the thing is that your teenage self lives in december. she misses you and she lives in december and you come to visit once a year and she floats around your old hometown wondering when you'll come back. and when youre there, finally, she begs to use the body she hated again, because she wants to hug the parents she argued with again. just once more she says. but she says the same thing each year. and you let her, each year. and each year she looks just a little bit younger and you feel just a little bit older. and you love her just the same. and she looks up to you just the same.
one december youre going try and leave and she will hold onto your leg like a small child and say thank you. thank you for not giving up on me thank you for building the future that i dreamed of thank you for still being alive. and you two wont really know who is thanking who but it wont matter. youre both the same person in the end.
