alexa love

[wtfpheebs-blog]

“I may or may not… have looked like you? It’s been a little while, so it’s a little blurry, but I’m pretty sure I had your face?” She admitted, slumped over and peaking up from under her eyelashes at the other girl. “Hopefully that doesn’t sound too creepy. You do have a very dream worthy face! And I was very happy to have it in my dream. Promise.” She offered a small smile after that, though the mention of teeth falling out had it disappearing again. “Ew,” she said lamely, crinkling her nose up. “Though, I mean, dentures seem pretty cool to have! And you gotta get rid of all your real teeth for that… right?” Phoebe shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know. I try not to look too deep into stuff, you know? I get a headache.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

Alexa grinned widely at Phoebe’s admittance, much more flattered than anything else. “It doesn’t sound creepy, I’m honored. I think more people should dream of having my face. I do it all the time” she joked with a loud laugh. “Yeah, I guess. Old people seem happy enough with them. I wonder if you can get customized ones with like your name on or multicolored ones, that’d be so cool! No, that might look a little weird actually. It’d be cool but I’m sure the novelty would wear off pretty quickly” Changing her opinion so quickly and mid-sentence was quite a common occurrence for Alexa considering that she rarely thought her ideas through. “Yes that makes sense. I think I’m much too curious for my own good sometimes”

[zoeyspellman]

“It doesn’t have to be either. It could be tranquil or peaceful or serine or any combination of the three. There are plenty of things that can be done without talking. I wouldn’t call it suffering,” Zoey added on quietly, muttering into her sandwich. But she didn’t make any attempts to end the conversation so her point probably fell rather flat. “It really depends on the situation.” Zoey was happy to leave it there, not really wanting to get into some kind of lengthy argument. Her recent dream made her feel more awkward and embarrassed rather than argumentative. “I wouldn’t know about everyone. I only speak for myself and what I’ve seen… and from what I’ve seen everyone starts with either good fortune or bad and then they make their way from there. But in most cases people with shit jobs only have themselves to blame.” The question gave her a pause as she’d never really thought about it before, not in a specific sense. As far as jobs were concerned Zoey had only had one real goal. “Something stable. Stable with a living wage. That’s all.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“That’s why I said nine times out of ten. I just personally haven’t had much experience with the good kind of silence” Alexa shrugged. She found it quite amusing how much the two’s opinions seemed to differ from each other when it came to just about everything they had talked about and yet she still found Zoey to be oddly endearing. “Why do you say that?” she asked, equally confused and curious about the statement. “Sometimes people don’t have a choice other than to stay in a bad job” she suggested, not a hint of confrontation in her tone. “Every case is different, of course but there are some people who just end up trapped in a life they didn’t exactly want” Listening to Zoey’s answer over her dream job, Alexa couldn’t help but smile. She wasn’t laughing at Zoey, she just found it funny how she hadn't seen an answer like that coming. “That’s definitely the most realistic answer I’ve ever had to that question. I usually ask people that on a first date and I’ve never had that one before”

[rose-flint-blog]

Uhhh

[rose-flint-blog]

“……right” Jack said awkwardly not really knowing if he’s ever felt that.

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“Is that all you have to say? You’re not going to praise me for my wisdom and great advice?”

[zoeyspellman]

“Sitting in silence isn’t an option?” Zoey asked, though she clearly already knew the answer so it was more rhetorical than anything. Still not sure why this subject had even come up, Zoey shrugged. “I wouldn’t call writing a job either. A job is where you get up in the morning and go to a place and deal with an asshole of a boss for a shitty paycheck. I don’t particularly like lumping together professions that are so vastly different together because they are in no way the same thing. Call it what you will, but it’s not the same thing as having a job. Doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile or that it’s stupid, just that I don’t consider it in any way the same thing. When it comes down to it, making money is making money and I’ve seen worse ways of doing it. I’ve experienced worse ways. But they don’t live in the same shithole life as the rest of us, that’s the distinction.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“God, no. Silence is the worst” Alexa answered, a dramatic look of disgust on her face. “Silence is always either awkward or sad and surely no one wants to suffer that” she continued, shaking her head as she spoke. “I mean, I suppose silence isn’t always terrible, I just mean like generally. Nine times out of ten, it definitely is” Happy with her argument, she picked up the menu that lay on the table and scanned her eyes over the choices. “Oh. I see what you mean” Alexa continued to stare at the menu while she thought about how she might respond to Zoey’s words, a rare occurrence for her to be thinking before she spoke but she was a little stumped in all honesty. “I guess you’re right. Some of us are lucky enough to make money in a way that isn’t considered a job” Looking up from the menu as she dropped her hint, Alexa wasn’t exactly sure why she felt the need to go a roundabout way of telling Zoey her job. It wasn’t like she was embarrassed by it at all, she was more just embarrassed that she asked the question in the first place. “Doesn’t everyone have a shitty job at some point in their life? Or, like, maybe not everyone but a lot of people. Most people” she corrected herself, unsure of where she was going with that sentence. “What would be your perfect job?” she asked, somewhat randomly, the question suddenly just popping into her brain. “Or perfect way of making money, should I say”

[rose-flint-blog]

Uhhh

[rose-flint-blog]

“I would but i need the extra money and the experience” jack replies unhappily.

