Glenn feels outside of himself watching Alfie close out their check. The dreaded words he had feared to say again for so long… there they had come, spilling out of him like it was nothing. Like it was natural. He’d only ever said them twice before: the first time to Lily, who’d chuckled and said he was drunk, and then to Max. So it was no small feat for him. But if he wanted to say it — so badly, in fact, it had been plaguing his mind for weeks — why fight it any longer? Or at all? What form of self-flagellating, Catholic guilt bullshit was behind his constant rejection of his own happiness? So he’d said it, and Alfie said it back as Glenn knew he would, and what was once understood but not spoken became a common knowledge between them. A lifeline to tie them together. I love you. They seemed complex, but they were simple words, actually. Glenn was learning that sometimes love could be a very simple feeling indeed.
Two and a half hours of what may have been the best sex of his life later, Glenn lies in bed with Alfie’s head on his chest, staring contentedly out the window and running his fingers through the younger man’s honey-colored curls. He’s not drunk, but he feels like it. He thinks if he were to die at this very moment, he’d look back on his life with no regrets. Everything had brought him here, exactly where he’s meant to be: with Alfie. “And I love you,” he says with equal adoration to his companion. “So much.” He pulls him up for a kiss, hungrily breathing in Alfie’s scent like a sweet, expensive perfume. “Now go take a shower, and I’ll do my best not to join you so you can actually focus. We’ve got about two hours of daylight left.”
Once he hears the water running, Glenn slides off the bed and goes to his suitcase, digging through until he finds his flask and a small pill bottle where he keeps his Xanax. His hands are shaking, and he’s not sure if it’s from the day’s events or the lack of food in his stomach, but it’s enough that he needs to take a Xanax to calm down. He knows he should eat, but on days where his emotions run high, he finds it almost more pleasurable to be fighting off hunger pangs. It makes everything crisper, sharper, heightens his senses, makes him feel more wholly. And he wants to feel every moment of this day with Alfie. He pops the pill and washes it down with whiskey, taking a long swig before replacing it in his jacket pocket, and begins the process of getting ready.
An hour of burnt sunlight and a 30 minute drive later, they’ve made it to the pumpkin patch just in time to catch the last hayride of the day. With dusk setting in, Glenn is pleased to find the ride mostly full of other couples rather than screaming children, albeit all heterosexual and mostly covered in camo. He leans against Alfie’s shoulder anyway, entwining their fingers between them to make it less conspicuous. He took a few more swigs of his flask while Alfie was in the bathroom, and he’s feeling nice and loose. “This is romantic, huh?” he grins, locking eyes with the younger man. “Sunset hayride, cornfield, autumn leaves falling… you’re getting the real growing up in Ohio experience right now. How do you feel?”
So far the pumpkin patch was living up to what little Alfie knows about them from the movies. The petting zoo, the gift shop that sells homemade maple syrup, and of course, pumpkins for days - they definitely weren’t in California. The two of them squeezed onto the hayride amid the other couples but they stood out like a sore thumb in central Ohio. Glenn wasn’t kidding when he said there was a stark difference in culture but Alfie couldn’t care less about that. “It is romantic. I think the closest we would get to this in California is a shuttle through a vineyard in Napa Valley,” he says, melting into Glenn’s side once the vehicle set into motion. “I feel good. I’m really happy to be here with you,” he turns his head to meet Glenn’s eyes and notices their lips are just inches apart. He decides to spare the rest of the hayride from any excessive public display of affection but not before he catches a familiar whiff on Glenn’s breath. The mimosas, remember? Right… “How are you feeling? Good? Not nervous or anything?”
Alfie is still reeling from their exchange of words over breakfast and every time he looks at Glenn, he’s reminded of it again. He is about to become very annoying about being his boyfriend. Thankfully, the rest of the couples surrounding them seem to be too entranced by the autumn views to be paying any attention to them. Despite how breathtaking the scenery is, Alfie’s only focus is Glenn. “Listen, I don’t want you to be upset or anything but…I know we paid $15 for this scenic hayride but I get to look at you for free,” he stifles a laugh and nudges Glenn in the ribs. Alfie is caught off guard by another whiff but this time of whiskey or bourbon, which he’s positive they weren’t having at the hotel restaurant.
The hayride lets them off on the other side of the pumpkin patch and Alfie is already pulling out the attraction map he picked up at the ticket booth. “Look at all of this shit to do,” he holds the map in front of Glenn’s face, perhaps a little too close to see. “What do you want to do? Go get apple cider donuts? Good idea.” Alfie reconnects their hands and begins heading in the direction of the food booths. There is plenty to see and do at the pumpkin patch but he can’t help but get distracted anytime he glances over at Glenn. “You know, I’ve known I was in love with you for a while. Just didn’t know when or how to say it. I’m glad you beat me to the punch on that one,” he gives his hand a squeeze.
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