ALBACORE: SEARCH FOR THE PHANTOM 'WICHCRAFT

Join us as we voyage in pursuit of the perfect (deli style) tuna fish sandwich.

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Rudy’s Cant Fail Cafe - Raise your fist, raise your tuna!

Rudy’s Cant Fail Cafe

http://www.iamrudy.com/

Oakland, CA (Also Emervyille,CA)

Score: 5

Rudy’s Can Fail Cafe is a San Francisco East Bay diner, with only 2 locations - and co-owned by GREEN DAY! Or, Mike Dirnt to be exact (bassist). I will admit. I am a self-proclaimed punk rock enthusiast. Since I was 14. YES. How is that for HELLA STREET CRED, YOU POSERS! Although, I was never into Green Day because they are FAR too mainstream and “pop” for my hard-core taste. In fact, I totally snubbed my punk rock nose at those POSERS for decades in highschool.... Okay, okay. I cannot lie. I secretly sang along to Dookie at the top of my lungs, driving around in my 1997 Subaru covered in Fat Records and Epitaph band stickers; but rest assured, when I pulled up to the venues, I promptly changed it to the REAL shit like CRASS and GRIMPLE. Whatever! Green Day’s Tuna Sandwich is AMAZING.

These luke-warm MTV punk’s helped to build out the legacy of Gilman, and that entire generation of music that has inspired millions. They have “KEPT IT REAL” in sorts. There is always a common thread - and in this case, let it be THY SANDWICH THAT UNITES THE KIDS!

I first went to Rudy’s back in 2010, simply because I thought it was a great tip-of-the-hat to the song Rudie Cant Fail by the Clash, I had no idea Mike Dirnt co-owned it, and it had legions of fans. I enjoyed the punk-diner decor, prices were decent, there was pictures of some of my favorite artists eating there hung on the wall, and the song’s were better than most places you usually have to eat at. But, I NEVER had the tuna sandwich. They also cater to all vegan, vegetarian, and meat eating crowds exceptionally well. The menu is perfectly balanced to accommodate all of these diets. The service and decor is good, but not TOOOOOO good. It is a step above the usual diner, young punk inspired servers, unique decor with modified barbies adorning the wall, punk rock playing, and song-inspired dishes like: KERPLUNK, GOD SAVE SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN, etc. (If I have to explain the references here, cough - ahem... you my friend are simply NOT PUNK ENOUGH!)

ANNNYYYWAYYYY, today, was the defining moment. I was expecting a totally safe mediocre sandwich. Like a mid-tempo, teenage angst song, but totally melodic with no curse words or direct political persuasion being  played on MTV. I ordered The sandwich as is, on an Italian roll. I was expecting a huge gimick add-on, like “Sex Pistols Secret Sauce”, or “Clash Capers” - but alas, NOTHING!?

Sometimes, a simple classic should just not be messed with, and Rudy understands this. A simple LTO Tuna sandwich on an Italian roll may be best served as-is. No crazy marinated toppings, or out-of-the-box things like falafel to be added, capers, artichoke hearts, fruits, nuts, secret sauces... I have seen my share of crazies.

Rudy kept it simple, and SOLID. Leaving me fired-up, inspired, and proud of the albacore from which it came from. It was a hard judgment, but RUDY HAS EARNED THE FIRST 5 STAR REVIEW! 

Here is the disco before the breakdown on this HARDCORE-ALBACORE!

Bread Choice: 5

French roll. Served warm and slightly toasted, yet soft in and firm in the center. It was not pressed, the inside of the bread did not cook... It was just enough to get warm with an outside crunch. PERFECT!  

Tuna Quality: 5

HARD CORE ALBACORE! White Chunk. The presentation included nice large chunks (not completely shredded to oblivian) 

Mix: 5

Not to much mayo, and not dripping wet. Kept it SIMPLE! I love this... The lettuce provided a crisp crunch (not soft and wilted like most places), the tomato was fresh. A very nice ratio of onion and celery to give it a little more spice and crunch. What I loved most about all of this, were the RATIOS. Nothing was in excess or to overpowering - this is a science folks.

Originality: 5

OOOH. This is where I throw you a curve ball. The sandwich was kept strictly traditional in a diner where it was damn sure to have a gimmick. You see... EVERY place we have been so far, has had a gimick add on. Whether it is lemon tuna, avocado, marinated things, capers, falafel.... They went balls out here and kept all that shit off the sandwich when they easily could have. So in essence, this IS original! 