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“There are always a million reasons not to do something but I happen to think that happiness always comes first”

[wtfpheebs-blog]

“That sounds like something that happened to me. It’s happened, like, three times, actually,” Phoebe admitted, not all that bothered by the girl’s sudden appearance and happily falling into conversation. “Except my dreams aren’t really disturbing. And - there was one where I kind of looked like-” She cut herself off, shaking her head. “They’re normal, I think. Or… like everyone around here seems to have them, if that makes you feel any better!” Phoebe’s brow furrowed at the dream description. “Your teeth falling out? What kinda dream is that?” Cringing at the idea, she shook her head. “That sounds totally fake, then. How could you even determine the meaning of dreams? Maybe they’re just a random collection of stuff. Brains are super weird.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

"They do?” she asked, breathing an over dramatic sigh of relief. “It does make me feel better. Wait, you looked like what?” she asked curiously, not even considering the fact that it was none of her business. “I don’t know! Apparently it’s a really common dream to have which is.. weird. It’s kind of a nightmare really, who wants to go around without any teeth? It might be” she shrugged, still not disregarding the idea of deeper meanings behind dreams. “I just think it’s interesting to consider that they do mean something. Far more interesting than them just being totally random at least. I like to think we’re smarter than that”

[profsethelkins]

“You really don’t… you don’t have to stick around. I’ll be alright and this isn’t your fault,” he told her, feeling slightly guilty. He didn’t want her to feel like she was compelled to drink with him or that she had something to make up to him for. And part of Seth worried that he would accidentally take some of his frustration out on her. If nothing else it was likely he wouldn’t have very nice things to say about Helena tonight. “It’s okay. I get it. Believe me, I do. I just need some time to sor–fuck it, I mostly just need to get drunk. Then I guess tonight is a night of firsts. And there’s nothing better worth celebrating with massive amounts of drinking than the first time you’re dumped, right?” he suggested, much more bitterly than he would have liked, but he wasn’t in the best frame of mind at the moment.

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“I don’t mind, really. I mean, I more than don’t mind, I like spending time with you and it’s not like I have anything better to do anyway but.. it’s up to you. I won’t be offended if you want to call up whoever your usual drinking buddy is instead” she insisted, slowing down her pace a little as she realized they were nearing a bar. She knew she should probably just take the hint and leave him to it but, well, taking hints had never been something she was good at. “The first time you've been dumped?” Alexa asked, the amount of shock written on her face in no way meant offensively. “Of course” she scoffed. “Figures. Well, you’re in luck because you happen to be in the presence of someone who’s been dumped more times than she can count on her fingers so.. you’re pretty much in the presence of a master of being dumped... wow that’s depressing” she laughed, hoping that her attempts to keep things lighthearted wouldn’t fail too badly. 

[zoeyspellman]

Just shrugging, Zoey returned her focus to her lunch, taking a bite of her sandwich as she considered what Alexa had to say and–more importantly–if it was worth giving a reply. “Not much you can do about it though so not really worth complaining, is it?” was what Zoey settled on, as always her words coming across ruder than she intended. Listening to the girl, Zoey finally turned back with a raised eyebrow, wondering where this question had come from but ultimately shrugging it off and not caring that much about the why. “It’s not really a job. I don’t think I’d call it that,” she replied finally, after musing over it for a moment. “Honestly it’s pretty ridiculous but if they’re making money doing it, then whatever. Not really my place to make the decision on what they can or can’t do nor do I care enough.” With a nod, Zoey settled on that as a response, sounding more judgemental than she was, perhaps. Ultimately she had just learned not to judge people on how they chose to make money.

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“I guess not but complaining about trivial things is another one of my specialties. I’ve got to find something to talk about when I run out of topics, don’t I?” she laughed as thought she was joking when, in reality, she wasn’t joking at all. Realizing she was looking slightly more nervous than she should have as she waited for Zoey’s response to her question, Alexa looked down at the table to shield her expression from view. Her head quickly shot up as Zoey stated her profession was ‘not a job’, unsure of whether she was offended or not by the viewpoint. She had often had the discussion with herself over whether she considered what she did to be a job or not, especially since it had initially started out as a hobby but there was something about someone else saying it that made it borderline offensive. “You think?” she looked down once more, an unfamiliar lack of confidence in her voice. “You don’t think it’s innovative and creative to take something previously considered as a pastime and turn it into a career? I mean, blogging isn’t totally miles away from being a writer anyway... some might say” Alexa glanced up, doing her best to mask any defensiveness her features were desperate to show. 

