Jirou: Hey, Bakugou. Do you ever worry that Kirishima would leave you for Midoriya?
Bakugou: Why the FUC-?!?!
Jirou: Hey, I'm just speaking as a friend here. Just think about it. Kirishima is cute, Midoriya is cute. Kirishima smiles a lot, Midoriya smiles a lot. Kirishima is a ball of sunshine and all that is good in the world, Midoriya is a ball of sunshine and all that is good in the world. Logically, they should be together.
*Midoriya walking down the hall*
Bakugou: DEKU! *dragging a confused Kirishima behind him* STOP RIGHT THERE!
Midoriya: *startled* K-Kacchan! A-And Kirishima? Um, h-hi? Do you...need something?
Bakugou: *grabs Midoriya's hand* You're dating me and shittyhair now! We're going on a fucking date!
Midoriya: *flushes* W-What?!
Bakugou: You can't steal shittyhair from me if we're all fucking dating!
Midoriya: I-I would never try to-!
Bakugou: Shut up, boyfriend! We're going out for fucking ice cream, deal with it!
Kirishima: Sooo...does that mean we can now go on triple dates with Sero, Kaminari and Shinsou?
Bakugou: HELL YEAH WE ARE! We'll fucking show them who the cutest couple in class is now!
Midoriya: U-Um! I'm already d-dating Todoroki...
Bakugou: Call him and tell him to meet us at the fucking ice cream shop. He's dating us too now!
Kirishima: *gasps* Quadruple dates with Jirou, Momo, Mina and Hagakure??!
Bakugou: FUCK YEAH! WE'LL BE THE CUTEST COUPLE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL!!!! THEN NO ONE WILL FUCKING DARE TO THINK OF STEALING SHITTYHAIR FROM ME!!!!
Kirishima: *grins at Midoriya* Welcome to the relationship, bro!
Midoriya: *has completely given up* T..Thank you...