Ambience: 5

Although the sandwich kept to traditional, you cannot ignore the decor, music, army of barbies on the wall, crowd/customers, servers, throwback to the old 50′s esque diner and punk vibe. In the Tuna Fish world, you are usually stuck with the same ol’ diner or sandwich shop. Big props for actually creating such a great sandwich with an actually enjoyable vibe. If I could give more points here, I would. 

Overall: 5

Fun, trendy diner that picks up off the throwback to the 50′s with a punk rock vibe. Fun decor, good service, and a surprisingly simple and awesome tuna fish sandwich. 

SCORE: 5 

OI!

-Brent

[albacorehero-blog]

Cafe Madeline: Monica From Friends

CAFE MADELINE: 3.6

SAN FRANCISCO, FINANCIAL DISTRICT

WWW.CAFEMADELINESF.COM

We are going to keep this review short-and-sweet. Much like the decor of this cutesy SF eatery. Cafe Madeline is an exclusively SF thing, with about 3 locations catering to the busy SF work-crowd. Walking in, the decor reminds me of something that Monica, from the 90′s sitcom “FRIENDS” would run. A cutesy, catering-centered, soccer mom type of feel. They have a nice pastry case, and the whole shop feels like a french-american inspired cafe - with a touch of suburban mom - Ya HURRD!

Let’s get to the TUNA! 

I tried a new entrance chant today: I approach the desk with a cheery, middle aged woman in a CHEFS COAT (WHOA, SEE ABOVE), asking me what I would like to have: I reply, Hi! I am just looking for the BEST TUNA FISH SANDWICH I HAVE EVER HAD!

She smiles, and said Tuna? Okay! And reaches into the far side of the glass case (where the pastries, and other deli stuff is showcased), and pulls out... A... PRE-MADE SANDWICH! WTF.

Best Tuna Sandwich Of My Life (BTSOML), usually does not include pre-made, it MUST be made-to-order. WHATEV. I will roll with the punches on this one. I pay, and take a seat - watching her from afar... YEP. I watched the whole process. You little Monica from Friends inspired sandwich artist, you just put the pre-made sandwich into a panini press and RE HEATED IT! IT’S A PRE-MADE REHEAT YOU MF’S!

OK. There are some problems here: First, it’s pre-made. Second, once you re-heat, or heat it up - the sandwich becomes a TUNA MELT. That is something entirely different, and the taste changes entirely. But, I patiently wait for the taste test anyway:

BREAD CHOICE: 3

Standard Italian roll style - not the best, seems like a standard, but not bad. Average rating for this. 

TUNA QUALITY: 5

Albacore Chunk - Tasted fresh, despite being a pre-made. Nicely done.

MIX: 3

Interesting choice with the addition of balsamic vinegar marinated onions. It was a nice touch, but over-powering. This seems to be a common thread, where delis throw in a feature, and then totally over-do it. Still, a nice touch. They mention capers on the menu, but there were few, if any, within the actual mix, and this would have helped it out quite a bit. Jack Cheese... Not my preference, but appreciate the effort - it was melted, which is not a good thing for this analysis. This mix seemed like it was trying to be unique, and provide something a bit edgy- but in the end, it was all misplaced. I must keep it at an average score. 

Originality: 3

I LOVE YOU FOR TRYING! I like the balsamic marinated onions - that is different. With the jack cheese, you have enough to say “original”. But, you totally overpowered with the onions, and due to the shitty pre-made-reheat, I feel like the whole sandwich could have been great, but fell to a totally average score. 

AMBIANCE: 4

Cute place! Free water station, cute pastries all over, surrounded by white and pink, girly type of feels. The chef’s coat that they wear keeps it professional looking. Clean, nice sitting area, and they had the recycling, compostable bins. I like it, but I refrain from giving it a 5 because it is a bit TOO much on the whole girly, french, american, cafe vibe. Just a bit much, GIRRRRL!

OVERALL:

Cute deli eatery, but clearly focused on catering, and pumping out pre-made shiz to the worker bees of San Francisco. Great potential for originality, but the execution fell flat.

SCORE: 3.6

TIL NEXT TIME CREW! 

-BRENT

[albacorehero-blog]

Gambino’s: A Reunited Love

GAMBINOS: 4.7

LOCATION: SF FINANCAL DISTRICT

WWW.GAMBINOSNYSUBS.COM

Captain Babs on the bridge. 