[zoeyspellman]

Zoey felt that she didn’t have much more to say on the matter and just shrugged. It was one of those odd things that people just accepted about Town without really thinking too much about. “They usually are. Disturbing, I mean. And uncomfortable. Thankfully they don’t happen often,” Zoey commented, trying not to think too much about any of the ones she’d had. “I think it’s more interesting that people can make a profit pulling whatever shit they want out of their ass and putting it in a book for suckers.” Her tone made it clear that the comments were in no way pointed or intentionally rude, it sounded more as though she didn’t think her words through before speaking or that she simply didn’t care if she was being offensive or not. “Dreams are dreams, why the fuck would you ever need someone else to interpret them? The only one who can do it accurately is yourself.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

Quietly listening as Zoey spoke, only being quiet for a change due to being lost in her thoughts over her own dream, Alexa simply nodded in response. “Usually I love remembering my dreams but I think I prefer the process of having a different one every night rather than the same one for a week, especially one that feels so real” she confessed, shaking her head as she pushed her thoughts of that dream aside. “I suppose but.. people make a profit in many strange ways these days. I mean, there’s people who make a living on the internet, not as in like in those ways but like bloggers and youtubers and such .. what do you think about that?” she asked curiously, almost sure she hadn’t told Zoey of her profession yet. Realizing she had gone a little off topic, Alexa quickly jumped back onto the topic of dreams. “I just think it’s nice to hear someone else’s opinion sometimes” 

[okangelo-blog]

Raising an eyebrow, he took a deep breath. A large part of him wanted to tell the girl to fuck off, but he found himself catching his tongue when she apologized. He held tightly to the end of the broom, raising an eyebrow at her. “Better jokes? Doesn’t sound too promising,” he retorted. “If you thought that was funny, then I’m not looking forward to hearing anything else. If I wait your table, will you promise not to make anymore jokes?”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

At his intake of breath, Alexa could sense that she might be annoying him already and, while she didn't know him, she was adamant she would change his opinion of her. “Okay” she agreed, though it didn’t take long for her to remember that she didn't back down easily. “Are you sure? I have some really great ones. Besides, who doesn’t love jokes?” she asked, a ridiculous grin on her face. “Do I get to know my waiter’s name?”

[rose-flint-blog]

Uhhh

I hate this damn job

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“You should quit” Alexa suggested, offering up terrible advice to the stranger as she often did. “It’s actually rather liberating to walk out of a job you hate”

[tedtonks-wil]

Sebastian had initially hardly looked up from the newspaper he was scribbling upon as he worked on the daily crossword puzzle, “It doesn’t have ta’ mean yer insecure with yerself in terms a’ self esteem. I don’t think.” He’d paused, “My little sister would say that everything depends upon interpretation and you can be unsure of a recent decision without being insecure with who ya’ are as a person.” Sebastian nodded a bit, picking up his coffee cup to take a sip. 

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“Oh” Alexa responded, a bright smile instantly replacing her concerned expression. “That’s a much better way of looking it!” she praised him, feeling a lot happier about the new perspective. “Your little sister sounds like she knows what she’s talking about, I would have never thought of it like that. I mean, I can’t really pinpoint a decision that I’ve been insecure about lately but that does seem a much more likely option”

[profsethelkins]

“Sometimes not saying anything is the best way to handle things. At least for the moment. Everything in its own time, right?” But Seth hardly seemed convinced by his own words. Then again he was rather listless in general, going through the motions more than actually making any attempt at seeming normal. “Lexi…. you know that most of the time if I had half the chance I’d go on and on about her but right now… right now I don’t want to talk about her. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much… and still sort of wish they’d walk in front of a bus. I just need to… not thank about it. Which means… to the bar.” With a brisk nod, he turned and began walking with her, his steps still slower than normal. “I’m not going to take this out on you. This has nothing to do with you. You didn’t chose her as a sister, I didn’t chose to love her as much as I do… things just happen and we learn to deal… hopefully. Besides more than anything I think I’m mad at myself. And her, of course, but that’s a more complicated thing.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“Right. Whatever you need. I suppose today is as good a day as any to teach myself the art of shutting up. Something that will be a whole lot easier a drink in my mouth” Alexa nodded, intentionally not mentioning the fact that she was actually even more chatty when drunk. Listening without response as Seth spoke, Alexa only found herself feeling more and more sorry for him. Not in the sense that she pitied him but, the girl had had her fair share of heartbreak and, while she might not place any of those at the same level as his, she could empathize. “I know, I’m sorry. That was just a classic case of me not thinking before I speak but I promise it won’t happen again. We can talk about anything and everything other than.. well, other than that” With another nod of her head, Alexa mentally promised herself that that would be the last time she said anything on the topic... for today at least. “Or just not talk at all. Hey, you know this will actually be the first time we’ve ever had a drink together? Not that that’s surprising considering that I was underage for most of the time you’ve known me but that’s somewhat exciting, huh?” she attempted to keep a lighthearted tone though she knew nothing about this day was exciting for either of them. 

