#1 Wither fan

rp blog for alex from what if steve talked in minecraft

[alex-the-all-powerful]

hi! welcome to my blog!

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I'm Alex (yes that Alex. no pictures please haha) pronouns she/her

I defeat monsters for a living (I do it for free but people are just so nice). and famously defeated Hero, as well as pretty much any other great evil that popped up in the last few years.

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feel free to contact me with whatever you need defeated, or just say hi.

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what I will do:

-defeat genuine threats

-stop large fires

-assassinate tyrannical rulers

what I will NOT do:

-give you therapy

-kill random people who happen to look kind of weird

-kill random people who happen to act kind of weird

-kill people who don't pose a threat to any innocent people

-navigate complex political drama

-get your cat out of a tree

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dni (IN CHARACTER NOT REAL): haters, cult leaders, wither haters, people named Steve, the person who took a bite out of my shoulder, the person who made fun of my hairstyle on october 3rd 11 years ago, other monster hunters, people who ship the ender dragon and the creaking, minors, people over 80, people who hate old people, person who told me that holding grudges in unhealthy when I was 15, stupid people, anyone who has killed more monsters than me, and other basic dni criteria

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out of character:

all ooc stuff will be in bold (unless I forget)

blog run by @randomnerd737, any pronouns

posts probably won't be super in character but I'll try

this blog is specifically roleplaying Alex from press start to laugh's series "what if steve talked in minecraft". check it out its good and the fandom is criminally small.

fuck ICE, fuck pedophiles, fuck terfs.

trans, aro, nonbinary, and intersex people are queer and valid.

[lavaisyum]

whk would taste the best unseasoned and who would taste the best seasoned

Hmmmmm Alex:3 and steve! He tastes good but would be better if I could season him:]

[alex-the-all-powerful]

...I don't know whether or not to be flattered by this

[lavaisyum]

Can you help me season Steve?:D

[alex-the-all-powerful]

only if you promise to not eat me

[lavaisyum]

I PROMISEEEEEEE

[alex-the-all-powerful]

hmmmm okay! I'll also bring my sword to cut him up

[lavaisyum]

whk would taste the best unseasoned and who would taste the best seasoned

Hmmmmm Alex:3 and steve! He tastes good but would be better if I could season him:]

[alex-the-all-powerful]

...I don't know whether or not to be flattered by this

[lavaisyum]

Can you help me season Steve?:D

[alex-the-all-powerful]

only if you promise to not eat me

[lavaisyum]

whk would taste the best unseasoned and who would taste the best seasoned

Hmmmmm Alex:3 and steve! He tastes good but would be better if I could season him:]

[alex-the-all-powerful]

...I don't know whether or not to be flattered by this

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

I'm a dad now... my kids hate me! BUT IM A DAD! IM FINE! IM FINE!

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

Anyone- anyone got any kid names? I can't think. On account of my face being lightly eaten.

[companionoffatherlyproportions]

[reconnecting to terminal]

Congratulations!

May I suggest Johnson Jr's, or Simon, Riley, Michael, Greggs, Dudestone, Flinn, Samuel, Payden, Jacob, Hayden, Daven, Dave, Dave the magical cheese wizard, Gerald, Harold, Sara, Larry Jr.

. . .

May I hold one?

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

How... how did you know how many I have?

But sure you can hold one of them. He's a little wriggly... I guess space octopus are like normal octopus in that way...

Here, you can hold Dave.. Finally, there are people on the crew with first names I actually know!

[companionoffatherlyproportions]

[A cloaked figure in cyan robes suddenly appears beside Johnson, points to the camera above them in reply, and then scoops up the wiggling baby Dave in their white robotic arms guilded with odd gold sigils]

Hello my little grandson Dave :-)

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

AH! OH oh okay... this is my life... yup. At least your not fleshy. They like to eat that.

I am so covered in bites...

Anyway! Simon and Riley are the two that are always climbing on each other- yeah those purplish ones there- Riley is the one that's got the magenta spots.

Michael, Hayden and Sara are the teal ones- Sara has a lot of green banding on her, Hayden has like freckles? Their brown. Michael is just green.

Payden is that red to lime ombre one that's uh, on your foot... I'll get him- they are surprisingly not that slimy.

Flinn and Jacob are the grey and pink ones. Flinn is the grey one with pink spots. Jacob is the one who reversed that. Or maybe that's reversed.

Samuel! He's the biggest one- he's very aggressively yellow. He's very chill, though, I think.

Dudestone is the one that looks like a candy cane.

Harold is that lime green one that's kinda metallic shiny- reminds me of a bug.

Larry Jr is that really pale grey one who's staring onto the lamp... I uh.. I don't know why he's doing that... but I guess you've seen he riots if I turn it off.

Greggs and Gerald are both gold. There's not really any difference except size, Gerald is small, and Greggs keeps wearing him like a hat. I think that's just destiny now.

Daven is that one on the ceiling, he's uh- I don't know if he's blue and black or white and gold... and I'm not going to question it.

Dave is ironically white and gold... huh I picked that one well-

And Dave, the magical cheese wizard, is the brownish one that sat on top of my dice jail... I will have to teach him how funny that is one day.

