. “Do you scare people for a living like something out of Weird Tales or one of those dime-store pulp magazines?”
A small chuckle vibrated in Shauna's chest. She leaned back, crossing her ankles. “Something like that, actually. I work with my sister. We've been on the road most of our lives, but we settled down here recently.”
Something told you there was more to it, but she'd probably lie if you asked about it, so you only hummed.
“You look like someone who's had to fight for everything,” You said. “Isn't it exhausting?”
“I have, and yeah.” Her voice was dry and rough, but her eyes were filled with all kinds of emotions. “But I like fighting.”
“Not everything has to be a war, you know.”
Shauna tilted her head slightly, like the thought had never occurred to her before. “No,” Her claws tapped the counter again. “But some things should be. Some things have to be.”
The light above flickered, casting her features in a soft glow that almost made her look otherworldly, something mythical. Or maybe like the world never deserved her, in the first place.
“You really amaze me.”
Her lips parted. She was struck by the words. They had landed somewhere soft inside of her in a way that she couldn't have expected. Before she could respond, you added:
“I really wanted to see you again.”
She blinked, visibly caught off guard. “People don’t usually say that to me. They always say I’m dangerous. Unstable. Not amazing.”
“Maybe I like danger,” You smiled. “Isn't that obvious by now?”
She wants you just as much as you do.
So what's stopping you?
Shauna didn't know the answer to that. She didn't really care anymore.
She wanted you—simple as that.
Her knee brushed against yours. You didn't move it away. Neither did she.
“And what about your story?” She asked, eager to learn every single detail about you. She wasn't sure if it was obsession, affection, or something else.
You smiled, but it didn't reach your eyes. “Mine’s less exciting, probably. I came here looking for someplace quiet to live, but loud enough to forget.”
Her eyes narrowed just slightly, as if she was weighing the truth of your answer. “What were you trying to forget?”
Your fingers traced the rim of your glass. “Old mistakes.”
That made something in her expression shift. The guarded look in her eyes faded just a little, and her ears perked up. “You talk like you've seen the worst things this world has to offer.”
You only shrugged. “Maybe that's why I recognized something special in you.”
Shauna observed you like she was trying to memorize the way your lips moved when you spoke. “You're strange.” She mumbled.
“So are you.”
She laughed briefly at your honesty and smirked. “Careful. I bite, remember?”
“And I'm not afraid, remember?”
Time seemed to stand still. You stared at each other in silence—neither of you daring to say anything to avoid ruining the moment.
The world melted away—the jukebox playing Wanda Jackson's powerful voice blurred in the background, along with everyone else in the bar. Just the heat of something unspoken beginning to take shape remained.
Shauna's fingers grazed the side of your hand where it rested on the table. Just a simple touch, but it still made your breath catch anyway.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” Her voice was low and rough around the edges. Not like she was asking for something casual for just one night, but something she needed.
You looked at her for a long moment, then nodded. “I really like the way your eyes look in this light. But yeah. I do.”
Shauna didn't say anything—just stood and finished the rest of her drink in one gulp before paying for both of you.
Neither of you said anything as you stood and made your way toward the exit together.
Outside, the air was thick and warm. The world felt hushed, as if even the night was holding its breath in anticipation. The street lights cast long, slanted shadows across the cracked pavement.
Her shoulder brushed yours as you walked, and she didn't pull away. The heat between you was palpable, almost tangible—like a spark begging for some air.
The town felt different somehow. Quieter. The only real sounds were the scuff of her boots on the asphalt and the occasional low growl of a car passing by.
You glanced at Shauna. Her jaw was tense and her eyes fixed forward, but her fingers twitched restlessly at her sides.
At last, you reached for her hand—slowly, testing the waters—and she took it without hesitation as if she'd been waiting for that exact moment the whole damn time.
“I live just down this block.” You murmured. Shauna didn't answer, she just squeezed your hand, her claws pressing into your skin; not hard enough to hurt, just enough to tell you to hurry.
You passed the old motel, the one with a broken “VACANY” sign—the neon light flickering like it was fighting to stay on—and then the diner where teenagers liked to hang out after school.
By the time your house came into view, Shauna had already drifted closer to you, unable to help herself anymore—she craved to feel you.
