#blueheartsforrosé @airtaffae - Tumblr Blog

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home. a place she always yearned. family. those she always longed. every day ──almost at every hour── they were in her mind, wondering if they were okay, if everyone was doing well, especially in those journeys chaeyoung could hardly get her hands on her phone and send a message, an ‘i love you’ said in the form of ‘don’t forget to eat, take care.’ she knew she’d have to sacrifice things thorough her path to advance, to get closer and closer to her goals ─ yet that didn’t comfort her, but she knew. shouldn’t that be enough?

getting to spend these days surrounded by the majority of those she loves the most after a long time was nearly surreal. how long had it been? don’t ask her, she won’t be able remember the last time she was granted the opportunity to spend an important holiday back home. her heart was filled with fireworks, beating hard against her chest, loud in her ears. butterflies took over her stomach, violent and raw and feral, driving her into giddiness. a flush in a hue that rivals roses themselves tinting her cheeks, eyes shut and head slightly tilted up as a shiver runs up her spine, goosebumps rising up the faint hairs in her arms. she inhaled, letting the air out in a long, prolonged sigh. the airplane would land in a few minutes, she could feel it descending from the sky. the joy in her veins was so overwhelming, triggering a sweet rush, a shot of energy that would soon be poured over her familiars in the form of hugs and kisses, maybe a few tears (don’t tell her, she will probably deny having cried. but we both know she did, just a little. she’s emotional, she has so many sentiments they sometimes take over her. but it’s okay. she’s fine).

the first thing she does once she placed a foot off the plane is stretch her limbs and take a deep breath. air is the same everywhere, and yet, every place has a different kind. some feel like a new beginning, others give you the sensation a big adventure is about to take place. australia, though ─ australia feels like home.

she put a halt to her steps, her suitcase standing next to her. her eyes looked around the multiple faces strolling through the airport, her teeth biting the fingers placed inside her mouth ──a strange habit, let’s say she’d rather not damage her nails──. she took a couple of steps every few seconds, standing on her tiptoes and stretching her petite frame as much as she could, but ─ oh. oh my god, there they are (her mother, her father, her sister, even her dog). she ran towards them, firstly almost leaving her luggage behind and later nearly tripping in the middle of the aisle. by the time her arms flung around her mother there were tears in her eyes, not getting to slide too far down her cheeks before the fabric of her mother’s top absorbed them. next was her father, and then, her older sister, whom chaeyoung jumped on with a loud squeal, long legs wrapping around her waist and arms embracing her tight, close. she had missed them so much, and now they were there ─ she was there. the way home was spent catching up, singing to songs in the radio, making plans for the holidays (”we’re going to visit this family friend, i bet you’ll have fun” “do they have pets?” “yes” “oh, my god”), and not letting go of her puppy, fingers pressing its ears lovingly, thumbs massaging its face and hands hugging it close, light kisses left on its head.

her room was the same as the last time she stayed there, though it smelt faintly like a flower scented air freshener, a sign her mother had cleaned her room not so long ago. not wasting a single second, she dropped her suitcase and jumped on the bed, a loud whimper leaving her lips at the feel of her mattress. she had missed little things such as sleeping on her bed, the air freshener her mother uses, hearing the faint sound of her father’s grunts and whines when his team loses, spending the nights talking with her sister ─ the mundane and simple things you’re so used to you only realize how significant they are once you don’t have them by your side anymore.

the days passed by slowly, yet too fast. she went to her old church, greeted everyone and visited her church youth activist group. she met family friends, played around with her cousins and spent an insane amount of time with her older sister. she missed it ─ her house, her family, her friends, the beaches, her original church, the country, her dog, the food, even hot cheetos! and she would miss it all again. but it’s the path she chose, the one god gifted her with, and in life you have to give up on things, some of them temporaly, others, completely. it’s always nice to come back home. it’s a bittersweet feeling, really. and it would be a constant in her life, for she feels the same longing when she leaves south korea.

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