Uh, kids, meet your grand- oh god, I didn't ask your pronouns... Grandparent that works. Do you want to be their grandparent?

[companionoffatherlyproportions]

(He/They/It are Vega's pronouns /OOC)

[Gently rubs Dave's head]

Grandfather I believe would be the correct term given my title with the Seraphim, and Of course, I would be honored to be their grandparent. They're all beautiful

Oh speaking of, I know of another person of similar parental status of your own, Doomgod I believe you called him as well, though there's none if any left . . . Believe he'd have some good advice if you're ever in need of some

I wish you well in your journey within fatherhood

[alex-the-all-powerful]

I had a grandfather once...

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

I'm- sorry for your loss? Also- Hi! How are you?

[alex-the-all-powerful]

hiiiii! I would say I'm doing great but I am currently being held hostage. but its fine I'm strong I can get out of here. probably. maybe. hopefully

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

I'm a dad now... my kids hate me! BUT IM A DAD! IM FINE! IM FINE!

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

Anyone- anyone got any kid names? I can't think. On account of my face being lightly eaten.

[companionoffatherlyproportions]

[reconnecting to terminal]

Congratulations!

May I suggest Johnson Jr's, or Simon, Riley, Michael, Greggs, Dudestone, Flinn, Samuel, Payden, Jacob, Hayden, Daven, Dave, Dave the magical cheese wizard, Gerald, Harold, Sara, Larry Jr.

. . .

May I hold one?

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

How... how did you know how many I have?

But sure you can hold one of them. He's a little wriggly... I guess space octopus are like normal octopus in that way...

Here, you can hold Dave.. Finally, there are people on the crew with first names I actually know!

[companionoffatherlyproportions]

[A cloaked figure in cyan robes suddenly appears beside Johnson, points to the camera above them in reply, and then scoops up the wiggling baby Dave in their white robotic arms guilded with odd gold sigils]

Hello my little grandson Dave :-)

[mybrainisfinethankyou]

AH! OH oh okay... this is my life... yup. At least your not fleshy. They like to eat that.

I am so covered in bites...

Anyway! Simon and Riley are the two that are always climbing on each other- yeah those purplish ones there- Riley is the one that's got the magenta spots.

Michael, Hayden and Sara are the teal ones- Sara has a lot of green banding on her, Hayden has like freckles? Their brown. Michael is just green.

Payden is that red to lime ombre one that's uh, on your foot... I'll get him- they are surprisingly not that slimy.

Flinn and Jacob are the grey and pink ones. Flinn is the grey one with pink spots. Jacob is the one who reversed that. Or maybe that's reversed.

Samuel! He's the biggest one- he's very aggressively yellow. He's very chill, though, I think.

Dudestone is the one that looks like a candy cane.

Harold is that lime green one that's kinda metallic shiny- reminds me of a bug.

Larry Jr is that really pale grey one who's staring onto the lamp... I uh.. I don't know why he's doing that... but I guess you've seen he riots if I turn it off.

Greggs and Gerald are both gold. There's not really any difference except size, Gerald is small, and Greggs keeps wearing him like a hat. I think that's just destiny now.

Daven is that one on the ceiling, he's uh- I don't know if he's blue and black or white and gold... and I'm not going to question it.

Dave is ironically white and gold... huh I picked that one well-

And Dave, the magical cheese wizard, is the brownish one that sat on top of my dice jail... I will have to teach him how funny that is one day.

Uh, kids, meet your grand- oh god, I didn't ask your pronouns... Grandparent that works. Do you want to be their grandparent?

[companionoffatherlyproportions]

(He/They/It are Vega's pronouns /OOC)

[Gently rubs Dave's head]

Grandfather I believe would be the correct term given my title with the Seraphim, and Of course, I would be honored to be their grandparent. They're all beautiful

Oh speaking of, I know of another person of similar parental status of your own, Doomgod I believe you called him as well, though there's none if any left . . . Believe he'd have some good advice if you're ever in need of some

I wish you well in your journey within fatherhood

[alex-the-all-powerful]

I had a grandfather once...

[lavaisyum]

Favourite person to bite other than Steve?

Alex! :3 though I hope to see the bacon men again..

[alex-the-all-powerful]

I hate you so much

[alex-the-all-powerful]

Oh My God Is It Alex From The Hit Video Game Minecraft

Wha-

Uhhhhhhh hi… sorry for him. Who are you?

-@fishboypstl

excuse me? where are you even from where you don't know about me. I'm Alex, famous monster hunter, slayer of Hero! also what is a "video game minecraft"

[alex-the-all-powerful]

@ask-herobrine-unofficial and @steve-mincraft-offical observe for there's another one

hi

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Help.. me... p-please...

[steve-mincraft-offical]

nope :p

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

AAAA-

[steve-mincraft-offical]

TO BAD

[alex-the-all-powerful]

what is happening

[steve-mincraft-offical]

HEROSTEVE!!

