How may I be of assistance?

By all means, do not let my PhD in torture intimidate you.

[aidenpriceless]

It appears from our mission report that a secret agent codenamed "Santa Clause" is coming to town. We might want to brace for impact.

[aidenpriceless]

Would it reassure to know that I think you are valid?

[aidenpriceless]

Notice

In light of recent events where the Time Gun went off on its own and sent me in a College AU where Principal Hargrove suspended me, a queer neurodivergent man of colour who uses...Creative problem solving methods that are not compatible with the rigid school system, and in an attempt to defend myself I tried using the Time Gun to foster a better environment for myself I might have accidentally blown up the whole building with him in it. We apologize for the inconvenience.

[aidenpriceless]

The inbox is currently open. Feel free to send asks.

[aidenpriceless]

It would be wise to perform the Heimlich maneuver on the Huragok in the Sarcophagus in order to newly obtain the key for the Director's...Containment device.

[rhinco]

ughhhh the two guys i kidnapped and tied up together in my basement aren't even developing any sexual tension they're just crying and whimpering 🙄🙄🙄 fuck my stupid fujo life

[bellybursterhungrythirster]

Farting in a thong in this meeting rn shhhh don’t tell the counselor

[aidenpriceless]

On a completely unrelated note (do not be concerned about me smelling or licking or wearing your thong as that would be against sanitary regulations :) ), permission to do your laundry, sir?

[aidenpriceless]

What do you think of Sim troopers? I personally find them delightful, they’re so stupid and incompetent and yet I’ve seen them do near impossible things. Win fights when every single odd is against them, kill freelancers. Pull things off even alpha squad would fail at, somehow. As a team, always as a team. I find them inspirational, apart from when they’re all idiot assholes who kill each other off and fail to work together. They’re very interesting to me.

Sim troopers are quite an interesting case. We believe it is very fascinating how two groups of people who are fundamentally the same are capable of going to war against each other based on the belief that the other might be alien sympathizers. It shows that their principles, if present, are quite similar and yet this divide leaves them unaware of the bonding ground provided by their status of simulation troopers. They could unite, but what would that say about them? It is not advisable to associate with alien sympathizers, after all. Best to keep doing war against such problematic individuals than to become one with them.

[aidenpriceless]

Based on your likes:

Disgust has confirmed itself to be at the top of our moral emotions leaderboard thanks to its ability to grant societal feedback about toxic and harmful behaviours and encourage us to be better people.

Click here if you want to learn about being a good person and creating the perfect warnings to spread the word on how to recognize disgusting content.

[beardedmrbean]

[hipstersoulgushers-art]

Dreaming about control, with or without you.

[aidenpriceless]

What Felix is trying to say is that he feels that all Chorusans were equally problematic and that it might be time for him to dedicate his tiktok dance videos to more pressing social issues. What these issues are will be announced on a later date by Chairman Malcolm Hargrove of Charon Industries so we might want to tune in for that.

[counselor-of-project-freelancer]

I need Dr. Leonard Church in ways that are completely unethical yet necessary for my research

[aidenpriceless]

Re: classroom incident

While it is generally considered embarrassing to accidentally call a teacher "mom" during class, you might want take into account that I have canonically been tending to Agent Carolina for a longer time period than her mother has and also have showed up consistently, not to mention how closely I have been..Working with the Director, hence the understandable confusion. Nothing out of the ordinary.

[rvb-fuckability]

RvB Most Fuckable Character! Round 1.5, Poll 5

Who is the most fuckable?

Counselor Price

Dylan Andrews

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

[aidenpriceless]

[counselor-of-project-freelancer]

the way I was just going to make Alice some kind of secretary/PA for Leonard and then my friend was like “what if you just made her the Counselor” and doors were opened that I cannot close

[aidenpriceless]

I am a bit confused. If he is your man, pardon me, your Director, then you might want to ask yourself why he let me press the blow up Florida button, which is one of the highest honours that have been bestowed upon project freelancer.

[aidenpriceless]

It appears that the enemy is still alive in this economy. May I suggest considering that this may not be coincidental?