hello beloved followers and mutuals. i've finally accepted the fact that i've gotten into supernatural again after a decade away and made a sideblog. come find me at @kinky-cas if you'd like to watch my descent back into the madness of my youth!

#extradirty

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@theartofmadeline
KIROKAZE
sheepfilms

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
almost home
Cosimo Galluzzi
styofa doing anything
art blog(derogatory)
ojovivo
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RMH

roma★
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle
Stranger Things
noise dept.
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@geneticdriftwood
hello beloved followers and mutuals. i've finally accepted the fact that i've gotten into supernatural again after a decade away and made a sideblog. come find me at @kinky-cas if you'd like to watch my descent back into the madness of my youth!
THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!
Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space
Don't forget to play it loud as fuck
please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.
This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.
It took them two tries to ban it?
Can we ban it from Earth, too?
I highly recommend reading the entire article OP’s screenshot came from. “The words that are uttered change with each performance, and are occasionally somewhat intelligible” 🤣
It was worth also looking up the B-side of the same album solely for the whiplash of hearing this guy talk normally to the band during the first 10 seconds and then the song starts at 0:11. See, he’s perfectly capable of pronouncing comprehensible English at a reasonable volume, he is choosing to sing like this.
"a one-man band incapable of playing any instrument, singing in tune, or keeping in time even with himself"
this picture of a chip pan oil fire from the wikimedia cookbook is so strikingly sublime
Carry on my wayward son
A pitfall a lot of people fall into when drawing afro-textured Black hair is that they draw the curls as if they were loose, using sharp shapes that imply a very different flow than you'd find with 4c-adjacent coils.
See below:
While all three are hair textures people can have, larger shapes and sharper points show an increased loss of texture. Ideally, you should be using small, fairly uniform shapes if you aren't familiar enough with Black hair to experiment with how you show texture.
There are a lot of ways to use sharpness and small detail when designing Black hairstyles that don't necessitate looser curls! Shaping/styling can really take you almost anywhere.
And don't just listen to me! Check out Ice @creatingblackcharacters for beautiful Black-made art and her incredibly detailed syllabus. The more you pay Black people their due attention, the better you'll get.
Ok I put this on FB but it can't hurt to put here too. We need help with Fantine!
Dog location: Northeast Georgia, just outside metro Atlanta and near the NC/TN/SC borders. TL;DR: Really sweet stray dog has ringworm; current foster is immune compromised; need someone to help by housing her for the duration of her treatment. Only need a short-term foster (approximately a month is the estimate for ringworm treatment? up to six weeks, I guess) and we can help find a permanent placement for her when her treatment is complete.
Details: Fantine is a stray dog we have been fostering for about the last month, she has a wonderful temperament (very sweet and trusting with people, quite resilient, friendly to all the dogs she has met) and is about a year and a half old. She has had all her vaccines and flea/tick/heartworm treatment and was spayed almost three weeks ago. and is healing up from it really well.
She's also ringworm positive, and I have some serious immune-related health conditions. The vet who diagnosed her was worried about her staying in the house with me even though she has been in quarantined in the laundry room and we are being very cautious about biosecurity.
Our local shelter is full and doesn't have the resources to help us right now. We really, *really* need help finding a place for her to finish her treatment. She has been started on oral and topical meds and is receiving anti-fungal baths. She's a really, really good and easy dog (or we wouldn't have fostered her at all) but it's not longer feasible to keep her here, and I don't know what to do. Feel free to reach out and ask me any additional questions if you have them. Willing to drive her somewhere if it will get her to a good foster. Thanks for reading.
as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around
practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance
“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!
I had noticed these strange little occurrences all my life. A bird would fly past my window and it'd sorta look like it was half there, half not. I'd glance up at a clock and for a moment, the second hand would be in two places at once. Never really thought much about it. I thought it was just normal. Someone told me once about the clock hand illusion where you flick your eyes and it looks like time stops for a half second or so, I figured it was something weird like that.
