taylor price
$LAYYYTER
pixel skylines
hello vonnie
d e v o n
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KIROKAZE
todays bird
ojovivo
JVL
will byers stan first human second
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Show & Tell
Kiana Khansmith
PR's Tumblrdome
★
Discoholic 🪩
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
oozey mess
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@alexboroff
People always tell you that this is a beautiful picture. But what they don't tell you is that this lady suffered a lifetime of severe shoulder pain after Rockwell made her hold up that turkey for six hours while he painted her. It was already bad enough that she had to dodge all those scotch bottles he was flinging at her with his free hand.
Anyone can put the 'Christ' back into 'Christmas,' but it takes real skill to put the 'Christ' back into 'Labor Day.'
Me
Space Truckin' Def Leppard is still okay, but they were so much better when they had that giant guitarist playin' for 'em.
Cut n' paste I know a guy who can do our album cover for us. He works at Adult Swim.
The Opening Scene to "Force Blast," My Idea for an Action Movie
Opening scene: A city bus teeters on the edge of a skyscraper.
Smoke is everywhere. So are helicopters. There are people standing on this hole in the skyscraper. Well, they aren't standing on the hole. It's like you can see the floor of the skyscraper but the side is open. Not open like you open a window, but open like it was blown open by something, which would be the bus.
The camera zooms big-time into the bus where you see the driver and he's all mangled and gross. Then the camera backs up all crazily so you can see the people in the bus. There's a woman who's hysterical and she has all kinds of breasts. There's a foreign guy who's probably all religious so he's praying to something or whatever. There's a fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt and he's probably just a party animal. There's a slick executive guy and you know he's horrible because of the cell phone and sunglasses. There's another woman and she has breasts too, but she's brunette.
Zoom into a guy's face. His eyes are all squinty so you know he's serious and ready to do something crazy.
"There's no way you're going in there, Jack Blunt," says a voice on the guy's headset.
Jack flicks the cigarette out of his mouth and pulls out another cigarette from his pocket and lights it and smokes it.
"Or what?" he says, awesomely.
"Damn it, Jack," The Chief says, real flustered-like. "You're the best man I have on the force. You've been with me for a decade and you helped me beat my gambling addiction after my wife left me. You came from the streets but you listen to ragtime, so that's pretty different. I can't let you go in there."
"Sorry, Chief," Jack says. "No dice."
Jack jumps off the helicopter and right onto the building-hole-thing. Jack sees that there are still all these people on the bus, so he pulls open the rear emergency exit and tells people to run off the bus.
They start running and everything gets real slow-motion, which the fellas will appreciate when the ladies I mentioned earlier run by. The fat guy stops and looks at Jack and says, "Next time, I'm using the subway AND eating at Subway."
Jack thinks that everyone is off the bus, but then he hears this "Waa waa waa waa" sound.
Zoom in real fast: baby carrier at the front of the bus.
Jack spits out his cigarette and runs to the front of the bus, grabs the carrier, and starts running back towards the exit. Everything looks all bumpy and crumbly. But just as he gets halfway up the bus, the weight of the bus shifts suddenly and the bus starts to fall. Jack runs on the bus aisle like it's a treadmill until the bus falls and Jack has to jump out the back of the exit and onto the building.
He thinks he's safe because he lets out this big "Whew" sound, but then he looks down to check on the baby. It turns out that it isn't a baby in the carrier, but a lit bundle of like forty sticks of dynamite and a tape recorder playing baby sounds.
Jack throws the entire carrier downward. The carrier lands on the falling bus and explodes, which sends the bus rocketing downward to the city street, where it lands on another bus that also blows up. The look on Jack's face says: "Son of a bitch--that is not what I wanted to happen."
Screen goes black.
"FORCE BLAST"
Rocknado This is definitely an F-5. But where does it rank on the Coverdale lookalike scale?
(Answer: Really high)
Thrashterpiece "Don't only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine. And don't forget to just nail the hell out of the trem bar whenever you can."
I have travelled by sail and rail O'er hill and dale Through hail and gale Becoming ashen and pale So that I might shop At your whale of a sale
Me
This album is mini-boss You're going to want to find the rocket launcher first and load up on plenty of ammo. The chaingun will do in a pinch but it won't be easy.
Strato-blaster This is the kind of thing you could do with a Fender before the CBS buyout.
That narrows it down.
Un-zoned cover This is what happens when your album cover artists aren't board-certified, licensed and bonded.
Everyone thinks 'Baby's First Christmas' ornaments are so cute. But man, will they ever be mad if you try to make an honest guess with a 'Grandpa's Last Christmas' ornament.
Me
Weather report The forecast today is partly cloudy with a chance of white tiger.
This TV could be a really good gift for a hands-off dad, because it looks like he can use it to show his kids what a better dad might look like.
Rock n' road Nothin' worse than cruisin' with your buds on the freeway when some spazz in a pinball starts ridin' your ass.
First Alert: The Movie
I recently purchased a First Alert OneLink Instructional DVD from Amazon.