On our maiden voyage, we came across the small Financial District shop known as Gambino’s New York Subs. This mom and pop spot caters to the mainly 9-5 worker bees in San Francisco’s downtown heart. The place is simple and offers a variety of your classic deli sandwiches and salads with simple, yet high quality taste on its side. I walked in expecting standard deli fare and was blown away by a flavor explosion so delicious, I feel bad for any sandwiches that come after this. It left an indelible mark on my soul. One that whispers softly against the waters of the deep, “TUNA...” 

I had been to Gambino’s many a morning as it is one of the few places in the area where you can get a tasty bagel sandwich and coffee for under $5. I had always noted with a slight nod of appreciation their variety of vegetarian and pescatarian friendly sandwich options sharing space with the same love as the beloved MBS of many a sandwich afficionado. One day after we had embarked on the quest for the elusive tuna sandwich, my stomach growled in turmoil. It was only a matter of time before the hanger set in. Time was running out. As luck would have it, Gambino’s had no line and offered respite for the weary traveler. I entered seeking in earnest, would they have the tuna salad I so desired?

They did. Called Montauk, which I assume is a reference to the quaint sea village located at the end of Long Island. Within about five to ten minutes, my sandwich, along with a cup of tomato soup, was called and handed to me in a white paper bag, containing the paper-wrapped sandwich, the cup of soup, a spoon, and two napkins.

I thanked the tuna gods for smiling upon me and went along my merry way.

BREAD: 5

Gambino’s offers the option of a soft roll, an Italian roll, or a wheat roll for their sandwiches. Mine was on a fresh Italian roll. It was a delightful balance of a slight crunch on the outside, with fluffy goodness within. With rolls, the tendency can be that the ratio of bread to sandwich is dissapointingly overpowering. However, Giambino’s clearly knows what they are doing. The roll offered a way to hold onto the sandwich and caught all the goodness inside, without containing too much bread. 

TUNA QUALITY: 5

I couldn’t tell what kind of tuna it was, but nothing about it stood out in a bad way. The tuna was fresh and I get the feeling it came from an oil-packed can or glass as opposed to water-packed. IMO, this is vastly superior to water-packed cans. It manages to preserve the essence of the tuna and bring out its flavors.

MIX: 5

The deli’s own tuna salad was composed of tuna, olive oil, fresh herbs, artichokes, and capers. A very Italian version of the classic tuna salad we hold so near and dear. This salad is also offered by the half pint, which is a wonderful option for those avoiding bread. The capers and artichokes were a welcome touch and provided something a bit different than your standard pickle relish or celery which most places do when they add in ingredients to the tuna salad. The mix itself was well-balanced and though it used olive oil instead of mayo as its binding agent, I found it to be lighter and more refreshing and SUBSTANTIALLY less mushy than most mayo-based mixes. 

Now at Gambino’s, you have the choice between an East Coast or West Coast styled sub. East Coast provides your shredded LTO along with olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper, and herbs. With West Coast, you get your LTO with mayo, mustard, and pickles. Given that the place was called NEW YORK subs, I opted for East Coast and was pleasantly surprised by how the combo of vinegar and olive oil highlight the flavors of the sandwich and soaked into the bread. It also came with provolone cheese. One subtle aspect that I would be remiss if I did not highlight, was the fact that the sandwich was evenly composed so that from start to finish you received a bit that gave you a bit of the bread, the condiments, and the tuna. It was clear I was dealing with an EXPERT SANDWICH ARTIST 

AMBIANCE: 3.5

Giambino’s is in the SF Financial District, so there’s not much in terms of space and casual eating experiences that they can really offer, however, I believe their charm comes from recognizing that and keeping it simple and the prices reasonable. In SF, you can walk into some places who will charge you $15 for an “artisanal sandwich”. This is pretentious crap. Artistry comes in all forms, my friends, and simply because they are standard or classic, doesn’t mean you can overlook the details. And here’s what I liked:

A) My to-go bag had exactly what I needed -  no more, no less. Now, they didn’t use compostable materials for their utensils, which I would have prefered, but I appreciate that they didn’t give you a small book’s worth of napkins with your order. There’s no need for that.

B) the condiment station - should you choose to adulterate your sandwich - was neatly organized and well stocked.

C) For a quality sandwich, I was in and out of there in no time. They know what they’re doing.

D) Kind and no fuss service. The people who work at Giambino’s are straight forward, but always kind and get you exactly what you need without a lot of fuss. It’s all about the sandwich.

BONUS: They are across the street from a POPOS (Privately Owned Public Open Space), which provides a quiet spot to enjoy your sandwich when the weather is nice. 

Still, at the end of the day, Giambino’s is an average hole in the wall deli. I appreciate its simplicity, but would need to leave room for places that offer a nice eat-in experience.