But one day, I think it was August 2021, I flipped a coin. Thinking back, I think it might have been the first time in my life I'd ever flipped a coin. But we were deciding where to eat, me and my friends.
And then it happened. The coin landed on the table, heads... and also on the floor, tails. I tracked the coin with my eyes, but suddenly realized I was looking at two things at the same time. It was like crossing your eyes, and seeing things kinda overlaid on top of eachother, kinda mixing and fading in and out, but with four eyes instead of two.
It was such a weird experience. At first I just stood there kinda motionless, trying to figure out what was going on. Then my friend bent down and picked up the coin off the floor, and said "Hah! Tails! Pizza!" and also she just stood there and said "Damnit. Heads. Guess we're gonna get burgers after all."
And I looked down at her and up at her at the same time.
That's really when the desynch started. I reached for the coin on the table and held a fuzzy, half-there, transparent coin in my hand.
I began to feel kinda sick. We got in the car and things got more and more confusing. Thank goodness I wasn't driving that day. My friends were having two increasingly different conversations and I just sat there kinda dissociating. By the time we got to the two different restaurants I was nauseated and I had a bad headache. I stayed in the car in the parking lot at the pizza place for a few minutes until the other car going to the burger place parked. One of my friends was worried and stayed with me, so that was nice. But when I tried getting out of the car, everything went wrong.
One of my bodies walked right into another car and fell down on the ground, while the other stopped and froze in place. The completely different sense of proprioception completely broke me.
I was basically bedridden for a week. Slowly I relearned how to move, and walk, and talk. I had two bodies, in two timelines, connected by a single consciousness. My brain(s?) had to learn how to control two bodies at the same time.
It's like, pretty weird, but I'm used to it these days. My two sets of eyes no longer overlay on top of one another, they're kinda separate. It's hard to describe. I think my brain got better at multitasking too, I can walk in one timeline and draw in the other, for example.
Things kept getting more and more different, as much as I tried to enforce keeping things the same. Finally I started seeing my therapist again.
I had to convince her that what I was experiencing was real. So I asked her to think of her favorite food and her favorite color. Then in the "Burger" timeline I asked her to tell me her favorite food, and in the "Pizza" timelines I asked her to tell me her favorite color. And I told her her favorite color in the burger timeline and her favorite food in the pizza timeline (Spaghetti and Red, btw.)
She quizzed me on a few other things and sometimes her answers differed between the two timelines which was pretty frustrating, and I don't think she really believed me at first, but she was nice enough to play along at least. And like, not have me committed.
I ended up scheduling my therapy so that I have meetings on pizza tuesday and burger friday, so they're kinda spaced out more evenly. It also just makes the meetings a little less confusing. Ironically doing the same thing in both timelines is actually more distracting than doing different things.
In late 2022 I transitioned. I decided to come out in the burger timeline and stay in the closet in the pizza timeline, so if everything fell apart I'd still have one normal timeline. And like, my parents did not support me. Most of my friends did, but some of them drifted away. And I found that just made me resentful of my parents and those friends in the pizza timeline. And the dysphoria of being a guy in the pizza timeline while living as a woman in the burger timeline was killing me. So when I got on HRT in early 2023 I decided I couldn't take it anymore, I had to transition in both timelines. So I did. Ironically things went a little smoother in the pizza timeline, probably because I was already more confident about presenting female.
I ended up making some transfem friends in the burger timeline, and I sought them out in the pizza timeline too.
It's kind of a mixed bag, this phenomenon. You know like, pain is a lot worse. One week I had a bad tummy ache in the pizza timeline and a bad toothache in the burger timeline. Or like, if I have back pain in one timeline, not having back pain in the other timeline doesn't relieve the feeling at all.
It's such a cool thing, like. When I first started out I had all these conflicting signals in my limbs and body and stuff. But now it's just like. Yeah I have a pizza arm and a burger arm, just like I have a left arm and a right arm. They're the same, but different.
