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@aidenjuly-blog
For once in my life, Iāve decided not to play it safe and take a fewĀ ānormalā risks. Saturday night, I want to go out to a few bars. I pledged not to get wasted Friday but Saturday, Iām throwing caution to the wind. Would anyone of age care to join me?
Iām not really one for bars and parties myself but I hope you do find someone to go out with and have a good time. I know itās something quote a few people do enjoy.
PM: Hey dude, I just wanted to thank you for your help the other day. I did watch those video's you sent to me. It was good to learn more.
PM: Iām very glad I could be of help. Thatās my job and also something Iām generally interested in. if thereās ever a topic youāre curious about, please let me know!
Iāve always been this way, and it can get me in trouble with some of the more strict Dominants, unfortunately. I guess they donāt like a sub who is so self assured and headstrong. Fucking ridiculous. But anywho, heels are pretty much my life. I have some that just sit there and look pretty. Itās sort of becoming a bad habit. Itās nice to meet you, though, Sir.Ā
Dominant or not, nobody should be telling you who to be and who not to be. Thatās something thatās up to you and nobody else. I hope youāre having a good first few days and havenāt run into any of those troublesome individuals yet?
Hola
Introductions are always awkward, so letās just get through it and weāll all be better. Ā My name is Daniela Lopez, Iām a submissive, and Iām enrolled in the General Degree in Submission program here at NYCDS. Ā I look forward to meeting all of you.
I could not agree more. The best part of introductions is when theyāre over. Itās a pleasure to meet you, Daniela. Iām Aiden July, resident Guidance Counselor. I hope youāre finding your way alright?
I still have so many boxes to unpack. Ugh. You never realize how much shit you actually have until you have to pack it all up and then unpack it again. Why do I have so many stilettos? Oh yeah, because theyāre fucking badass.Ā
But to the point Ā ā Iām Griffin Harper, newest resident here at Sinclair Apartments. Pro-sub, lover of high end things and having rich men shower me in gifts. Hello.Ā
Well, itās always nice to see someone have such a good grasp of who they are, if nothing else. And while Iām not sure Iād use the labelĀ ābadassā, I do believeĀ stilettos can be very pretty and Iām a firm believer of giving into a passion at least every now and again as well.
Aiden July, resident Guidance Counselor.
FTF || Aiden&Marls
āThatās what I had thought too. I work best when Iām given rules to follow and a good structure of what to expect.ā She nodded a little.Ā āI did have withdrawal issues from the moment I was marked to when I came to Dalton over the summer. I ignored my submissive instincts so much that I gave myself anxiety problems.ā Marley sighed and tugged hard at a strand of hair. āI just want this nauseous feeling in my gut to stop. I hate confrontation. When I mentioned to him about taking some time apart, he accused me of giving up on him and that he wasĀ āwasting my timeā. No one is ever, ever a waste of my time. Itās making me believe that Iām a bad girl, a bad friend for not knowing how to help him. He also said that I talk too much?ā Marley gave him a puzzled look, laughing bitterly.
"Not catering to who we are can do that to us. Itās essential to us -- we wouldnāt expect to be perfectly fine if we stopped drinking water either so we canāt expect to be unaffected by not submitting or dominating.ā He agreed.Ā āThatās why I think a break is going to do you well -- you get to remove yourself from the situation for a while and take care of yourself. -- Correct me if Iām wrong but you said this conversation started with him telling you were rude and dramatic for feeling the way that you do. That is far from a healthy thing to tell anybody so needing to step away is absolutely fine and doesnāt make you a bad person, friend or submissive in the slightest. Youāre not removing yourself from the situation because you donāt want to help him or donāt know how to help him -- youāre removing yourself because his lashing out at you, as understandable as it might be given the situation, is harmful to you. Youāre establishing a boundary and thatās a really, really great thing. The talking too much thing just goes back to where we started with this conversation -- itās your strongest tool, you should ever feel like you canāt utilize it to your heartās content unless what youāre saying is offensive to someone else.ā
I canāt imagine why anyone would think that seeking help from someone else is harmful, or a sign of weakness. Iām very in touch with my emotions, and I know that, if I need it, then I should be talking to someone about what I can do to make myself feel better. Sitting in my own sadness wouldnāt doĀ well for anyone ā thatās how people end up becoming cranky, and cynical, and thatās when they snap at people they shouldnāt. Itās unfair, really, to stay in that position when youāre not only puttingĀ yourselfĀ at risk, but youāre putting the people around you at risk, too.
