Black Death Daddy

[sameatzz]

La nostalgia va a acabar conmigo

Arte oficial de Kishou Arima🩷

[ ᴛᴏᴅᴀs ʟᴀs ɪʟᴜsᴛʀᴀᴄɪᴏɴᴇs sᴏɴ ᴅᴇ sᴜɪ ɪsʜɪᴅᴀ]

[aker-man]

i personally don’t really think people should take some advice “seriously” if that advice come from person that not eligible in an area

e.g. never take Love advice from a person who get multiple divorces

yeah.. coach don’t play.. but coach has licensed and you don’t

[aker-man]

so happy to had discussions session with our tutor this first day of the semester. we talked about IT emotinal kind stuff. about how we as human could possibly having deep connected with people through only the internet, researcher said most people who behave on the internet is actually their true self.

well,, just so happy to know that, gotta learn more for it

[aker-man]

i wanna kill myself and dissapear

[aker-man]

sometimes my head felt like about to explode thinking about myself

like right now

i feel empty

i feel nothing

every one will disappear doing busy things they love

leaving me,, which is very understandable

meanwhile i’m here sitting thinking about what my life looks like

i feel sad

“can you please stop thinking and just doing it?”

“you too much thinking”

“just do your best and you’ll get the answer”

thoughts like that just keeping me feel so empty. i feel so useless. every body can do it. but i can’t. stupid me. so stupid

[aker-man]

i don’t know what i want to do with my life

i feel empty

i feel nothing

i have no ambition

i have no willingness

i have no purpose

i have no fear

i have no dream

i want nothing

i worry at nothing

i don’t know

it’s sucks sometimes thinking about i have something i wanna achieves i have nothing to make my life be more drained. it just sucks. i’m jealous to all of you guys who has something that you want to do in your life. you know something that you love and you want to put lots of effort towards it. you know the reason why you wanna life you know how to make your life alive. i’m jealous of kind of people like that, i wanna be like that.

i wanna make my life alive

i wanna know something that i love

i wanna know something that i can put my 100% effort on it

but idk how

i really don’t know

sucks isn’t it

[aker-man]

i feel pity to everyone who waste my love

[aker-man]

me in genre of books

young adults: oh they’re life so perfect and so much fun, wish could be them

adults: so much problem

[aker-man]

so much better feeling after i wrote something ❤️❤️

[aker-man]

as long as i’m always with me,myself and i

i would never ever be alone.

[aker-man]

i’m in love with my self.

i fell in love with her. but still try to learn more about what she like. she loves to read. she loves to writing. she often questioning about everything. she loves to learn something new. she loves to not give a fuck about her toxic friend.

she’s a bit tired these day, she really want to do stuff that she curious about, like travel with train alone or reading books on the rooftop. i will try to make all her curiosity become true.

i’ll follow where ever she go.

[aker-man]

i think about we split up permanently.

i don’t know, but when you told me that we are not longer together that day because we have no future, i was so depressed. i was trying to deal with that. it took days for me to be okay with our break up.

then when i finally became okay with us which no longer together. BUT then, you came to me and made another plan for us. a Hope.

i saw everything differently when u were gone and then you come back and i’m better.

right now, what i think is, i don’t want you to pressure yourself with my stuff. i want you to be happy. i’m okay with that. your life problems is much much harder than mine, i can’t even imagine that. and i’m afraid the existence of my life in yours could be burdens. i don’t know what you actually thinking about us.

but babe, if you’re okay with me, you okay with our situation and condition, you okay with us right now. and all you want is just be flow because we never know what will future brings. then i’ll be okay with that.

i worry a lot about your happiness. i want you to be happy ❤️

[aker-man]

i deleted my twitter, i thought it was the best place for me to healing and write all my thoughts inside this body. but i was wrong.

i thought people are going to letting me write everything i wanna write. but no. they take a notice and maybe laughing at me. maybe laughing at my pain.

or maybe i’m just too much thinking

[aker-man]

i don’t need your understanding

i don’t need your caring

i just wanna you to don’t give a shit about every single words that came from my mouth

you broke my heart when you think i do it for attention

please better you take no notice about everything i said rather than you make me die inside

[aker-man]

this shitty feeling comes to me again

again again and again

so damn distracting me af

my head about to explode

idk why

this is so hurt

[aker-man]

i love you, steven

but i have to go

we shouldn’t be together

thankyou

[aker-man]

i’m letting you go

because i know

if you still here

i will build a dream

unachieveable dream

i will dreaming to be your wife

i will dreaming to sleeping in your chest

i will dreaming to have a scotland castle

i will always be dreaming..living in my imagination

i’m letting you go

i’m letting my imagination go

i’m letting a life that i couldn’t ever feel to go

good bye and let me living in my life right now