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@alexanderward-blog
“This is the worst sandwich in the world. How can people sell this shit?” Thomas asked as he threw the sandwich on the trash next to him, before taking a sip from his water.
“What did that sandwich ever do to you to deserve that kind of treatment?”
“Crap. Sorry. I’ve heard of the show, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.” Her mind pondered at the name of the show, and the possibility of seeing it and the Olsen twins first hand. “Or maybe I have?” Questioning herself, she soon drew her own conclusion. “No. I haven’t.” Following closely beside the male she had just encountered, she couldn’t help but wonder where he was taking her, all of course until he finally admitted as such. “Is that a restaurant then? Sounds good to me. So long as the food is yummy, we’ll be good to go.” Ophelia admitted, her stomach eager to have some food come it’s way as she recalled not actually eating all that much so far today.
“You’ve never seen it! We need to fix that. I think it’s on Netflix, so it wouldn’t be that hard to watch.” He said after she had concluded that she hadn’t seen the show. Alex stuck his hands in his pockets, walking alongside her. “Yep! It’s a restaurant. It’s the best Mexican there is here.” He nodded, pretty convinced of that fact. “I’m Alexander, by the way. But people call me Alex. Less syllables, easier to say.”
Jeremy flushed, very moved by the offer. “You’re officially the best roommate a guy could ever ask for. I hope we go together one day, I really do.” Alex’s statement made Jer’s chest swell a bit, glad to know it wasn’t so childish to enjoy amusement parks or animated films. “Yeah, you’re just right really.” Jeremy smiled while petting Keiko at his side. If he were any other teen he might envy Alex’s ideal height, but such petty things were never held against anyone. “Stranger than me, so yeah that is super strange. It’s a good thing I found you before some normal person did on the street.” The younger snorted as he recalled that day, Alex’s subtle joking not helping matters. “Only if I’m allowed to do it too.”
“I know, I’m the best,” Alex laughed, shrugging it off. Accepting compliments wasn’t really a talent of his, but he tried. He started playing around with the fabric on the top of the couch, nodding at what Jer was saying. “I accept my super strangeness, though. I embrace it. Super strangeness is me, and I am okay with that.” He nodded excessively, looking over at Jeremy. “Oh, my God, I would never live with a normal person. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a dull knife than live with someone normal.” He knew he was exaggerating, but he didn’t care at all. “Of course you’re allowed too. Feel free to add in a few moans here and there, too. To enhance the experience,” he looked over at Jeremy with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face.
“I wish I could go to Disney World.” Jeremy immaturely pouts at the idea. “I think I went to Disneyland once, when I was too young to really appreciated it of course. Maybe I’m too old for that sort of thing now.” It was a real bummer for him and he hoped he’d get another chance to go one day. “Only cause you’re tall yourself, my options are way more open in this case.” Jeremy teased with a snicker, kicking back on the couch with his dog Keiko who’d been curled up on the cushions. “We all were strange! One way or another.. I definitely am still strange.” It wouldn’t be much longer till he couldn’t call himself a teenager anymore, the idea excited him but also put him out a bit. “Oh yeah… his body is unreal.” He grinned. “You’re going to make ‘mm’ sounds throughout the movie, aren’t you?”
“I’ll bring you! To Disney Land or World, whichever. Both are pretty darn amazing, actually. You’re never too old to appreciate Disney!” Alex was sure of it. He would be visiting Disney until the day he died, and he would never grow old of it. “I am quite tall, but I’m not like... tall tall, you know?” He shrugged, not really knowing how to explain it. “I’m average,” he finally found the word he was looking for. “Have you met me? I’m strange. Everybody’s strange. But I’m the strangest of the strange.” Alex laughed, letting his arm drape over the couch as the movie started. “Right? It’s like he was sculpted by the gods or something... Just, completely unreal.” He shook his head as if he was in disbelief of just how perfect he was. “Yup! The whole time. Even when he’s not on screen.”
“Dudette.” Ophelia scoffed mischeviously before following the male anyway. If he was going to introduce her to decent food, she was hardly going to put up too much of a fight. “So, where are we going?”
“I was trying to quote Full House. Like when the Olsen twins played that little girl who always said ‘you got it, dude’? Maybe I just had a boring childhood...” He pursed his lips and shrugged, walking in the general direction of the place he wanted to go. “We are going to this place called La Cuidad. Pretty cool place, actually. You’ll like it!”