Youāre very welcome, Sir. Like I said, this topic is something thatās very important to me, so Iām willing to discuss whatever I can, especially if itāll help people feel more connected and more aware of whatās going on with themselves, and possibly others.
Exactly. Everybody needs to go at their own speed and I know depending on what weāre battling with, finding the courage and motivation to make that first phone call can be tricky but thereās always help out there and thereās always a way to make our current situation better. Especially if itās affecting every day life or people around you, I think itās time to look into available options.Ā
Iām always really happy to hear from people whoāve had such positive experiences with the topic -- I feel like this is the sort of thing that will give others hope and motivation even more so than anything I could say. After all, IāmĀ āsupposed to say thatā but trusting you right off the bat might be a bit easier.
[Private]
As long as it doesnāt turn into a witchhunt. Trench coats have long since been banned in schoolās for those reasons.
I suppose, but what happens to those that wonāt accept shit is wrong or wonāt get help? Do you feel like youāve failed that person when shit happens to them because you had no clue what was going on in the dark? Or they arenāt ringing any alarming bells that might cause you to think otherwise? Although I suppose if you never knew you can wash your hands clean. I never said the dinners were awkward. More like finger pointing and guilt tripping to high hell. You canāt accuse me or get frustrated by my actions if there arenāt any actions to report. Whatās wrong with pretending? This way you can still go about your day after shit has happened. Isnāt that the point ofĀ āhealingā. Getting over shit? You wonāt ring any alarms and folks wonāt feel obligated to goĀ āAre you alright?ā because you wonāt have a large sign around your neck sayingĀ āIāM IN DISTRESS!ā. Just pull through and keep it moving. The world doesnāt need to stop or know because youāre hurting. It doesnāt revolve around me therefore why would I need to put myself in a place like that?Ā
No withchunts from my side, no.
Generally, someone who doesnāt realize something is wrong or wonāt get help doesnāt come to see me. If something was to happen with someone in my private life, I canāt lie and say I wouldnāt wonder whether I should have noticed something but I try my very best to separate my job from my private life.Ā āGetting over shitā might be part of healing, yes, but more in theĀ āworking through what happenedā way rather than theĀ āshoving it all into the back corner of the closet and hoping the door never bursts openā kind of way. If we just repress an issue, it doesnāt go away and there will always be something that can make them all come out at once again so going to therapy and learning ways to cope and deal with our past is really important in those instances.
Of course, Sir. This is a topic I hold very near and dear to my heart for a variety of reasons, and I think itās important to sort of put these issues up on the debate table instead of holding them away, or acting as they should be shameful. Seeking out help when youāre feeling a certain way is something I consider a great strength, and knowing that thereās people to talk to at this center thatāre qualified in making sure everyone and anyone is all right mentally is something we should definitely celebrate, not push back or mock. You do a wonderful service to plenty of people, and you should be proud of yourself.
Precisely. Them being so taboo is a large part of why mental health still doesnāt get the kind of recognition it should. People are ashamed of getting help so they donāt and only get worse. Hopefully, this day can raise more awareness and break down some barriers. Having seen the inside of an office, going into one might not be as scary anymore. -- Youāre very kind, Blaine. Thank you. Truly.
This sounds like a wonderful idea, Sir. As someone who had trouble with mental health issues during t heir younger ears, I think that raising awareness about the various ways that people can be affected is very smart, and reaching out to people in hopes that they know they arenāt alone is really progressive in terms of making this world a little easier to cope with. You can count on me stopping by before the day is out.
Oh, why thank you. That was a very kind message to happen upon. It means a lot to me that this is received so positively. I just hope that sooner rather than later, thereās not going to be so much stigmata attached to mental illness and we can all have open and honest conversations about as we can about a broken arm or chronic cough.
