this fandom is a prison and baby i'm on death row

hatchetverse sideblog bc i have brainrot arcade, it/they/xe, adult main is @yupekosi, art blog is @angsty-art-ist blank accounts get blocked, terfs, zionists and other bigots fuck off :) i don't care about shipping discourse

[multifamdomfan]

Someone made a comment saying "everyone wants a slice of the plain cheese pizza" when talking about Paul and that is genuinely one of the funniest things that I have ever seen so I wanted to share.

[douglas-duke-keane]

im such a 'paul did choose infection' truther. when he was lying on the floor of the starlight.rapidly losing his already dwindling life.pokey looked like a savior resurrecting him. as the strings hum to life in his skull those flashes of happiness are burning like the sun now and he really cant stop smiling. there's no more strength to fight and it just feels so nice.he cant recall why he ever fought it. he embraces it with open arms

[multifamdomfan]

Hcing Paul with prophecy powers is so fun because he's right about almost everything that he dislikes and it sounds crazy until it's validated.

[oscarolsenoo]

HEADCANON IDEA

Okay so we know Paul did pull the trigger and the grenade blew up. And I’ve seen some fix it fic ideas of Paul having burns from that.

Sooooo

What if Pokey seeing Paul’s corpse burned was like, “he doesn’t look like a leading man now,” so he supernaturally heals all the burns and scars so he’s now “perfect.” That’s why in the hospital he looks so normal, when he just blew himself up not long ago.

[garfels]

enjoy my shitpost about ruth and richie going to hatchetfield beauty supply™️

[half-infected-paul]

personally I headcanon that Paul's special interest is film and he reviews movies online in his spare time. reasoning: he brings up film unprompted in guy. he's at least somewhat online based on the one line from the opening number of guy (but we don't know what he does online). he wrote movie reviews as his job in an earlier draft of guy and while obviously that isn't even remotely canon anymore I think it'd be fun to repurpose that, except its not his job its just something he does for fun.

I dont think Paul is all that active on social media, but that man absolutely has a letterboxd. he has Opinions on movies. you can't go to a theater with him to see a movie he's already seen because he will talk the whole way through making sure not only do you notice the subtle little details in the film but you understand what they mean. (Emma finds this endearing and likes hearing him yap and seeing him get all excited and passionate about movies he likes. but they still can't go to theaters because everyone else would get mad at him for talking)

[douglas-duke-keane]

[ghostlylexie-deactivated2026073]

Why he be staring at the audience like that

[the-spaced-out-ace]

What do you want Paul 👀 a man so vague just can’t 🙅‍♂️ be trusted 💃 something you pine 🌲 for ‼️ maybe someone who keeps you lusted 🥵 (🖐️ 🐛 🖐️) (THAT’S TOO MANY)

[fencecollapsed]

this is why Mr Davidson is on the dirty dogs list

[hectarehollyhock]

my favorite thing about max jägerman is that he starts out as a pretty straightforward stereotype but he gets more menacing the more you learn about him. the way that in literal monster he acknowledges that he'll peak in high school but he'll take the opportunity to have power while he still can. his entire pasqualli's parking lot monologue, where he reveals that the hatchetfield high school hierarchy isn't really about societal responses to undesirable characteristics in the nerds. it only exists because max acknowledges that every dictatorship needs scapegoats, and max is a damn good dictator. the way that he calls himself a god, and he's right. because when he says that he brings light to dark, the stage lights shift on cue. he interrupts cool as i think i am and talks to the audience directly. and not just in cool as i think i am- in literal monster, he talks to us for his entire verse. reality bends to his will. he's aware of the fourth wall. genre-savvy, too - he plays (and he is, self-admittedly, playing the role of) the coming of age high school bully to a tee, down to the daddy issues and the peaked in high school bit and the forbidden fruit crush and the "that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me" last minute switch-up. and when max dies, reality bends to his will again ("nerdy prudes will pay. nerdy prudes must die") but this time it's to bring him back at all costs. and the show goes from a coming of age high school comedy to a slasher. and he plays the slasher villain just as well. he's such a fascinating, entertaining antagonist. i love him so much.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

"how dare starkid make us pay a digital ticket for space baby" "everything about this new musical is awful and it's basically fascist propaganda" "why are they remounting a hatchetfield show we want something that isn't hatchetfield" "they aren't giving us any updates about when space baby will be on youtube" "why did starkid run out of the leftovers of a limited stock item I really wanted" "this merch is so bad" "can't believe everybody is going to ignore space baby for hatchetfield"

are you people ever happy? like, genuinely?

~~~

[fencecollapsed]

thinking about how Grace and Max are both hated by their peers but seen as admirable on some level by other kids' parents

[fencecollapsed]

@inamindfarfaraway hope u don't mind me adding your tags because you're SO right, excellent point

[ladeedahdahday]

the hatchetfield series is not about whos your favorite little baby angel its whos your favorite asshole

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

transfem richie would not call herself rachel or anything like that. she's the type of transfem who would call herself some random anime name. that's not rachel, that's rei-chan

~~~

[milawasbornconfused]

Had to. Love you Melissa <3 This would probably work better with Ted but I really wanted to use a photo of the reprise

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

maybe i’m just not whimsical enough to view these characters as fully realized individuals completely separated from who’s playing them, but i’m pretty sure the reason people “sexualize” the NPMD characters so much is because they are attracted to the 30 year old actors who play them. I’ve never seen anyone sexualize Kendall, so i assume that the age of the actors actually matters quite a bit

~~~