good as hell

Woo child, tired of the bullshit. Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving. Yes Lord, tryna get some new shit. In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit. Come now, come dry your eyes. You know you a star, you can touch the sky. I know that it's hard but you have to try. If you need advice, let me simplify.

[alipucks-blog]

📲 aliyah&connor

ALIYAH: really thought old age was gonna make you pass out on Friday but you performed twice and only looked like you needed a cane three times

ALIYAH: very proud of you, looks like those ankle weights are working

[alipucks-blog]

📲 aliyah&penny

PENNY: so who knew you had musical talent

PENNY: a girl with layers.... revolutionary

[alipucks-blog]

📲 aliyah&beth

ALIYAH: u up?

[...]

ALIYAH: i feel like you don't even get that joke

[alipucks-blog]

📲 aliyah&brady

ALIYAH: bradley i need you help

ALIYAH: not really i just wanted to continue solidifying bradley as your name

ALIYAH: it's all part of a 22 step plan

[alipucks-blog]

📲 aliyah&spencer

ALIYAH: anyone ever tell you, you look like sebastian smythe?

ALIYAH: you got a cooler name though, i mean hard to beat spinner

[alipucks-blog]

📲 aliyah&ale

ALIYAH: anyone ever approached you for a sleep study 'cause i'm pretty sure your DNA holds the answer to insomnia

[alipucks-blog]

hqandie‌:

“Sure.” Andie was pretty sure that was one of the times manners didn’t particularly matter all that much, but she wasn’t going to say it. “Serendipity is a really useful word. Like right now.” She shrugged. She obviously didn’t just use words for no reason. That just happened to be one of the ones she rarely got to use — correctly, at least. Andie quirked an eyebrow at Aliyah’s comments, but did nothing to hold back the smile that followed. She couldn’t really explain what it was about Aliyah that amused her so much, but she did know that a lot of it had to do with her giving off ‘I don’t give a fuck’ vibes, and then proceeding to share her opinions nonetheless. “Right, fourteen, give or take a few years. You figure it all out pretty quickly. The business thing, I mean.” She wasn’t going to pretend she was doing something monumental or that had never been done before, but it was work, regardless. “Fair enough,” Andie agreed with a laugh, because even she couldn’t argue with that logic. At Aliyah’s next words, Andie finally bent down to pick the boxes back up so she could continue on her way. “I didn’t ask,” she pointed out, looking right at the girl beside her. “So I’ll just leave you to it then?”

“Oh you’re right, my apologies, you definitely look like you’ve been the Sweet Sixteen version of a Bridezilla before, so you’re at least legal to operate a vehicle on your own.” There was something about Andie that just made Aliyah want to be the fucking worst, but she also wanted to be the best, it was a weird combination and a very difficult set of goals to accomplish. Would hanging around this chick be a good or bad thing? That was the real question and Aliyah was curious to figure out the answer.

I didn’t ask. It was just three words, but there was so much behind them, and in that moment Aliyah realized what it was, Andie might actually be a worthy opponent for her. Clearly she wasn’t afraid of getting frosting in her hair, and when Aliyah was busy shining her demonic horns with the tip of her spaded tail playing devil’s advocate, Andie expertly adjusted her shiny ass halo with the smooth feathers of her wings, to meet Aliyah tit for tat without missing a beat. Plus, the other woman’s resting bitch face went so very well with Aliyah’s resting ‘fuck off’ face. They’d probably make a dope Aziraphale and Crowley, but that was a Halloween talk for another time.

“Leave me to what? Stalk the stairwells of a building I don’t live in? Wow, do these people know you wouldn’t bat an eye at a potential serial killer. I mean I could be anyone.” Was it argument for argument sake, fuck yeah, but it was also true and Aliyah prided herself on being a truther?...... truthian?...... truthist? truth seeker, yeah that one’s made up of real words. The stack seemed too high and there was a real potential for disaster if more stairs were involved so, “I kinda wanna see how this goes for you, so I’m just gonna tag along and if you’re lucky I might even catch you when you fall.”

