Where does the value of making art come from? Is there only value in your creations being viewed? Or does it come from the creation of the piece? If no one was ever going to see what you made, is it still worth making?
My love of creating has disappeared, it’s like I lost an important pice of me. Somewhere along the line I shifted from wanting to show people the art I made, to making art purely to be shown. If I thought it wasn’t good enough to be posted then it had no value and my time was wasted. This clown is one of those no value pictures. I thought it wasn’t good enough, and any fun I had making it didn’t matter. So why should I create if people won’t see it, why speak if no one’s listening?
I stopped making, I thought it was just burn out but it was a deeper problem. My UT comic became something I dreaded working on. I felt like a failure and a disappointment.
My therapist and I have been working on this problem for a while, and I’m slowly starting to find my way back to that place where pure creation is where the value lies. I’m learning to hold my creativity more loosely, and yet somehow much more dearly. And you know what, I like this clown, even if no one else does.
If you are in a similar position, then I would say, try to remember why you started creating in the first place. What did you make before the internet? When you hung the art in your room for only you to see, what was it you made? Try to relax back into that place, allow yourself to be nostalgic, and unabashed. Remember where the value of creation comes from. In the making.
Take it easy my dear.