“Considering Taco Bell is processed and usually frozen crap re-heated, how about we go for the good Mexican option?”
“You got it, dude. Follow me this way!”
“I feel so happy for those people who get these amazing things handed to them because they do deserve them, but at the same time, I’m going, where’s mine? I would be so excited if she shows up at your house. They do work! I wasn’t quite sure because they sounded so similar.”
“Right! That’s why I need to start being selfless. My roommate’s one of those people. He does so much and doesn’t expect stuff in return. I should write a letter to Ellen so he can get, like, a free a car or something.”
“The cold weather here is never too bad, it’s not like in New York. I don’t know about the rest but even when it’s cold I’m in the mood for ice cream, plus most of the time here is sunny, so I think it would be a good investment.”
“New York sounds like torture. Especially in the winter. Like, snow! Who wants to deal with that? Definitely not me. California’s pretty good for that - being sunny. And for having attractive people, but that’s just a completely different topic.”
“I never had a dog..my dad- my dad- my dad..he hated them. Yup..for epilepsy so if I’m about to have a seizure he can warn me…Sure, his name is gonna be Tangerine. “
“How can you hate dogs! That’s like hating... happiness! Honestly. Tangerine? That’s so adorable, oh my God. Are you hoping for any breed of dog in particular, or are you just gonna pick whichever one speaks to you the most? Not literally, of course. But in a ‘the wand chooses the wizard, Harry’ kind of way.”
“So you have a lot of lightbulb moments, then?” Evie said with a laugh. “I’ll think I’ve come up with a sudden solution to a problem, but then in putting the idea into action something goes terribly wrong…and then I’m back to the drawing board. My best ideas come after I let them ruminate for a while.” An eyebrow arched. “Selfie sticks? Are those…I mean I haven’t been in the US for a year….are those an actual thing? Where the heck do people put their selfie sticks when they aren’t using them?”
“Yes! Exactly that. I even visualize a lightbulb,” he laughed along with her. “That’s how everything works, though - trial and error. It’s how I operate my life. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. You know that whole fall down seven times stand up eight? Now I’m going on a different topic, but either way...” He shook his head, trying to get back on topic. “Yes, selfie sticks are a thing! They extend! So you can make it small and compact for travelling in your backpack and then spring it out when needed. Like an umbrella but for selfies.”
“You say that now and then someday there will be a glitch in the system and they will have intelligence enough to surpass us. Machines freak me the fuck out, that’s why I don’t own any smart technology and will never rely on robots if the day comes – I don’t want to take the chances. Yes, of course you look like a nice guy, someone who would knock people over with just the puppy look, I think it’s pretty baddass to be nice. – I couldn’t possibly agree with you more, lottery is for those who are willing to bet on uncertainty, and robbing banks is for ninjas. Hey, I will have non of that under my watch, I’ll have you know that I’m clumsy as hell and my body manages to find balance under the water and it’s pretty nice, you’re going to love it, but please don’t freak out while you try to breath with the cylinder, because you can’t really breath through your nose, but we’ll cover that in the class. You can call me, actually, but during commercial hours, I’ll probably end up forgetting if we do things now. Oh, my, God, my biggest OCD is sorting out skittles and M&M’s by color before eating them. No shit!”
“Like in that robot movie with Will Smith! I, Robot! That movie fucked me up, man... I work around smart technology day and night, so I mean, if it happens I’ll be the first to know, and I’ll definitely call you to let you know to get your ass out of here. -- But, hey, I’m glad you think I look nice, because I do try my best to give off that aura. Make people want to be around me, you know? -- I’m kind of excited if I get to go out diving with you. I haven’t been in the water in so long - I’m just so busy with work and stuff that I never get the chance to. Always wanted to try surfing, too, but I’m too lazy and I procrastinate. But I will definitely give you a call tomorrow during commercial hours! Or I might even stop by on my break to say hey. And I’ll bring the Skittles sorter.”
“Those sound like boring ones. Oh you know me, I like to keep things lively here. So I’ve had my fair share. But I don’t wish to share any of them.”
“Oh, come on, Rach. At least share one? You can be my favourite cousin ever. Even if you’re the only one who’s in my life right now.”
