Construct

Hello my name is Alex I will be using this blog as a place to write thoughts down occasionally. There are alot of things I like, very few things that I don't. My favorite things are anime, poetry, reading, writing, and playing the occasional game. I'll probably have alot of NSFW so just a heads up. 29 years of age, don't care what pronouns you want to call me.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Tired

I'm tired of feeling spent,

tired of paying rent.

In a home that feels cold,

in a place that feels old.

I'm expected to provide,

I panic constantly inside,

They push and pull,

asking me to be full.

Yet I linger in my content.

The only space I dont feel spent.

Is it so wrong?

To want to draw it out this long...

Tell me,

Is it so wrong to enjoy me?

[alexofasinfulnature]

A Thought

Desire, want, and a weighted heart,

I have no idea what I am doing,

and often your words are soothing,

you truly are a muse for art.

Yet not only a muse,

You stand true like an unbreakable tower,

even I often cower.

Where do lines blur and stand,

when I am not the one with pen at my command.

I do not dare to cross,

for if the bond should break,

it is not an ache I could take,

I would be the one with a loss.

You are the safe harbor I often seek,

not only when my boat begins to leak,

I know you will stand tall,

I do hope you know I will never let you fall.

I wish you could think of me,

if only for a moment to talk,

perhaps a short walk,

if nothing else to just speak free.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Hey Happy New Year! I'll be on again a little more consistently after the holidays are over, but I hope you all stay safe and have a very good start to the new year!

[alexofasinfulnature]

Equivalent Exchange

Sleigh landing on roof,

the bells ring brings good fortune,

rewarding good deeds.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Merry Christmas!!

[alexofasinfulnature]

1/10

You'll find my Christmas spirit,

at the bottom of a full pit,

it sits submerged under experiences past,

that holiday cheer doesn't last.

Though I do love seeing people smile,

watching them forget for awhile,

that magic doesn't exist,

and even opportunities they missed.

I really don't enjoy holidays,

nine times out of ten, it goes sideways.

but I love the chance of that one,

vicariously enjoying someone else's fun.

While they open up a present,

and pretend it's heaven sent,

that Kris Kringle came with a jingle,

so their children and reality don't mingle.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Pegging for Presents

Christmas Eve Santa came down the chimney,

he quickly went to the lit tree,

finding a note promising something sweet,

in the master bedroom he found his treat...

a woman with a strap on windmilling the dildo carefree.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Curiosities

I wonder what you think when you see me,

perhaps a spector you occasionally see,

I love every time our eyes meet,

only a second to quicken heartbeat.

I feel undeserving of your presence,

and it does make sense,

with nothing to offer you,

a empty shell of someone you knew.

Yet you smile as if I bear a gift,

as though there never was a rift,

that I had made long ago,

when I often hurt you so.

I see no anger in your eyes,

no hidden malice or lies,

it's something sweet and kind,

if I search, what feeling would I find?

[alexofasinfulnature]

Missing Memories

Impossible feats,

trying to stop winters chill,

holding you again.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Rosa Odorata

I fear your gentle voice,

it's a reminder that there's always been a choice,

between the serrated blade love I know,

and your sweet love that makes plants grow.

I'm almost envious of their connection,

how they are showered with your affection,

and how they strive to touch you,

if I were a rose I would too.

A rose with nothing to fear,

a rose that only needs you near,

but I am not a rose,

and I'll never get that close.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Call of the Hunt

A hunters blue eyes,

hair of flames ignites passion,

skin kissed by moonlight,

I am willing prey for you,

keep your arrow set on me.

[dirtygoodgrief-deactivated20260]

moonlight peaks through trees

you try to camouflage, but

my eyes continue

to hunt through the leaves for you

I've watched you every night

[alexofasinfulnature]

Prunus Persica

Weight of ripened fruit,

nail torn tender flesh dripping,

essence covered lips.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Low Frequency

Earth shattering words,

a whispered conversation,

click of a closed door.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Owls Watch

Moon becomes new sun,

circadian rhythm switch,

a nocturnal bliss.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Et Tu, Brute

Not a dagger hidden behind cloak,

but love under the guise of a joke,

kisses placed behind every poke and prod,

desire lying beneath a cordial facade.

Encoded messages in every smile and look,

all unuttered thoughts could fill a book,

that may one day be read aloud,

when pages no longer fit under shroud.

The truth is crystalline clear,

if you listen closely you'll hear,

the way I say your name,

and I love you sounds the same.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Small Hopes

The sun is still there,

a new day has come again,

but you won't see it,

clipped flowers lay on headstone,

the roses gaze in your stead.

[alexofasinfulnature]

Wraith

Let me consume your misfortune,

I'll devour delicate tears,

serve me all your deepest fears,

a meal of pain and distortion.

They will no longer be yours but mine,

unfasten your emotional tribulation,

to be left with only elation,

feed me so you can be fine.