[alipucks-blog]

tinacchq‌:

Tina smiled. It was always nice to hear people appreciate her work, especially people around here who were surrounded by all kinds of content. The digital world at their fingertips, so to speak. “Thank you! I just feel it’s important to go to the source, you know? It’s been almost ten years since I was in high school, and while a lot of stuff is the same, it’s always changing,” she reasoned with a shrug. Being authentic was important to her. “Am I interrupting nap time then?” she asked with a chuckle, “I can try to quiet my clicks?”

"The internet made the whole high school shit fucking obnoxious, but the world wide web and it’s marriage to tech also gave me a job and gave a platform to folks with shit worth listening to, like you. But it also made the annoying orange a thing and the internet should probably die for that.” Rubbing at her eyes, she shrugged, “The clicks are chill, plus I can nap anywhere any time, so I’m good. Getting up and taking the chair at the station next to Tina’s the younger girl absentmindedly spun herself around. “What’s this weeks podcast about? I mean, I’m letting you steal my chair for the day so I feel that obnoxious sense of entitlement for you to give me information you’re not obligated to about something that isn’t mine. But on the plus side, I’m not a cis straight white dude, and I’m owning it, so maybe that makes it like 2% more acceptable.”

[alipucks-blog]

beth-hq‌:

Beth smiled indulgently, knowing fully that Aliyah did exactly what she said she wouldn’t do. She finds the young girl to be endlessly entertaining. Beth hopes that she won’t get tired and bored of the girl so quickly. “They were all very well behaved,” She emphasized the word and arched an eyebrow, signaling to Aliyah that she knew what she’s been really up to. “Do you have anything else to do today? I was just heading back and I would love it if you can drop by for a cup of something?”

Thinking about the shit she had to do that night, there was actually a shit ton, none of which she wanted to do more than Beth..... nothing she wanted to do more than hang out with Beth, yeah, that’s what she meant. “Nah, terrifying ill behaved kids was pretty much my whole thing today, because it’s important they learn now that monsters are real.” In all fairness, Jo appreciated her monster voice and had never thought it was scary, then again that kid was fearless so who’s surprised. “Do yeah, I can do a cup... of..... something? Weirdly vague but I’m into finding out if you’re trying to poison me or not.”

[alipucks-blog]

TEXT 📲 ( Toby & Aliyah )

TOBY: ...Don't call me out like this.

TOBY: YOU KNOW I CAN'T FIGHT. DON'T FIGHT ME! IT'S AN UNEVEN BATTLE WTF!!!!1

TOBY: You know what, Al? Stop buying tasty evil shit then! Don't be mad at my cat! It's not his fault.

TOBY: She is literally the hottest librarian ever. God. We should watch that again.

ALIYAH: calling you out is my birth right as a Capricorn and honestly it's time you start respecting my inability to be incorrect or over step

ALIYAH: YOU KNOW I DON'T EXERT ENERGY BECAUSE I SAVE IT ALL FOR SAGE CLEANSING RITUAL. SO MUCH WALKING

ALIYAH: 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ALIYAH: mummy marathon? speaking of how many movies are we trying to get through a day during halloween-tober and are we adding the new IT movie?

[alipucks-blog]

coryhq‌:

I don’t know if the cayenne lemon water sounds like something I want to experience. I think that I’ll just do a facemask and call it a day.

It ain’t that bad, mostly it just helps with digestion, so if you’re ever constipated give it a go. Peel off or mud? 

[alipucks-blog]

spencer-hq‌:

Would you look at that? My name is Spinner Smythe now. 

Wow you just... went with it. What a hero.

[alipucks-blog]

coryhq‌:

Took the weekend to do a juice cleanse and soak in the tub, thought that it’d be a nice little pick me up before Monday. Honestly just wasn’t it, highly disappointed actually. I don’t think I’ve ever woken up this happy or excited to be back at work on a Monday. Pretty sure this makes my transition into a fully-fledged adult permanent and irreversible. 

No shit, Juice cleanses don’t do anything, except starve you and simultaneously make you shit a literal ass ton. Next time you wanna ‘cleanse’ just eat like a human and drink water with cayenne and lemon in it.

