Random Thoughts @aisyaham - Tumblr Blog

Will this be the first time I truly regret my decision? Will this be the first time I truly give up on something?

Really I'm not gonna lie. Life felt so much easier when I didn't care back then. When I didn't give in to this attachment thing. When I closed my heart for everyone, everything, for any commitments. I miss those times. I do, I really do. Why did I chose this path anyway?

People are scary. People are scary. People are scary. Human is scary. Human is scary. Human is scary.

But I can't really turn back.

When my thoughts aren't with me, I feel so lonesome....

Now, even the sad memories become a gift for me

Gift, Epik High feat. Park Jiyoon

A New Voice

A voice is but a sound

a sound of your own, none but you

you speak with it in your night and day

you sleep with it in your dreams

a voice

that’s yours

is you

so when your voice

doesn’t work,

are you broken?

and when it changes

is it a different you?

and when it’s born anew

is it a new you?

and it's okay to cry

Greetings

Well hello you!

For every time you feel the lowest that you will not be able to reach a better situation with your life, for every time you compare yourself with other people and feel much too inferior, for every time you feel you will not be going anywhere with your life, for every time you feel you wasted your life away.

Please, for the love of God, accept it. Acknowledge the pain. Acknowledge the inferiority to others. Acknowledge that you can be happy for them while being a wreck yourself. Acknowledge that you are not at your best.

But please, acknowledge too that you can move on. Acknowledge the joy you can achieve then. Acknowledge you can still get better. Acknowledge that people can be happy with you. Acknowledge that a better you will be there.

Remember your reason of being, remember yourself - reorganize yourself.

If you need help, it’s okay to find one. If you need a rest, it’s okay to take one. If you need to run, it’s okay as long as you can come back - or take another route you want.

Just please, keep on moving. For life is a constant motion and you are a part of it.

Idol

Dance for me

Sing and laugh out loud for me

Win the awards for me

I want you to suffer for me

Humor me

Live lavishly for me

Abide the rules for me

Get wild for me

Work hard for me

Be weird for me

Drink for me

Be pretty for me

Eat for me

Have fun for me

Play with each other for me

Kiss for me

Hug for me

Love for me

I want you to do everything

for me

I want you to

in my stead

A love of Tongue, a Tongue of love

Ah I see beauty

in my loves: these letters,

the symbols we see as readables,

the pictures spoken as one and as whole,

a voice recorded by the hands,

soarings

never to cease

And I see excitement

in every message my loves bring:

What are you conveying, inside you the almost infinity,

chances uncountable, and free for use within terms and conditions?

For whom were you created, one by one enchanted,

whispered identities born from existences?

By whom were you created, as your creators entangle their souls

within you, the most eternity, the almost immortality?

For whatever reason were you here within my reach,

bewitching this ever-stirring heat in me,

a foretold gained but only through so many trials and errors?

Oh my loves,

for whatever I would ever come to be

and have been

over my love for you,

Is it okay, my dearest,

for you to always be my loves?

#poetry

Selebrasi Ego

Hari ini kurayakan egoku

Sesuatu yang sudah disadari sejak dahulu

Bahwa tinggi keakuanku, bahwa aku hidup untuk diriku

dan aku setuju setuju saja hidup

dengan cara begitu

Dalam selebrasi ini ingin kusampaikan

kepada diriku, kawan, dan rekan self-centrist sekalian

mungkin tepatnya, kuajak mengontemplasikan,

Bukankah tidak apa berkutat dengan diri di tengahnya,

jika segala yang berkutat dengannya

dirangkul bersama-sama?

Bersama-sama berbaur jadi campuran

menari-menari saling melihat rupa

kolektif dan kawan,

yang walau tetap masing-masing badan,

bahu-membahu mengarungi jalan?

Tapi baiknya diri ini,

hemat saya yang masih terus menyelidiki,

dengan kawan-kawan sama berdiri,

tidak bersenyawa menjadi baru sama sekali.

Karena tidakkah jika jadi satu seraga sejiwa sehati,

kita sering jadi lupa diri?

Tidakkah tidak ada lagi kontemplasi,

serta diskursus - si alat transportasi

mencari ke mana tujuan kita yang pergi,

Bila semua satu menyatu menjadi satu titik

yang sudah berhanti?

Dalam selebrasi ini baiknya sejenak,

hadapi eksistensi dan coba tengok,

Bagaimanakan keakuanku?

Apakah masih ke arah sesuai konsensi,

atau sudah mulai melenceng?

Aku?

Aku masih bersenyawa, hilang arah, sekarang mencari zat pemecah, dan sungguh Tuhan mengapa susah sekali?

Namun bintang terus terlihat bung! Masih terang dan hangat kepastiannya.

