The Enemy You Must Destroy

I am Aiden Shepard, Commander of the Normandy SR-2. I am a Spectre, and I'll do whatever it takes to save the damn galaxy. But after that? After that it's humanity and me. The Reapers are only delaying that appointment. I'll make them pay for that. [ Indie Renegade Shepard account, I own nothing but the words I type, and I shall credit otherwise when I can.]

[secondhumanspectre-blog]

  His words were honest. It was true, they weren’t the crafted whispers of poets hundreds years past. They weren’t gilded or artistic, falling from lips like ambrosia with wild promises and grandeur. No, they were blunt, and truthful, but striking. 

A brow lifted at his admission, and any strength Ash could muster to keep herself from smirking was surely lost at his words. Her face felt warm suddenly, making some sort of instinct demand that she look away, that she hide it. But as Shepard’s embarrassment shifted to that of a confident smirk, that, Ashley couldn’t find herself looking away from. Her eyes locked with his, and suddenly her face felt too warm, too flushed, making her bite her lip and grin as if that would suddenly stop everything.

It didn’t. But there was always Plan B.

Her chin lifted, eyes lidded and smirk in place, as if daring him to taunt her for the same ailment (a blush—God, she should know better, damn it) that Shepard himself suffered. Her pulse was quick, her heart beating loud beneath the cage of bones that held her together. 

But when Williams spoke, her words betrayed none of the quavering sappiness that she was reduced to thanks to Shepard. Her words, as ever, were brassy, confident, challenging. He’d have to try harder, though at this rate, it was a losing battle.

"Oh, yeah? How crazy are we talking about?"

But hell, Ashley could think of worse defeats. If losing meant having the First Human Spectre admitting he was damned crazy for her, then maybe she didn’t need a victory after all—that was one in its own right.

"Because I think I might need a better idea of what I’m dealing with. You know, so I can work up the right response…"

[aiden-shepard]

That was, indeed, a question worth asking.

Aiden himself didn't quite have a clear answer towards his insanity regarding Ashley Williams. It was greater than anything he had ever encountered in his life, yet more incomprehensible than his first encounter with the Prothean Beacon. Putting it into words was the most difficult challenge he had endured in a while. Between this, and facing down a Banshee, he'd take the Banshee in a heartbeat. At the very least, there was no need to explain anything to a figure that just wanted to ram its hand through his torso.

Unfortunately, and fortunately for Aiden, there was no escaping this particular fate. He could not turn from her, and he absolutely refused to flee. The both of them deserved better than that, and if she wanted to hear this, then he'd endure his own awkward mindset. He'd lay it on the line for her, in ways that he never had before. For Ashley Williams, he'd allow himself to be at his weakest.

"I keep forgetting how much of a pest you can be. Thanks for reminding me."

Not even her blush, beautiful and ego-sustaining as though it was, could bring him to forget that. Ashley Williams was one of the finest soldiers the Alliance had ever, and likely would ever produce, but she was also a pest without peer. A thin smirk pressed along his lips at that, spurred on by the words he'd ever say. His heart pounded to a degree that he could hear it in his ears, he could feel a twitch in his hands, but if he didn't say it now, he'd never be ready to.

"I haven't felt like this for a long time, and back then, I'd never have the courage to say it. Hard to believe, isn't it? I can stare down a species bent on galactic annihilation, but stringing together a few pretty words is just a line that I can't cross. It speaks to what I feel about you. And if this is the answer you want, then you'll get it:

You're the type of woman that I could give up what I do on shore leaves for. I never thought I'd say that, but I didn't think about a lot of things like this when it came to you. I also never thought that someone could give me peace like you do. After this war, I intended to continue fighting until someone blew my head off my shoulders. When I look at you, I can think about a future somewhere on Earth, with my gut hanging out over my waist, and feeling happy with that.

Everything that you do makes me want to be better. I'll never be a better man, but you make me want to try. You make me want to be better, because for once in my life, I want to make someone happy."

[secondhumanspectre-blog]

  Was he blushing?

