Random Gay Shit

Idk how tumblr works. My friends forced me to be here.

[aj-the-pan]

Came to realize it was never that the room was too uncomfortable, it was that you didn’t want to fucking be around me and you didn’t want to say that. I wish you would’ve said that the moment you realized it. I wish the moment you started thinking I didn’t talk the right way or whatever to be with you that you would’ve just said that. I wish I didn’t have almost 9 months of pain and anger to work through in order to be your friend again, if I ever can because honestly I can’t see how it can ever go back to how it was. I wish you could’ve said how easy it would be for you to just act like it never happened. I wish I wasn’t so mad at you. I just wish none of this shit ever fucking happened.

[aj-the-pan]

Likes are so passive aggressive for no fucking reason

[lestatwillneverhurtyou]

Simple Plan was right I am just a kid and life IS a nightmare

[aj-the-pan]

It’s so hard to try to be your friend and talk to about my feeling again when I have the memory of you saying “what did we do now” while I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I don’t know how to be your friend again. I don’t know if I ever will.

[aj-the-pan]

I wish my stupid brain would stop telling me I miss Sebastian

[aj-the-pan]

“We noticed they’re one of your favs” YEAH THAT’S KINDA THE WHOLE PROBLEM

[aj-the-pan]

A lot of the time I’m scared I can never go back there, honestly. I’m scared I’ll never look at you and not see all of the hurt.

[aj-the-pan]

I don’t understand how you’re okay because I feel like my heart is fucking shattered

[aj-the-pan]

I’d give anything to go back to what I felt when you were asleep in my lap. Or when we were all cuddled with each other. I’d give anything to back to thinking we could just put our differences aside because I miss y’all so much and it hurts every single time I look at y’all and every time I hear you say I love you because I still love y’all and I don’t know how to make it fucking stop.

[guccifloralsuits]

hate being the generation that remembers no ads on YouTube & the annoyance when we first saw 1 ad every 10 videos, then 1 every 5 videos, then on every video, then multiple ads within a single video, only for YouTube to market paying for Premium™️ to ‘get rid of ads!’ which weren’t even there at the start

[seasonallydefective]

I hate being the generation that remembers when I could easily find episodes of anime and whole ass movies on YouTube.

[an-aura-about-you]

Hate being the generation that remembers when YouTube videos would buffer when you pause them, allowing the entire video to load and let you watch it without interruption even on slow connections.

[aj-the-pan]

Oh god I fucking have memories connected to the stupid CVS hold music now AHHHH

[aj-the-pan]

My personality: 🥺🥰🖤🌈☀️🦇

My kinks: 🗡⛓🤜🏻🥵🔫

[werewolfnoir]

1-800-ARE-U-SCARED?

[vampirebitesandbloodvials]

love is stored in the bite mark

[aj-the-pan]

My whole life I’ve been a crybaby, and even when I was super little I would get so upset over things I would cry myself into hyperventilating, and my mom would just hold me and talk me through breathing and sing to me until I was okay.

I ask myself almost every day where that nice mom of mine went, I could really use her right now.

[aj-the-pan]

It’s amazing how fast life went from “I’m so in love 🥰” to “I’m so in love 😭.” How 2 days before I was watching them open presents from me and thinking “I want to feel like this forever” and then I was crying on Christmas thinking “I never want to feel like this again.” How before I was scrolling through pictures thinking how much I loved them, to trying to delete everything and crying over deleting a picture of him sleeping in my lap. How a few weeks ago I was listening to her talk about the most random everyday things and thinking “I could listen to this forever” and today I felt like she hated me. It’s crazy how one minute I’m fine and I’m saying that I did the right thing, and the next I’m asking myself if that’s true then why does it hurt so much. I call people, I laugh for a while, but when it’s time to go to bed I can’t sleep because I think of all the little happy things until I’m crying so hard I can’t see. And there’s no escaping, there’s only looking around and remembering, everywhere I go. There’s only more pain because no matter what I do it’s not going to work and it hurts so fucking much.

[aj-the-pan]

I’m sorry you have such a shitty taste in people and that it led you to me