⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ “WE ONLY SEE EACH OTHER AT WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS.”
“How much do you want for it?”
“Show me where the safe is, or your family’s dead!”
“Just leave us alone!”
“Hey, you, stay strong, I believe in you.”
“Your family is safe now.”
“When was the last time you saw your father?”
“Will you wear Valentino to the funeral?”
“What is she doing here?”
“You don’t belong here, especially after what you did.”
“You’re seriously gonna do this today?”
“No forced entry, no sign of struggle. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“What’s the secret, huh? Protein shakes?”
“I broke into the coroner’s office.”
“It’s just a sad old man who kicked it in a big, empty house.”
“You should leave.”
“How long has it been since [name] disappeared?”
“What are you doing in here?”
“Are you just out of rehab?”
“He’s dead! Yay!”
“Thank Christ he’s not our real father so we couldn’t inherit those cold, dead eyes.”
“Save the lecture, I was already leaving.”
“Ex-squeeze me?”
“No need to get your little panties in a bunch.”
“You know, after all these years, I find it strangely comforting.”
“[Name] filed for divorce eight months ago.”
“Yeah, I don’t do that anymore.”
“I made a wish, and it came true, and I couldn’t take it back.”
“Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner.”
“Is that my skirt?”
“It’s a little dated, I know, but it’s very breathey on the bits.”
“There are still some important things we need to discuss, alright?”
“Oh, quelle suprise!”
“He sounded on edge, told me I should be careful who to trust.”
“He was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles.”
“I’m not in the right frame of mind.”
“You’re high?”
“Sober up, this is important.”
“How could you think that?”
“Sorry, I’m just gonna go murder Mom, I’ll be right back.”
“Eternal peace is probably overrated.”
“You always were a stubborn bastard!”
“I don’t know about you, but I need a drink.”
“I vote we run, c'mon!”
“The future is shit, by the way.”
“Nice to see nothing’s changed.”
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”
“Well, there are worse things that could happen.”
“You should stop talking now.”
“An entire square block, forty-two bedrooms, nineteen bathrooms, but not one single drop of coffee.”
“I feel like we should try and stop him, but then again, I also just kinda wanna see what happens.”
“Alright, guess I’ll see you guys in, what, ten years?”
“I hope that turns out better than your marriage did.”
“I don’t remember this place being such a shithole.”
“Used to sneak out with my brothers and sisters, and eat doughnuts till we puked.”
“Let’s be professional about this, yeah?”
“I hate to rush you through any kind of brooding moment you might be having, but come on, man, we’re starving!”
“We have decided on, drumroll…. waffles!”
“You should have locks on your windows.”
“Is that blood?”
“I’ve decided you’re the only one I can trust.”
“The world ends in eight days, and I have no idea how to stop it.”
“I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”