ORIGINALITY: 5

You don’t need to make huge waves in order to impress me. The salad mix with artichokes, capers and olive oil base was delightful and I appreciate all the subtle extras from the to-go bag with no more and no less than what was needed and the option to go East or West Coast. This place meets the mark.

OVERALL:

I would be hard-pressed to find a better classic sandwich place that makes a good tuna sandwich - remember, not all delis can do this. Great mix without loading you down with mayo and cheese. Well done, Giambino’s, you’ve left a mark to beat. Thank you for such a wonderful tuna sandwich and I will be back to try it West Coast Style!

SCORE: 4.7

[albacorehero-blog]

Mr. Pickles: A.I.F

MR. PICKLES: 2

LOCATION: DUBLIN, CA

WWW.MRPICKLES.COM

First review! OKAY. I have been to this shop before... We are re-visiting shops to give a fresh review for the crew. A lot of these initial reviews are kind of like backlogging past experiences simply to get caught up. We MUST knock out some of these bigger, franchise players on our search. For you non bay area foodies, Mr. Pickles is a California small sandwich shop franchise, based primarily in the San Francisco bay area. I was extremely HOPEFUL of this shop, being a Bay Area champion, but I found it to be like a NEGLECTED Subway on its last leg. 

Like most Mr. Pickles, this particular shop was located in an older, suffering, strip mall. The franchise get’s decent reviews, but we have to assume that much of this is based on the other meat based sandwiches (MBS) - as crew of the albacore, we do not CARE. We are seeking only one thing: TUNA.  

It is important to note, we will ALWAYS order from the menu as-is. We want to experience THEIR suggested sandwich or recipe. So, as much as possible, we will not add in our personal likes for condiments, toppings, etc. In most cases, if given the option, we will always defer to the standard lettuce, tomato, onion (LTO). Otherwise, off-menu only. 

Lets start the analysis!

BREAD: 4

This is an incredibly important part of the sandwich - and possibly the redeeming factor for Mr. Pickles! Many shops will give you an option, so to  try and establish a base criteria to judge from - we will always defer to french (bread or roll), dutch crunch, or the standard white bread option. In this case, I went with dutch crunch. 

The bread was the best part of this meal! Soft, fluffy, FIRM, and with a nice crunch on top. Offering dutch crunch alone, is a nice touch that some shops just do not offer - this bread tasted fresh, with a great texture and nice fluff. It did not taste generic like Subway breads often do. Not the best Dutch Crunch I have had, but I damn well respect you for providing what you did. 

TUNA QUALITY: 2

The tuna itself should be solid or chunk white albacore, IMO. Sometimes, the tuna is “light tuna”, which is cheaper, and usually a mix of tuna, skipjack, big-eye, yellowfin, and bunch of other small-tuna variety. WHAT. There is a taste and texture difference - do not play games with me! 

THIS WAS LIGHT TUNA!!! 

“YOU ARE NOT HARD-CORE, UNLESS YOU ARE ALBA-CORE!”

MIX: 2

Okay, now we are getting into the depths of the deep! Nothing special here, but right away there was some major NO NO’s. First, way too much pepper - are you trying to mask something, Mr. Pickle? The tuna salad itself was laced with way too much pepper. Not to mention, the salad was RUNNY. C’mon folks, you know this scenario - when the tuna salad sits for way to long, and the mayo becomes watery, YUCK. No one likes a tuna salad that sits in a watery mayo base, AMIRIGHT! Now for the toppings (again, went standard LTO here). The shredded lettuce, onion, and tomato were clearly once frozen - it has that... DE-THAWED taste to it, much like Subway. However, the Cheese slice was nice and thick (cheddar), and the avocado was a nice touch. 

BONUS: You get a FREE cookie with your sandwich - My daughter, will write upon this in her CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE blog (yep, you heard that right) soon enough. This is was a nice touch. 

AMBIANCE: 1

Mr. Pickle. I REALLY wanted to love you. A Bay Area native, who dreamed of one day, not just becoming a pickle to be discarded - but pulling yourself up from your own pickle-boot straps to create a local sandwich chain... Love it. But, the sandwich was losing me, and the ambiance was not great. The shop operates like a TOGOS (another Cali sandwich chain) - where you have “stations” of sandwich makers to help people in line, yet you cannot see any ingredients, you are at the mercy of being called to the bench (so to speak)...there is a lot of sandwich making trust-talk that occurs as the artist nervously looks down and scrambles around with their hands (as the customer, you cannot see this! You just see someone with their head down, fiddling around with their hands. Then, you are sent to the cashier with no sandwich, nervously hoping they got everything right as you yelled your specifics over the high counter to someone who truly could not care. It kinda feels like pleading your case to a judge or something? I DUNNO! The result at both shops is always a bit disorganized and chaotic, especially when busy. Call me crazy, but I am just not a fan of this kind of ordering process - more on this later when we review TOGOS. 