“I've never followed someone home like this before.” She said, her gaze never leaving yours. “You know, for this, specifically.”
“Guess we're both doing things we don't usually do.” You unlocked the door with a small smile. “Come in.”
Shauna glanced around, and her eyes lingered on the framed photographs for a moment, like she was trying to figure out who you really were from bits of faded smiles and old, sun-bleached pictures.
“It’s a nice place.” Her voice was unexpectedly soft. “But… I can't help but feel like it's strange.”
You turned toward her, curious about what she meant by that. The door clicked shut behind you. “What is?”
“This,” She said, stepping closer until there was barely any space left between you. “Wanting someone who doesn't make me feel ashamed. Being wanted.”
There was a flicker of something in her eyes—vulnerability, raw and short-lived.
You didn't answer. You only raised a hand, letting it hover near her cheek and waited for her to lean into your touch.
She did.
The contact was as light as a feather, but it struck her like a lightning bolt. Her eyes fluttered shut, just for a second, then opened again, locking onto yours.
“I don't think I'll be good at taking it slow,” She whispered. “Not at this. Not with you.”
“Then don't.” You whispered back, caressing her cheek with your thumb.
That was all Shauna needed.
Her lips met yours in a kiss that wasn't soft in the slightest. It was heated, filled with urgency and teeth clashing together—a kiss pulled from the pit of her hunger, from years of being looked at like a longer and touched like she carried some kind of contagious disease.
The kiss was different from the one you'd shared before. This time, it wasn't just fueled by lust, but something way deeper. She kissed you like she couldn't believe she was allowed to want something—someone this badly. That someone like you would want her back.
Her hands roamed all over your back, needing to feel all of you at once.
“I've been thinking about you every night since then,” She growled, claws digging into your sides just enough to make your breath catch. “I don't know what it is about you, but you haven't left my mind once.”
You couldn't help it anymore. Your hands found hers and you pulled her toward the bedroom.
As soon as the door closes, Shauna's lips found yours again, pinning you against it with a delicious strength that made your knees buckle and heat settled between your legs.
Is it a dream?
No. It can't be. Not when it feels this real.
She pulled back for a second as if she was trying to make sure you were real or if it was all just in her head. But when she saw the look in your glossy eyes—staring at her like she was worth a lot more than she ever thought—Shauna realized this was really happening, and you were entirely at her mercy.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Shauna kissed you again like she'd never get another chance to do it.
Until she finally slowed, her forehead pressed against yours, breathing roughly.
“I don't want to scare you.” She whispered. It was so unlike her usual self, who enjoyed terrorizing others. But the thought of scaring you in any way seemed unbearable.
You didn't say anything at first, just pulled her closer and let your lips brush against her cheek. “You won't.
Of course, Shauna wanted to believe, but doubt and insecurity crept in quickly like a shadow looming over her.
What if you changed your mind? What if this was all just pity, and she'd been misreading all the signs? What if you just decided you didn't want her anymore?
Then, you whispered her name and cupped her face, and she forgot how to breathe.
“I'm right here.” You whispered.
Those three words unraveled her completely.
Her mouth found yours, slower this time—less like a raging fire and more like a silent plea for anything you were willing to give her. The kind of kiss that keeps you warm all night. The kind that lingers on your lips for days.
Her hands explored your body—carefully so, as if she didn't want to miss even the smallest detail. She whispered your name over and over like a prayer.
You weren't sure how it happened, all you knew was that Shauna had quickly eased you out of your dress and led you to the bed, climbing on top of you while planting kisses down your jawline.
Shauna's ragged breaths made you shiver. Your hands moved to her shoulders, trying to switch your positions so she'd be under you, until she stopped you.
“Let me,” She whispered into your ear. “Please, just… I wanna make you feel good tonight, yeah?”
Her words had you breathless. All you could do was nod at her request.
Your eyes closed when Shauna claimed your lips again. Her hands held your waist in a way that had you arching up into her. When your fingers tangled in her hair and brushed against her fuzzy ears, Shauna nipped your lip by mistake.
A gasp escaped your mouth and she pulled back to make sure she hadn't hurt you, but the image of you lying there—sprawled out under her, cheeks flushed and looking up at her through half lidded eyes—made Shauna tremble with excitement.
