fcuk

grayson / ftm / aroace / gw 120

[magicalcake-deactivated20230604]

casual reminder that if you’re a trump supporter i don’t want you following me and you can also choke

[shitpostgenerator]

can i end your tits?

[transenbyhollis]

Absolutely, please, go right ahead

[algebra--addict]

i keep thinking back to 7th grade when i knew a girl named angle. i thought she was joking but no, it was literally angle on the roster. everyone pronounced it like angel but still. what the fuck

[hellheavenhybrid]

[coldtongue]

“you’re so polite!” thanks, I am afraid of you.

[sadfce-deactivated20211006]

exposure edit 1

[skin-and-boneless]

[atomsandhoney]

[angel-disorder]

[my-mental-maelstrom]

Me: *holding a sharp object*

Intrusive thoughts: “Hey, you know what’d be cool right now?”

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[skinnyboysblog]

[imposer]

[furiousgoldfish]

trauma processing information ahead: you doubt your feelings relating to a certain event because when it happened you don’t remember as if it hurt you, you remember it as it maybe it wasn’t that traumatic, maybe it didn’t affect you so much, you feel like you handled it just fine and you weren’t so scared or pained by it back then and you don’t feel you can call that traumatic but then in present you suddenly get overwhelmed with pain and fear and grief and even anger and you try to stuff it down because NO IT WASN’T THAT BAD and you keep convincing yourself you’re overreacting because you can remember that it was not that bad and you keep thinking it didn’t even matter

So now try to remember when it first happened, it could be that you were still really small, or you were directly faced with the abuser/danger, or you were in unsafe environment where you couldn’t freely express, but the thing is, it didn’t hurt so bad the first time because you were unable to both survive and feel that amount of pain. Children’s bodies are not capable of withstanding traumatic amount of pain and survive, that pain is repressed and dissociated for later when bodies are big and strong and able to survive it. You cannot allow yourself to experience pain and fear that would make you extremely vulnerable and thus less likely to survive in traumatic situation so in that case too, your body represses the emotions and settles on dissociation until you’re safe enough and strong enough for these to be properly processed. 

Only reason it “didn’t feel so bad” back then is because your body repressed the pain and fear to save you. But the amount of pain and terror and anger you’re feeling now is exactly how bad it was. You’re only now experiencing on your own skin how actually bad it was! That’s how badly you were hurt. You’re not overreacting or making a big deal out of it now, you were unable to feel how bad it was before. Your feelings are always there for a reason, they’re generated inside you by harm that was done to you and you can trust them. Your reactions are not wrong, your feelings are not wrong, it was exactly that bad.

[greenapplepunch]

[mothboy-222]

my body is made of crushed little stars

[mothboy-222]

i’m so happy this has so many notes thank u

[farmhouseloverboy]

i can't handle the inherent homoeroticism of sharing a cigarette.... like bro it touched my lips and then touched yours... bro... it's like we indirectly kissed bro.....