Gackt Personal Long Interview SHOXX (8/98, Vol.66)
–Tell me about yourself, just before you joined MALICE MIZER. I guess if you knew my past, you won’t be able to live, (laughs). I have a very heavy past, a very dark past. –I see. There are many assumptions about the reason you joined MALICE MIZER, such as Yu~ki explored you(?), (who was found sleeping in the temple of Kiyomizudera - a famous temple in Kyoto), or Yu~ki saved you (who was being chased by gangsters). But what is the truth? Well, the story that I was ‘chased by gangsters’ is close to the truth, (laughs). I was kidding. To tell you the truth, I had a friend who knows Mana, and he introduced me to Mana, that’s all. –Is it true that before meeting you, Mana listened to your tape? Ah. I didn’t send the tape by myself. When I was drunk, the friend who knows Mana gave me a call and said, 'Can I send a tape of your song?’, and, 'Can I let Mana know your mobile telephone number?’ And since I was drunk, I couldn’t understand him totally, and I just said, 'It’s okay, okay’ like that, and 'Do anything you want’ like that, (laughs). And then Mana gave me a call, and we became friends. And when I had a couple of days off, Mana gave me a call and asked what I was doing, so since I was free I said, 'Well, I’m gonna drive to Tokyo and meet Mana in Tokyo’. –That was the first meeting when you wore a gorgeous suit, was it? I didn’t mean to surprise Mana. It’s just that I prefer to wear suits for private clothing, (laughs). –Do you remember that meeting? When I met Mana first and Mana’s friend, I drove my car with them. But in the car, me and Mana kept silent, (laughs). So Mana’s friend, who had nothing to do, kept talking, (laughs). –In such a wierd space, what was your first impression of Mana? I just felt weird, (laughs). I guess probably Mana felt the same way about me because I talked a lot over the phone, but I kept quiet in person, (laughs). Then we went to Mana’s place and started to talk about music. Because Mana’s friend was no longer there, I could talk with Mana alone, so I started to talk a lot. And then Mana said Közi’s place is close by (to Mana’s), and we went to his place by my car and picked up Közi, and I drove the car with them, (laughs). I still remember clearly that at that point, Közi had a moustache like a Chinese, (laughs). –Hahaha! Even though I’ve been talking with Mana over the phone, I still didn’t know what kind of music MALICE MIZER played or what kind of members it had, but Mana said over the phone that 'We have a member who’s trying to grow his moustache on stage’, so I recognized Közi - 'Oh, this is the person Mana has talked about.’ Közi was coming into the car with his back bent as usual, and all of a sudden, he said to me like, 'Can I smoke in the car?’ I still don’t know why I answered this way but I said, 'If I asked you not to smoke, will you not smoke?’ (laughs). And then we kept silent, (laughs). –(Laughs) Sounds very uncomfortable. Oh yes, it was, (laughs). –Where did you go to? The main office of the Ohm Cult, (the cult notorious for releasing poisonous gas in the subway), which is located in Aoyama, (laughs). –(Laughs) Why’d you go there? Simply because the Ohm thing was real-time news. When I asked them if they know of any interesting places to go to, they said, 'We don’t know.’ Since I was scared that if I couldn’t suggest anything we’d go back to being silent again, I said, 'Oh well, where’s the office of the Ohm Cult?’ They said it’s rather close, so we went there. And all the while keeping silent, we were just looking at the office, (laughs). –Didn’t you talk about music in the car? No. I guess they avoided talking about it. Aftewards, we went to Mana’s house, and I asked, 'What do you want to achieve in MALICE MIZER? I think that such things are needed for the future music field in Japan.“ All of us talked about what we were thinking over the night, and we realized we have a same goal in the music which is free from ready-made ideas. –You mean, you stayed over at Mana’s house? Yes. I asked Mana like, 'What kind of music did the previous MALICE MIZER play? Or what do you need for the vocalist? Or why do you want me to join them as a vocalist? Or what can I do in MALICE MIZER?’ At that point, we already visualized the concert in Shibuya Kokaido (4/1 last year). And then we agreed that if we could make it come true, we could change the current (Japanese) music scene, musical tendency (or situation). The next day, Kami came to Mana’s house, and the first question Kami made to me was, 'Do you do wrestling or something?’ (laughs). Actually, at that point, I was almost 2 times as big as I am now, and actually I did many things. And then, since Kami had never listened to my songs, we went to Karaoke. –You mean they had an audition in Karaoke? No, it’s not true, (laughs). Mana, Kami, and I went to Karaoke and all of us sang. It was like a party, (laughs). –And there, only you kept singing non-stop, (laughs). It’s because Mana just kept selecting the songs, saying that, 'There’s no song I can sing’, (laughs). Kami sang a little bit, but I thought that if I didn’t sing there, we’d get back to silence again, so I kept singing, (laughs). We stayed there for an hour, and then I went to a ramen shop with Mana, (laughs). And then I had something to do in Kyoto and I went back there. –During the 3 days, you were determined to join MALICE MIZER? Uhm, I’m not sure. But anyway, at that time, they suddenly asked me if I could come to Tokyo. –Then after awhile, you came to Tokyo. Before that, did you join a band? Yes, I was a vocalist. –Didn’t you feel uncomfortable to wear make-up? Not at all. The most important thing to me is what the band does in their music. So if they need to wear make-up to achieve their goal, I don’t care. And in addition, I don’t dislike wearing make-up. I already knew the previous