She started kissing and biting down the column of your throat, setting your body on fire each time her fangs grazed your skin.
“You look so beautiful like this,” Shauna panted, tracing your collarbones with her tongue. Your legs wrapped around her, trying to bring her even closer. “So desperate for me, already.”
Her nose buried into the crook of your neck, taking in your scent with a pleased hum. She let her hands wander a bit, and her claws gently ran over your ribs.
“Still okay with this?” She whispered, pressing soft kisses above the red marks on your neck.
Instead of answering, you cupped her face and lifted it from your neck to look at her.
Shauna felt her heart drop, thinking that you were starting to regret it all.
Did I do something wrong?
Much to her surprise, you pulled her close for another kiss, and she could've sworn her insides had become molten lava when your tongue swiped over her lip, asking for permission.
Your hands fumbled with the buttons of her shirt, eager to feel the heat of her skin under your fingers. But when you pushed the fabric down her shoulders, your hands stilled for a second.
Not out of fear. Not out of hesitation.
Several scars scattered across her torso—faint in the low light, most of them long-healed and pale.
And then, you slid your fingertips down her stomach, over the rough edges. Gently, as if you were learning her story straight from her skin.
Shauna sucked in a breath when you touched her bare skin, like you were trying to memorize every single inch of her body. Like you wanted all of her, even the parts she wasn't exactly fond of.
Her hands moved to your covered breasts and gave them an experimental squeeze, earning a shaky sigh from you.
“Can I?” She asked softly, playing with the lacy undergarment. You nodded with a quiet hum, and Shauna dragged down the bra straps, her mouth immediately going dry.
Another squeeze, and Shauna brushed her fingers over your hardened nipples, making you whimper when she rubbed them in circles.
Her ears perked up at your reaction and she repeated the action again and again, until you couldn't wait anymore and tangled a hand in her hair to guide her toward your chest.
Wanting to give you the pleasure you needed so desperately, she started leaving a trail of kisses from your neck to the valley of your chest. She glanced up at you one last time, before taking one of the hard peaks into her mouth.
You gasped and tugged her closer almost instantly. It was a huge ego boost for Shauna, feeling the way you were melting under her and she was barely getting started.
After that, Shauna began moving with more confidence, as if she was eager to get to know your body like the back of her hand. She alternated between both breasts, her tongue swirling and nipping at the stiff buds like she couldn't have enough of you.
Shauna would've spent the rest of her life there, leaving marks across your chest and listening to your sweet whimpers, but she was eager to taste all of you.
Her lips began moving down to your stomach, each kiss leaving you even more breathless and filling you with anticipation, making your hands grip the sheets tightly.
She looked up and met your gaze. You were sure she was done teasing you when her fingers played with the waistband of your panties. Instead of just pulling them down, she dipped between your thighs and began kissing them.
Rough, calloused fingers dug into your skin while she painted the inside of your thighs with more bites. Her claws almost pierced through the flesh, but Shauna still held so gently that your heart fluttered.
Your thighs squeezed Shauna in a way that had her almost aching with desire. Her ears were even flat, making her look like a sweet, docile thing instead of the scary beast she was supposed to be.
“Stop teasing already…” You whispered, brushing the hair away from her already sweaty forehead.
She didn't answer. Only glanced at you for a short second.
Her face descended between your legs again and she left a kiss over the wet patch on your panties. The muscles in your stomach tightened when she began pressing her tongue against the soft material.
Without a warning, she dragged the piece of clothing downward with her teeth.
A sharp intake of breath, followed by a quiet yet excited giggle.
The sound made Shauna's insides turn warm, but the sight was far too enticing to focus on anything else, to keep holding back from taking what she wanted and needed.
Strong hands grabbed your thighs and pushed them further apart. Her gaze honed in on your wetness, her mouth watering in just a second. With the pads of her fingers, she spread you open and her tongue licked a broad stripe up your slit.
Your hips bucked upward, seeking out Shauna's tongue and her warmth. Your head lolled back with a small moan and your eyes drifted closed.
One of her hands gripped your thigh to keep you in place, while the other held your hips down, preventing you from squirming against her face too much.
She devoured you like you were a feast and she was enjoying her last meal. Her claws constantly buried into your skin, drawing small traces of blood that only spurred her on more.