When I make a drawing in one timeline, I don't have access to it in the other timeline, which is really annoying because I keep wanting to show people art I made in the other timeline. One day I'll figure out some kind of interdimensional data transfer protocol. I mean I guess I could like, convert the file into hexadecimal text, and then manually type it out and hope I don't make any mistakes. I'd have to compress the hell out of the file though. Maybe I'll try that one of these days when I don't have anything to do in either timeline.
But I get to spend more time with my friends, because I can schedule hanging out on different days of the same week. Does get kinda confusing when I confuse things that happened in one timeline for another.
Because like, ever since that coin flip, the timelines have been steadily moving further apart. You'd be surprised how little the weather has changed. Like, sometimes there's a little rain shower in one timeline a few minutes earlier than in the other, but all the big storms and hurricanes and stuff are basically the same. I guess it's harder to influence these continent-scale systems than the butterfly effect predicts.
I get to see almost twice as much meteors during meteor showers because I can look in two directions at once. Meteors hit the atmosphere in exactly the same way at exactly the same time.
But it does affect a lot of other little things. Even when you don't realize it, you affect the lives of everyone you come into contact with in little ways, and that spreads. I know people with different jobs in each timeline, people who have different relationships. Even people I don't know that well.
I wasn't quick enough in the pizza timeline to keep my friend from. Well. To save my friend's life. But I rushed over to her house in the burger timeline and talked her down. It's so weird, grieving a person you still talk to every week. Because it ended up being this kind of abstract pain. Everyone else is missing her and you're standing there like. Yeah. I have plans to see a movie with her on burger tuesday. I went to her funeral just to make sure that I saw the dead body so I could really internalize that she was gone. And I still didn't cry. It made me feel like a terrible person.
My friends never really take me all that seriously when I talk about being split like this. They kinda play along but I can tell they think it's a joke. It's whatever. But my friend's girlfriend came into my DMs one night sobbing and cry-typing and begging me to let her talk to her gf one last time. I wasn't sure it was a good idea. But I relented, and made plans to have a sort of interdimensional seance.
I could tell my friend--we'll call her Elsie, and we'll call her girlfriend Robin. I could tell Elsie was pretty awkward about it. I think she felt guilty on behalf of her other, dead self. Robin kept saying stuff like "how could you kill yourself, how could you do this to me," and I would have to say that, and Elsie was just like "I'm sorry." And it was really hard to get Robin to understand that we weren't talking to Elsie's dead spirit, we were talking to her in another timeline. I told her she didn't have to apologize, and I told Robin that guilt tripping the dead was kind of rude.
After that things went a little more smoothly, Robin asked about how Elsie's life had gone, how their relationship had progressed you know like if they were still together, things like that. Elsie said some stuff that I wouldn't have known, and Robin was like. Wow you really are talking to Elsie aren't you?
And I was just like :| yep.
Ever since then my friends keep trying to get my help with stuff. Like they'll ask me what their other self is doing, like, ok, for instance, my friend, we'll call her Jane, she wanted to ask out her crush, and she was like ok. Can you ask the burger version of my crush if she likes me back. Which kinda throws the burger version of her under the bus doesn't it!
And another of my friends wanted to know if she'd regret quitting her job, so she told me to ask the other her to quit her job, and then if it went well she'd do the same. I did ask, and she said no, obviously.
The kinda scary thing is, every once in a while I'll see some of those artifacts that I used to see, like, little tiny desynchs within each timeline. I only recently got used to being in two timelines at the same time, I don't think I can handle being in three or four. My brain's already better at handling the desynch, like, one time I managed to move my finger in two directions at once all in the pizza timeline. But I'm really scared of the desynch multiplying over time. Maybe it's inevitable, but my main strategy is just to not flip any coins for the rest of my life.
the thing is like. i get that it's scary and makes people who do desire to get pregnant uncomfortable when we talk about the brutality and violence of pregnancy and the damage that pregnancy can do to your body
but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.
