alby 🌟

[kosmogrl]

let me get what I want please please please

[kosmogrl]

wait. turns out that sometimes even when I get what I want it’s not enough

[alby-noted]

when will the dread end? and to not be replaced by another so soon after

[hobshopeshop]

“cool tip” for the tasks that you hate, make you sleepy, seem endless and never-ending and so so boring: just multitask.

if you’re like me and know you Will just push it away and never actually work no matter how well you plan the study session, just: do five minutes and scroll for ten. text with friends during it. have a video in the background.

yes you would have it done faster if you “locked in” but, hand on heart, are you actually able to do that

⬆️ me working with my hate of required reading

[alby-noted]

im kind of too busy to talk but i think the sufferers of a level maths need to see this.

[alby-noted]

so people. I did a few past papers. I got a c, then a high b and then an A, which was actually a fair bit into the A boundary. So I feel less cooked. But I'm still struggling with all these little details. I still feel like people know more than me. I just know I'm going to come out of an exam and everyone is going to have done better than me. But... comparison kills the mind I guess. I'm not too cooked. it still depends on questions. if I start losing marks on maths questions then yeah maybe I am cooked but... I don't feel like a hopeless waste of a human being anymore. I was too sleepy to post this yesterday lol. anyway... exam in circa 3 hours and still so much to bang into my head so I'll get on that.

kind regards.

[alby-noted]

I just feel so hopeless for biology. I only did a past paper yesterday. I haven't even marked it. it did feel like it went okay but... I feel so hopeless. so much to learn and no time. internal battle of whether I hate my school more, or myself 🤪

[alby-noted]

chemistry unit 2. it was... okay. the general consensus in my school seems to be that it was easy and easier than unit 1... i don't really agree! it's making me feel like I've done poorly since I've been pretty high in my class all year, and they all sound like they've probably done better than me. of course, I feel there are things I did badly and things I did well. tbe big maths question! I know I got marks, but what was allat carbon dioxide water doohicky. well. I'm done with chemistry A/S level. looking at how terirbly i felt yesterday and this morning, it really could've been so much worse. he subject that determines whether I can pursue medicine has even decided. ugh. what comes now?

[alby-noted]

sooo... chemistry unit 2. I'm feeling pretty cooked tbh. my cookedness level was at its peak on the weekend when i got a C on a past paper (yikes dot com). Today at school I did a past paper and got an A and felt really good about things. Here's the thing - that was a relatively old past paper. I just did 2023 and yes I got an A but I got only around 50% of the marks and it's likely I only got an A because the grade boundaries were affected by covid. so yeah... um... I dont know if it even compsrss to how cooked i am for biology unit 2. but chemistry is tomorrow. a good paper can get me an A but... all of the papers I consider "good" seem to be in the past. WJEC don't like being nice anymore.

[bloomzone]

forever at war with myself because I know I can do better

[alby-noted]

real blast to the past with this type of post. anyway. I think this work might be too little too late. trying to teach myself biology as featured. I feel like I shouldn't be making notes this way - I've always rejected it - too full on, not enough abbreviation, too time consuming. anyway I did it. hope it sticks as well as it can. I also did a chemistry past paper today. I got a C. you're supposed to be able to see it but the picture of the whiteboard is covering it lol. anyway I need an A for uni. idk. I revised afterwards and understood a lot more but I'm really not sure. I didn't get any maths done. i don't want a repeat of last week. anywayyy (the REAL most common word on this blog (haha that's reference to my old post of which I'm the only one who reads lol)). prayers lol.

[foxyfred92]

Petition to simplify and rename organic chemistry as just “overwhelming chemistry” 🫣

[alby-noted]

so. pure maths. everyone ive spoken to feels it went poorly. i feel like im more confident - not because i think ive done better than them - but because i dont think any of them have lost as many marks as they think. i dont want to seem big-headed, coming off as i think ive done better than them, but im just trying to be more realistic rather than modest tbh. but yeah it was hard - of course it was. i really hope ive done well, ive been a sort of math goliath for a slong as i can remember. i dont want to disappoint. i know i shouldve revised harder, but im still hoping ive done well. now i need to prepare for the hard week, especially since it contains the biology content that i havent been taugt particularly well after not having a teacher for 4 months. so. thoughts and prayers lmao. i have hope. i dont know if i should. i could easily come out with bcc. (i dont want to say this then get even lower lol - but i genuinely dont think so). but i have hope. i didnt have that a week ago. maybe i can... maybe i can.

[alby-noted]

I'm not sure if it's because of the order I did the exam in... but I think chemistry went really well? I got things wrong of course, I messed up a lot of calculations and forgot a lot but... it feels like I did better than the past papers. this might be because I marked my past papers on a question by question basis, so I felt unconfident during the following questions but... idk? can I do this? did I do that? now for tomorrow: maths... maths is something I know well. I've been inside the brain of maths, maths is built into my chemistry but... a level maths doesn't make as much sense, the logic from one step to the next is less obvious... I think throughout my whole life I mastered gcse maths content because I was so proactive, but I'm in a whole new world now. the thing is, I was built for maths, I know maths so... when I get things wrong generally I can fix it. i hope I can fix everything tonight. and then to prepare for the hell of next week. As time goes on I'm feeling less confident about chemistry and in turn... it makes me wonder how horribly biology has gone. I should forget about it. move on. I dont have to make any desicions now. after my AS results ill be able to have a better idea on whether or not medicine is on the table. I feel less confident the more i think so... let's move on for now

[alby-noted]

so post exam: biology unit one... idk! it was a hard paper, i was being so negative when i was sat there in the exam - so many things i didn't know, so many things whch felt so hard. when i got out me and my friends did similar things - my super successful friends... i don't know if i got an a. i think i got somewhere between a and c. especially with how high grade boundaries are at the moment, potentially the lower part of that scale but i can't be sure. it is also hard to fathom because this is the unit which i was actually taught well - what does this mean for unit 2? as for chemistry im reaching a plateau of marks on past papers - a high B. i dont know how to fix it, these plateaus! (i think the language i have to use for science has altered my vocabulary lol). its like last year with GCSE biology where i got 46/80 3 times in a row on different past papers. its happening again and i dont know how to fix it. it was on the cusp of a and a* last year, and its the cusp of b and a now. an a would be fine, just like how a* at gcse would be fine, but im not sure im going to overachieve in the exam compared to past papers like i did at GCSE. HOW DO I ESCAPE MARK PLATEAU?

[alby-noted]

I got an A in a biology past paper - for the easier unit. Can I do it, can I not? the hope tells me there is a chance. I just can't pull it all together.

[alby-noted]

so my exams are in like 2 days. I just got a C on a maths paper and a B on a chemistry one. look at what I've done to myself.

[alby-noted]

so after focusing years of my life onto preparing to do medicine at uni I slowly realise I can't get those grades because I am too unmotivated and i have a lack of self discipline. there is nothing else I want to do with my life. maybe there will be but I've out everything so far into medicine. I am on medicine programmes, I have medicine things coming up. how will I go, knowing I'm not good enough for it anymore and I'm not as good as all these people?