Shauna groaned at the taste. The way your hands buried in her hair and pulled her closer ignited something animalistic in her. Your moans and your trembling body had blood buzzing loudly in her ears, eager to keep pleasuring you.
With a low growl, Shauna lifted one of your legs over her shoulder, her tongue lapping up every single drop of wetness that escaped your core.
Your back arched and your thighs twitched, unable to hold still. You weren't quite sure what to do with your hands, so you just pushed her hair away from her face, sliding your fingers over her ears.
Her eyes opened—brown pools filled with lust and something feral, something primal.
It was almost as if Shauna was desperate to make you hers, make sure no one else would have the chance to touch you. As if she wanted—no, needed to keep you close forever.
All you could do was hold onto her as she brought you closer and closer to the edge. A familiar fire started pooling low in your stomach and grew until it was impossible to hold back.
You came with a cry, her name falling from your lips as your orgasm hit you in waves. All you could hear was the loud drumming of your heartbeat in your ears and your vision turned blurry.
Shauna growled at the way you tensed up under her and she started to kiss the inside of your thighs softly while caressing and squeezing them, letting you ride out your peak.
She pulled away and licked her lips. You noticed that her chin was glistening with the remains of your wetness. Her eyes never left yours.
Your chest was heaving up and down as you tried to catch your breath. You were a complete mess—flushed cheeks, sweaty, and overall exhausted.
But she'd never seen anyone as beautiful as you.
Once the last aftershocks faded and your breathing went back to normal, Shauna kissed her way back up to your lips. You could taste yourself on her tongue, earning a quiet moan from you.
“Are you okay?” She whispered—not because she thought you weren't, but because she needed to hear it, needed you to say it.
“More than okay.” You nodded. “Stay the night?” You murmured while leaving soft kisses on her jaw.
Shauna buried her face in the crook of your neck for a second, and then she lay down beside you. “Only if you want me to.”
The adrenaline still buzzed faintly in her system, but her breathing had begun to steady. One arm draped across your waist, her fingers twitching, as if she was caught between the instinct to hold you close and the fear that you would pull away.
You chuckled softly. Shauna had just given you the most earth-shattering orgasm, and she was still unsure about touching you.
Neither of you spoke, but the silence wasn't awkward. You turned to face her, the dim light of the bedroom casting shadows across her face.
Her fingers brushed a stray lock of hair from your face, and her gaze caught yours. Something in them flickered—trust, maybe. Or at least something similar.
Your hand wandered, moving from her cheek to her shoulder, down to the length of her arm. She shivered beneath your touch, but made no move to stop you.
Shauna watched as your hand trailed across her stomach, over fading bruises and hardened skin.
“What happened here?” You asked with a soft voice as your fingertips found a long, pale scar curving beneath her ribs like a crescent moon.
She was quiet long enough for you to wonder if maybe you'd screwed up by asking and overstepped her boundaries by trespassing somewhere you shouldn't have. But then, she spoke up.
“Pocket knife. Long time ago. Some drunk guy at one of our shows kept bothering my friends. I told him to get lost and tried to get him to leave. Then he stabbed me.” She explained like it was nothing, but you could hear the weight of it in her tone. “Got to the hospital in time. They said I was lucky he missed anything important.”
Gently, your hand moved lower, and your fingers found another scar on her hip—smaller, but still permanent. “What about this one?”
Shauna huffed a quiet laugh. “My sister, Nat, and I used to climb the tent poles when no one was looking back when we were younger. I slipped once.”
Your palm flattened against her stomach. Something in the way a tiny smile lingered on her lips and she relaxed under you told you this memory was stored in a special, tender place in her heart.
“You've mentioned her before. Are you two close?”
Shauna hummed. “We've been through hell together. She means the world to me.” Her gaze remained fixed on the ceiling. “Sometimes I fear she'll get tired of me one day.”
Her claws flexed, curling into the sheets. She didn't meet your eyes.
You didn't press. Instead, you kissed Shauna's shoulder and shifted closer to her. “I think she's proud of you. And I'm sure she loves you just as much as you love her.”
Her expression softened. She looked at you—her eyes were warm and full of affection, and wrapped an arm around you to pull you flush against her.