Oh, Lord. Commander Shepard, First Human Spectre, Hero of the Citadel, and destroyer of the Omega relay was blushing. Had someone told Ashley Williams that such a thing was possible, she would’ve laughed in their face. Yet there he was, smiling back at her, and suddenly she wasn’t looking at the Commander, but Aiden. His hands held hers, to which Williams used to her advantage by tugging him closer. It was tempting, to point out the boyish grin and the flushed face, but somehow, Ashley didn’t want to spoil the moment.

Shepard looked younger when he smiled like that. For once, he looked care-free. No worries to cause the creases on his face, to make his gaze heavy, his voice stern. She wanted to see that more, to see him like that more. God, Ashley really did pick the best time to fall when it came down to it. Sarah definitely wasn’t going to let this go when she told her, either.

Still worth it.

"Just what I want to hear. Because I’ll be damned if we’re letting a bunch of space bugs take us out.” Her face dipped down for a second, fighting off the tide of reality that threatened to swallow both of them whole. But Williams bayed it back. Just for this moment, she wanted to ignore what was really going on out there. If only for a small bit of time. If only here. "That so, huh? So how’s the view looking?"

[aiden-shepard]

The silence between the damnable fluster that crossed his cheeks, and her next words told him all he needed to do. She was just as awed by his own tinge of pink as he was! If there was anything he could have done without, authenticity of his person or not, it was the ability to blush a pretty pink. Cerberus could have done him that favour, but the Illusive Man was nothing if not a cruel sort. Here he was, blushing for her, feeling as if he was a kid with a crush, and there was no force in the world that could stop him.

When it came to her question about the view, he found himself pausing for thought. He was not one of those poets that Ashley admired, and Tennyson would likely cringe at his prose. A rose by any other name was just a rose to him, and that was that. He had come to far to just brush it off as well. Caught in the middle, he felt trapped, and smothered by the warmth that he had helped to create,

The entrapment of affection was a new, and surprising feeling to him. Even so, he found himself drawn to it. Years seemed to be taken away from his aching and agony, leaving him only with serenity. With her, he could openly smile, and forget the pain plaguing him. He felt like a different man in moments like this, and a better man. She made him a better man, through these tantalizing touches, and through those teasing barbs of hers.

Who knew that all it took to make Aiden Shepard a man, rather than an extension of violent ambition, was a woman without peer.

"It's looking a lot better than the views I am used to," he admitted, a cheeky smirk forming as the 'pause' in his feelings subsided. "That's not saying much, but it's the truth. You're a damn sight better than even the finest ship in the galaxy, or the finest battle one. You're an exceptional kind of woman, and I guess that's why I'm so damned crazy for you."

[secondhumanspectre-blog]

  Aiden Shepard’s words were always serrated with harsh truths or firm orders. And if you really screwed up, that serration was even sharper in reprimand, capable of cutting tungsten and diamond alike. He wasn’t a man that allowed failure or distraction, not when an entire galaxy was on the line.

But when he spoke now, his tone was different. Whether it was ego or something else, Ashley liked to think that it was a tone he reserved only for her, something she reciprocated in kind with softer words of her own. She ducked her head then, letting her veil of dark hair obscure a smile. If Sarah saw her now, she knew for sure her sister wouldn’t hesitate to laugh at the idea of Ashley Williams, second human Spectre, getting gushy over something like this. 

"I want you too." It was simply said, but Ash liked that. The galaxy was so muddled in politics and deceit and a whole other slew of lies. But with each other, they always knew where they stood. Simple was good, Ashley thought, as her hands traced a path along his arms. They paused at his wrists, and she looked up at him then, waiting him to complete the motion of her actions. "I want this too. No matter what happens out there, I’m with you. So you better not die again… Sir.”

[aiden-shepard]

Loyalty, and desire like that which Ashley voiced was a rarity to him. Never before had those two desires coalesced in a way that he could admire. Loyalty had to be kept clean of all those otherwise muddled desires, lest it be frayed from conflict, and weakened by division. Desire, meanwhile, was a fleeting thing, to be used, and discarded just as quickly. Ashley had accomplished the impossible, bringing those two things together in a manner that made sense, and appealed to a man who once wanted nothing to do with the two things intermingling.

