Alex had never been a new student until she arrived at Cold Springs High the first day of freshman year. She’d been in town for a little over a month and had made no effort to make friends. Her little brother Max was starting seventh grade at a different school, and all she could think about while sitting at an uncomfortable desk was how she needed to be with him, not staring at the floor in private terror as the teacher rambled on. It wasn’t Max’s fault they’d been ripped from their apartment in Chicago late one evening by their dad.
“Pack a quick bag,” he’d told them. “You’re going to visit Jax. You won’t need much.”
It was one of hundreds of lies he’d told them over the years.
Jax had left home the year before after graduating high school. He couldn’t get out fast enough. Alex felt the same, but she had Max to think about. She’d always had Max to think about.
“Alexandra, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?”
Alex glanced at the teacher, temporarily leaving behind the memory of their final days in Chicago. Mrs. Henderson meant well, but every word felt like an attack. “It’s Alex,” she replied smoothly despite the anxiety building within. “And I’d rather not.”
A deep chuckle from behind her as well as a couple scattered gasps, but Mrs. Henderson didn’t pay attention. She kept her eyes on Alex, like she knew exactly why she was in Springs. Like she knew exactly what she’d done. “Alex,” she said, her voice gentle and firm at the same time. “I understand a new school can be difficult, but I’m going to need you to participate.”
The anxiety that had lived with Alex for weeks continued to build, making her more insufferable as a result. “And I’m going to need you to respect the fact that I don’t want to fucking participate.”
Alex learned before the age of eight that cursing always did the trick with adults. Vulgar. Disrespectful. Shameful. Careless. Wild. She wore her words like a shield because it was all she had, and she needed them more lately than she ever had.
“If you’re not willing to participate, you’ll go to the principal’s office until class is over and we can have a chat.”
Alex didn’t need a second invitation. Anything was better than a room full of judging eyes and the smell of pheromones. “Can’t wait,” she said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder as she left the room, ignoring a low whistle along the way.
She leaned against a locker in the hall, closing her eyes. Five weeks had passed, and her shit still wasn’t together. She’d need to learn to harden herself more.
Alex’s dad was a hard man. He was hard because his wife ran off with another man. He was hard because he was left to raise three young kids on his own. He was hard because the alcohol came before them. He was hard because his boss was always on his ass. He was hard because he knew he needed to keep his job no matter what, and sometimes that meant turning a blind eye.
“I’m going out for more beer,” he called out one night at his boss’s house. They ate dinner over there often with him. Max was at a friend’s house for dinner, and Alex only went because it meant she was promised a good meal.
She was in the kitchen drying dishes when her dad’s boss, Karl, walked in. He was the kind of man whose eyes lingered and whose hugs lasted too long, but her dad said he was family so she never mentioned it.
“You’re turning into a pretty little thing, Alexandra,” he said from the doorway. “I bet the boys are chasing you all over this city.”
Alex didn’t have to look to know he was staring. “Chasing and failing,” she said.
Karl let out a deep laugh and moved further into the kitchen, stopping at her side and taking a plate to dry. “Waiting for the right one?”
Alex thought of Bobby, a boy she liked a few streets over, and smiled. “Something like that.”
“Something tells me the boys are wasting their time,” Karl said, his beer-stench breath hitting her face as he leaned closer. “What you need is a man.”
“I think I’m too young to bother with either,” Alex said. She didn’t actually think that since she’d been messing around with Bobby for weeks, but it sounded safe in the moment.
His hand rested over her wrist, gripping it. “I think you’re just right.”
Alex opened her mouth to speak as she tried to pull away, but Karl’s mouth was on hers before she could get far with either. Instinct told her to fight against him, but every attempt left her worse off. Within several flashes of moments, they were on the ground with dishes smashed and scattered around them. Karl was too focused on fucking her that he hadn’t seen the knife, but Alex saw nothing else.
The sharp tip entered him just before he could enter her.
Once. Twice. More times than she could count. Tears poured from her eyes, but she kept going until he stopped screaming. Once it hit her what had happened, she pushed him off of her and ran.
She was home within minutes, relieved Max didn’t see her on her way upstairs. She got in the hot shower and scrubbed her body raw, the quiet sobs returning.
She’d go to jail. It didn’t matter if it was self-defense. No one ever believed girls, and her dad would out her the moment he got back to the house and saw what she did. She had to leave, and she had to take Max with her.
It was a half hour before Alex left the shower. She changed and walked into her room, seeing her drunk dad on the other side with the knife in his hand.
“You left the evidence behind,” he said, his eyes glued to her. He was his usual drunk self, but there was something else there. He hadn’t called the police. He had the knife and hadn’t called the police. He held out his hand. “Towel.”
Alex immediately removed the towel that was holding her hair up and gave it to him. She watched him wrap the knife in it, then she whipped around as she heard footsteps.
“What’s going on?” Max asked, looking between the two of them. He looked confused, but not alarmed. He hadn’t seen the knife.
“Pack a quick bag.” Their dad turned his attention to Max. “You’re going to visit Jax. You won’t need much.”
Max still liked his brother and looked excited about this turn of events. He also knew better than to question their dad when he’d been drinking.
“You’re too drunk to drive,” Alex said once Max was gone.
“But you’re not,” he said.
Alex didn’t have her license yet, but she knew how to drive. “We’ll be ready in ten minutes.”
Her dad walked up to her, his hand clutching the toweled knife. “I’ll clean up your mess this one time, but you don’t breathe a word to this of your brothers or anyone else. Not today, not ever. You hear me, girl?”
Alex let out a shaky breath and nodded. “I hear you.”
Alex opened her eyes as she heard a voice, and she saw some guy from her class standing there. “What?” she asked.
“I said what you did in there was fucking hot,” he said, holding out a hand. “I’m–”
Alex started toward the exit when she felt the guy’s hand grab her wrist. She yanked free and turned, quickly slamming him against the lockers. “Touch me again and you’ll lose your hand.”
The look was somewhere between scared and turned on. That look would follow her for years. She’d build her reputation on it. A bitch was better than a target. But for now, all she wanted was to get out of the building and go… where? She couldn’t go home after everything that had happened. She hadn’t seen her mother in nearly ten years, so that was out. Extended family had disowned them over the years for various bullshit reasons. And she didn’t want to deal with Jax’s girlfriend at their place.
Alex left the school and ran until she arrived at Max’s school. She claimed a family emergency and got him out early. Once they were a block from the school, she pulled him into a tight hug.
Max didn’t ask questions. He never pried when it came to Alex. He always let her come to him on her own time. But she couldn’t tell him about this. She couldn’t tell him it was her fault they left Chicago, because a part of her still felt that it was. She couldn’t tell him their dad saved her ass this one time because she knew he only did it to save his own. She couldn’t tell him she killed a man. She couldn’t risk him thinking of her as anyone but the sister who would do anything in the world to protect him.
vaporwave
andulkaphoto
dededos
germansingergirl
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon
pixelskylines
ellievsbear
dailybridgerton
theartofmadeline