It wasn't often that Shauna allowed herself to be vulnerable and soft, but with you, it felt almost natural. You never pushed or judged her. You made her feel safe.
You leaned up to give her a kiss—just a small kiss, chaste and soft.
After that, Shauna's eyes slid shut. Her head sank into the pillow and you watched as she fell asleep slowly, listening to the relaxing sound of her breathing as it evened out and her heart beat beneath your touch.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
A few weeks had passed since that night. Shauna came by whenever she could, slipping into your world like it was the most natural thing. Shauna had a way of making you feel lighter and happier without even trying—like you'd known each other for years.
For her, it was a kind of peace she rarely let herself have. But she knew the opportunity of keeping someone like you close was too good to let it pass.
“You should come to one of the shows,” she told you one evening while she was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching as you stirred a pot of pasta. “Why don't you come by this Friday? It'll be fun—kind of. We can hang after.”
But when Friday arrived, she hadn't expected to feel that nervous.
Shauna stood behind the curtain, her claws flexing and ears flat against her head with unease while she waited for her cue to come out.
The air was thick with the overwhelming scent of sweat and popcorn. The ringmaster cracking unfunny bad jokes definitely didn't help the tight sensation in her chest that she didn't want to name or even acknowledge.
Her mind drifted to you. She still hadn't told Natalie about you, and the thought made her feel even more anxious than before.
“Last show of the season.” Someone announced backstage. Shauna tried not to be bothered by it—her palms were already too clammy to worry about yet another thing.
From the edge of the curtain, she scanned the crowd, until she found who she was looking for.
There you were, sitting in the second row. White sundress, leaning forward with a smile like you were drinking in every second of the show. Shauna's chest ached at the sight.
But then, she noticed something else.
A man, standing near the rear post of the tent, a cigarette dangling from his lips, and his right middle finger crowned with a big ring, a blue center stone on it. He was dressed too well for a place like that. Hat dipped low, shadowing half of his face.
The sinking feeling in her gut was unmistakable. She'd seen him before, but just couldn't recall where she recognized him from.
Her instincts whispered a single word: trouble.
The ringmaster's voice boomed, along with the familiar roar of the crowd, interrupting Shauna from her thoughts.
The curtains opened and Shauna stepped onto the stage. Her skin glowed gold under the blinding spotlight. She could feel everyone watching and staring at her—hungry for violence, waiting for something feral to gawk at.
She gave it to them.
A guttural growl, followed by the clatter of her restraints hitting the floorboards. The front row flinched when Shauna broke free from them with a snarl, hissing like a wildcat with a powerful and untamed grace.
The crowd went wild, as they always did.
From the corner of her eye, she caught your smile. It helped steady her frantic heartbeat.
Unfortunately, she didn't notice the man was gone until it was too late.
The scent of smoke reached her first—faint and barely even there, at the back of her throat. She assumed it was just the stale smell of cigarettes, until the horses shrieked behind the curtain.
Then, people started screaming.
“Fire!” Someone shouted, and panic erupted through the tent instantly. It was hard to make out what anyone was trying to say with all the screams.
Bright orange flames started blooming where hay bales were stacked in the back of the tent, flames leaping from post to post with a terrifying speed.
The black smoke thickened, making Shauna's eyes and throat burn. She could hear someone knocking over a lantern in panic, a child crying somewhere, and the crackling sound of fire.
Shauna was frozen in place, until the smell of burning flesh hit her, and she bolted.
She dragged one of the animal handlers away from the flames, eyes looking around frantically—where were you? Where was Natalie?
The sound of harsh coughing made her ears perk up and she finally spotted you, struggling to lift a collapsed curtain off one of the younger performers. Shauna lunged forward, tearing through the canvas with her claws. The boy scurried away with tears rolling down his dirty cheeks.
Shauna grabbed you by the waist and shoved you toward the exit.
“You have to go!”
“But you—!”
“Now!”
She turned back into the smoke, her lungs burning as she looked for Natalie, but all she could see was just a big, dark cloud.
Then—a flicker of dark hair, and the familiar pair of pointy ears on top, standing somewhere near the supply crates
Natalie.
She's safe.
Their eyes met across the haze.
Natalie didn’t smile.
The flames grew closer, heat clawing at her back. Shauna didn't stop to think twice—she ran toward Natalie and grabbed her wrist, pushing through the suffocating smoke.