[Private]
No i get what youāre listing information about and I suppose if someone who carelessly mentions these sort of things just to be stupid and not actually intend on doing something shouldnāt be shrugged off. Although itās a waste of efforts if they just said shit for attentionā¦ But if youāre just trying to prevent folks from going off the deep end and harming otherāsā¦ the signs are helpful. However, sometimes folks are silent and wonāt say anything because they know yāall are looking for these signs. Makes it extra difficult then.
Itās not like I was tortured by these shrinks. Itās the concept of being forced to talk about thingsā¦ they coax you into letting your guard thenā¦ the information just seeps the fuck out. Granted iām not a kid anymore so I donāt have to worry about my feelings getting report back to my rents. Those were some lovely conversations to come home too. But in the end it taught a very good skill to say what I they want to hear. You do it for awhile eventually you stop getting reported because they canāt claim somethingās wrong when you clearly seem unaffected. I call it a win win to be honest.
[Private]
I think this is one of those cases whereĀ ābetter safe than sorryā applies. Of course, those signs arenāt always there and those things come as a surprise but I just want to be sure that if there are signs, theyāre being recognized.
Being forced to attend therapy is pretty much never a good idea. The first, huge and important chunk of therapy is wanting to get help and being open to therapy. As a therapist, I can help and guide but I canāt do that unless my client works with me. I know it can really suck if your parents hear about the things you say in therapy and thatās always a hard ethical call to make but I think if itās needed, therapy and talking is still important, even if it makes dinner a little awkward for us. Weāre still getting the help we need. So pretending doesnāt seem like the best course of action to me -- it might seem like a win but that seems like a rather superficial one if thereās an actual reason for that therapy.
FTF || Aiden&Marls
She bit down on her lip and nodded slowly.Ā āThat does make a lot of sense. I do have my moments where I feel like Iām such a burden on everyone ā especially Dominants. I have been seeing Sir Sebastian though. There was a time where I was going to abandon my submissive needs and he made arrangements with me to do scenes twice a week. I leave his apartment more at ease and I found that I sleep great afterwards.ā Marley laughed a little bit. She was becoming comfortable talking with Aiden now so she had started to uncurl from her spot on the futon.Ā āTo be honest Sir, itās sort of a lost cause with him. Heās grieving so itās understandable if heās a bit grumpier than normal. I believe itās best for me to not speak with him for a few days to see if heāll calm down.ā
āOh, that sounds like a really good idea. Iāve had a few clients with withdrawal symptoms and theyāre no fun. So having an outlet will definitely help you feel more balanced all around. Iām glad you have that.ā He smiled. Lack of a submissive outlet could easily lead to a number of mental health problems or make already existing ones worse so he was glad that was one thing Marley didnāt need to worry about.Ā āThat sounds like a healthy decision to me. Everybody grieves differently but if his way of dealing with it hurts you, then putting some distance between you at least until things have calmed down enough to approach it again are a good idea.ā
[Private]
Forgive me if I seem a little more harsh about these teachings. I take issues with those that are in my life who like to pry. Sure they think theyāre being helpful or some shit by being concerned. So having a string of folks that will go to your little seminar and suddenly start noticing shit is not thrilling to me.
I suppose that makes some sense but youāre also paid to listen. How do you give actual advice when itās not very sincere? Isnāt developing some sort of relation pretending to be their friend or whatever. Yesā¦ by unwillingly I suppose one could say when I was younger third parties would say something and since in school you gotta play by their rules. I had to go, never quietly but I did. So forgive me if I donāt enjoy sitting in a room with a stranger and having false sympathy being displayed for me or being told a multitude of shrink things.
[Private]
We all experience a vast spectrum of emotions -- just because someone might be in a bad mood or not seem very happy for a day or two doesnāt mean thereās necessarily a reason to go pry. When I talk about these things, I mostly mention instances where after public tragedies, someone will come forward and mentionĀ āOh yeah, they did say they were going to do terrible things to everybody at work but I didnāt think any of itā orĀ āOh yes, he did post videos saying he was going to kill all these girls but who knew he wouldā. These are the things people need to speak up about the moment they see them.