MALICE MIZER because I watched a video of MALICE MIZER at Mana’s place. –Was that the point you decided to join MALICE MIZER? By talking with the members, I realized they were interesting, unusual people. Their ideas were very interesting. I certainly felt that I could achieve some very interesting things with them. But I just couldn’t imagine what we could achieve because our trial (goal) was very unusual, (beyond the ready-made things). But we believed that when we could visualize our goal, we could achieve our goal. People would be attracted to our music to comfort or to seek something for themselves. There was no certain ground but we just had a conviction. We just believed we could achieve it. –By the way, what about the meeting with Yu~ki? It was a while after I came to Tokyo. I don’t remember clearly when it was, but I clearly remember he was like Bruce Lee with a moustache, (laughs). –Did you know he was the one who was trying to grow a moustache on stage? Of course. I guess everyone felt the same way as me but when I first met the members, I couldn’t distinguish between them, (laughs). But since Yu~ki was the last member I met, I could recognize him. I don’t know why, but when I first met him, I felt like I already knew him. –How did you feel when you played music together for the first time? The first rehearsal was awful. Since at that point, they were kind of giving up their activity because of their previous vocal’s departure, they didn’t play music together often. They were just awful. I was really frightened to see that, and they themselves were frightened, (laughs). They really practised hard to get back to their previous level or progress to improve it. But we did it really hard. I guess we made a rehearsal everyday. –You mean until the day of Revival (10/10/95)? Yes. Since then, we have been really busy. I already felt stressed out, (laughs). Because in Tokyo there’s no favorite nightscape, and I didn’t bring my car, and I wasn’t familiar with Tokyo, I kept saying, 'Give me nightscape! Give it to me’, like a nightscape addict, (laughs). Since I kept saying that, Kami drove me to a park named 'Kasai rinkai Koen’, and which was not my favorite, so it was the only time we drove there together. After that, I’ve been there alone, (laughs). –Why’d you go there if it’s not your favorite? I didn’t know where else to go, (laughs). But anyway, I’ve been there often. I was sitting on the beach and thinking about many things. –Were you uncomfortable in Tokyo? Yes. I’m awfully scared of getting on trains. If I get on a train, I couldn’t help shaking, (laughs). Once, I got on a train with Mana, and walked around the station. There were so many people that I felt sick, and even though I walked rather slowly, the people walking towards me were like almost running and hitting me. I was so stressed that I yelled out, 'Woaaaahh’, I couldn’t stand it, (laughs). But after yelling, people gave way (and avoided me) so that I could walk easily, (laughs). –It’s understandable for the people to avoid you. At that point, I thought, 'Oh, when I’m in Tokyo, I should do this’ but I found Mana was away from me and looking at me from a distance, (laughs). –I rather understand Mana’s feelings. By the way, did you grow your hair long at that point? When I first came to Tokyo, my hair was not so long. Actually, my hair grows very rapidly. –You mean you might be very sexual? (There’s a prevailing idea in Japan that if your hair grows very fast, it means you’re very sexual.) The word of extremely sexual is not very good, (laughs). You better say that I’m a very honest person, (laughs). Anyways, since my hair grows fast, when we did our first live, I tied up my hair on the backside and made my bangs stand. It’s because the hairstyle went with our song’s concept or image best. We did the first live in ON AIR WEST, and then we started the Tour. –How did you feel during the Tour? What I hated the most was that there were tacit regulations among the previous MALICE MIZER fans, such as not to make sounds when they join the live, or to keep silent to appreciate the live, or like that. Our members didn’t force them to do that. The fans voluntarily set up such regulations. But I hated it a lot and I suggested that the audience could be more free. And then the live itself has changed gradually. I just thought it’s meaningless to keep doing the same thing. Because of that change, some previous fans left from the new MALICE MIZER because they were not pleased with the new MALICE MIZER. But we didn’t force them to stay with us. Of course, I admit there were so many blames, but I thought I just didn’t care about that. It’s because I thought the vocalist is a kind of representative of the band, so if the vocalist is changed, the band itself can be a different one. So the name of MALICE MIZER has not changed. But since we revived ourselves, we started to play the music which has a different concept and different viewpoint from the previous one. –What was the most difficult thing about joining MALICE MIZER? Maybe it’s taking such a long time to realize our plan (goal). In other words, for example, the live in Nihon Sei Nenkan was based on the idea which we had 2 years ago. It was very annoying to take so long a time to make it come true. –So now you’re thinking about a very distant future vision of MALICE MIZER? We just want the fans to feel our stage in their own free way. We always prepare excitement on the stage. We won’t present the way to see our stage. But we just want to say that to be free always means to be responsible for it. We are creating our MALICE MIZER world while looking for every possibility, but we don’t intend to be just selfish. –This is the last question. Do you think you’re pleased to keep joining MALICE MIZER?
Well, I might feel pleased when we realise our vision in a closer way, without compromise…