The tent collapsed behind them right as they made it outside. Shauna doubled over, coughing violently and rubbing her eyes that stung from the ash and heat.
“What were you thinking?! Why were you just standing there?” She asked, but Natalie didn't answer.
Shauna glanced up and froze.
Natalie was glaring at her sharply—a mix of pain, fury, and betrayal swirling in her eyes.
“Was this your plan all along?”
Shauna's breath caught in her throat. She was speechless. The accusation wouldn't have mattered to her if it came from anyone else.
But this was Natalie. Her closest friend. Her sister. Her only real family.
“What are you—”
“You wanted this.” Natalie's voice was low, shaking—like she couldn't quite believe her own words. “Don't pretend you didn't.”
She clenched her jaw. Her hands were still trembling, and her lungs still burned. But nothing hurt like hearing Natalie speaking to her like that.
“You think I wanted this?” Shauna rasped out, almost choking on her words. “You think I'd risk your life? The rest of the crew and the animals? All these people?” She shook her head. “There was a weird man—standing by the hay bales, he was smoking. I swear. Maybe he dropped his cigarette, but it wasn't me. I promise it wasn't me!”
Natalie didn't answer right away. Her face was dirty with ash and soot, eyes glossy and shimmering with emotion. It wasn't just anger—there was disappointment in them, too. Shauna couldn't decide which hurt more.
“You have to believe me, Nat…” She tried once more, but she knew how stubborn Natalie could be sometimes.
“Do you really think I don't remember our little chat a few weeks ago?” Natalie muttered. “You wanted out. If you're gonna lie to everyone else, fine. But don't lie to me.”
Shauna took a step back, stunned.
Natalie turned before Shauna could even think about stopping her. She walked away, limping slightly. Her silhouette was swallowed by the crowd and the flicker of emergency lights. Shauna didn't move.
Didn't speak.
Didn't chase her.
She stood frozen in place, long after the firetrucks pulled up and the crowd thinned. Ash clung to her skin and lashes. The bitter taste of soot sat heavy on her tongue. Somewhere behind her, someone called her name.
A small part of her hoped it was Natalie, but she knew it was you.
You found her still standing near what used to be the tent's exit. Her clothes and skin were stained with black streaks. She was staring into the distance.
At first, you didn't say anything else. Just stepped up beside her and touched her arm—gently, careful not to startle her.
“Shauna,” You said softly.
No answer. Her gaze was still locked on the direction where Natalie had disappeared.
Where did she even go?
What if something happens to her?
“She thinks I did this.” Shauna muttered, her voice flat like it was devoid of emotion.
You watched the way her claws dug into her palms and eased them before she hurt herself.
“Do you?” She asked, finally turning to look at you with glassy eyes. “Do you think I did this?”
“No.” Your answer was firm. “Of course I don't.”
Shauna's gaze dropped and she sighed. “She's never coming back. I can feel it.”
“Hey,” You stepped in front of her, cupping her cheeks and guiding her to look at you. “She will. Give her some time. Maybe she was just… shocked.”
There was a shimmer in her eyes that resembled cracked glass. She wasn't crying, not exactly—or, perhaps, she was just holding the tears back.
She looked exhausted and drained from any energy left in her system.
So you took her hand.
“I didn't want it to end like this,” She whispered. “I was tired of it, but…”
“I know.” Your thumb traced small, comforting patterns over her knuckles, following the curve of a small scar. “It's not your fault. They will find whoever did this.”
That's when she broke. Not in an overly emotional way—she just let her shoulders sag and allowed you to pull her into your embrace.
Shauna knew the police wouldn't care about a circus full of freaks burning down. If anything, they'd probably be glad it was gone.
Yet, her mind stayed fixed on the look of disappointment she saw in her sister's eyes before she left.
Her head rested against your shoulder. You could feel her body trembling slightly. It hurt knowing that no amount of comfort could heal the hole in her heart.
Shauna had wished for freedom for years. But now that she finally had it, she'd never felt more lost. Only the hollow weight in her chest remained.
Her gaze flicked once more to the fading crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone that was already long gone.
All she found was the scent of smoke clinging to the air—sharp, overpowering, and bitter as regret.
