[alexfromtarget]

[chewie-rhwn]

When Alex from Target was a thing

[alexfromtarget]

reliving our favourite memories of the decade i see

[delzdesigns]

If you’re reading this, I’m your dad now.

Go cut the grass.

[oneyouforget]

It’s 2 am

[delzdesigns]

You heard me. Use a flashlight.

[fireballat5thlevel-deactivated2]

please may i have some coochie

[fireballat5thlevel-deactivated2]

[found-bodies]

[somasis-moved]

[weedmemes42069]

what did you tell him!!!!!!!!

[vikander]

[hope-crest]

me: wow things are actually going really well for once!

the crippling anxiety, waiting in the corner:

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

[shejla24]

[nowhites]

same energy

[jehovahhthickness]

Boys lie so damn much. They can say “good morning” to me & I have to check to see if the sun is out.

[chanel-and-louboutins]

[zevveli]

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

[elsajeni]

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

[glowpatrol]

last time i had sleep paralysis that kid Wen from lemonade mouth stood at the end of my bed and did the rap to Determinate for like 3 hours straight and i haven’t slept peacefully since

[glowpatrol]

I tried to warn y’all

[amthsts-remade-deactivated20191]

It wasn’t sleep paralysis he was actually there he actually broke into your house and intended to rob you but you woke up and he had to improvise

[pettysag-deactivated20180315]

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful

[wattpadfic-deactivated20170213]

me: goodnight moon :)

moon: should’ve been saying goodnight 5 hours ago its 4am asshole get your life together

[saintoflostmonsters]

The only acceptable icing is buttercream. Whipped icing is a cowards choice and fondant people are demons and gotta meet me in the street for their poor life choices that led them to accept Play-Doh as acceptable cake decoration

[twennywan]

turn on ya location and we can talk

[saintoflostmonsters]

Hope you understand sign language then cause all you’re gonna be seeing is hands

[xeppeli]

when someone asks you if you’re okay