The video hits YouTube on a Sunday morning, and of course, thatâs the worst possible time. Â Winn is sleeping late because he was up half the night being Jamesâ man in the van. Â Itâs Alexâs day off, and sheâs still wrapped around Maggie. Â Neither of them are asleep, but neither of them at checking the social media feeds for any mention of Supergirl, either.
Vasquez actually sees it, but she has a strict policy against giving a shit before noon on her day off, and after laughing for a good twenty minutes, she goes back to watching videos of people restoring vintage motorcycles.
Jâonn technically knows what youtube is, but only because he keeps catching Kara watching cat videos on the monitors in the command center. Â Lena actually knows how to use youtube, but her viewing history is composed entirely of cat videos Kara has sent her mixed in with a larger number of replays of Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko than is legal for a woman who claims to be straight and not crushing on her best friend.
So, for all intents and purposes, White House Press Secretary Cat Grant is the first person in Karaâs social circle to see it, by which time it already has half a million views.
It shouldnât be a bit deal. Not really. Â Itâs a security video of an attempted convenience store robbery. Not the sort of thing the White House Press Secretary should ever have to bother with.
The video starts off normal enough. Â A young, ethnically ambiguous young man is behind the counter of the store. Â Heâs flipping reading a book, and barely glances up as someone comes in the door. Â A moment later, he has a gun in his face and an angry man in his early twenties demanding he empty the register. Â The clerk trembles as he shoves money into a plastic bag as fast as he can, but both he and the robber turn to look as the door opens.
A girl walked into the store. Â The camera doesnât have a particularly good angle, but several things are clear. Â She has horrible bed hair. Â Sheâs wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe. Â Sheâs wearing bunny slippers. Â Sheâs carrying a teddy bear tucked under her left arm.
The clerk and the robber watch as she walks right past the in progress felony and stops at the coffee station. Â She picks up the largest cup available, and puts in four of the flavored creamers, and six packs of sugar before adding any actual coffee. Â She stirs it quickly, puts a lid on it, and picks it up in her left hand.
When she turns around, itâs suddenly clear why the robber and the clerk are shell shocked. Â The fluffy pink robe is hanging over, and Supergirlâs suit can be seen under it, clear as day.
She walks back towards the counter, and for a moment, it looks like sheâs going to walk right by them again, but she just casually reaches up and smacks the robber on the forehead as she passes, and he drops like a rock, unconscious.
Supergirl disappears out of frame for about a minute and returns with four half gallon tubs of Eddyâs Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream which she sits on the counter. Then she reaches up, slips her right hand inside the neckline of her suit, pulls a twenty and a ten out of her bra and slaps them on the counter, picks up her ice cream, and walks out the door of the convenience store.
Itâs hard to tell, because the video quality is terrible, but Catâs pretty sure Karaâs eyes are closed the whole time.
When the video ends, Cat just covers her face with her hands and screams into them, because sheâs going to have to find some way to spin the fact that Supergirl is now rescuing people and buying ice cream in her sleep.
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