[alex-the-all-powerful]

yknow I'm not even gonna worry about it. hope you both die :)

[alex-the-all-powerful]

@ask-herobrine-unofficial and @steve-mincraft-offical observe for there's another one

hi

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Help.. me... p-please...

[steve-mincraft-offical]

nope :p

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

AAAA-

[steve-mincraft-offical]

TO BAD

[alex-the-all-powerful]

what is happening

[alex-the-all-powerful]

@ask-herobrine-unofficial and @steve-mincraft-offical observe for there's another one

hi

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Help.. me... p-please...

[alex-the-all-powerful]

haha no

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Please! I've been a victim of their boredem for a year now..

[alex-the-all-powerful]

good!

[alex-the-all-powerful]

@ask-herobrine-unofficial and @steve-mincraft-offical observe for there's another one

hi

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Help.. me... p-please...

[alex-the-all-powerful]

haha no

[alex-the-all-powerful]

HIIII!! MY NAME IS RON :D i think i know you !! :0 ?

AAAHH! GO AWAY!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awwa but whyyyy ?? :((

[alex-the-all-powerful]

BARBARA GET OVER HERE I NEED A MEAT SHIELD! not that I'm scared or anything!

(@supersillyperson you can join if you want or just let her suffer)

[ronwistimpstl]

But i just want to play >:<

[alex-the-all-powerful]

GO PLAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awww okayyyy :(

[alex-the-all-powerful]

oh thank doomgod...

(@ask-herobrine-unofficial is the blog) (also hi herobrine we were talking about you)

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Whos bullying the iron block stack? oh is you.

[alex-the-all-powerful]

come get your stupid son! and then fuck off!

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Hes not my son. He is my MINION. and last I checked you was working with that worthless meat sack of a mortal.

[ronwistimpstl]

Can i call you dad thoooo ? :33

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

..Just.. kill the ginger girl.

[ronwistimpstl]

Okay !! Hehe Come here ginger !! :D

[alex-the-all-powerful]

no! I am walking away now because I am better! not running away! not a coward! AAAHH!!!

[alex-the-all-powerful]

@ask-herobrine-unofficial and @steve-mincraft-offical observe for there's another one

hi

[alex-the-all-powerful]

HIIII!! MY NAME IS RON :D i think i know you !! :0 ?

AAAHH! GO AWAY!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awwa but whyyyy ?? :((

[alex-the-all-powerful]

BARBARA GET OVER HERE I NEED A MEAT SHIELD! not that I'm scared or anything!

(@supersillyperson you can join if you want or just let her suffer)

[ronwistimpstl]

But i just want to play >:<

[alex-the-all-powerful]

GO PLAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awww okayyyy :(

[alex-the-all-powerful]

oh thank doomgod...

(@ask-herobrine-unofficial is the blog) (also hi herobrine we were talking about you)

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Whos bullying the iron block stack? oh is you.

[alex-the-all-powerful]

come get your stupid son! and then fuck off!

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Hes not my son. He is my MINION. and last I checked you was working with that worthless meat sack of a mortal.

[ronwistimpstl]

Can i call you dad thoooo ? :33

[alex-the-all-powerful]

its less "working with" and more making him do stuff I don't feel like doing myself

[alex-the-all-powerful]

HIIII!! MY NAME IS RON :D i think i know you !! :0 ?

AAAHH! GO AWAY!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awwa but whyyyy ?? :((

[alex-the-all-powerful]

BARBARA GET OVER HERE I NEED A MEAT SHIELD! not that I'm scared or anything!

(@supersillyperson you can join if you want or just let her suffer)

[ronwistimpstl]

But i just want to play >:<

[alex-the-all-powerful]

GO PLAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awww okayyyy :(

[alex-the-all-powerful]

oh thank doomgod...

(@ask-herobrine-unofficial is the blog) (also hi herobrine we were talking about you)

[ronwistimpstl]

Just kidding!! But im gonna tell my dad if u dont wanna play with me >:|

[alex-the-all-powerful]

okay you go do that! go tell him! away from me!!!

[ronwistimpstl]

Okay !! :D

[alex-the-all-powerful]

... are you gonna. go do that

[ronwistimpstl]

Yep!

[alex-the-all-powerful]

. y'know I'm just gonna walk away. very fast. not running away though bc I'm not scared I'M NOT SCARED OKAY!

[alex-the-all-powerful]

HIIII!! MY NAME IS RON :D i think i know you !! :0 ?

AAAHH! GO AWAY!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awwa but whyyyy ?? :((

[alex-the-all-powerful]

BARBARA GET OVER HERE I NEED A MEAT SHIELD! not that I'm scared or anything!

(@supersillyperson you can join if you want or just let her suffer)

[ronwistimpstl]

But i just want to play >:<

[alex-the-all-powerful]

GO PLAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

[ronwistimpstl]

Awww okayyyy :(

[alex-the-all-powerful]

oh thank doomgod...

(@ask-herobrine-unofficial is the blog) (also hi herobrine we were talking about you)

[ask-herobrine-unofficial]

Whos bullying the iron block stack? oh is you.

[alex-the-all-powerful]

come get your stupid son! and then fuck off!