South Park: Headcanons Gen Superhero AU
This AU focuses on the adventures of a group of teenage superheroes who are struggling to make a name for themselves in order to gain glory, fans, and money or at least that is the motivation of their leader. Using their powers they will try to bring order to their chaotic world full of monsters, lunatics and Christians.
Super Craig has super strength and incredible stamina. When his powers manifested his parents entered him in many competitions and contests; and Craig always came out the winner. With a single punch he beat all his opponents even if they were much bigger and heavier than him. Over time, finding no one to stand up to him, Craig grew bored. What’s the point of a fight if you finish it with a single punch and doesn’t even cause you any scratch?
One day while he was out for a walk, listless about participating in yet another competition, he was suddenly sucked into a hurricane.
Meeting a person with incredible abilities, capable of causing so much damage without even trying made him feel, after a long time, excited. He wasn’t so invulnerable after all.
Tweek manifested his weather control powers from a very young age. For a long time he believed that he could only make hurricanes and storms. His parents saw it as a blessing because the cold weather encouraged people to drink coffee causing an increase to the profits of the family business. Until one day Tweek created an uncontrollable hurricane that destroyed much of his hometown, so his parents decided to move to a remote place (South Park) and start from scratch again.
With the eternally cold climate of South Park no one would suspect them and they would do very well in business. Though Tweek couldn’t forget the disaster he caused in his hometown, so one day he couldn’t hold back anymore and his negative emotions created a hurricane that absorbed a guy. Miraculously the guy survived with barely a scratch.
Tweek would make his first friend in South Park and discover that his powers are connected to his emotions. Thanks to his friend he would improve his weather control and discover that he can form something more than just storms and hurricanes.
When Cartman’s powers manifested he felt very happy. Although it was obvious that he was not like the others, he was special and the world agreed with him. After reading many comics he decided that he would be a superhero. Those bastards had it all! Fame, glory, money… just for punching a few bad guys in the face. Just imagine all the money he would receive for all the advertising and products with his image, he would be rich!
With that in his mind, he began patrolling the town every afternoon looking for criminals to beat up. It shouldn’t be that hard to find one! After Captain Hindsight’s retirement he was the only South Park superhero left (Mysterion doesn’t count because he doesn’t have any superpowers! ahem) but apparently the villains were hiding from him, for fear of confronting the Coon.
On one of his daily rounds he finally ran into a criminal. Excited to have his first superhero fight, he adopted his battle pose and began to give his heroic speech. The criminal interrupted him when he was about to finish and shot him without warning (rude). He was surprised he tried to dodge it and he made it, or so it seemed. The bullet was on the ground in front of him. A kind of transparent shield had stopped her, a shield that surrounded him.
No, he hadn’t gained a new superpower. A fucking guy was imitating him! Facing to his criminal and wearing a fucking superhero suit. The guy was so incompetent that he allowed the criminal to escape and when he went to confront him he fled, flying!
Completely angry, he followed him until he was out of sight. That guy couldn’t be human, a human couldn’t have such powers. Most likely he was either some horrible lab experiment or an alien. He probably had evil intentions and a Machiavellian plan for world domination.
Faced with this situation he decided to take the most reasonable course of action, he was going to kill him. Not because his powers were more incredible than his, but because he was dangerous! He Endangered Humanity! He had to be killed before he caused any damage.
He started looking for information about that guy. While trying to track him down, he found two other guys with incredible abilities who seemed to know each other.
They seemed to reproduce like cockroaches! You bump into one and then many more come out of hiding. How many more were like him? How many more were stealing his idea ? Did they plan to form a superhero team or something?
A team of superheroes…that’s it!
The Coon decided to form a team of superheroes, with him at the helm of course. That way he could get the other superheroes under his control and stop the flying guy from recruiting them. Together with his team they would eliminate that flying clown and the world would be his.
Gerald and Sheila Broflovski wanted very much to have a child, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t. One day a fragment of an apparent meteorite fell in her garden and Sheila. Believing it was a simple rock that some prankster child had thrown she took it with her hands to discard it. Months later she finally managed to get pregnant. And so Human Kite was born.
Human Kite’s powers first manifested by accident on a school day. He would decide to hide it from his parents to stay out of trouble and because he didn’t think they would believe him. Who would believe that an ordinary child could shoot lightning bolts from his eyes. Human Kite would begin to secretly train to be able to control his powers well and thus not hurt anyone by accident (and prevent his parents from realizing that he had such powers).
After Captain Hindsight’s live retirement from superheroism, Human Kite, tired of injustice and despair, decided to take his place as an anonymous superhero. He patrolled the streets every afternoon and faced many criminals. He would always knock them out and call the police to take them, then he would fly away before they got there. Never had a criminal managed to escape from him…until now.
He was patrolling the city with no news until he noticed out of the corner of his eye a kid in a Halloween costume being held at gun point. He quickly formed a shield to protect him and when the boy turned to see him he began to insult him. He was perplexed, he did not understand what was wrong with that child and when trying to calm him down he got distracted, which the criminal took advantage of to attack him. And by saving the child again he lost sight of the criminal, who managed to escape.
The boy in costume kept yelling and cursing at him, not showing an ounce of gratitude for being saved. Human Kite ignored him, inspected the area and finding no clue as to where the criminal would have gone, he decided to leave the place. He didn’t realize that the boy wasn’t as young as he thought and that he was following him until he disappeared from sight into the air.
-Extras/ ideas for some episodes:
-There would be the classic episode where everyone loses their powers and has to deal with it, Tweek would be the one who would handle the situation much better than the others as he always saw his powers as a curse.
-Everyone would think that Craig can fly, but really he just jumps really high. “Humans can’t fly,” Craig would say.
-In the end Super Craig, Wonder Tweak, Human Kite, and the Coon would form a team that would face many villains. 65% of them are people who Cartman fucked.
-Human Kite would have an identity crisis knowing his origins, is he even human? Are his parents really his parents?
-Tweek can fly, but he doesn’t because he’s afraid of losing focus and falling.
-There would also be the classic episode where everyone exchanges his powers. Craig and Tweak would exchange theirs and know what it’s like to be in each other’s shoes, that would help them understand each other much better. Also, everyone would call out Craig for his earlier comment about “humans can’t fly”. Tweek can and he, having his powers, could too to which he would reply “I’m not flying, I’m controlling air currents to float."
-At the end of the season there would be that episode where they face a villain who manages to defeat them. Half end up in the hospital and the other half don’t want to be heroes anymore, but after some deep talks and seeing that they are the only heroes that South Park has (and that people can’t even save themselves) they would decide to face him again. with the help of other new heroes Call girl, Tupperware, Doctor Timothy, etc.
-The final big boss of the first season would turn out to be Scott Tenorman, who would have operated from the shadows all along helping minor villains get revenge on Cartman.
I started this for @southparkauweek but it took me a long time to finish it, sorry. I wanted to get it out of my head anyway, next time it will be the others guys and the main villains.
Thanks to @benjami-n for reading and correcting my doodles, You have a golden patience. ;)