That earned a laugh from the teen and he tried to resist the temptation to pick up the sensitive materials on the counter to fiddle with. His jaw fell slightly at the idea, “Sky diving, I’ve always wanted to go! And if you’re buying there would be no questions asked.” He was a fan of extreme sports and adventure, he only wished he’d had the chance to do more of both. Jeremy flushed as he grinned, not offended in the least. “Short, of all things.” It was Franco’s gumline that once put Berne off but that loud personality was too adorable to resist. “Some people really hate Zac, I’m glad you’re not one of them. The new movie genre’s he’s been in are great.” Berne nodded, taken by Alex’s point. “That’s awesome. Ok, I’ll go grab it.” He circles around to pick through their humble dvd collection, inserting it into the PS3 after he found the disk.
“I wasn’t serious about the skydiving. I chicken out of going on the Tower of Terror at Disney World, so I could never skydive.” Alex let out an exaggerated shudder at the thought of skydiving as he plopped down on the couch. “Yes, he’s short. I need me a tall man,” he smirked, leaning his head back. “I miss his High School Musical days - I think that’s when I started crushing on him. But then there was Sharpay’s brother who was, like, basically openly gay and I was like ‘wow, make out with me’ and yeah... I was a strange teenager.” He shook his head, watching Jeremy walk around to grab the DVD. Once he was done, he patted the spot on the couch next to him when a thought crossed his mind and he darted back to the kitchen table to search for his phone in case the delivery people called. Once retrieved, Alex quickly made his way back to the couch, his attention now solely on the screen. “I’m really glad they have shirtless Zefron scenes in this movie.”
“Cold pizza is usually even better than hot pizza though! At least I think so.” Jeremy tugged one of many take out adds from their fridge door and offered it to Alex, on top of the piles of metal and tools. “I’m always willing.” Jeremy replied, covering his mouth with a curled hand after as he laughed. “I mean… I guess I’m just too agreeable. But whatever you and I do together I enjoy. Even if it’s what you want to do most I just–I suppose I like to see you happy.” He had shrugged multiple times, trying to make sense of that statement as he went. “What about Bad Neighbors? It’s stupid, but… well, Dave Franco’s in it and he is fi-ine. Wilsoooon~!”
“Then we’ll order that pizza and stick in the fridge for a bit and let it get cold,” he joked with a laugh, picking up the take-out ad. “You’re cute, Jer. Next week I’m gonna drag you out skydiving and see if you say the same ‘whatever you and I do together I enjoy’ stuff.” Alex pointed at him tauntingly. He dialed the number of the take-out place and gave the guy on the phone his order. He hung up and tossed back down on the table, where it seemed to be swallowed by the sea of stuff. “You think Dave Franco’s hot? Oh, my God, no. Zac Efron is where it’s at. Dave is just so short and -- I mean, no offence to short people or anything,” he gave Jeremy an apologetic look before moving towards the couch. “But I guess this way we won’t ever have to fight over who gets to date which guy. Let’s throw on Bad Neighbors so we can drool over frat boys.”
“I’m still waiting for her to tell me that I’m getting a car. Ellen is the symbol of acceptance and that’s something we all need, you know? Are you saying punny or funny? I can’t tell. Seriously, I can’t.”
“I think we’re all waiting on that day. I’m waiting for that one afternoon where I’m watching Ellen and she’s going up to someone’s house to give them a thing and surprise them, and then I’m like ‘woah, that’s my house’. I know it won’t happen but yeah... Oh, I said punny. But both work, because puns are pretty funny.”
“I’m fine, I just need to avoid someone for a second. He’s an old classmate and I would rather not talk to him.”
“Understood completely. So... hey, did you see the forecast for this week, though? It’s supposed to get pretty cool, which I’m not that stoked about. I, for some reason, got this big ice cream truck and I wanted to park it near the beach this week and see if it’s worth keeping, but no one wants ice cream when it’s cold, right?”
“Hey, different s-strokes for different yolks and all that. Then they grow up into big clumsy dogs and- I’m actually on a wait list for a service dog. I go meet him in about a week to see if he’s a good fit for me.”
“I had a dog growing up that was like that - cutest puppy, but the clumsiest dog. -- Oh, you’re getting a service dog? I know you’re not supposed to pet them when they’re working and everything, but hopefully I could meet them when you get one.”