Unlike Ashley, Aiden had no alternative when it came to obscuring his smile. His hair was cut far too short for any such thing, and any motion to conceal his lips with his hand would seem to obvious. In the end, he was the architect of his own destruction, and could only commit himself to a smile of his own. His smile was shy, but honest, more honest than most of what he attempted to conduct himself as. But for her, he'd display that shy smile, and allow her to see the touch of pink colouring his cheeks. She could tease him if she wished, but this would only happen at her hands.

The words that reached his ears were simple, and the intention behind them was known. There was no ambiguity with which to hide in, and no ulterior motives to consider. Want was want, and companionship was companionship. Her touch against his arm was practiced, tempting, and satisfying to the touch. Too this, he could only bring his hands upwards, attempting to clasp his hands in her own. This was a moment that was practically begging to be ruined, but for once, Joker seemed to hold his tongue.

"I'm not going to drop dead until I'm old and fat. The both of us will be waiting a long time for that. Until then, when my attention's not on kicking the Reapers out of my galaxy, it's on you."

[secondhumanspectre-blog]

  Intimacy was no stranger to Ashley Williams, but it was hard earned. She’d had her share of blowing off steam on shore leaves, just as many marines are wont to do. But there was always a disconnect, a distance; hurried actions between two people in those rare moments of freedom wedged between tours and missions. There wasn’t intimacy, nothing more than a physical closeness that faded come morning. True intimacy, trust, affection—these weren’t strangers to Ashley, but she hadn’t felt them in a long, long time. 

But she knew what she wanted. Even if she was rusty. Even if he was unfamiliar with it all. There wasn’t an easy way to summarize the bond between them, but what could be said was that Ashley cared. What could be said was that she knew what she wanted. She wanted him, and for once in this galaxy, it was as simple as that.

"Is that supposed to scare me? After everything we’ve been through? Come on, Skipper." Williams merely offered that trademark smirk of hers, paired with a raised brow as if to point out that she wasn’t the least bit fazed. "I’m not turning back. Not unless you want me to."

[aiden-shepard]

Williams' smirk revealed that his last gambit to scare her off had failed, and that it had not been a very good gambit in the first place. For a woman that represented, and exemplified the best that the galaxy had to offer, a few 'spooky' words from her commander wouldn't turn her off. The fact that he had hoped for it to do so was an insult, both to her, and what she represented. Once more, he had made himself a fool, and once more, it had been solely due to his own efforts to push her away.

Thankfully for the both of them, Aiden was not allowed the time to contemplate his attitude. Instead, he was made to think about what he wanted. Up until this woman had stepped into his life, all he had ever wanted was to complete his mission. Everything else was secondary, or even ancillary. Ashley, through her maddening way of being. . .maddening had changed that! If he was honest with himself, only two things mattered: the mission, and Ashley Williams.

"You always did have a habit of sticking your heels in the ground. I guess that's where you and I share similar attitudes," he admitted, chastened by her last words to him. There were many ways where he could have extradited himself from his situation, but he had remained. He knew this, and he knew he was the architect of his own destruction. A harsh breath was taken, followed by a shake of his head. "I want you, Williams. However this galaxy is going to play out, and however this war goes, I want you to know that. I want you."

[secondhumanspectre-blog]

  "Well. You sure know how to sweep a girl off her feet…" Ash trailed off with a mock roll of her eyes, but there’s still that trademark smirk as she said it. "Then again, tempting her with bubblegum duty is the oldest trick in the book."

And just like that, Shepard closed up again. What he thinks about isn’t important, what he wants isn’t important; unless that want is related to his mission, it doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t matter. 

"Bullshit. It’s important to me."

Williams kept her gaze on him, watched as he scowled past his internal thoughts, as he closed himself off once more. The Commander could do that all he liked for the war, the media, the crew. But she didn’t want him to do that to her. Maybe that was selfish. Maybe it was simply because she cared for him. 

