[aikaurajnabi]

Lately, I've been engrossed into the study of feeling. of being in close intimacy with my surroundings. when in the pool for my swimming class, i examine the transparent waves as my hands frost the water. i imagine the deep silence that seems to find me in a crowd and lures me to make me chase it. i perceive the increase of my spiritual energy as my head is pressed firm on the ground, as i present myself as a lowly beggar to Allah. i endure the fury that has balled up inside of me, like a time bomb waiting its final grain to fall to ignite and set aflame my palace i have so carefully crafted with the bricks of my momental happiness. the honey glaze hurricane that my eyes give birth to when a sun ray passes.

– has it been fun?

undeniably.

Midst of a Tide

[aikaurajnabi]

Dear Dada Jan,

How much I wish you were with me today. They say I have your nose, your smile and your habits. Your short temper and your hard fists. They say you were a brilliant and wise man. Who read day and night, traveled the world within books. How much do I want to sit with you, a book resting in my lap, sipping sham ki chai while the clock elopes with time. We'd both hoarder journals that never get filled. Perhaps if they do but only with crazy ideas of how the world continues to tear itself away. We'd ride around the city in your old Chevrolet Caprice, our conversations leaving a trail of memories not polaroids that you have now left me with.

Wilted Roses & Crusted Letters

[aikaurajnabi]

"I need to tell you something. The nights when you thought I couldn't sleep because of ache and agony that the heartless caused wasn't true. Those were just mere excuses I had made up so you wouldn't worry. Yet you did. Tirelessly noticed what others often dismissed. My puffy eyes, pale skin and carmine lips weren't the cause of the old devil insomnia but .. were tears flowed to the God above, begging Him for your name be written next to mine. Prayers made during the last hours often get answered as the old say. I wanted to see if that was true. And ... here you are. At my doorstep."

Wilted Roses & Crusted Letters

[aikaurajnabi]

A good friend of mine told me something profound as we conversed about who is the better social butterfly:

"You say you just want that one friend. That one friend you're waiting for out of billions, that one friend will last a lifetime. That one friend would equal to a thousand friends that others have. So don't compare yourself to others or how many friends others have. That one friend who will come into your life will definitely be better than all the rest. What if that one friend is in your life but you're not realizing it? You don't know yet. Don't compare yourself to how social others are and you're not. You're wise, you hold a different thought when it comes to perceiving friendships. Believe me, the friend you're waiting for, the wait will be worth it. Life isnt all about roses and rainbows. It's about learning and learning."

The Book I'll Never Write

[aikaurajnabi]

Bless the Godly gifted heart of my ammi jan.

Bless the Godly gifted mind of my baba jan.

Who have taught me to practice gratitude in life. To not waver upon those who have less or are younger than you. To not spread hate or malice. To remain always rooted and remember where you are from. and where you are going.

Love you, the right and left chambers of my heart. 📿

[mah-qamar]

‏عندما يكون لديك صوت داخلك يقول لك

هذا حرام وهذا حلال فاحمد ربك على حياة قلبك.

-أحمد ديدات

When you have a voice inside you that tells you

This is forbidden and this is permissible, so thank your Lord for the life of your heart.

- Ahmed Deedat

[alhamdulillah10]

Someone died today.

Someone is going to die tomorrow.

It might be me, or it might be you.

It might be someone in my family or in your family.

This might be the last thing I’ll write here, or it might be your last post that you read.

For everyday life gets shorter.

We need to spend it preciously.

We need to remind ourselves that we live for Allah, not for this dunya.

We need to remind ourselves of akhira.

So my dear reader, let this post be a reminder to you. Try harder, work harder, get back to Allah and work for a place in Jannah.

[thoughtkick]

“I plant roots so deeply in the people I love that I always lose a piece of myself when they go.”

— Beau Taplin

[aikaurajnabi]

Now I understand what it meant by we, the practicing Believers are tried again and again throughout our lives because Allah loves us. Different tests that may teach us new ways to look at life. While there can be repetitive tests showing us the traits of our personalities on which we can work on. It's never to put us in difficulty if we are to understand our trials. It is to only teach us. What can we learn from them.

The Book I'll Never Write.

[aikaurajnabi]

Here's a thought:

I believe our teenage years are the years when we are running on full speed: experiencing changes, going on adventures, finding our passions, meeting new people. Yet at the same time, we are told to choose one out of many of those things, and settle with it for the rest of our lives.

And in the end if we are unable, we are left by knocking doors to see which one will open for us. Be it the one we never signed up for.

Like out of many of our passions that we were enjoying, one must be right whereas, to us, everything seems right.

The Book I'll Never Write

[aikaurajnabi]

At this point, I just want to shut my eyes, lie in the evergreen grass that smells like rain and feel the bright blue sky embrace me with its subtle breeze.

The Book I'll Never Write

[aikaurajnabi]

I wish it was November. Winter clothes that were tucked away for the whole year, are finally rejoicing their freedom to be worn. The cold wind is banging against our windows at 12 AM. Some nights, thunderstorms would roar, sleep escaping. Snuggled under warm blankets, our lamps lit, freshly whipped coffees held in our hands. Their aromas filling the room like when you enter an old cafe. No unnecessary noise, just the chatter of memories from a childhood album.

How I wish it was November.

[solassitudes]

sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

[solassitudes]

and by that I mean: I don’t have to sit with myself and overthink and analyze and rationalize every ounce of my being. I am not a case study I am a person. faults and all. like any other person. sometimes I have to look at my mistakes and avoid self flagellation. sigh and learn what I can and move on. remembering that I’m living, and this is part of the process. free myself of that inner critic. allow myself to be, and try again.

[positivity-in-recovery]

[arinashitabun]

Art by Hector aka shitty watercolor

[arabic-writings]

“.لاتثق بشخص مايخاف ربّه Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t fear Allah.”

— Dec 28, 2014 (via iwrite-myheart)

[wnq-writers]

You’re trying. And it’s enough. Every time you laugh, you are echoing your being into this world. You are making history every time you take a step. Please remember, you are fundamental to the connectivity of this world. There’s nothing insignificant about you.