I'm a million diff people from one day to the next

[thelovejournals]

Come back! Even as a shadow, even as a dream.

Euripides, Herakles (via thelovejournals)

😭

[moonlyaffairs]

She’s magic, And you’re Trying so hard Not to be moved by her. Because loving means Falling, And you may risk Breakage Or a couple of scars. So, If you find yourself Falling slightly in love with her Let yourself. And if by chance You feel the Tectonic plates Beneath your heart Shifting, Let it be. And if it’s a Destructive Earth shaking love, Remember there is always something Worth salvaging From the wreckage.

Zienab Hamdan - Unsolicited letter to the boy who is afraid of love (via moonlyaffairs)

I wish you would give us a chance, T

[bowlingforbabes-deactivated2021]

You don’t realize how long a year is until you spend a year without something.

(via sriou)

Fuck me. Hello June 4, 2015

[ifeeltheglow]

dream date: we get chinese food delivered, it’s raining, i take a shower in your shower (it must be a nice shower with good water pressure), you let me wear your clothes after i shower, you have a cat that i can pet, we watch movies, i fall asleep in your bed for like fifteen hours, you fall in love with me

[alexcorinne]

Yes. Except the cat.

[halfasiangirlproblems]

The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.

Juliette Lewis  (via ciaolamort)

🙌🏼🙌🏼😩🙌🏼🙌🏼😭😭

[blossomfully]

I wanted to say something: “I’m sorry,” or perhaps “fuck you.” I wanted to say, “I let you in and you abused that position of trust.” But no no no. I wanted to say, “kiss me please please, we can forget everything.” Or maybe, maybe I just wanted to say, “I forgive you. You’re not sorry but I still forgive you.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #262  (via blossomfully)

[cwote]

Not everyone will understand your journey and that’s ok, it’s not for them.

Unknown (via cwote)

Needed to see this after the weekend with my mom.

[writinqueen]

[alexcorinne]

The rest of the outcome

I spoke up about our chemistry, how I didn't want to come off forward but I felt like it needed to be said. I think he's always been one to take time before replying to something, so at first I got nervous. He then agreed and it felt comforting. The rest of the evening was beautiful. We laid in silence for some time, he brought up the grief, his dad, the numbness. I attempted to comfort, hoping I was doing it right. He wanted me to stay the night/ a part of me so badly wanted to, just lay there forever. But something inside me said, give him space, let him miss you. After many more kisses and lots of don't go's, he walked me to my car. He thanked me for a great time and said he'd like to see me before Washington. I wanted to tell him IM AVAILABLE TOMORROW. But I didn't. An hour later, he sent me the sweetest message thanking me for my company, telling me how nice it is for me to be back in his life, and how he wanted to see how the week played out to see me again. It is so hard not to want to txt him 24 hrs later. I want to send him quotes, tell him about my day, ask him about his first day back since bereavement leave. I'm sure it's tough, I can't imagine. I'm afraid of my feelings for him. I'm afraid of being too much. Will I scare him away? Will timing rear its ugly head and convince him otherwise? I guess I'll have to wait and see. My anxious mind and depression do not like it one bit.

[alexcorinne]

The outcome

My meet/date/hang with T went absolutely phenomenal. The chemistry is real, and oh my what a struggle it was to not want to grab that face as he immediately got into my car.

It was 12:15 pm and I hadn’t heard from him, I was sure he was going to bail. 2 min later, he had messaged me his address and we were on for 1 pm. Oh, the way he loves to make me wait…

He got into my car and gave me a tight, friendly hug. I told him he looked good and he said I did too. I wouldn’t say it was awkward, I think we both didn’t know where to begin, it had been almost exactly a year to the day since we had seen each other.

As soon as we got to the trail, it felt like all those times before. The banter, the sarcasm, the very obvious flirtatious comments. That chemistry, so undeniable. We walked and talked about so many things, what we had been up to the past year, his friends, their relationships, our exes, my depression, his grief. We sat up on this rock in a little cave- like area, thigh to thigh, I wanted so badly for him to kiss me. We continued to talk about things, like how everything ended. I apologized for the way I acted, for lying; he apologized for being an asshole.