"Hey. It’s got character." And Ashley hummed then, gloved hands tracing along his cheekbone before she could even stop herself. There was a part of her, embarrassed, but the rest of her merely looked back at Aiden as if there was still an unspoken challenge between them. "Maybe it’s both. You never know, Skipper."

[aiden-shepard]

The slow and gentle art of 'sweeping a woman off her feet' was lost on a man such as Aiden. His rough and tumble upbringing on Earth hadn't given him much in the way of timeless romance, and it was difficult to pick up on those tips and tricks in the Alliance. His focus had always been on the mission,, and on getting it done. If there was ever a release between them, it was simple, brief, and without any lingering excess. As such, it was little surprise that his 'romantic touch' was rather non-existent.

Before he could linger on his inability to say what he wanted, and what he thought, Ashley spoke again. Her call of 'bullshit' both angered him, and served as a source of satisfaction. For one thing, it had shown that his mantra of 'the mission is all-important' had met with partial failure. On the other hand, however, her words were a relief. When he was old and crippled, at least someone would consider him as something of value. Even if that person happened to be as blunt, and as snarky as it could get.

Any effort to open his mouth was forgotten with the trail of her gloved fingers against his cheek. Shore leave had brought feelings like this, but never the warmth, and comfort that this touch brought. Her movements were an anomaly, awakening things in him he never thought were born, let alone having died! Heat spiraled and twisted in his gut, bringing his fingers to twitch, knowing that he wanted much more than a simple caress.

"You're treading on dangerous ground," he warned, casting his gaze away from her to betray nothing of his intentions. "Pick your path wisely."

[secondhumanspectre-blog]

  "Right. And just where are we going to find that much bubble-gum, by the way? Either way, I’m not volunteering for chewing duty." It was always her way, to deflect that weight, that severity that pressed down on their shoulders with a halfhearted joke. "They’ll get the job done, either way. Even Kenneth—guy always was a little weird, though."

The smile faded from her, and Williams almost looked away then as she saw Aiden. These moments, these cracks in the facade, felt more like something that should be kept private. But how many times had she had such moments too, only for him to be there as support? So, Williams didn’t duck her head, didn’t look away. She fell in step beside him, a gloved hand coming to rest on his forearm as if that’d somehow loosen the tightened muscles from curled fists.

"It’s not about what you expect. I’m here for the long haul, whether you like it or not. You don’t need to demand that, Skipper. It just is." And maybe that was too close, too sentimental and cheesy, so before Ashley could even hear a remark from Aiden on that, she pushed on. "You probably could, what with all those upgrades Cerberus did. But let’s not—I like your face better this way."

[aiden-shepard]

Only Ashley Williams could think to touch him like this, and not end up with a cold glance, or a threat for her efforts. Unlike everybody else in his crew, she was the one that he opened up to. In vengeance, in spite, in co-operation, and in something even approaching light, she had earned his respect. The shouting they had leveled towards one another, and the fights concocted had helped as well, and had given him a greater appreciation for who might have been his foil. From his time of tension, her touch loosened that ache, leaving him just shaking his head at his own loss of cool.

"I'll hold you to that, Williams. If you ever change your mind, I'll be the first one out to drag your ass on back. I'm. . .no, what I'm thinking isn't important."

What he meant to say was that 'he was not as much of a Commander as he could be without her'. That, however, was a step too far for him to honestly profess. Instead, he did what he could to grimace, and practically swallow his own tongue.

"My face, beaten to hell and back? I'm note sure if you're trying to butter me up, or if you've taken enough knocks to the head to think of this as something to like."

[aiden-shepard]

And that was always how it stood between them. A constant battle of pushing and pulling, a clash of emotion and reason and faith and results. Between Ashley and Aiden, there wasn’t a way to simply be content or at peace, not for long. They were always challenging one another, provoking the other to keep fighting—even if it meant fighting one another.

But even legends could be equals. Ash had no qualms about speaking up to her superiors, but that thought had taken Williams a while to come to terms with. Sometimes, she wonders if it’s because she had finally grown to feel proud of her worth, of her name, or if he had helped push her to.