It arrived complete with a bonus gift of two First Alert OneLink smoke detectors. Times must be tough for the DVD industry, because I thought it was pretty extravagant to throw in two free smoke detectors on top of a perfectly good instructional DVD, but I thought, “Hey, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do to move merchandise.”
It made more sense to me (kind of) when I watched the movie, which was about how to use the smoke detectors. So I guess it was one of those promotional gimmicks. Like “Hey look, I’ve got the same smoke detectors as the guys in the movie. Cool, huh?”
That was what I believe these First Alert guys were trying to do with this smoke detector/smoke detector DVD set-up and I will concede that it was a clever plan. These smoke detectors are unique from other smoke detectors, in that they communicate with one another via a wireless signal, so that if one goes off, they all go off. That’s pretty awesome in itself, but let’s forget about the bonus gifts and get to the nitty-gritty about this little film that I watched called “Our Safe Home,” made by the First Alert production company.
Ostensibly about smoke detectors, “Our Safe Home” is more about a romance about two people — Nick and Janet — that unfurls over a sometimes tender, sometimes tense discussion of First Alert products.
Nick is a divorcee, as indicated by the absence of a ring on his left hand. His big puffy tan vest suggests a ruggedness about Nick, but the lack of fishing lures dangling from the vest indicates that Nick is not so far entrenched in his bachelor ways that he cannot be tamed by a good woman.
We start with a tight, narrow-range shot of Nick standing on the front porch of a nice, sterile suburban home. We can tell by the throaty tone of his voice and general self-assuredness that Nick understands a thing or two about protecting a home from fire and carbon monoxide. But we’ll soon find that Nick hasn’t seen it all. World-weary and shop-worn though he is, Nick knows a good thing when he sees it, and isn’t afraid to admit it.
“It’s the newest, most exciting safety technology that families have come across in a long time,” he says. “Because when you have First Alert OneLink alarms, you have a network of battery-operated alarms that can respond as one.”
A “network that responds as one”? You’re talking about your want of a stable relationship with a woman who loves you for who you are, Nick. We hear ya buddy: loud and clear.
And who should walk up to the very porch upon which Nick stands but Janet: an expert on state-of-the-art smoke detection technology.
Ready to “explore” (I think you know exactly what I’m talking about), Nick and Janet walk into the house, together. And here’s where the intrigue begins. Nick starts off by explaining his knowledge of how dangerous fire can be, and Janet supplements his knowledge quite adroitly. He’ll lay down a fact about fire, and she’ll give one right back before Nick has even put a period on the end of his sentence.
“That’s right, Nick. And did you know a fire can double in size every thirty seconds?”
Whoa, Nick — this ain’t Janet’s first time at the rodeo.
Her ensuing discussion of carbon monoxide is one of the most tense moments of the film. Nick is mostly quiet during Janet's soliloquy, and lets her do most of the talking. But is Nick silent because Janet is showing him a new and exciting world that he has never seen before? Or is he merely being coy, letting Janet take the reigns with the conversation to see if she truly is the one for him. I’m not quite sure, and that’s what makes “Our Safe Home” great for repeat viewings because the intrigue is always there and never fully solvable.
The tension finally explodes when the smoke detectors come out. And here’s where I noticed something that I hadn’t before. What’s that on Janet’s hand I see? A ring. Janet is married.
If you’ve seen “Bridges of Madison County,” I think you know where this is headed.
When Janet starts talking at great lengths about First Alert OneLink smoke detectors, I think it’s plain as day what has led her to this point. Caught in a loveless marriage, Janet found inspiration and the strength to carry on in her one true passion: smoke detection technology. She once loved her husband, but sometimes days and even weeks passed without so much as an “I love you” or a simple peck on the cheek. It was a marriage in name only, and just forget about the bedroom because that was only good for sleeping or staring at the ceiling wide-awake and dreaming of a better life. So she dived right into learning and understanding smoke detectors. First Alert, Kidde, General Electric — all the name brands and even the generics (when she was feeling low). The smoke detectors could never talk to her. All they could do was emit a shrill, rhythmic 120-decibel beep. But at least the smoke detectors responded, damn it!
And now, with Nick, Janet found someone who understood.
“Okay. So I’ve got my First Alert OneLink alarms, and I’m ready to install them,” Nick says. “Where do I begin?”
Nick might as well have said: “I understand you, Janet. Show me. Show me. Introduce me to new and sensuous pleasures of the flesh. I am your’s now, Janet. I am your moment. Take it.”
And believe me, she does. Inserting 9-volt batteries, pressing link buttons and reset buttons, pressing them again to see if they work properly — it’s all there. And when you’re finally done playing spectator to Nick and Janet’s voyage of love and exploration, you’ll ask yourself just how the twenty minutes you spent watching “Our Safe Home” went by so fast, but you won’t need to ask yourself whether our 50-years-young couple stayed together or not, because you’ll know in your heart that they have.
“Our Safe Home” is available on Amazon.com for about $60 and comes with two bonus smoke detectors.