Funny quotes from my life

[alexsaywhat]

"Your shoulder is fucked"

"Your hips are like concrete"

[alexsaywhat]

"This is my best friend Carly"

[alexsaywhat]

"Table for one weirdo?"

[alexsaywhat]

"I'm literally the worst person to ask"

[alexsaywhat]

*sees in the bathroom for the second time*

"We're on the same schedule"

[alexsaywhat]

*turning onto highway 5*

"They really launch you there"

[alexsaywhat]

*Asian girl approaches booth*

Joe: *starts packing up*

Joe: "there's a spot in hell for me"

[alexsaywhat]

"Are you down for some cupping?"

[alexsaywhat]

"Teachers are so whiny"

[alexsaywhat]

"Her name could be Lagina"

[alexsaywhat]

"5 minutes of COBRA"

[alexsaywhat]

*is talking about Union Station park*

"Is that attached to the hotel?"

"Is what attached to the hotel"

[alexsaywhat]

*at 5:55 AM*

"42 minutes to St Louis we will probably land before the sun does"

[alexsaywhat]

Mien: W I ...

*long pause*

*louder* W I ....

Mien: Stacey can you spell one more time

Stacey: *microphone isn't working*

Mien: ... W I

[alexsaywhat]

*sitting in silence for several minutes*

" .....wow..."

*silence continues*

[alexsaywhat]

"I'm surprised they didn't check IDs on the way in"

[alexsaywhat]

"This is how we do it when we hire real employees"