the lies around pregnancy - that it's inherently safe, that it doesn't do you permanent damage, that it's only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like
all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that
there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are
but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo
this is a process that permanently changes most people's bodies, and that's even if the pregnancy doesn't do them like. severe illness or injury
and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that
bc to live in a society that intentionally obscures and hides facts about a completely optional and dangerous process does so for a reason, and that reason is based in a very sinister ideology that does not value bodily autonomy or informed consent
the number of people who are pregnant and don't know about what induced labour entails and what post partum bleeding is horrifies me
Here is a story about the depths to which pregnant people are seen as a vessel for a baby, and the importance of finding prenatal care that assumes you are a human and not a baby holder:
When I was pregnant I was in a million forums for pregnant people because (cough adhd hyperfixation) and I had something called SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) (not Sensory Processing Disorder though I also have that) which is where your pubic bones separate early (more or less) because they get all loosey goosey as your body gets ready to crank that baby out.
Except my pubic bone got confused and got misaligned at like 3 months pregnant. I could barely walk. I couldn't roll over in bed. Doing something that required me to shift my weight from one foot to another like opening a door knob was like an excruciatingly painful knife being stabbed into my pubic bone, I can't express how intense and blinding it was.
So I am in one million baby forums like "am I dying what is happening why is there a knife in my pubic bone" and all these people are like "I have that too! my doctor says it's normal and not to worry because it doesn't hurt the baby. I just deal with it by laying in bed for months in excruciating pain and think about how lucky I am to be having a little miracle growing in my body."
So lol nope. I went to my midwife and they are like, "Oh squeeze a can between your knees look up a physical therapy youtube on SPD" and I did that can-squeeze thing and it CURED THE PROBLEM in ONE DAY. I had been SUFFERING, y'all, it felt miraculous.
And I was so full of rage (flames, flames on the side of my face) that people are being told "Oh, it's NORMAL just deal with it" "It doesn't hurt the baby." Like, look, yes it's NORMAL but it's 100% treatable!!! SPD (again, not Sensory processing disorder) affects 1 in 5 pregnant people.
I was lucky to have amazing midwives (need a gender neutral term for that profession, but they see pregnant men and women)(side note highly recommend midwives if you are gender nonconfirming/a man/etc) and I have DOZENS of examples of shit like this.
(Another example is post partum friends being like "oh I am peeing my pants 900x day after giving birth" and my doctor says it's NORMAL so I just dealt with it for decades. My midwives were like "Oh that's normal and also physical therapy cures that in like 2 sessions")
When my sister was looking to get pregnant she was given the best advice. She was told that being pregnant is an experience akin to being in a moderate sized car crash, in terms of risk and lasting injury.
Some people in moderate car crashes are very lucky, and walk away with zero injury. Some are very unlucky, and die. But most people fall into the third category, where they'll be injured at the time, then heal, and then for the rest of their life they have some minor and liveable complication from the injury. Like a knee that lets you know when the rain is coming, or a back that doesn't like seats without lumbar support, or a shoulder that never quite gets its full range of motion back.
The vast majority of people survive and thrive, like. But their body is never the same again. And people should know that when they make the choice of whether to put their body through that or not
my mom had a complication postpartum that caused pain and swelling in her left leg. at the time she was told it was "milk leg" and that it was normal and she'd be fine, but it never went away or got better. she finally found a doctor recently who was willing to do some tests and found out it's a condition called "May-Thurner syndrome" and had surgery to fix it
she's been suffering with this since she gave birth to me. I'm 38 years old. she had that surgery last week.
there needs to be more dialogue about the things your body goes through during pregnancy. "that's normal" or "everyone goes through that" need to stop being used to shut down conversations about the horrific, permanent damage that can be done to bodies during pregnancy and childbirth. just because it's "normal" doesn't mean it needs to be endured
I know this is not pertinent to the post but midwife is probably not gendered in the way you think. (The post gets this right btw but I see a lot of people getting it backwards) The “wife” in midwife (with the woman in OE) refers to the person giving birth, not the Obstetrician.
Granted, it still needs to be updated because not just women give birth.