"From the sounds of it, you’re probably going to have to pull the rest of engineering in as well. Not to mention some heavy machinery that you’re only going to find on the Citadel. That, or whatever’s left floating in Arcturus."

"I'll scrape together whatever's necessary to keep this ship running. If I've learned anything about fighting this damned war in my mind, it's that I've lost the opportunity to be picking. The ship will run on bubblegum and biotics, if that's what it comes down to. The engineering team will come back with their shields, or on them.

I expect they'll do whatever it takes to make sure the second thing doesn't come to pass."

Failure after failure had frustrated him, and even his own victories seemed to by more Pyrrhic than purposeful. He felt his fists clenching, and a dull ache thump at the back of his head. If it had not been for his particular brand of company, all that aching might have been so much worse. In knowing this, he shook his head at what he was to say next. These words were to go against the strength he emphasized in himself, but if it meant saving himself an ache worse than a concussive round, he'd say them in an instant.

"Until then, I expect you to stick with me. You're the closest thing to an equal that I have, and you're keeping me from trying to figure out if I can dent the insides of the Normandy with my skull."

[aiden-shepard]

Paging Commander Hard-Ass...

"Commander Hard-Ass here, training orbital cannon sights on your most recent location for the nickname."

[aiden-shepard]

Hey, Skipper. Are we ever gonna go for round two? Unless you'd rather live it up as the resident sorry ass pretender, that is.

"'Resident sorry ass pretender' is more your speed, Williams," he shot back, with a lopsided grin to his words. "No amount of rounds is going to change that."

[aiden-shepard]

ooh hot shelving with the lt commandah hot a what

"That is exactly how it goes, yes."

[aiden-shepard]

Reprieve II secondhumanspectre

[secondhumanspectre-archive-blog]

“Wasn’t saying you weren’t tough, but you’re still wearing sunscreen,” Ashley didn’t remark on that reminder of his death. Her gaze had fallen not at the mention of it, but moreso that lurking memory during that final run towards the beam back on London. Of course Shepard had recovered fine from it, hell, his demeanor seemed even more confident without the ever present threat of Reapers on the table anymore. But confidence didn’t make you immune to everything, even a damn sunburn, and for that reason did Williams not relent. “I don’t think you’d want to fight another Spectre over this issue. Sir.”

The soldier hit the button to open the doors for the shuttle after they landed, before lifting herself out of the chair and taking a peek at the beach before her. Her eyes seemed to squint some against the light, before casting a look over her shoulders towards Aiden, as if to hurry him up. They’d spent enough time in shuttles, after all.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were the ones coming up with these names…” Ash trailed off. Smirking some, Williams leaned over to lightly nudge Shepard with her shoulder. “So, what’s first on the agenda for shore leave? And don’t say we’re fighting another clone.”

[aiden-shepard]

"I did not lose the appetite for war as soon as the last Reaper fell, Williams. If I can't extend a fist and expect to hit ten husks along the way, then I will take my fight elsewhere. Fighting a Spectre is the best competition that I can get, and there's never been a more challenging opponent than you. You're as tough as you are maddening. Just because the war has ended doesn't mean that I'm going to stop fighting. It just means that I'm going to be fighting you more often."

Whether Ashley had the panache to respond to his sermon or not was beyond his concern. They had arrived at a location that was amenable in the mind of the woman, and she apparently had no desire to continue butting heads with him. Although his ego was bruised by the missed opportunity, he knew that there were better things to focus on. Namely, the idea of having the woman all to himself, in a relatively secluded, yet balmy area. That was enough to keep himself from barking like the dog that he was, and instead, caused him to follow after the woman's insistent movements. 

The notion of him making up these names as he went along drew a wry smile, before a pointed shake of the head put an end to that. "If I was making up these names, everywhere that I went would be prefixed with 'Handsome'," he replied, to say nothing of 'Little Dix Bay'. "As for the agenda. . .I can't say. What will say that if a clone appears, I'm drowning it the first chance I get.

I've had enough of clones."

