a database that is wholly unnecessary @unnecessary-database - Tumblr Blog

there will never be anything as funny as the mutual disbelief between long form and short form fic writers about each other's style.

short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.

meanwhile long form writers look at people writing 1000 word one shots like god I would cut off my left nipple to be able to say anything concisely. i would love to play with multiple ideas. free me from the shackles of this child I have birthed. i love them but I now must take them to t-ball and doctor's appointments and they're going to destroy everything I own.

#my long fic is getting out of hand it is nearly 3 million words #Harry Potter #it’s the Harry Potter one #on god I have too many characters #I’ll post it again later lol

depsidase

do-not-u-dare

Stole this from somewhere but i think it’s appropriate

praziluk

sweatpants and tanktop is the lingerie of the proletariat

top-cheese

ok so its a pretty good story but you know what would make it better? a liar. a character who lies. maybe two.

boyaega

in your otp which one is icarus, forever chasing something they cannot reach, and which one is metaphorically daedalus, having to watch the person they love fall to their demise because of their own hubris, and knowing that they cannot save them

frownyalfred

ao3 authors are something else…

unnecessary-database

I do this and that’s my bad, team

kylieminvogue

"SUPERGIRL" (2026) "Home"

starlord3000

BABBY KRYPTO 😭😭😭 feeling very maternal towards him im gonna cry

dcladies

New poster for Supergirl (2026)

superfandomcorp

Supergirl

prismatic-bell

Okay I just heard what is simultaneously the funniest and sweetest thing I've ever heard about the Revolutionary War.

So apparently when Lafayette and Washington met up at Yorktown after not seeing each other for several months, Lafayette went full glomp on Washington.

This is incredibly sweet because aww, you missed the guy who basically adopted you, we stan.

But it's also extremely funny because please imagine never-been-outside-the-colonies calm-and-collected reserved-and-distinguished George Washington being hit with the full force of la bise with no warning.

kereeachan

Tbf, George was mostly distinguished in public because he felt he HAD to be. The man understood perception.

But yes, hilarious.

prismatic-bell

The primary source I was listening to was clearly not familiar with la bise, because it included the description that Lafayette "kissed him all about his face like a most ardent lover" and when I tell you I choked on air and then thought "old man yaoi" and then of that tumblr post that's something like "Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210 slutty, slutty years"

Also I think I'm a little in love with Lafayette because after the surrender at Yorktown the British were pointedly looking at the French (as in, French men led by French generals, sent by Louis XVI) army, not the Continentals....so Lafayette (French but volunteering in the American army) ordered his men to start playing a song. The song the British had been using for years to taunt the American Continentals.

They could look or not, but they still got to leave to the sound of Yankee Doodle.

I can't prove this "bitch you thought" moment is why Yankee Doodle became a beloved American classic, but let me tell you, that's now why it's a beloved American classic to me. That is so gloriously petty. That's gonna be my crab rave song on a day not far from now when a thousand children named Don are born.

kereeachan

Oh yeah. A lot of our Euro allies were like "oh no, Brits, you WILL acknowledge you just lost to your former colony" both because they liked us for pulling it off and because it was a new way to clown on Britain.

I actually had a coworker do a presentation of "what happened to all the French soldiers seen in the Surrender of Lord Cornwallis painting?" (b/c the artist painted all real people, and we know who was who)

Short version, they went about half and half on sides for the French Revolution, Baron Von Stueben probably had the worst death, a lot of the guys who sided with Robespierre got killed by him later because they were Still Nobility, and quite a few more died during the Napoleonic Wars.

Also that white flag confuses people. It was the flag of the House of Bourbon, aka the French Royals. It's not the flag the Brits surrendered with.

prismatic-bell

Von Steuben, no 😭 my swearing gay Bavarian deserves better!

Yeah, basically what I've gotten out of this is "we 100% won because of the French, who were in it because it would ruin Britain's day." It was a world war before we had those.

Also this podcast indicated we're not 100% on why the British aren't in that painting but it's probably that they were mad and refused to stay to sit for it. Which, I mean, I get it, but y'all really just let your enemies look magnificent and glorious and didn't give anyone the chance to feel sorry for you? This is why you lost the empire. Tsk tsk.

(Also I'm slightly confused not by the white flag, but by all the Continentals in uniform. Was that just "we need them to look better than they do" or are these all officers or something?)

brightonstudios

Okay maybe today wasn’t that terrible

dogmotifv2

from what we can tell "full movie online free" seems to be some kind of 21st century prayer

Just curious. Is there a reason you don’t lock your fics from guests beyond just wanting to make sure you reach people who can’t/don’t want to get an ao3 account? I bit the bullet a while ago and locked mine so im just looking for alternative views, no judgement.

I didn’t have an ao3 for a long time and got to read stuff anyways. Idk why, felt like a commitment signing up my email to stuff (can you tell I was just a kid) and it really just opened up my world. If I get a bunch of nasty shit I’ll reconsider. Just never even thought of it, honestly.

thetursithan

allthingswhumpyandangsty

every day I learn bot comments on ao3 are stooping lower and lower

anyway if you get a comment like this, chances are that they are bot and their goal is to do whatever it takes to get you to delete your work, most certainly (from what I’ve heard) it’s because they want to “safely” steal your work, use it to train their ai without you being able to rightfully claim ownership of your work since “there’s no proof that the work was stolen/was posted elsewhere first by you” because the original source has already been deleted.

THEY ARE ALL BOTS. at first it was “ao3 is deleting fics and your entire account will be affected unless you delete the fics yourself” then it was “this work contains contents that are illegal and they have already reported you and your fic to the police” (yes, that’s how desperate these bots are), and now it’s this.

report their comments to ao3 for spam—in this case, specifically, I think you may be able to report them for harassment too—and don’t pay attention to them, most importantly don’t delete your works, don’t feel discouraged by their comments. remember that they are bots and they mass comment something like this on people’s works at random to get people to delete their works. (or even if they’re not bot, they are still pathetic bullies who don’t deserve your time or attention.)

MORE ABOUT BOTS AND SCAMS PLAGUING AO3’S COMMENTS SECTION HERE

unnecessary-database

Shoutout to these gems I got. Also, I typed the guest username in and found tons of fics in polish?? All dark rape porn with nearly no interaction. Way to not make it obvious tho, bots

velvet4510

To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

tuulikki

Knowing all this has always made this bit of Beren’s song instantly reduce me to tears:

Though all to ruin fell the world

and were dissolved and backward hurled

unmade into the old abyss,

yet were its making good, for this—

the dawn, the dusk, the earth, the sea—

that Lúthien on a time should be!

Tolkien straight up wrote a poem that said “the world could end, but it wouldn’t have all been pointless, because she was in this world, however briefly, and that justified all the rest.” Kills me.

Who can outdo Wife Guy Tolkien? Dude was writing elaborate AUs where his wife is an impossibly beautiful magic-wielding immortal elf princess who fights Satan and wins to rescue her human boyfriend from Satan’s doom fortress. Flawless.