Here is an etymologically equivalent but gender neutral term I just made:
- pregger helper
Hey also: babies are not medicine, or unconditional love playthings. Having a baby won't save your relationship, or fix the problems in your life if you haven't done the work to get yourself in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally, already. People don't ask to be born, and having to grow up with parents that transfer their problems onto their children just perpetuates the cycles of abuse and life-long issues. Given you're not likely to get clear, concise, unbiased healthcare anyway, as seen above, and it will be continually impressed upon you that it is your duty to have children, make sure you're not succumbing to social pressures, or wanting to be a parent for the wrong reasons.
Genuinely, I think a large part of why so many people are unwilling to talk about risks, complications, pain and injury around birth, pregnancy and lactation is because of how deeply ingrained the (primarily but not exclusively) religious idea that "a woman's body is designed to have children" is. Because if you actually sat down and looked, clear-eyed, at all the many ways in which even a healthy pregnancy can negatively impact the body, it would be that much harder to believe that design factors in at all, unless we're willing to argue that the designer was shit at their job. But if you're sold the idea that pregnancy is some divinely ordained and/or ultimate expression of Feminine Life Purpose, and then you have a bad experience, you're much more likely to blame yourself, or to think there's something wrong with you, or to suffer in silence because nobody ever told you this could happen so there must not be any easy solutions, and that makes me so fucking mad I could spit.
something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum
recollections
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
random question:
what was your first exposure to prev and what made you decide to follow them?
In a case of obligate cross-species cloning, female ants of Messor ibericus need to clone males of Messor structor to obtain sperm for produ
Living organisms are assumed to produce same-species offspring. Here, we report a shift from this norm in Messor ibericus, an ant that lays individuals from two distinct species. In this life cycle, females must clone males of another species because they require their sperm to produce the worker caste. As a result, males from the same mother exhibit distinct genomes and morphologies, as they belong to species that diverged over 5 million years ago. The evolutionary history of this system appears as sexual parasitism that evolved into a natural case of cross-species cloning, resulting in the maintenance of a male-only lineage cloned through distinct species’ ova. We term females exhibiting this reproductive mode as xenoparous, meaning they give birth to other species as part of their life cycle.
may I add into the fray:
Little fire ants (Wasmannia) doing something similar where the males and females are different species and there is so much sexual conflict that The females have evolved to make reproductive clone babies. The males have evolved to wipe the female dna from eggs and make reproductive clone babies. Basically, the male and female reproductive lines are operating in an entirely different evolutionary pool than the sterile workers, who are still made by mixing genes from both sexes.
An extreme case of sexual conflict has been unearthed in the little fire ant Wasmannia auropunctata. Queens produce sterile workers by sexua
And then we have a harvester ant with Genetics that are functioning as if they have at least 3 different sexes, divided amongst colonies.
Basically, we have two variants of ants and a queen needs needs to mate with the same variant as herself to produce queens and the opposite variant to produce workers. So a queen needs to have mated with both if she wants to have a healthy colony and be able to pass on her genes to future queens. And all types of colonies need to be present in a population to keep it stable.
Functionally, it can be argued to be more like FOUR operational sexes. IT IS VERY NEAT.
While making the recent BBC Radio 4 series, Sexual Nature: A Brief Natural History of Sex , I came across some research on North Ameri
Actually also also I feel like it's worth how ants (and bees and wasps) normally do genetics because it's also interesting
You know how humans and most sexually reproducing animals get half their genes from one parent and half from the other, resulting in two every gene? This is called diploid. (Diplo=2). The eggs and sperm have a half set of genes (one of each) and are called haploid.
But Ants-Bees-Wasps use a haplo-diploid system.
The females (queens and sterile workers) have two of every gene, 1 from each parent, and are diploid. But the males are born from underutilized eggs. They have 1 of every gene from their mom only, and are haploid.
This results in some complicated math about what percentage of genes each parent gets to pass on, but the net result is that females are more related to their own sisters (75%) than to their own offspring (50%). And thus, it is evolutionarily beneficial to remain in a large social group and raise sister-queens rather than go off and have your own daughters.
Also if you run out of sperm for some reason you can just start spamming out males
Bugs really can just do whatever
Portraits by Lebanese photographer Hashem el Madani (1950s-70s)