We finished up the hike and made a bet that if I led us the right way home, he’d have to come on another hike with me. If he won, I’d have to get snow cones with him. I won, but we got snow cones anyway.

As we sat and ate our snow cones, laughing about my tongue and teeth being blue, it felt so natural. I was anxious to see what would happened when I took him home. Would he ask me to come inside? Would I stay over? Would I drop him off and would we never speak again?

It’s like he read my mind because he said, what are you doing for dinner? I replied that I wasn’t hungry (a lie, I was nervous!) and said something to the effect of do you want to hang at your place?

So we did. He introduced me to one of his roommates who then asked me how our hike was. We laid in bed side by side, I could feel the heat radiating between us, the sexual tension, neither of us wanting to make the first move or jump ahead.

I then made a joke about his armpits smelling (his arms were in back of his head) so he brought them down and grabbed my hand. He then replied, this solves it huh? We laid like that for a few minutes. After two episodes of Broad City, footsie and legs intertwined, he turned on his side, buried his face in my neck like old times, and told me he really liked this. I don’t know how it happened but we kissed.

The kissing intensified. PG13 stuff.

To be continued...

[alexcorinne]

men from my past

There was a boy in 2013, that I met on tinder. We went on one measly date, it was cold, he seemed bored, and he left after 45 min. Til this day, in a way, he's just as passive. We eventually stopped talking in 2013 after he thought I was being too intense (I accidentally friended a girl-friend of his. Damn fat thumbs.) Fast forward to 2015, I'm drunk, heartbroken, and at a concert alone. I txt this same boy and he replies "the nanny? I remember you!" We instantly hit it off, again. I get obliterated and fake drunk to sleep at his place. We end up doing just that- sleeping. I awoke the next morning and we stayed in bed talking for hours. I remember him telling me, "it's so refreshing to talk to someone likeminded." I fell in love...lust...not sure. A week goes by, no other plans are set, and my ex and I are working things out, for the 2nd time. This is pre-therapy-super fucking depressed me, so you can imagine how confused I am. Unfortunately, I string both of them along for about two weeks. I can't decide on who I want to be with. Do I go for passive, extremely affectionate, great conversations T? Or do I stay with the one guy who pushed me to better myself? (I don't realize how toxic this relationship is until 6 months after we break up.) T gets frustrated, catches onto the fact that I've basically been playing with his feelings and wants nothing to do with me. A month later, Grant breaks up with me and I have a nervous breakdown. We are now at almost a year to that day of re-connecting with T. His dad has passed away and I reached out to provide comforting words. After some small talk, I took the plunge and asked him if he'd like to catch up sometime. He immediately said yes. 2 days later, we have a day set. It's almost impossible to not have expectations. Our paths continue crossing 2.5 years later. Is this is a sign of something more or is there a lesson to be learned? I guess only time will tell.

[terezasuniverse]

You can’t spend the best years of your life waiting for somebody to love you back.

8pm thoughts (via unisex)

Cannot, will not

[nullalibertas-deactivated201612]

Maybe we’ll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now, I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.

Wishful thinking (via nullalibertas)

[wordsnquotes]

But my words become stained with your love. You occupy everything, you occupy everything.

Pablo Neruda, So That You Will Hear Me (via freckkles)

[alexcorinne]

My therapist and I are thinking a conversation about family has awakened another wave of grief. I've cried more this weekend than I have in a very long time. It was scary to think that I could fall back into that deep depression. With this wave of grief, comes thoughts of Grant and the questioning of "am I really over it?" The answer is no. I have stopped counting down the days to the 4th of the month (we broke up June 4) but I still wonder about him all the time. I just wish you could see how far I've come.

[txla]

[colinquinn]

[alexcorinne]

Me and my depression #gpoy