[fight back] @alaricxsaltzman - Tumblr Blog

animatedtext

#AAAAAAHHHHHH #[ musings ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

iguanamouth

current emotion: any picture of spike the dinosaur from land before time

#[ musings ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

felderwin

My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it

#[ musings ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

unrecommendedblog

anyone else just want like a wife and a dog

#[ musings ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

incorrecttvdquotes

Alaric: Hey girl what’s up?

Damon: *immediately grabs Ric’s hand* Girl you look fierce today and we love it!

Alaric: What are you doing?!

Damon: Dude if you get a girlfriend you won’t have anytime for me.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: Siracha? Beer? That’s all? As your father, I’m disappointed in this diet.

Jeremy: You’re not my father, Ric.

Alaric: I brought you kale, Jeremy. Kale and my love.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. jeremy gilbert ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: Damon, your only skill is illegal in 26 states.

Damon: It’s 27. Arkansas buckled.

#omg #[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: *hands shoes to Elena* All right. These are for you. There’s a steel toe in there. Don’t be afraid to use it.

Elena: Thanks, Dad.

Alaric: I’m not your dad.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. elena gilbert ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

incorrecttvdquotes

Why is your instinctive response to run TOWARD explosions?!

Alaric Saltzman (to Damon Salvatore)

#[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: Damon - he was here. I can feel it.

Stefan: What? He hasn't been here, has he?

Alaric: Smell that?

Stefan: Smell what?

Alaric: The room - it smells like Chanel No. 5 and disappointment.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. stefan salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

incorrecttvdquotes

That’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.

Alaric Saltzman

#[ musings ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: I’m going to Taco Bell. You want anything?

Elena: I want my family back.

Alaric: Yeah, I got like $12.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. elena gilbert ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Meredith: Mr. Saltzman, how much exactly do you drink?

Alaric: Well, not much. I mean, I'll have a glass and a half of wine at lunch. Then, nothing like an ice cold zima when the sun's setting. Zinfandel spritzers while I'm cooking dinner. Red, not white. Several gin and tonics with my evening meal, which take me straight into dessert and some delicious cherry wine. Then I'll curl up with the latest issue of O Magazine and half a bottle of scotch.

Alaric: Then, a quick shot of whiskey before bed so my dreams are peculiar and nice. Come morning, I can hardly get out of bed without a spicy Bloody Mary — can you blame me, señorita, I like the bite, cha cha! Then a couple of wine coolers, two, three, in the mid-morning for energy, zappo! And what do you know we're back at lunch, and it means wine time in my book.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. meredith fell ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

incorrecttvdquotes

Alaric: Would you consider us adorable? Damon: No! We’re adult men. We’re cute.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: I want to say some names to you. Jeffrey Dahmer. Ted Bundy. Elijah. What do they have in common? We don't know them very well. What do we know about Damon? We know he's nuts.

Damon: Let him finish!

Alaric: We know he's dangerous, unpredictable, selfish. When he talks, he over and under emphasizes words seemingly at random. When he eats, he holds his fork like a murderer's knife, gnawing at its skewered payload like a deranged woodland rodent.

Damon: Bring it home!

Alaric: We know he smells like Band-Aids, we know he exhibits, nay, flaunts proudly obvious symptoms of over a half dozen disorders you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy's pets.

Damon: Feel the heat!

Alaric: We know these things about Damon and so much more than we ever wanted to know about him. Why? Because it's there. It's on the surface. What you see may be what you don't want, but it's also what you get. Who is this Original? This vampire question mark, this number 8 scoop of vanilla tapioca with a PhD in being swell and a Masters in "Everybody loves me"? Who is it?! We may never know. I only know one thing: Nobody is this good a person...and nobody can get any worse than Damon.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

Alaric: As a matter of fact, I'd like you to be Lizzie's and Josie's godfather.

Damon: I... am honored.

Alaric: I... am lying.

#[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

incorrecttvdquotes

Alaric: *answers the phone* Hello? Damon: It’s Damon. Alaric: What did he do this time? Damon: No, it’s me, Damon. It’s actually me. Alaric: What did you do this time?

#[ musings ]#[ ft. damon salvatore ]#[ you look like a full grown alpha male douchebag ;; queue ]

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