[aiden-shepard]

Reprieve ll secondhumanspectre

[secondhumanspectre-archive-blog]

“You did not just ask me that,” Ashley couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the question, though the intent was still well-humored. It wasn’t often that she sat in the cockpit, and it was downright unsettling to be sitting in a shuttle without her armor on, especially with Shepard driving. She could already remember the harrowing times spent in the Mako.

“Besides, you said you’d surprise me. You better not plan on disappointing me, Skipper,” Her voice had that teasing tone to it, usually only reserved for him. The silence lapsed a few seconds as she watched the islands grow closer and closer to them, before letting out a small half-smile. They needed a break after all that happened, especially after all that happened. And Ashley was glad that Aiden shared that same idea. “But honestly? Just park me on any beach that’s nice and I won’t care what it’s called. Hope you brought sunscreen, Commander—looks like you’re the type that can burn easily.”

[aiden-shepard]

"The last time I suffered any burn of significance was when I was locked in a struggle of gravity with a planet. That turned out well," Aiden replied, with all the humour that a man could muster after that kind of experience. "For me, not for the planet. I managed to save the galaxy from a bunch of Reapers. I haven't seen that planet do anything significant in a while. What I'm saying is that I'll manage through any burn. I'm tough."

Aiden was not quite sure what he was trying to gain from this show of 'machismo', He supposed that, if anything, the sense of triumph he had gleaned from the catalyst had bled into his daily life. Aiden Shepard had triumphed over the Reaper horde, like hell was he going to submit to something mundane like sunscreen. Still, the former portion of Ashley's words were taken to heart, and soon, he parked on the portion of the Virgin Islands most apt for their exploration.

"Handsome Bay," he intoned, with a glint of a smirk upon his lips. "Fitting."

[aiden-shepard]

Reprieve ll secondhumanspectre

After the mother of all universal conflicts, there was nothing quite like a reprieve. The dust had settled, and the world had managed to return to relative normalcy, just as Shepard too had managed to avoid death. He did not know if it was due to some quirk in the Catalyst, or some other thing, but he didn't quite care either. All that mattered was that the Reapers were dead, and that he was home. Through yet another quirk, Ashley, and the rest of his crew managed to return as well. As far as the scarred male observed, the universe appeared to be throwing him a fair amount of quirks.

His reuniting with the crew was a brief, and prompt affair, as it should have been. They had all done their duties, and now, the majority of them had to attend to the after-effects of conflict. To some, that meant trying to retreat to the furthest reaches of space, despite the state of the relays, in an effort to reconnect with home. In the case of a few others, it meant touching down on Earth, either to help with the rebuilding process, or to simply rest upon their honestly-gotten gains. For Aiden, that meant taking time away with a certain comrade of his.

It had not taken much persuading to goad Ashley Williams into some time away with them. She was a warrior first, yes, but so was he. The both of them were entitled to some rest, before they went back to the business of helping the galaxy find the rest of its ass. That was why he had commandeered a shuttle to take them towards a preferred location, with typical 'reclining' fare stuffed in the back. As he took sight of the dots of islands before them, a simple question remained on his mind, and was asked with all the seriousness that he could allot to such a thing.

"What about Little Dix, Williams?"

[aiden-shepard]

Shepard, what should one do when a group of chemists die? You barium.

What do you call a whimsical convict? A silicon.

[secondhumanspectre-archive-blog]

“I’d rather you keep the abs. With all due respect.”

[aiden-shepard]

"I don't think that there are many exercises that will let me keep my abs with all the due respect I'll be giving you. It's a shame, but you'll learn to love the gut."

[secondhumanspectre-archive-blog]

  “That almost sounded romantic, Skipper. You’re not going soft on me, are you?”

[aiden-shepard]

"You almost sound like you want that kind of soft thinking from me. I won't go that far in the future, but once the war's over, I'll develop a nice, soft beer gut just for you."

[secondhumanspectre-archive-blog]

“Is that a bit of jealousy I hear?”

[aiden-shepard]

"I'd only be jealous if there was a chance of losing you."