[alipucks-blog]

[alipucks-blog]

beth-hq‌:

TIMEFRAME: 2 August, evening

LOCATION: IHQ Campus

OPEN TO: Aliyah Puckerman @alipucks

WARNINGS: None.

Beth rolled her shoulder as she rubbed the back of her neck. It had been a day. The children were all behaving very well but for some reason Beth felt an increasing level of unease. She was deep in thought, trying to come up with an explanation for her mood, when she almost bumped into Aliyah. “Oh, Aliyah! Still roaming about and being a little mischief?” She smiled brightly and gave a cheeky wink.

Holy shit, it’s Beth, be chill Aliyah, you live in LA, hot blonde chicks are basically standard issue here, get your shit together. Except there was no one quite like Beth Fabray. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m the most well behaved  and I would never purposely hide in a dark corner and randomly pop out to scare random passerby’s, because that wouldn’t be funny.” Look everyone had their thing that kept them sane or made them feel better when they were having a bad day or just gave them a sense of accomplishment. Being a skulking figure was just her thing. “Kids chill today? No one’s screaming, so I’m taking that as a good sign.”

[alipucks-blog]

hqandie‌:

Andie quirked an eyebrow at her. “Would have to say that mine would too,” she pointed out. She couldn’t just not notice that Aliyah had liked most of what she had posted lately, especially since it was clear that Andie herself was doing the same. Something about Aliyah was obviously intriguing. “Plus, that’s the business you put out on the internet anyway.” Andie shrugged, bringing a hand up to her opposite shoulder while she rolled it out. “Guess it was just serendipity.” Right place, right time, that sort of thing. Andie followed her fixed look down at the boxes. “Clothes,” she said simply. “A shit ton of them. Living that running a business life.” Andie shrugged. “Because I don’t want anybody to do it for me?” She took great pride in generally having her shit together, even if it meant being being too stubborn for her own good at times. “And who says I’m not a gym rat in my free time?” Everything about her said so, maybe, but oh well.

"I mean, I was just returning the favor. I wasn’t raised by heathens, sometimes I know manners and shit.” Yes, that’s why she’d been liking Andie’s stuff. It definitely wasn’t because she kind of enjoyed the girls presence, and she wouldn’t go so far as to say she’d missed her or anything, she barely knew her, but she’d be down for a non desert food fight sometime. “Di you just use the word serendipity in casual conversation, who am I talking to? Every American actress in the 1950′s?” Despite her words, Aliyah had been..... impressed, it wasn’t everyday she heard someone use a five syllable word correctly. Which is actually pretty fucking sad, but alas. “You run a business, you’re like fourteen. Not that a fourteen year old couldn’t run a business, I mean there are probably high schoolers out there with better more economical business plans than any baby boomer.” Now probably wasn’t the time to start herself on a baby boomer shit talking rant, but like why not create the opportunity to do so when you can? And why the fuck wouldn’t you get someone to do something for you if you could, who the hell was this chick? “The fact that you literally had to stop to stretch while carrying these boxes  isn’t really screaming, I go to the gym five days a week like every other LA asshole.” It was a harsh judgment and it was incorrect, no self respecting LA Gym Body went to the gym less than seven times a week. Watching the other continue to stretch, Aliyah looked down at the boxes and back up at Andie. “For the record, I’m not helping you.”

[alipucks-blog]

TEXT 📲 ( Toby & Aliyah )

TOBY: I almost fucking started CRYING.

TOBY: Thank fuck. We're good. We're still friends. Still roommates.

TOBY: You need to keep that evil shit in your room though. The common area is a No Evil Zone from here on out. Unless the aesthetic of it is beyond dope. Then I'll let it slide.

ALIYAH: the fact that you think I don't know you legit cried is insulting and adorable

ALIYAH: wow

ALIYAH: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

ALIYAH: we're about to fight, tobias, that's about to happen

ALIYAH: 'cause you really out here acting like A.) my aesthetics aren't always dope

ALIYAH: and B.) like it's my damn fault the lady hating kitty insists on eating EVERYTHING👏🏼I👏🏼OWN

ALIYAH: plus cats scare evil, come on Toby we all saw the Mummy, Rachel Weisz would never lie to us