Just because I get paid doesnāt mean I donāt actually care. A doctor is also paid to fix a broken leg but that doesnāt mean heās not sincere when he does it and happy when he sees his patient walking again. No, my relationships with my clients may be friendly but thatās where healthy boundaries come in again. Therapy is about healing and moving forward, not about getting a for-pay-friend. While Iāve counseled and given educated advice to friends before, I would always refer them to other therapist to avoid any potential conflict in interests. Iām sorry you had such a bad experience -- thereās bad eggs in every profession, I suppose. I can definitely see where a reluctance towards counselors and therapists could come from. But, trust me when I say that most of us do genuinely care.
[Private]
Iām very aware how negative it can be seen or how this stigma makes otherās appear those based on trivial shit. I mean, if youāre trying to make folks be less avoiding of otherās or dicks to those that may have problemās then I suppose thatās decent of you to do so. However, just donāt go creating a paranoia army. Because then the minute someone seems down over a bagel everyone will think itās this epic thing. Cause nobody likes being reported that they are in a seriously shitty state when theyāre just pressed over a bagel they didnāt get today. At least we agree on something.
Is it really unbiased though? Because youāre either only getting one side of the story or folks not telling how severe something is just to avoid actions being taken because youāre a pro and they said something alarming. Iāve never needed one or willingly seen one.Ā
[Private]
Iām not creating any kind of army and I donāt think any decent therapist or guidance counselor is going to be all too drastically worried about someone being sad over a bagel. Itās usually more serious things that are disregarded or not taken serious until something happens.
Of course Iām only getting one side unless weāre talking coupleās or familyās counseling but that doesnāt mean Iām biased. Letās say someone comes to me to work through the aftermath of an abusive relationship. They can of course talk it over with a friend or family member but theyāre all already involved personally and emotionally since theyāre attached to this person. I can look at it from an outsiderās perspective and help them work through things without getting lost in the subjective issues that a close friend may stumble across. As for not being told the full story -- that is of course an issue but itās all part of building that relationship between myself and a client. Usually, if we click and the client stays with me, we reach a point where more uncomfortable truths can come out as well. If they donāt want to talk, they donāt usually seek out therapy. So, I deduct from that that youāve unwillingly seen one as you didnāt mention not having seen one?
How exactly is it helpful? Anytime schoolās ever done one of thoseĀ āThis is importantā seminarās thereās always like weird speeches and then lists ofĀ āSignsā to look out for. Is this to train folks to intervene on otherās or something?Ā
I donāt care for shrinks or discussing personal issues with folks, let alone paid strangers. Pros also make me very uncomfortable. I donāt see how they are as helpful but I guess for some they are.
Because Mental Health issues arenāt something thatās regarded publicly a lot of the time, least of all in a positive light. Thereās a lot stigmata around Mental Health and the more we keep quiet about it and keep it locked away, the more those can grow. So having a day that is dedicated to actually discussing it and making it less of a mystical, scary thing is great. I do think being aware and speaking up if you say something that doesnāt seem right is important since everybodyās usually the wiser after somethingās happened but I agree that sometimes these things can be a little on the preachy side.
To each their own. To some people, having an unbiased opinion can be very helpful but in general, you donāt go looking for a Therapist unless you need one anyway.
I thought I recognised you, but I wasnāt sure. Iām fairly new to this place so Iām still learning names and whatnot, you know? Itās nice to properly meet you though. {PRIVATE: So, your sessions- do you do the general guidance counselor stuff, and/or help with depression and anxiety, stuff like that? Like, maybeā¦ when theyāre feelings on a submissive related level? Iām just asking purely out of curiosity.}
I havenāt been here that long either so thatās really no problem. You doa Ā good job, by the way.Ā
PRIVATE:Ā Iām a licensed therapist, hence the office in the city, so I do general guidance counselor stuff while Iām here but I do have the training to go a little further, too. The reason Iām taking your class and Psychology of D/s is that Iād like to be properly educated on these things you mentioned but Iāve had a number of clients who were diagnosed with withdrawal symptoms and had therapy along with other treatments, if thatās what youāre asking, yes.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦thereās a dayĀ devoted to this? As in this school will be littered with shrinks? No thank you.Ā
Now I have more incentive to not stick around this joint. Have fun with your gathering or whatever.
Of course, Mental Health is a very important cause so having a day dedicated to raising awareness of it is actually very helpful. Oh, and the event will be hosted in my office in the city, not here. Is there a problem with ... this whole thing?