Jadi aku terus mencari saja

Kunikmati saja

Akhir kata, kuharap kita semua akan bertemu nanti

di mana entah dituju

di dalam Esa itu

#puisi #kontemplasi

eyfey

Week 6: (not sure I got that left-most editor guy’s name right ‘cause the text was real real tiny/hard to read but whatevs) FIXED: It was Yoritomi.

he got a signed page of manga from the Kochikame author!!

here’s the page:

(the text on the left is just general congratulations for Asou-sensei)

Changing

Some say people don't change

But I say we change

We change a lot

Changing back and forth

Gaining

And losing

Change

Is inevitable

For better

And for worse

And

By the time I finish this post

I'm a different person

Raison d'etre

It still is

To be of use for others' life

To be of use to give them better lives

To be of use for them to live good lives

To ultimately

Appease my raison d'etre

It has always been

May it always

Will be

The task

I want

and need

to be the one who listens

Listen

Learn, think, analyze, discuss

facilitate,

work together.

But first and foremost,

Listen

Scar(s)

A scar remains

And questions you

"what are you gonna treat me as?"

I say

"as a reminder-

for the past and the future I can reach"

__________________

Another scar remains

And questions you

"do you despise me?"

I say

"No I don't, nor do I

like you.

But I respect you.

And am thankful for the lessons you taught, and will teach me"

________________

The other scar remains

And remarks

"I'm here forever, you know"

I reply

"Everything comes and goes.

Even you.

But you're a proof

of those that come and go

I'm not keen on losing"

_____________

One more scar show up

And questions you

"how are you gonna wear me?"

I say

"as an armor.

A chain mail I wear

right underneath my skin"

_________________

The scars pile up

And question you

"Will you let the world see us?"

I say

"No plans to do so,

though what are we but planners of the uncertain?

One thing for sure:

I'm keeping you

with pride, sorrow,

and joy"

Home

I realize it's not that I like this pain, loneliness, and sorrow; it's just that I'm so used to them by my side, making me comfortable in their embrace - whilst causing me to feel vulnerable when they're not around.

Happiness still is my goal, just like everybody else.

But this sorrow is my home.

Without it,

I'm lost.

yuzusorbet

Talk show in Saitama –Yuzuru Hanyu and Shuzo Matsuoka– 12 June 2019.

Fans were watching it live at 40 AEON theaters in Japan. After that, many fans reported about it. This translation is done by Shuko Doyle in YHIFG based on their tweets, mainly from here and here.

First 2 pics are fan art of what Yuzu was wearing, based on memory, credit: cherry_mom07 and sarada_open;

last pic is what the lucky fans received, credit: meowmeow_y

(much thanks to Shuko and fans for sharing!)

tsukihoshi14

[Translation of Yuzu Days No.35] Source: https://www.myrepi.com/home/entertaining/yuzu-days-100012

Q: Were you confident that you’d become a two-time Olympic Champion since you were small?

Y: I’ve been thinking that “I can become a two-time Olympic Champion” probably since when I was 5, 6 years old. If you ask whether it’s confidence or conviction, then it’s something more like a conviction. I ended up saying such a grandiose thing (laughs). But it was groundless, and back then, it was not like I had anything special about myself. However, during my childhood, I was fired up with this groundless sense of purpose. If this version of me who has successfully defended (the Olympic title) were to say a few words to my teenage self, I think I’d tell him “From now on, it’s going to be tough. It’s gonna be hard, you know.” (laughs)

Q: How did you cultivate this “wealth of words” that you’ve showed us in interviews?

Y: I don’t think that I have such a “wealth of words”, and I would like to broaden my knowledge by watching and reading more arts and books. About my linguistic ability, everyday I write down in a notebook about things that happened and my thoughts that day, so it might be that I have this old habit of putting my thoughts into words. Ah, also, I’ve realized this just now, but may be because I am the youngest child with an older sister, so I have a strong desire to convey (my thoughts, feelings). I think, perhaps, the desire to convey my feelings since childhood has resulted in this linguistic ability. It’s common knowledge that the second child is the chatty one (laughs) (t/n: in Japan, the stereotype is that the second child is more easy-going and chatty than the oldest child)

Q: While skating, what does it feel like when you’re in the middle of a jump?

Y: How it feels like when I’m jumping… uhm, it might feel a bit long. But that’s not always the case; when I can’t focus, there are times when (it feels like) I simply land in an instant. There are also times when it feels like a slow motion. Incidentally, at the last lutz jump in my free program at the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics, it was a slow motion. It felt like “Ah, I’m gonna fall at this jump. What should I do? What should I do? Ah, I stayed on my feet!”. It felt very long. (laughs)

Q: To you, Mr. Hanyu, what is “happiness”?

Y: My happy moment is when my family gathers together. What I’ve deeply realized with my current circumstances is that the time spent with family is very precious. I now deeply feel how much those moments nourish my heart and become the energy in my skating and my daily life. After the Olympics, I didn’t do anything special like a victory celebration or a vacation trip, I only stayed in Japan and had meals at home, but it was truly my happy time. Sitting down at the dining table together at home, having meals together, laughing and crying while watching the same TV (show), such “gathering” moments is happiness. Being able to come back to my root, or should I say having a place to come back to, I’m very grateful for that.

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