[zoeyspellman]

On her lunch break, Zoey first gave a long sigh as she realized she was being spoken to before looking up. Admittedly she was more than a little surprised to see who it was who was speaking, especially in light of the dream she’d had and found herself glancing back down at her meal. “That happens a lot in Town. You get used to it. It’s a weird town thing that we’ve all learned to deal with. And dream journals are shit anyway. They all say something different and vague so they can be as right as possible without telling you anything worth while.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

Keeping her eyes on Zoey even though she wasn’t look at her, Alexa scrunched her nose up sightly at what the other was saying. “That’s.. weird but also kind of exciting. Actually, perhaps not exciting considering that my dream was.. disturbing to say the least” she shuddered dramatically. “I can’t really disagree but I still love them. Whether you believe what they’re saying to be true or not, it’s still interesting to read what people might interpret certain things to mean. Like you could think one thing about it, be sure that’s what it means and then you read another person’s thoughts and suddenly your whole perspective might change. Or dreams could just not mean anything at all, that’s another possibility. I read somewhere that your dreams center on whatever you have been thinking about most that day but that would be kind of strange, and in some cases worrying, if that were true”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

Sitting down next to someone, Alexa didn’t really care to check whether they were a stranger or not before she started speaking. “I had such a weird, and kind of disturbing, reoccurring dream for like a week straight that I ended up buying a dream dictionary to figure out what it meant but, of course, I got completely distracted and ended up reading about dreams where your teeth are falling out. Apparently that means you're insecure but I’ve had that dream before and that’s totally not me” Alexa spoke, a serious look of concern on her face. 

[profsethelkins]

“Honestly… I really don’t think there’s a right thing to say. I don’t want to be told that everything will be okay… because it really won’t. And I don’t need to hear that you’re sorry because… well not to be rude but that really solves nothing. Sometimes not saying anything is better,” he mused quietly, his hands finding their way into his pockets absently as he listened and shrugged his shoulders. “Drinking,” he agreed with a nod of his head before slowly shaking it. “No, no, I get it. You’re not her. Just because I am… well I’m having the feelings I am about her doesn’t mean I’m upset with you.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“Right” she agreed, a lack of conviction behind her words considering that she had always believed talking was the best way to heal but she wouldn’t argue with him. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that I’ve never been very good at not saying anything but I can most definitely make an exception” Attempting a small smile, Alexa knew that was when she should stop talking but for some ridiculous reason, she couldn’t. “When I was younger and my dog died, I had the same problem. I kept talking about it and making stupid jokes about dogs, it was like some sort of word vomit. And Helena was...” she stopped abruptly. Not the right time to be telling that story, Alexa. Saving herself the awkward air of apologizing again, Alexa decided on the route of ignoring everything she had just said as if she had never said it. “To a bar then, I guess?” she asked, starting to walk in the direction of the nearest bar she knew. “I know but... this is going to seem like a ridiculous offer but.. if you need someone to be angry at.. someone who is here, I mean. Or if you need to yell at someone to let your feelings out then you can.. you can yell at me. It might make you feel better” 

[profsethelkins]

“Welcome to the club,” he muttered, reminding her that this was news to both of them, and not good news. Much though he hated it, Seth couldn’t help but feel bitter and even a little petty in light of everything. He wasn’t nearly as mature as people seemed to like to think. “It was just a matter of time, right? That’s what everyone’s always thought and… of course they were right. No…. no I really don’t. And anything I’d have to say right now… you wouldn’t want to hear it. I get it. It’s fine. Drinking sounds like a better suggestion. The stronger the better right now.”

[alexabarnettt-blog]

“Sorry, I keep saying the wrong thing. I don’t know what to say. Not that anything I say matters anyway. And it’s not like there’s anything I could say to make any of his better even if I really wish there was” she rambled at speed, only stopping when she needed to take a breath. Wincing a little as Seth stated that it was only a matter of time, Alexa had to stop herself from arguing back. She wanted to dispute that not everyone had thought that but she knew it wouldn’t help any. If anything, it would only make him feel worse and so she bit her tongue.  “Okay, no talking” she stated with much too much enthusiasm and a nod of her head. “Drinking it is or.. do you want me to leave you alone?” she asked, suddenly realizing that her presence might actually just be an awful reminder of the news he’d just received. “That would be fine too”