"Bloodshot" by Julien Baker is my favorite song right now and here's why.
"I can see myself inside your bloodshot eyes/Wondering if you can see yourself in mine/Or do you just see me?/And of me what you want to see?" The feeling of loving someone but not having the same deep love being reciprocated.
"Middle of the night all I can see are stars/Pulled them from my eyes and your ex lover's arms/Throw hook after hook, and if I were you/After all that I did, I'd have done it to me too" My eyes see beauty but you're not over her yet AND I THINK I DESERVE BEING TREATED BADLY.
"Isn't like I did it on purpose/I just forget the second I learned it/Everything I get, I deserve/You whisper to me 'Don't you like it when it hurts?'" Misunderstandings in the relationship and feelings of inadequacy that allow them to happen.
"Five days out from the initial event/It takes two kinds of pills to unclench my fists/It's too kind of you to say you can help/But there's no one around who can save me from myself" Anxiety, inadequacy, and self-criticism for feeling inadequate.
"Isn't like I do this on purpose/I just forget the second I learned it/Looking for little oblivions/I'd do anything knowing you'd forgive me" Trying not to allow yourself to feel that you are worth less than your partner and not allow yourself to let your partner feel they can step all over you.
"There is no glory in love/Only the gore of our hearts/Let it come for my throat/Take me and tear me apart... Drag me away in the dark/Take me and tear me apart" Feeling insecure of your relationship, whether that is due to the type of relationship you have with your partner, your sexuality, your own problems or theirs, etc. Realizing it relies on both of your extreme emotions along with your situations no matter how tough they are to deal with. Realizing that you are supposed to be there for each other and that you will struggle with each other. At first, I took this as being a negative thing about relationships, saying there's no winning because it will be overshadowed by the situations you get into that make you upset. But, I'm also seeing it as that there doesn't need to be winning because the deep emotional connection they have will allow them to suffer together and for each other.
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