Untitled

[cchaiart]

xiaoxiaoxiaoxiaoxiaoxi

[nagarnia]

Fluffy Dvalin

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Paladin: Rogue, I told you this morning, no knives at the dinner table.

Rogue: You said the breakfast table.

Paladin: It’s the same table!

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Rogue: I don’t go to my happy place.

Rogue: I go to my high lonesome place.

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Rogue: I never know what to say to people at funerals.

Bard: Just say ‘I’m sorry for your loss’, then move on.

Rogue, at a funeral: I’m sorry for your loss. Move on.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: Paladin, I will seriously pay you to shut up.

Paladin: That's not your money.

Rogue: But it could be yours for five minutes of silence!

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Rogue: I would do anything for you.

Cleric: Good to know.

Rogue: I would kill for you.

Cleric: Tell me what you’re leaving out.

Rogue: I may have already killed for you.

Cleric: *sighs* Yeah, that checks out.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

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Warlock: We have some things in common.

Paladin: Breathing.

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Bard: Wait a minute! Are we hugging? Have we done this before?

Rogue: No. If you tell anyone, I'll slit your throat.

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Paladin: How many times do I have to tell you NOT TO MURDER PEOPLE!

Rogue: Once, I'm just not going to listen anyway.

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Sorcerer: I asked the Warlock because I knew they wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences.

Paladin: The Warlock IS a lecture about consequences!

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Rogue: If I get shot, do I own the arrow? Can I keep it?

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Paladin: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Fighter: I’ve been zoned out for the last two and a half hours.

Sorcerer: I got distracted about halfway through.

Rogue: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: The lengths I would go to to both get attention and avoid it... astounding.

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Paladin: And you’re willing to risk your lives for this?

Rogue: ...I won’t risk my life, but I assume I can outrun anything, so I’m in.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Bard: Hey, what’s the best way to not get caught for a crime?

Rogue: You-

Paladin: DON’T COMMIT THE CRIME!