HERE WAS MY SANDWICH ARTIST:

The tables were aligned parallel, with only about a half-foot distance from the ordering line. Which means, you get to eat with the line of people hovering right above you - thats right. Ass in face style. Since you are seated - and the line is standing, it is just a fact of science - and not the best way to dine - GROSS.

It feels and looks like a Subway - but without the mega franchise bucks to make it comfortable. There is no real character to the place.

The cashier had to fulfill a catering order at NOON, that took up so much damn time, people in line were leaving - and pissed! Otherwise, everyone was nice enough, and the staff seemed genuine. 

ORIGINALITY: 3

MR. PICKLE: You get some PROPS for the FREE COOKIE! 

OVERALL:

Great bread choice. Free cookie - everything else was sub-par. Do not fret, Mr. Pickle - we WILL return and know that you will step up your tuna fish game by focusing on the tuna salad, the mix, and fixing the horrendous ambiance. 

SCORE: 2.0 

[albacorehero-blog]

Own The Albacore Game

Hello! 

This is the FIRST post of what we anticipate to be a long and arduous, yet fun, journey into the underground world of the TUNA FISH SANDWICH GAME. My name is Brent Kekoa Ramos, and alongside me is co-captain Barbara M. Jwanouskos. Together, we have committed to finding the BEST tuna fish sandwich that the world has to offer - what we consider the “Phantom ‘Wichcraft”. The tuna fish sandwich space is something that all of the world participates within, yet no one has really owned it. Fear not, crew, we will own the albacore game and bring you to the light!

Why would someone take on such a serious, dangerous, and incredibly massive task? The answer is simple: at some point in a person’s life, one must look deep within the eye of the albacore, and ask themselves, “WHO AM I?” One afternoon, after receiving a blasphemous tuna fish sandwich, we immediately found our life calling, and knew that we had to give back to the world by finding the phantom ‘wich. You see, once we find this great, holy-grail of a sandwich (if it actually exists), and expose it to the world for all to enjoy, the days of mediocre and downright neglectful practices of most sandwich shops in the art of tuna fish, will have NO CHOICE but to raise their standards, and change their tuna game, so that no one will ever suffer from a shitty tuna fish sandwich EVER AGAIN!

We have established guidelines and a grading system for our journey, if you are part of the albacore crew, please review and get familiar with these:

CRITERIA:

Restaurants and Delis ONLY. No “home” or “DIY” sandwiches are eligible. Tuna salad (deli style/shredded) ONLY.

 No Ahi, or tuna steak types of sandwiches allowed. 

CATEGORES FOR JUDGEMENT:

Bread Choice  

Tuna Quality 

Mix (tuna salad and condiments) 

Ambiance

 Originality

POINT SYSTEM:

5 points eligible for each section. Total points will be averaged for a final score.

ANNUAL WINNERS: 

The tuna game is forever changing, and we like to see new up-and-comers. So, we will have a “BEST OF” at the end of every year as a way to keep the spotlight on the top tier. 

We will give special considerations to a “wild card” feature. When you have as much experience as us with tuna fish sandwiches, you see some CRAZY things. Some good, some bad, some ugly... For these occasional, adventurous culinary leaps we are bound to stumble upon, we may give a special lean to the grading. The same will be given to any special findings we come across with ambiance. 

ABOUT US: 

OKAY. I am sure you want to know a bit about your captains before you embark on this adventure. First off - We do NOT eat other types of meat. We subscribe to the “pescatarian” diet. We say this casually because it is actually the AI PONO diet, which is a deeper personal thang, and we just do not want to get into it right now with y’all. We only bring this up to point out that: 

A) we have no interest, and will not review any other types of sandwich.

B) because of our limited sandwich choices due to diet, we have an EXTENSIVE experience purely in the tuna game.

C) the tuna sandwich is treat for us, so the appreciation level is HIGH.

Other than that, we currently live in the San Francisco Bay Area. We are martial artists, love cats, collect tiki mugs, like punk rock -  and that’s about all the surface information this crew needs to know. The captains need to remain mysterious, glorified figures in order to keep any mutiny at bay. 

Alright! Everyone ready?! HERE WE GO!